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Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 4:34:29 PM   
littledickiesub


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/4/2008
Status: offline 		    I'm curious to learn why Mistresses don't reply to messages.  I can understand if someone writes and says something stupid like "hey ur hott can i be ur sub??" they would not want to reply but all of my messages are always significant in length, well thought out, well written, and very respectful.  I've only gotten replies to a couple.  It's a terrible feeling to log into collarme and see there's no new messages but then to look in my sent folder and see that the messages I sent are read.  I'm sure many of the women on here are quite busy but a simple "Hey, got your message but sorry I'm not interested." would be adequate.  Do Mistresses think if they send a reply like that then I'll reply trying to plead my case, just annoying them further or is there some other reason?  Any input would be appreciated.  Thanks.

-dickie
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 4:42:36 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Well.... if I had a page full of emails to answer, and one of them was from a contact named "RankSmellyTwat" I wouldn't make that the first one I wrote back to.

Your mileage may vary, Richard.



_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to littledickiesub)
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RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 4:47:28 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		um...nono..that would be to easy...ill refrain....and just... LOL omg..

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 4:48:14 PM   
littledickiesub


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/4/2008
Status: offline 		Hahaha...  Good point.  Although my name has nothing to do with my.. dickie.. being little.  I can see how it may be interpreted as such though!  

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 4:50:28 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

nothing to do with my.. dickie.. being little


sure it doesnt...


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to littledickiesub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 4:51:25 PM   
MadameDeSoir


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/13/2008
Status: offline 		In my experience for a combination of two simple reasons:

  • Because we don't have to.
  • Because we don't feel like it.

In my case, unless the sub is completely out of line anyway, it usually isn't even personal, just my mood of the moment...

...and if you want to submit as a way of life...

...get used to it...

Mme De Soir

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 5:24:39 PM   
MISTRESSKUMA


Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDeSoir

In my experience for a combination of two simple reasons:

  • Because we don't have to.
  • Because we don't feel like it.

In my case, unless the sub is completely out of line anyway, it usually isn't even personal, just my mood of the moment...

...and if you want to submit as a way of life...

...get used to it...

Mme De Soir


what she said!!!!!!! all of it.

(in reply to MadameDeSoir)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 6:07:19 PM   
khem


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		Without knowing what you're saying during your emails it's probably a matter of either:

1) she's not looking and has probably stated that in her profile
2) your name made her cringe

How attached are you to that name?

(in reply to MISTRESSKUMA)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 6:15:48 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Sorry, I'm in agreement about your nickie dickie. It sounds like a sub who wants humiliation about his tiny penis. And yes, that's a common kink.

I personally answer all emails that are polite and that the sub has put effort into (form letters, txt speak and rude emails aren't responded to), so I don't know why some Mistresses don't respond. I'd say it is simply lack of time on the part of many ladies. Please remember, a Mistress is a human being with all the responsibilities of living, kids, work, etc.

Try not to take it to heart as actual rejection of you as a person and keep trying. As I always tell my kids, if someone doesn't come along, it's just not time for them to be here yet, but they are on their way!!

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to khem)
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RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 7:07:56 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Have patience and don't get your knickers in a knot about the ones who ignore your efforts. We all go through this, so take what happens here with a grain of salt.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to littledickiesub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 7:35:32 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		The following is one of my journal entries, which you might find helpful in answering your question (sorry about all the white space, I couldn't get rid of it):






A word to the wise:  If you aren't prepared to wait several days, or even weeks, for a response, it's probably best that you not write at all.  There's no point to pitching a hissy fit by email because I haven't responded straight away.The amount of email I get during a day typically outnumbers the amount that I have time to return.  Please use your head: dominant women are not just sitting at the computer all day looking for a sub.  We have obligations to our friends and family, things to do, jobs to go to, and, gasp! we might just want to sit down and have some "alone time."

(in reply to littledickiesub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 7:38:14 PM   
MissSepphora1


Posts: 669
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		I have made it very clear I'm not looking for online or long distance.
Anyone who messages me from somewhere like Oregon should be prepared to get no response.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 7:43:33 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Whats that old saying...*what wont kill you will make you....stronger*
 
Get used to it =L=
 
Lifes not always...fair.

(in reply to littledickiesub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 7:46:02 PM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		My mail comes in fits and starts -- sometimes I get only one or two messages a day, other times its 20-30. I try to respond to it all, but sometimes an email slips through the cracks. It happens.

But ...if you write people several times a day and never get a response, you need to take a long hard look at what you are sending. I will say that sometimes I get letters that are boring and cliche (or even worse, cut and paste jobs), and I am less likely to feel bad if that's the one I don't manage to answer.

I would guess that you either aren't sending anything compelling enough to solicit a response, or you aren't following instructions (not sending a picture, not answering specific questions, etc.)

(in reply to littledickiesub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/2/2008 8:36:35 PM   
pinnipedster


Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		I generally assume if I don't get an answer, she's not interested, and is probably flooded with email or too busy in other aspects of life.  I don't mind that so much.

