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RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 5/25/2008 8:57:22 AM   
BikerDomRealTime


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		If it does not feel right don't do it.  Plain and simple.

(in reply to HizBabyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 8:36:11 PM   
blacksword404


Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HizBabyGirl

Thank you, I guess I did not make it clear, I would relocate to him if all went well. I have the freedom to do that.

Thanks for your reply.


What exactly would you be relocating for. I like toy. I play with toy. I put toy on shelf. I go on with my life. When im ready i take toy off shelf and play with it again.


_____________________________

Don't fight him. Embrace your inner asshole.

Tu fellas magnus penum meum...iterum

Genuine catnip/kryptonite.
Ego sum erus.

The capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill, the willingness to learn a choice. Dune HH

(in reply to HizBabyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 9:25:14 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I will admit now that I have not read the entire thread.
My first thought was this... you are not expecting the impossible... just expecting the impossible with him.
It sounds as if he isnt what you want or need, and getting into it and hoping he will change is a bad approah. Why waste your time and his when you know already you are more likely than not a bad match?

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to blacksword404)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 9:34:15 PM   
addisonclarkgirl


Posts: 346
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline 		As much as these people are telling you not to go, I can completely understand where you are coming from.  I have been, and really still, in the same situation as you are.  I know how much you are hurting, and I know how alone you are.  I know how much you need your Daddy. 

I'm a little girl wanting a Daddy too, and I'm getting older, attracting men who just want sex.  Over and over and over, I fall for it.  Over the past few years, I've been talking online and phone to a Daddy who lives about 4 hours away.  It's so funny, because when I read your post, it was pretty much everything I've been going through with him.  However, he is great at communication, gets me emotionally, is a wonderful person, and is a very good friend as well as a Daddy, my Daddy.  Yet, he too is busy, and our relationship revolves around his schedule.  Often, when I need him, he's not there for me. 

For the longest time, I held off on going to meet him, because I knew I would become too attatched, and afterwards would be very hurt if he treated me as before.  Yet, guess who gave in just last week.  I have to say, I felt proud of myself for holding off for so long.  It just began to feel like this was it...the moment. 

Everything was perfect.  Everything.  It was almost too good to be true.  I felt as if all of the pieces were falling into place.  I'm a very intuitive person, and I felt as if this was it; this was the man I was supposed to be with.  Now, I'm back home, and guess what.  I haven't heard from him.  I know I will eventually.  It's just back to the same pattern as before.  I don't think he's decided he doesn't want to be my Daddy.  I just think that nothing has changed.  As wonderful as our time was together, we're back on his schedule, his set of needs.  Nothing has changed, except now we've held hands, had incredible sex, had dinner together, kissed, cuddled, talked face to face. 

I guess I don't have any advice for you.  I just feel for you.  I completely know what you're going through, and here all of these people are saying "don't go...don't go," when you still want to.  You'll still talk to him; you'll still call him Daddy; you'll still hope things will be different after you meet.  He can be the greatest Daddy in the world, just as mine seems to be at some moments.  If you do go, enjoy your time together.  Don't worry about things.  Don't try to change him. You cannot change a person, especially a Dom :)  If you do meet him, be prepared for the same thing when you get home.   I can almost 100% guarantee that nothing will change. 

Good luck...addison 

_____________________________

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set her free...Michelangelo


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Princess_of_Naughty_Pics

(in reply to blacksword404)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 10:52:45 PM   
HizBabyGirl


Posts: 97
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		Dearest Addison: I have mixed feelings about your post. On the one hand I feel lucky that someone understands "how it is/can be". On the other hand, I feel sorry for you that you must deal with things as they are.

I was so ready for you to tell me the fairy tale. You went, your eyes met and you have been inseparable ever since. I'm sure you would have preferred a different ending. But really, you have not reached the end. I think perhaps men (though certainly not all and certainly not exclusive of some women) are slower to arrive at the conclusion that they have met someone they want to be closer to and to whom they will give of themselves.

You sound capable of persevering, you sound patient, two traits I do not always have for myself.

Yes, age does not make it any easier. I feel its similar to the "baby clock" for someone who desparately wants a child but has thus far been unsuccessful, at least for this time round. So too I feel the desire to find someone before it is too late. I think I am reasonably attractive still but time is not on my side. I have the fear that my thirst will never subside and that when I leave this earth I will have that regret.

