RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind and in good health ?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind and in good health ?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind and in good health ?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 9:20:51 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Partly in response to MLadyHathor and to others:
Here's just another issue: does KNOWING that a person have a physical disease stop one from having an intimate relationship with someone? Does it stop you falling in love with them?
Does it stop you playing with themif you are informed about safe practices?
Is there a physical disease which is OK and one that is not OK and where do we draw the line?
I was going to ask: how do those reading this, and there mist be those, how do the ones feel who have a communicable disease? (But then I realise that out of their subjective experiences they might be the least likely to post).
What exactly are the reasons for non-disclosure?
Insurance?
Fear of losing intimacy?
Fear of total rejection?
Lack of tolerance?
I suspect these are questions that might not be answered but I think, since it iimplies difficulty in obtaining information, the OP raises these questions.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/26/2008 9:21:24 AM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 41

Keep this in Mind - 5/26/2008 9:42:31 AM

fungasm

Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline

Something to consider:

More than 25% of Americans are thought to have either Herpes, HPV, or other STD which is in a form of remission. Medical records are no substitute for safe sex. Even if you play safely, there are risks.

It's been said here often and well: You have to get to know the person you are sharing yourself with.

_____________________________

"Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that's not the reason we're doing it." (Richard Feynman)

Blog: http://antidomme.sensualwriter.com

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 42

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 9:49:08 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

My responses only:

quote:

does KNOWING that a person have a physical disease stop one from having an intimate relationship with someone? Does it stop you falling in love with them?

If it is sexually transmitted--yes
If it contagious--yes
If it is terminal--perhaps--I do not have the financial where with all to go into debt for noninsured medical payments.
If it isn't covered by their insurance---yes
If its erectile dysfunction--no
if its anything that requires 24 hour attention outside of something like diabetes---yes--My life does not lend itself to being sedentary.

quote:

Does it stop you playing with themif you are informed about safe practices?

Yes

quote:

Is there a physical disease which is OK and one that is not OK and where do we draw the line?

I will not be with anyone who has a STD includng genital herpes, any form of AIDS, or anything contagious--I have a teen to think of and My own life--I want it to be long---that said if they appeared with something after we were a relationship--I would be committed and devoted--regardless.

I guess I am a snob in more ways than I realized----but I am just not a hero nor will I willingly expose Me or My child for the sake of My own desires.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 43

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 9:55:16 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

quote:

Is there a physical disease which is OK and one that is not OK and where do we draw the line?

I will not be with anyone who has a STD includng genital herpes, any form of AIDS, or anything contagious--I have a teen to think of and My own life--I want it to be long---that said if they appeared with something after we were a relationship--I would be committed and devoted--regardless.

Then I thank you for your response and honesty. I have underlined that in your response above which surprises me. It surprises me because it seems that your devotion would override your blame and/or suspicion.
Prin.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 44

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 10:00:35 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

Note: I said after----until then I have no commitment and am free to choose as I see fit for My life and that means screening out people that just won't work--to Me that requires no commitment nor blame, it simply is My freedom to choose or not and yes perhaps risk something wonderful--but I am a realist.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 45

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 10:03:22 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Partly in response to MLadyHathor and to others:
Here's just another issue: does KNOWING that a person have a physical disease stop one from having an intimate relationship with someone? Does it stop you falling in love with them?
Does it stop you playing with themif you are informed about safe practices?

Would a physical disease stop me from playing with someone? - no.
Would a communicable disease stop me from playing with someone - no - with conditions. No exchange of body fluids, no exposure to body fluids - basically they had better be sadists, because we aren't going to have intercourse.
Would it stop me from falling in love with them - maybe - my Sir has heart disease, arterial disease, and hypertension. it is probably going to shorten his life, and that tears me up. It took me a year to stop thinking he was going to have a heart attack when he exerted himself. I would have to think twice about falling in love with someone with a life shortening condition again. Life is pain, but you don't have to throw yourself in front of the bus!

