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RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 9:13:49 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

Heh. Seems that everyone in the Gorean forum agreed that BDSM doms are really the bottoms in their relationships, and since that got really boring, they decided to move on and try the same topic in the BDSM forums.
Really? Perhaps we should decide that all the gorean masters are just subs to John Norman following his every command without question and then we can take that topic over to their little world for discussion.


LOLROTF


Oh My Gosh, OOOOPS! No Offense, I'm not saying I agree, but that's pretty funny I must say.

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 10:32:56 AM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Actually what this is..is a poor attempt to gain a internet army simply because people did not agree with the poster no matter how many times and ways he chose to post.

Personally it would be better to read the topics in the gorean forum and judge for one's self.


starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 11:53:12 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Uh huh. It's funny how the whole Gorean forum seemed to die the minute I stopped posting in there. All day today there have been a grand total of two posts. So now you've all followed me HERE?

What are we up to now, Lam's Theorem IV? Anyway, whatever it is, here goes: Goreans can't be happy unless they have an enemy who is allegedly decrying their chosen lifestyle.

It gets tiresome, children.

Edited to add: The most amusing thing was getting private e-mail from Goreans asking me why I don't post in the Gorean forum anymore.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 10/24/2005 11:54:10 AM >

(in reply to starshineowned)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 11:57:31 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I think that alot of them grew tired of having threads locked dwon by others whom like to wage war much like you do dude.........drama...personally and interesting conversation without drama is nice try it sometime

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I wish you well

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 12:04:32 PM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Actually no LordandMaster..I post in many sections based on topics of interest. I have even been doing this for sometime now.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 12:53:03 PM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		Didn’t Tarl change his opinion around about the same time Norman, his soon to be ex wife and her lawyer had public sex... they f*cked him in front of the judge. I’ve noticed many author’s creations tend to go through a major change when the author does too.
As for a sub “acting up” to get a spanking… well I often wonder if that is Topping from the bottom or more just a Dom with their head inserted some where.
When I have to punish fawn, I make a very specific ritual of it. The mood is not all light and playful although there is after care and lots of cuddling.
Pain is not the worlds greatest corrective means. When I punish I am doing it to stop a behaviour or a pattern of behaviours I do not like. Not to whale the tar outa her or give her a piece of my mind (I don’t have enough of one to give them all away). Sometimes a look is enough. Other times a few words… or lecture… hell ask my kids… those are the worst LOL… want real torture… 24 hours of Lost in Space re-runs….
I have said it before and will again, the main difference between abuse and discipline is intent. If your doing it to vent, to give her a piece of your mind or because your pissed… your in the wrong. If your doing it to correct a behaviour you find displeasing then in my opinion it’s discipline… within reason.. using a baseball bat because she put 3 spoons of sugar in your coffee this morning is a bit out there… although I did see a bat put to good use this weekend.
Safewords have their uses. I know I am not always at 100%. I make mistakes. I can hit the wrong stop of the body. I can bite a little bit too hard. I am human and make mistakes. The safeword system I use is two layered. Yellow to slow down and red to stop. Having seen a couple of subs almost go into shock from play.. I agree that a top needs to be aware of what is happening. But I also know we can make mistakes.
One last thing for this post.. I said once that love is the harshest whip.. and still believe that… if fawn knows I am disappointed in her, knowing that is much worse then any amount of spankings I could ever give her. I know a few other girls that would feel the same way about causing their Master’s to find them displeasing.
Tony

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 12:54:08 PM   
Guest
 OK.Now,this is a worthwhile thread,dont all go spoiling it.
It won't be locked,but the next person to issue personal attacks or baiting will gain moderation.And anyone who starts threads degenerating will gain the same.Lockdowns are tiresome.Formal warning.

(in reply to JustaTop)
  Post #: 67
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 1:40:02 PM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		thanks Wolfie for explaining the term and understanding my brain before enough coffee,lol.
as to some of the Masters being sob's, some days during the month we woman can be well testy (to put it nicely) so it can be easily accepted as part of human nature. part of a relationship, ya take the good w/ the bad and hope in the long run that the good outweighs.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to Wolfie648)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 1:54:15 PM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		im not real sure about the time frame he was going throuh the messy divorce but I could see where something of the nature would opiniate a person in the story he or she was writing.........and I do agree with you about the punishment....I dont engage in sensory play to that nature.....ie anything that has to do with pain in that respect....for me sensory play is about much more and I leave the spankings for punishment....I have made alot of mistakes in the past about the whip being the medium to bring both pleasure and pain.....if ya mix the two it tends to leave the intent of the situation up in the air for the bottom....is it pain for pleasure or punishment....this is my view on it.....pain is for negatively reinforcing bad behaviour....sensory play such as removing the ability to speak or see or hear or breathe this is sensory play...not the whip.......but if there are thhose that do engage in this sort of play then hey if it floats yer boat more power to ya...maybe someone could explain to me the differences in the types of pain inflicted to give pleasure...personally im not a sadist and I tend to find the subs/slaves that arent into pain....... the pain sluts tend to kinda be a little more bratty.....

Master Six

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I wish you well

(in reply to Phoenxx)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 2:49:17 PM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		Hey Six,
You say bratty like it's a bad thing ;-)
I know there is a trend to say someone is bratty and it's bad. And there is a line where playful does become a bad brat.
Asking why some people like pain and why it turns them on is a lot like asking why someone likes chocolate instead of butterscotch. Or prefers red heads over blondes. What appeals to you is what you like.
Robert A. Heinlein once said that for every sadist there is a masochist… marriages are made in heaven.
Tony

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 3:01:55 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		yikes....this has been a long thread to go through...I almost walked away from it due to it's length...but alas I can't resist...

