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RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 5:51:57 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		You have to think of it like a job interview - and go with your gut.  Take questions, but also be prepared to go with the flow.  That way if somethings weird does come up, then you can go off and probe further.  Some people fly under the radar.....

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Profile   Post #: 61
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 5:57:57 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		I have been thinking about this question. The truth is, according to any psychiatric test almost all of us in this group would take ... we are off our rocker. We like to whip or be whipped. Some like to have needles stuck in them, spankings, breathe play, suspension, bondage, slavery, submission, da da, da Dee, da da, da Dee ... come one, we are not normal. So does that mean that if someone passed a sanity test, they wouldn't fit in? Or does it mean they were trained to pass them (yep .. psychiatric testing is strange at times). We don't fit the norm of normal.

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Profile   Post #: 62
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 6:39:08 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12
People lie about fatal , catchable diseases all the time -
<snipped by camille for focus on my question>
I feel that this is a  subjective judgment rather than a fact. I do not share your view on HIV/AIDS. 
 Prinsexx could you explain the above comments to me please?How is 'People lie about fatal, catchable diseases all the time' subjective?What is your view on HIV/AIDS that is so different from others or mainstream views?Thanks.

Dear camille:
'all of the time' is a subjective statement.
I believe my attitude to HIV differs from the mainstream. of course I am as afraid as anyone else in the face of non-disclosure and especially critical of being lied to. But HIV per se does not frighten me. If I loved someone enough it would certainly not deter me from a relationshiop with them.
I am also a mother. I also have a strong in-built instinct to protect them.
But most of what the mainstream fears, I believe, is dertermined by media influence and public opinion.
I could be wrong (in the face of public opinion).



Ok - so what do you perceive that the mainstream fears about AIDS? Are you saying that you fear the disease but not the person - and how does that make you so much different from everyone else?  I spent 4 years playing in a local theater where about 50% of the men were gay, and a few of them HIV positive. And guess what ,  most everyone there didn't wear gloves when touching them. We hugged and kissed everyone and treated all as people first.
Does that mean i would have unprotected intercourse with someone with AIDS? - hell, no - i'm not crazy! I very probably wouldn't have intercourse with them at all, but that wouldn't deter me from having a relationship with someone with AIDS. We would have to find other ways to satisfy each other.

So what do you call a relationship? - unprotected intercourse ? intercourse with a condom? french kissing?- I find your posts to this thread to be a bit condescending and a bit disjointed. Do enlighten me.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/26/2008 7:17:17 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael


Fooling co-workes is easy, how many here are perverts and yet none of their co-workers know?  However, we are talking about intimate lovers, both of those people picked off loners. 

Michael; wake-up please......
Frederick West
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_West  

Harold Shipman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Shipman  


Josef Fritzl

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article3839427.ece


It is fucking terrifying that in a discussion about relationships and whether or not one can tell if someone is nuts that you would list these people as suitable cases for relationships.    Not only that, in all of these, there WERE signs that the people were fucking batshit crazy, they were just ignored...sound familiar?

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/27/2008 12:20:47 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael


Fooling co-workes is easy, how many here are perverts and yet none of their co-workers know?  However, we are talking about intimate lovers, both of those people picked off loners. 

Michael; wake-up please......
Frederick West
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_West  

Harold Shipman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Shipman  


Josef Fritzl

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article3839427.ece


It is fucking terrifying that in a discussion about relationships and whether or not one can tell if someone is nuts that you would list these people as suitable cases for relationships.    Not only that, in all of these, there WERE signs that the people were fucking batshit crazy, they were just ignored...sound familiar?

Are we speaking the same language Michael? I begin to wonder as you consistently so mis-read me. I am not saying I list these people as those suitable for relationships. I list these people to refute a point you made earlier. YOUR point was nut cases OUT THEMSELVES.
My point is merely that I do not agree with what you said. The cases I listed here merely point to the fact that the most severely disturbed, (some of which I have listed, and I use British and European examples) had a way of holding down intimate relationships with families and loved ones and other members of thir communities such that they fooled everyone for many many years. No drama in their lives: to all intents and purposes they were loving partners .................

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/27/2008 12:32:39 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/27/2008 12:26:08 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12
People lie about fatal , catchable diseases all the time -
<snipped by camille for focus on my question>
I feel that this is a  subjective judgment rather than a fact. I do not share your view on HIV/AIDS. 
 Prinsexx could you explain the above comments to me please?How is 'People lie about fatal, catchable diseases all the time' subjective?What is your view on HIV/AIDS that is so different from others or mainstream views?Thanks.

Dear camille:
'all of the time' is a subjective statement.
I believe my attitude to HIV differs from the mainstream. of course I am as afraid as anyone else in the face of non-disclosure and especially critical of being lied to. But HIV per se does not frighten me. If I loved someone enough it would certainly not deter me from a relationshiop with them.
I am also a mother. I also have a strong in-built instinct to protect them.
But most of what the mainstream fears, I believe, is dertermined by media influence and public opinion.
I could be wrong (in the face of public opinion).