I do tend to get maudlin sometimes, some people describe it so. I prefer to think of it as perhaps realistically examining possibilities and probabilities.

I do hope you will notice a change in the one to whom you have given yourself and that he will realize what a treasure he must surely have in you. I give you my very best wishes for happiness and success in your continuing journey.

(in reply to addisonclarkgirl)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 11:04:08 PM   
HizBabyGirl


Posts: 97
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		You certainly have your view of me and it is not a flattering one, but one you are entitled to have. However, I feel I am very "self-aware". I think that you must be put off because I am not a dyed-in-the-wool hardcore slave but that is not me. What I wrote that you are so critical of was a fantasy, we all have them. I certainly have no script for him. What I do ask is that he find me valuable enough to share his time with me and his thoughts. If he has already decided that he wants me but that he will not try to fulfill my needs also then he is not someone who should be my master or daddy, or perhaps anyone's master.

He told me that he once had a submissive who was married. He did not care for the arrangement because she owed her first allegiance to someone else. That is the same way I feel about him, that I would come in, at best, a sorry third in his life, if that.

I will keep looking. I'm sure you don't understand the gentle person inside me who has much to give yet you call me selfish. Your thoughts which you have every right to have, its just that they are not true.

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 11:08:49 PM   
HizBabyGirl


Posts: 97
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		You are very right, he is not the one for me. I need someone more open to my feelings and his. If wanting to know of his thoughts as a child or a young man make me a selfish person then i am happy to be so. Perhaps there is someone for everyone, perhaps not. If there is someone for him, it will be someone who is cold and aloof. If that is what pleases him, more power to him.

My main complaint, at base, I suppose, is that he listened to me tell him what I need and desire and rather than be honest and say it is not him, he pretended that is the way he would be. But when pushed to deliver the goods, he fell far short.

Better to find out now than later.

Thank you for taking your time to share your wise thoughts.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 11:09:57 PM   
HizBabyGirl


Posts: 97
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		I'm afraid I do not understand your meaning.

(in reply to blacksword404)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 11:12:38 PM   
HizBabyGirl


Posts: 97
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		Simple yet true I think. thank you for your thoughts.

(in reply to BikerDomRealTime)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 11:16:35 PM   
HizBabyGirl


Posts: 97
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you for being "your own person" and doing what you thought best, including your reply here.
I do thank you sincerely.

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/19/2008 11:59:32 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Short answer: yes, you are expecting the impossible with him. But it seems like you knew that when you posed the question, and that by coming here you have received the validation you needed in order to move forward and go on with your life.
If I were you, and please listen because I have scads of experience behind me to back this up: I'd cut off all contact with him ASAP, block him, change your phone number if necessary, whatever it takes to make sure that you don't waste another millisecond of your precious time on him. What you apparently got was a classic bait-and-switch. He talked a good talk in the beginning, long enough to get your hopes up, but then showed by his actions that he is incapable of walking the walk. As soon as he began showing you this, you should have walked. Better late than never, yes, but why didn't you then? What has taken you all this time? If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, the saying goes, its a frickin' duck!
 Why have you been acting like you have low self esteem, if you don't? Maybe, just maybe, you do. Take a hard look in the mirror. Low self-esteem can be corrected over time. Take on some new challenges, and keep working at them until you succeed. Then set new goals, and achieve them, etc. Go to school. Volunteer to help others who are less fortunate. Learn.
 
Take some time before you get involved with anyone new, to go over just how and why you let this happen, and figure out how to avoid continuing your admitted pattern of getting involved with losers. Take some time to truly enjoy being alone, and not having your time wasted or your days ruined by a loser. LIFE IS SHORT. I don't have time to waste on someone who doesn't show me by his actions that I'm a priority in his life. Not having looked at your profile (sorry, I'll look after I post, my bad) I can tell you the one phrase that needs to be in it, and that you should use as your measuring stick for future prospective relationships: "RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIP". Make it clear in your profile this this is the type of relationship you require, and that you won't waste time on anyone who doesn't show by his actions that you are as much a priority in his life as he is in yours.


_____________________________

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(in reply to HizBabyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/20/2008 6:50:49 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HizBabyGirl

You certainly have your view of me and it is not a flattering one, but one you are entitled to have.


