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RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 9:32:05 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		life's too damn short to try to please everyone, all the time...and it is filled with tough choices.
 
given your situation, this slave would have to make a tough choice---either get out of the relationship or find another job that doesn't fill her with fear regarding the way her intimate relationship functions.

(in reply to VulgarIntellects)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 9:37:26 AM   
Strongmindbody


Posts: 264
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Without whys and wherefores of why she is afraid without cause or with... we cannot help.


After your latest responses, I came to the same conclusion...

quote:

Has anyone discovered that after someone learns that they are a sub that they treat them differently?


Oh, yeah, I've seen that happen! I've even seen it happen several times amongst folks in this little "community" of ours...


(in reply to VulgarIntellects)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 9:45:04 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VulgarIntellects

My concern is that my girl's fear of discovery often stops her in her tracks where other activities are concerned.


You keep saying this but what does it mean?  Does it mean she won't leave the house? Does it mean she won't leave the house in a miniskirt that barely covers her naked ass?  Does it mean she won't wear a halter top because of the whip marks?  Does it mean she won't let you write "slut" on her forehead with a permanent marker??

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to VulgarIntellects)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 9:48:51 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		She has come to accept who she is.

From what you write, she is a private person who enjoys submitting to her partner, but not to the world at large. And apparently she also enjoys humiliation viewing the way you write about her.

It's you who cannot accept who she is. She's drawn her boundaries quite clearly, she is not willing to be outed. You appear unwilling to accept her boundaries. And that is your problem and your issues, not hers.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 9:49:42 AM   
JillSpade


Posts: 19
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

She has come to accept who she is.

From what you write, she is a private person who enjoys submitting to her partner, but not to the world at large. And apparently she also enjoys humiliation viewing the way you write about her.

It's you who cannot accept who she is. She's drawn her boundaries quite clearly, she is not willing to be outed. You appear unwilling to accept her boundaries. And that is your problem and your issues, not hers.

This was excellent.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 9:50:08 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Cali:

Please come to Kentucky.
I'll make cookies!!!


_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 9:53:42 AM   
Strongmindbody


Posts: 264
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline 		Why does everyone on this board keep talking about cookies?!?

/* wanders off to kitchen to make his own damned cookies, muttering */

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 9:57:44 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Cookies are yummy SMB!

(little known secret, you can catch more submissives with cookies than you can with floggings)

well...sometimes...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Strongmindbody)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 10:09:29 AM   
Strongmindbody


Posts: 264
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline 		/* erf... not enough ^(*% butter. brb. gotta go to the store. hmph

Sorry, total derail. But right now, I got needs...

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 10:24:48 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VulgarIntellects

quote:

I cant give advice on how to make someone more comfortable with something when I dont know the source of the discomfort.


Good point.

I'll have to talk this over with her to see how much she feels comfortable divulging.


Vulgar Intellects (male half)


you mean you don't know the source of her fear and your posting about it?  
           

stick a fork in me, i'm done.
    

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to VulgarIntellects)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 10:31:03 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Cali what if the person uses the marker to write slut while looking in the mirror?  blushes was that chocolatre chip cookies?

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 10:34:43 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Cali what if the person uses the marker to write slut while looking in the mirror? 


Total derail, but a few years ago the police in my town arrested a woman who said she was the victim of a hate crime (can't remember if it was simple assault or if she claimed rape).  She stated the perpetrators wrote a racial slur on her forehead.  The cops arrested her because it was written backwards... she did it herself in the mirror.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 10:35:39 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Now Raymond, what self-respecting slut is going to walk around with tuls written in bright pink sharpie? Erm...I was just guessing about the bright pink sharpie part!

And of course they're chocolate chip!

I posted a recipe here a while back...absolutely the best!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 10:40:02 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		dang it blushy, you had to bring up that recipe didn't you?  geesh, i'm gonna go look at some porn to get my mind off of damned cookies.

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 10:50:15 AM   
Strongmindbody


Posts: 264
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

geesh, i'm gonna go look at some porn to get my mind off of damned cookies.


Does that work? Thank god the cookies are going in the oven now...

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 10:52:23 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		It does seem to me that you are trying to force her to live in ways she is clearly not going to be able to deal with.
 
 Are you trying to make her leave you?
 
 Or will you get the stones to leave her be, and get over your own ego?
 
 Pick one-you cannot have your cake and eat it too.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to VulgarIntellects)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 10:52:52 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		no it probably doesn't work...i'll most likely just end up horny and still wanting cookies....

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to Strongmindbody)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 11:00:01 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Leatherist where did that you can't have your cake and eat it to come from. If I make a German chocolate cake Im sure as hell going to eat it also.

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 11:26:18 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Now Raymond, what self-respecting slut is going to walk around with tuls written in bright pink sharpie? Erm...I was just guessing about the bright pink sharpie part!

And of course they're chocolate chip!

I posted a recipe here a while back...absolutely the best!



Get it right Christina - his name is Mervyn (as in King) and he's Governor of the Bank of England, so maybe adding "sir" would be good. 

(I'm really sorry about this Mr King - she's a very, very good girl at heart, so please forgive her).

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Outing a submissive - 6/5/2008 11:42:54 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Cookies are yummy SMB!

(little known secret, you can catch more submissives with cookies than you can with floggings)

well...sometimes...


Perfect Dominant offers Flogging and cookies *S*  One cookie for every 10 lashings?? *grins*  

In regards to the OP. having read everything every one has said and what the OP has said I have nothing to add. If someone has a "debilitating fear" they need to seek professional help. 100 hacks online can not fix something like that.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 60
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