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 46

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 12:42:41 PM

IXian

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

Have you tried asking them? I've heard honesty is back in season. ^_^
Seriously, asking is actually the best way to know. Mind you, it should be a polite question framed in such a way that the recipient truly wish to give a honest answer. The reality is that we can't really hedge out bets beyond common sense. If something "smells funny" then it probably is. (And please, no jokes about smelly gentilia

)

IXian.

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 47

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 1:11:37 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IXian

Have you tried asking them? I've heard honesty is back in season. ^_^
Seriously, asking is actually the best way to know. Mind you, it should be a polite question framed in such a way that the recipient truly wish to give a honest answer. The reality is that we can't really hedge out bets beyond common sense. If something "smells funny" then it probably is. (And please, no jokes about smelly gentilia )

IXian.

This thread has veered off towards comunicable physical diseases from a question of mental health issues.
I think that some of the same isues acrue to both though. The main thing that concerns me is when the person does so unwittingly because they do not know or do not realise. There are many examples that come to mind. The presence of HIV irus which has not been detected because that person does not and did not think to go for regular screening. The denial of alcoholism and the covert nature of certain stages of substtance abuse. The knowledge of psychotic episodes not disclosed. This worries me because it is a form of dishonesty really.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to IXian)

Post #: 48

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 1:55:52 PM

Floggings4You

Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline

Before I found My submssive, My profile stated that I am active in the local BDSM community. My submissive was able to find two people (that she knew) who also knew Me, and was able to verify before We met that 1) I really did exist, and 2) I really was known to the community, and 3) I had made a good impression on those two people, at two, perhaps more, public lifestyle events.

Being invovled in your local BDSM community is a great way to meet people--and also a great way to check up on people who may not be known to you, but are probably known to someone in the community...

(in reply to pinkwind)

Post #: 49

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 2:06:18 PM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

The presence of HIV irus which has not been detected because that person does not and did not think to go for regular screening.

Foolish IMHO in today's day and age with free clinics everywhere

quote:

The denial of alcoholism and the covert nature of certain stages of substtance abuse.

Denial

quote:

The knowledge of psychotic episodes not disclosed. This worries me because it is a form of dishonesty really.

This one strikes very close to home---said sub--6 months of chat and phone---comes for 6 month visit---100 lbs heavier than indicated and that webcam showed, addicted to codeine and psychotic episodes---pulled a knife on My child--

happy happy ass on the happy happy train---IMHO omission is as much a lie as lying---hence why I am very picky.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 50

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 4:01:58 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

The question inplys one should do a background check ask persmission for medcial records having acess to personal data brith cert and even a passport etc. do you think that is unreasonable ?
Since you would also would be prepared to allow the person concern access.

So it still boils down to: "How do you find outif a person is of sound mind and in good health ?"

Ask the person, Listen to the person. Observe the person. Investigate.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 51

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 4:26:50 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

The question inplys one should do a background check ask persmission for medcial records having acess to personal data brith cert and even a passport etc. do you think that is unreasonable ?
Since you would also would be prepared to allow the person concern access.

This question really disturbs me. We have excellent lagislation in place to guard against discrimination in terms of ethnicity, gender and religion. We have excellent legislation (I speak for here where I know best: in the UK) allowing access to those with learning differences (note my language) and physical disability. That is to say we are supposed to be as facilitative in our attitudes as we are in our physical maintainance of access via ramps stair lifts and so forth.
AND YET WE STILL CANNOT EDUCATE AGAINST IN BUILT PREJUDICE.
Yes caps lock because I am shouting. I am of the anti-psychiatry movement. I, for one, celebrate divesirty in my life and my attitude to others. God forbid the day when we reduce others to a diagnostic screening and a label that follows them around has a hardoutcome paper trail for the rest of their lives.
Try asking your original question please of anyone who has tried swiftly to cross the gender barrier both in terms of orientation and emplyment or housing.
If we as members of the bdsm community cannot celebrate diversity without falling back on recursive thinking and defensive conformity then it is a sad world.
All a test shows is that the person turned up for the test. Sorry: the rsponsibility for discrimination lays with you my friend.