Ok - so what do you perceive that the mainstream fears about AIDS? Are you saying that you fear the disease but not the person - and how does that make you so much different from everyone else?  I spent 4 years playing in a local theater where about 50% of the men were gay, and a few of them HIV positive. And guess what ,  most everyone there didn't wear gloves when touching them. We hugged and kissed everyone and treated all as people first.
Does that mean i would have unprotected intercourse with someone with AIDS? - hell, no - i'm not crazy! I very probably wouldn't have intercourse with them at all, but that wouldn't deter me from having a relationship with someone with AIDS. We would have to find other ways to satisfy each other.

So what do you call a relationship? - unprotected intercourse ? intercourse with a condom? french kissing?- I find your posts to this thread to be a bit condescending and a bit disjointed. Do enlighten me.


~Does that mean i would have unprotected intercourse with someone with AIDS? - hell, no - i'm not crazy! I very probably wouldn't have intercourse with them at all, but that wouldn't deter me from having a relationship with someone with AIDS. We would have to find other ways to satisfy each other.~
I absolutely agree with you word for word here. I do not think we are in opposition. Love does noy equate (and nor does a relatiobship), neither equate with sexual intercourse, either rotected or unprotedted.
But i t6hink the fact that you hugged and kissed and worked with sufferers is not mainstream either and I salute your attitude manifold.


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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/27/2008 12:27:56 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

I have been thinking about this question. The truth is, according to any psychiatric test almost all of us in this group would take ... we are off our rocker. We like to whip or be whipped. Some like to have needles stuck in them, spankings, breathe play, suspension, bondage, slavery, submission, da da, da Dee, da da, da Dee ... come one, we are not normal. So does that mean that if someone passed a sanity test, they wouldn't fit in? Or does it mean they were trained to pass them (yep .. psychiatric testing is strange at times). We don't fit the norm of normal.

That's another point I am making.
I at least, am entirely skewed. Am I alone in this?


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/27/2008 3:50:08 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		After reading the entire thread...

.. and talking to myself for several hours and counting my toes repeatedly..

.. it's obvious. You're all mad. Everyone. Even me. I'm mad too.

I just disguise it. And besides, the existence of this website proves it.

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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/27/2008 3:54:21 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If you aren't capable of deciding for yourself whether or not there are any glaring red flags, then you shouldn't be getting into a relationship. If there aren't any, and there is sufficient chemistry, then you take the huge step of going on from coffee to a lunch date. Any red flag there? Then don't go on.

There are no guarantees in life. You might be with someone ten years and then have them develop mental illness. Then what?

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Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/27/2008 4:13:19 AM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		steviemichael, you have remained silent for a good part of your own thread, and i can sort of understand why.

That said, the likes of me asked what you might have thought were daft questions, when in fact they were quite serious, and i would be interested in your responses.


(in reply to steviemichael)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/27/2008 6:59:02 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Yes, I do think that's unreasonable and is no substitute for actually taking the time to get to know someone. The information in birth certificates and passports can lead to identity theft. Some medical records, though, especially if you are going to engage in fluid exchange may be a good idea as long as you are aware they are still not a guarentee that someone is disease (STD, HIV, Hep C etc.) free.

Sounds like someone who wants to take short cuts rather than put in the time and energy to actually get to know a person rather than life-support for kink.

Celeste


My thoughts exactly.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 71
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/27/2008 11:42:26 PM   
IXian


Posts: 29
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I would like to point out a falacity in some arguments I've read up til now.
The existence of rare extreme cases cannot be used as a basis for a rational choice because they have little or no bearing on the
general stategies people should use when meeting new partners.
A general stragegy is supposed to help create guidelines and rules-of-thumb that covers most of the situations and how to deal with a majority of different people. Pointing out people like Josef Fritzl can only serve to establish the extreme endpoints. Just as mentioning Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi would only point out the other extreme end of the spectrum.
Seriously, were talking about the real-life hannibal Lectors. Still the reality is that most of us won't ever meet them and secondly that if we did we wouldn't be able to see them for what they were regardless of how many "tests" we'd throw a them.
Remember, we were discussing how to gauge the health and mind of another person. Most of the people you and I will ever meet during our life will be fairly average, even if they have a couple of extreme personality traits. (Seriously, Domination/submission is a extreme trait.)

So, the only thing of interest to discuss are the average nutties.. right?

IXian.

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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/28/2008 1:44:35 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		stevie

no i think you must protect you most of all. i heard of many subs and slave who were hurt and
and lie to but going for a passport is to far you asking for something the gov. only ask for and if you traveling yes then do it but i do not know ow you will get all of these thing, but there is a site that you can go to and check out the person you wish to see. it is private and and this person will not ever know. you being smart never jump into anything you not sure of . i wish you luck you may email me and i will send you the site that you can find everything about this person .

best of luck mons

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/28/2008 4:44:24 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Actually, I'm curious if the op has ever had a disease or known anyone with a chronic illness. Does he think this people ought to be quarantined? And what happens if he develops a chronic illness? By his own standards, his future partner ought to kick him out the moment he isn't healthy any longer.

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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: How do you find out?if a person is of sound mind an... - 5/28/2008 4:52:19 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

The question inplys one should do a background check ask persmission for medcial  records having acess to personal data  brith cert  and even a passport etc. do you think that is unreasonable ?
Since you would also would be  prepared to allow the person concern access.
 I think much of the thread strayed from the OP's questions. Of course it is easy to read into a short post that is never returned to heh.

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Profile   Post #: 75
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