I won't even go to what others do...why should I even care...if it doesn't affect me in any way..shape..or form, I couldn't give a square rats butt...

as a Master/Dom...your conduct will speak louder than the words screamed from a rooftop...I say..without any reserve...I'm strict...to what degree...well if I were inflexable...I'd be a very lonely..(not to mention stupid)..individual...a slave doesn't come to me along some assembly line where I just insert this piece..that thought..this action...and tada...I have a carbon copy slave...each is unique in their own right..(if they were not..would you have chosen them)...therefore each has different needs to fulfill...and if you as a Master/Dom don't see yourself as fulfilling anything..well I'll look at you ...smile...then walk away laughing...

we all get something from the dynamics of our relationships...and if we don't...most (but not all) simply move on...

Fury

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 3:28:15 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FLButtSlut

{snip}...the difference between listing limits during a search and the limits that are defined IN a relationship. {snipped}



I agree with this. Profiles, conversations and early meetings are where I -want- to hear about things like needs, limits, physical limitations, etc. Knowing these things enables me to make a good decision about whether this person is a potential fit. Once the collar is on, the decisions are mine. I still want to -hear- opinions, ideas, hopes, desires, etc....but how much weight those things carry will be up to me.

I have no problem with people asking for whatever they want in a profile. Havens know that I do. If someone accepts our consideration, though, under our rules, there is no turning back and saying that xhe "didn't know what xhe was getting into and -have- to have things X way". That is a sure route to spending some mute time by hirself, with hir body occupied in some repetitive physical labor, while xhe evaluates the dynamic that xhe agreed to, and while we decide whether or not xhe is going to survive with us for the long haul.

While I cherish long-standing relationships, and have no issue with providing strict structure and a healthy dose of discipline for our servants, I see no point in spending hours or weeks on a servant who patently refuses to participate in the process. It is much better for me to see in a PROFILE that a certain person has a personality that is unlikely to be able to yield to our demands than it is to get that person into training and -then- find out that xhe is incompatible with our expectations.

Lady Zephyr

(in reply to FLButtSlut)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 3:45:01 PM   
bronxboy


Posts: 20
Joined: 3/23/2005
Status: offline 		I will just be myself, a man who can be loving yet is heavy handed.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 3:45:35 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


That's about my feeling too. Desires seek their complement. I've said often that I don't "punish" since if a submissive doesn't actively seek to please me, I'd rather not have a D/S relationship with her. At times that's got me a "well, you really aren't really a dominant" which rates a shrug and "maybe not by your definition."

The bottom line is I don't change my expectations to match what someone wants. Frankly it's too much work and it doesn't have "legs."


Hot DAMN. I've been trying to explain this concept for years to folks, and nobody seems to get it. I, also, do not "punish". I will certainly provide "discipline" if a servant has made an error, to educate the servant to my expectations, and avoid future errors in the same direction. However... if a servant is consistently defying my commands and refuses to meet my expectations, even after being thoroughly educated in what those expectations are, I see -no- reason to continue to expend time and effort on that servant.

We have high expectations and things must be "just so" to be suitable. That is the way we like it, and if it isn't going to be that way, why would we bring another person into the relationship, with attendant adjustments, stress and hassle, if they don't actively want to -be- here serving us. (On the other hand, for the right servant -- one who is as dedicated to us as we would be to caring for them-- we will move mountains to make the way clear for us to have that symbiosis in our lives).

Lady Zephyr

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 3:53:51 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		Bratty must be a good thing for someone, since the few bratty subs I've known personally have been in long-term relationships... but it wouldn't work for our household, and it is -really- good to know that a person wants to participate this way before we go and bring someone home. *smiles*


quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenxx

Hey Six,
You say bratty like it's a bad thing ;-)

(in reply to Phoenxx)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 5:40:54 PM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		well as the old saying goes there is a time and a place for everything

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I wish you well

(in reply to Phoenxx)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 7:59:15 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
Desires seek their complement. I've said often that I don't "punish" since if a submissive doesn't actively seek to please me, I'd rather not have a D/S relationship with her. At times that's got me a "well, you really aren't really a dominant" which rates a shrug and "maybe not by your definition."

The bottom line is I don't change my expectations to match what someone wants. Frankly it's too much work and it doesn't have "legs."


I don't think I've ever changed My expectations to match what someone wants. My expectations don't change, they might get tabled for awhile, then again they might not.

Which brings Me to My next thought: Gee I've learned a lot on this thread.

I think I'll find a boy and just mistreat him to satisfy the true snarfy blackhearted sadist in Me.

Heh heh heh heh......

TexasMaam

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 9:38:08 PM   
Belladonna82


Posts: 171
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well....if all post are correct then you all are the very few doms that are not conforming...as a slave myself i have women claiming to be subs but have a list a mile long of will not or must....lol i mean goodness when did "i will not clean""do not touch my butt in public""You can not call me anything except my given birth name""U can not control any part of my life except in the bedroom..but no poly,no 3somes,no looking at anyone but me" become limits lol....Collar me needs to put a search topic about the # of limits and in what catagory...but hey some women might see a "do not ask me to cook dinner at all" a limit ...but hey here i am going on.....but really...why do some under the term Dom acctualy change their wants/needs to fit those girls who just want a sugar daddy who tie them up when asked....But anyways...Blessed Be!

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Blessed be!

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/24/2005 9:57:10 PM   
JustaTop


Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		There is a reason that many online "subs" do this with thier nicks when they have a boyfriend.

sub{D}

Notice who gets put in the collar?

(in reply to Belladonna82)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Are Doms Conforming - 10/25/2005 3:48:56 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		ah the old he chased me till i caught him syndrome,lol,,,,,,,,,,then got him wrapped around my finger,so i can have what i want

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to JustaTop)
Profile   Post #: 80
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