Whether right or wrong in my assessment, the point is that what I see is what you are projecting.  If I can get it so wrong (and I'm fairly astute in my observations), then imagine how you are being viewed by others who aren't as discerning? 

quote:

ORIGINAL: HizBabyGirl

I think that you must be put off because I am not a dyed-in-the-wool hardcore slave but that is not me.


Nothing could be further from the truth.  Aside from the fact that I couldn't care less what orientation you are, I place no special meaning on being a "slave"... dyed-in-the-wool, hardcore, or any other kind.  Personally, I'd debate there even being a difference between "submissive" and "slave" if it weren't for the fact that it would get so many peoples' knickers in a twist.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HizBabyGirl

What I wrote that you are so critical of was a fantasy, we all have them.


Well, actually we all don't.  A man who knows no hunger, rarely dreams of food.

But aside from that, do you really think that in place of a realistic description of you, your wants and desires, that a description of one of your fantasies is a good substitute for your profile?

quote:

ORIGINAL: HizBabyGirl

What I do ask is that he find me valuable enough to share his time with me and his thoughts.


And what is wrong with using this simple statement in your profile?  It seems to me it might be taken a bit more seriously than some fantasy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HizBabyGirl

I'm sure you don't understand the gentle person inside me who has much to give yet you call me selfish. Your thoughts which you have every right to have, its just that they are not true.


*shrugs*  As I said, I see what is presented.  It is not meant to be mean-spirited.

(in reply to HizBabyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/20/2008 10:52:46 AM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		run like the wind away from this loser

(in reply to HizBabyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/21/2008 4:52:38 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		well think about this..would you really accept this if the relationship was just a "normal" one?  In effect, it sounds like the guy wants what he wants but he really doesn't Care a whit about your needs..and I will tell you..I really doubt that it would change once you "lived" with him..Or do I think you believe it would..or you won't be asking about it

(in reply to HizBabyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/22/2008 12:17:42 AM   
ABUSE


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline 		Instead of banging your head against that brick wall ( there is NO DOOR THERE) why don't you just try one of the other HUNDREDS of Doms and Masters who have no doubt sent you messages already? Maybe you have a thing for emotionally/physically unavailable Men. Maybe not. Whatever. Is it because He's the one who sends the best messages? Now hear this: the best on line Master isn't  necessarily the best Master, or even a particularly good one.

(in reply to HizBabyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/22/2008 10:34:14 AM   
skimpytacowoman


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/19/2008
From: Fayetteville, NC
Status: offline 		Stay away from people who want to marry you without ever meeting you and without meeting your needs. Men (and I say men because I haven't been asked to get married by women) who use the idea of marriage to try to lure someone in are very unstable and he probably needs professional help. Perhaps his lack of caring for you (and yes, he does NOT care about you) is because he's just not into you or perhaps it's because he's mentally ill. Either way, you deserve what you need to be happy and fulfilled instead of settling for someone who is emotionally abusive (not giving time to the relationship out of one's own selfish reasons is abusive regardless if it's intended or not).

You are a human being and deserve to be respected and treated as one regardless of anything else. 

_____________________________

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

(in reply to ABUSE)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Am I looking/expecting the impossible? - 7/23/2008 10:56:18 AM   
Pair4play


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		One thing to remember in all of this game we all play is that we're each individuals and we each have needs and desires. You need to sit down and come up with some lists of what are absolute needs you have in a relationship, what are desires you have but that aren't quite needs but would enhance the appeal of a relationship, and what are things that are absolute deal breakers. It sounds like you're basically trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It seems like he's meeting a lot of your desires, but failing to meed some of your needs. You have expressed your needs, and he's failed on numerous occasions to meet them.

If you go to visit him, you'll find him catering to a lot of your desires, I imagine, and that will be like a drug he feeds you. It's very seductive to have your desires addressed, especially if you've gone through a dry spell of having them unmet. But at some point it's like building a beautiful home on an unstable foundation.

I'd advise not visiting and breaking things off. It'll suck in the short term, and he may even do some hurtful things to goad you into getting back together with him, but he ultimately seems incapable of providing the partnership you need. Take the tough road now, it'll only be tougher later.

(in reply to HizBabyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 77
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