What has perplexed me, at least in terms of how to deal with it, is that I've had two or three send me a reply saying there is at least some interest in talking further, but she is too busy right now, or about to go out of town and offline for a while.  So I send back a brief reply saying that I understand (my own life has not been entirely placid lately) and hope to hear from her when she does have time.  Then....nothing, even though I can see from her profile that she has been online several times since.  I don't want to be pushy, but I don't want to be forgotten, either (or for her to assume that I must have found someone else).  Is sending a gentle "I'm still out here and interested" message called for eventually?  How long should one wait?  I know these are kind of indeterminate questions, but it is a bit of a puzzler.  Where is the line between "too pushy" and "non persistent enough"?

What I have done is usually waited at least a few weeks, then sent one short message to the above effect -- I'm still interested, and hope she will write when she finds time -- and then stop.  At that point she will either get in touch or she won't, on her own schedule. 

(in reply to LaMistressa)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/3/2008 3:57:50 AM   
MsMillgrove


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		I'm new to collarme. I answered every one of the 60 or so who responded to my profile (no photo/my real age) in the first 4-5 days of joining site. None were rude or stupid. Each person seemed to do the best they could. 
However, I will probably try to figure out how to invis my profile soon because I can't keep up with the mail and now a few of the first responders are beginning to write again as tho they'd never sent that first letter that was politely rejected. They actually don't recall having written already.
I have the sense that quite a few don't study the profiles carefully and chose wisely before they write. And long introductory letters from strangers place a burden on the recipient. I think the phrase is "too much information".
Equally wasted are the basic ones that only repeat the profile.  "I am 6t tall, blue eyes. good physical condition..."   and nothing else.  I must have asked 25 people to write back because they didn't say anything I couldn't see on their profiles.  Most didn't have the sense to ask me a thing about me.  Others sent long lists of their likes/desires/needs inspite of the fact that I noted my biggest turn off was "it's all about me."
I find it a bit forward for a sub to send chat request, friendship offer, yahoo messenger names, their phone numbers or email addresses without my request, when I know so little of them I wouldn't even claim them as an acquaintance.
I have no idea what my experience would have been if I'd included a photo and was not a senior--it must be murder to cope with the mail if you are a younger, beautiful domme.
Everyone who tries to connect through this site has my sympathy and best wishes.  It's just not easy for any of us.
Cheers, Ms. Millgrove

(in reply to pinnipedster)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/3/2008 4:07:28 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		MsMillgrove, delete and block are your best friends. Make good use of them!! The buttons are right there at the bottom of the email box. Anyone rude, repeat emailers, those who won't take no for an answer, etc., just block and delete and they will never bug you again. If they send a laundry list of "I want ya to use a strap on on me Miss" type emails, you can either respond and let them have it with both barrels, OR save yourself the aggravation and delete and block.

Everyone new, dom or sub, get's heaps of mail, the sharks can smell fresh meat and will all dive in to get first bite. It doesn't last long, but the dickheads are, sadly, here to stay.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to MsMillgrove)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/3/2008 4:13:58 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Littledickie, here are a few things for you to consider:

Your ID, as others have suggested, does give the impression you are referring to 'the little fella'. Women are still blinded by this myth that bigger is better, or that it matters at all, so even mentioning anything little at all in your ID maybe offputting to some.

I, for one, am terrible at replying to emails. I'm bloody useless and likely have lost a few of those I have exchanged emails with which had the potential of becoming real life friends as a result simply b/c I will read an email, think I will answer it later on only for my personal/professional lives to take over and before I know it that email is hidden beneath several others. I then lose track of who I have/haven't replied to so when I empty out emails invariably some of those get deleted too. I should have them sent to my personal email, I'll likely look into how to do that.

While it is an act of courtesy to reply to an email, people are under no obligation to do so and if they haven't bothered replying to your initial email then that lets you know something invaluable, does it not?

There are some that also believe their own hype and adopt the attitude, 'if you're fortunate, I'll reply' - afterall, many join sites such as this to indulge their fantasies and I see this attitude fitting in with this. Again, if they don't reply, you've still learned something about them - and move on.

You've received some replies, as you have indicated, and I'm quite sure that you will likely receive more, maybe not to your liking, but still.

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to MsMillgrove)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/3/2008 4:16:30 AM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		The biggest reason I don't reply is:  The writer has said something insipid and generic and I can't differentiate what they have said from the other 15 e-mails surrounding it.  I have taken the time to write a pretty unique and compelling profile.  Certainly it is not too much to expect unique and compelling messages.  Plus, CM is not as robust as other services in terms of sorting and archiving messages.  If you said something interesting 4 days ago, its probably 8 pages buried.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why don't Mistresses reply? - 6/3/2008 4:51:02 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		For the same reason that male submissives don't reply - they aren't interested, and don't feel the need to actually say so.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to Racquelle)
Profile   Post #: 20
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