The best way to spot nutcases is to give them time to show you. Some nutcases make it easier than others to spot them. Give them enough time and most will out themselves. So discrimate away, it is why crazy fucks always have drama swirling around them and grouned self aware people don't.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 52

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 4:35:12 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

So it still boils down to: "How do you find outif a person is of sound mind and in good health ?"

Ask the person, Listen to the person. Observe the person. Investigate.

Iron Bear

I agree with this whole-heartedly but then I have skills and an open-mind and I would like to think that I can deal with those in states of intoxication, under the unfluence of substance abuse (a broad statement I know) and those in states of psychosis and even those with observeable symptoms of schizophrenia.
Howver although i am open-minded i behave at an instinciual level the same as most people would in the face of non-consensual agression, violence and clearly anti-social acts like stalking and exposure and being attacked from behind. I say these things because I hacve experienced them.
But it is those totally unexpected behaviours, it is those shocking discoveries I have made during investigation (false names, other identities/personalities) and the conversations involving those long drawn out rambles into delusions, that have taken all of my skills to cope with and circumnavigate.
Is it because I am afforded the benefits of a sound mind indeed that I say i have an instinct for danger in another? Sometimes there have been instances where my heart has been involved where i have been blinded in my observations, and deaf to what has been said and oblivious to warning signs.
Is there a middle way between relying on so-called standardised tests and one's own gut instinct?
It's the middle way I seek: a way that gives another the benefit of doubt simply because I know what a great source of creativity so-called madness can be.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 53

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 4:44:26 PM

RaynaSub

Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

Simply Michael, I totally disagree, some of the most insane criminal's in history, gave NO visible indication
of what they were up to, according to those that worked with them, neighbors, family and friends.

The list is very long, indeed.
We could start with Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy.
Often, these people were thought to be "very nice" and "very normal".

< Message edited by RaynaSub -- 5/26/2008 4:45:24 PM >

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 54

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 4:52:36 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

The best way to spot nutcases is to give them time to show you. Some nutcases make it easier than others to spot them. Give them enough time and most will out themselves. So discrimate away, it is why crazy fucks always have drama swirling around them and grouned self aware people don't.

Perhaps it is because I had a mother who was a schizopkrenic and an alcoholic, perhaps it is because I have a very dear sister who is diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, perhaps it is because when I am not free to be creative my own thoughts become disordered, I don't know, but I have a deep vein of compassion for the so-called mad.
I do not think it is possible for anyone with depression; obsessive compulsive thoughts/behaviours; delusions; halucinations; multiple personalities that comoete against each other; those whose only respite is to drown out the pain or to rely upon intense self-medication as an attempt to get themselves free of theior own personal hell; ssimply to fround themselves.
For these any simple remedy like grounding themselves isn't an option. And my ability to ground myself and to be self-aware, well I never take this for granted.
But you know I love drama. That's not the decider of whether I am sane or not either.
But yes....it's a question of time, for us all possibly. Perhaps we all grow less tolerant as we grow older?
But those who were the most dangerous? We have this country's most sustained serial killer, who was a doctor, trusted for a lengthy career as a well respected pgysician within his community. We had a man who for many years killed, cut up and buried his victims underneath his house, His own wife never suspected.
Now we also have the Austrian Syndrome. (I refer to:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article3839427.ece
rather than a specific type of meningitis).
I will concede only this point with regard to time: at least when I have seen those with alzheimers they eventually become blissfully unaware of their own illness.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/26/2008 5:12:39 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 55

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 4:56:10 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12
People lie about fatal , catchable diseases all the time -

<snipped by camille for focus on my question>
I feel that this is a subjective judgment rather than a fact. I do not share your view on HIV/AIDS.

Prinsexx could you explain the above comments to me please?How is 'People lie about fatal, catchable diseases all the time' subjective?What is your view on HIV/AIDS that is so different from others or mainstream views?Thanks.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 56

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 5:02:21 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12
People lie about fatal , catchable diseases all the time -

<snipped by camille for focus on my question>
I feel that this is a subjective judgment rather than a fact. I do not share your view on HIV/AIDS.

Prinsexx could you explain the above comments to me please?How is 'People lie about fatal, catchable diseases all the time' subjective?What is your view on HIV/AIDS that is so different from others or mainstream views?Thanks.

Dear camille:
'all of the time' is a subjective statement.
I believe my attitude to HIV differs from the mainstream. of course I am as afraid as anyone else in the face of non-disclosure and especially critical of being lied to. But HIV per se does not frighten me. If I loved someone enough it would certainly not deter me from a relationshiop with them.
I am also a mother. I also have a strong in-built instinct to protect them.
But most of what the mainstream fears, I believe, is dertermined by media influence and public opinion.
I could be wrong (in the face of public opinion).

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/26/2008 5:03:12 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 57

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 5:28:53 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RaynaSub

Simply Michael, I totally disagree, some of the most insane criminal's in history, gave NO visible indication
of what they were up to, according to those that worked with them, neighbors, family and friends.

The list is very long, indeed.
We could start with Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy.
Often, these people were thought to be "very nice" and "very normal".

Fooling co-workes is easy, how many here are perverts and yet none of their co-workers know? However, we are talking about intimate lovers, both of those people picked off loners. To me, someone with no friends is a huge red flag and and I go slowly and rarely do such people make it into my circle of intimate friends.

As for Dahlmer appearing normal...

quote:

In the early morning hours of May 30, 1991, 14-year-old Konerak Sinthasomphone (the younger brother of the boy whom Dahmer had molested) was discovered on the street, wandering nude and under heavy influence of drugs and bleeding from his rectum. Reports of the boy's injuries varied. Dahmer told police that Sinthasomphone was his 19-year-old boyfriend, and that they had an argument while drinking. Against the teenager's protests, police turned him over to Dahmer. They later reported smelling a strange scent but did not investigate it. It was later found to be bodies in the back of his room. Later that night, Dahmer killed and dismembered Sinthasomphone, keeping his skull as a souvenir.
John Balcerzak and Joseph Gabrish, the two police officers who returned Sinthasomphone to Dahmer, were fired from the Milwaukee Police Department after their actions were widely publicized, including an audiotape of the officers making homophobic statements to their dispatcher and cracking jokes about having reunited the "lovers". The two officers appealed their termination and were reinstated with back pay. They were named officers of the year by the police union. Balcerzak would go on to be elected president of the Milwaukee Police Association in May 2005.[2][3]

(in reply to RaynaSub)

Post #: 58

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 5:34:34 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I hate myself for supporting you in your quest to make every post about you but here goes...

quote:

But you know I love drama. That's not the decider of whether I am sane or not either.
But yes....it's a question of time, for us all possibly. Perhaps we all grow less tolerant as we grow older?

Why on earth should I be tolerant of someone who welcomes and embraces drama? My life is relatively drama free, I like it that way and so when I discover someone refuses to deal with the causes of their drama, I reject them till they do. If someone breaks down I don't mind helping but if they always break down because they refuse to get a job and fix their car, I am going to draw a line at some point and refuse to help. I am not Captain Save'aHo, nor am I in charge of saving the world.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 5/26/2008 5:35:37 PM >

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 59

RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 5:40:02 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Fooling co-workes is easy, how many here are perverts and yet none of their co-workers know? However, we are talking about intimate lovers, both of those people picked off loners.

Michael; wake-up please......
Frederick West
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_West

Harold Shipman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Shipman

Josef Fritzl

http://www .timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article3839427.ece

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/26/2008 5:42:19 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind and in good health ?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109