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Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 4:29:03 PM   
UnspeakableAxe


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		I preface this question with the fact that I don't mean to offend any of the sincere dominant women on this site.

While I wish collarme were the best place to meet dominant women, experience has shown otherwise.
I could go on and on about how the ratio of subs to Dommes makes it next to impossible to cut through all of the emails that dominant women get. If I spend hours composing sincere emails, it's rare that I get a reply unless its from a guy posing as a woman or from a ProDomme. That begs the question. If a BDSM focused dating site isn't the best place to meet dominant women my age (I'm 33), what is the best place?

Going to local events isn't any better since most women who do go to events will attend with a date. Are vanilla dating sites the way to go?

Please don't say munches, the quality of people that show up at most munches are.....well....yeah.

Any thoughts or advice would be very helpful.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 4:59:26 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline


You've been here all of six months and you're complaining?  My boy was here for over a year before he found a Domme who was at all close to what he was looking for and it didn't work.  Then he met me and we're just friends and play partners.  I'm not his forever Mistress.  He's been here since early 2005.
 
Frankly, you're in FREAKIN' NYC!!!  If you can't find a Domme locally, you're not trying.  If you're determined, you can find one here.  It really is a matter of patience.  Grow some.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 5:05:27 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		It must be so nice to be superior to all those people at munches.

You notice I said ALL.  If you are going to an event to meet a person, what does it matter who the rest of the people there are.  I know some excellent dominants who go to munches and classes, both as participants and teachers, but I suspect your attitude would turn them right off.  Of course, if that didn't do it, your nom de scene is likely to do so.

Instead of just "going" to a local event, why don't you volunteer to help.  That, for better or worse, will get you known to a lot more people than just arriving and standing around. 

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 5:27:01 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I have a feeling that it's not the places that you are looking in that are the problem.  From your attitude in your post here, and the attitude that I percieved in what little of your profile I read (got annoyed and couldn't read further), I would be willing to wager that your problem is exactly that ... YOUR problem (and just in case you're missing my point, your problem is your attitude).

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Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 5:28:26 PM   
pollux


Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline 		Welcome to CollarMe!






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Oppressed by massive structural violence.

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 5:31:02 PM   
jonathan


Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan




You've been here all of six months and you're complaining? My boy was here for over a year before he found a Domme who was at all close to what he was looking for and it didn't work. Then he met me and we're just friends and play partners. I'm not his forever Mistress. He's been here since early 2005.

Frankly, you're in FREAKIN' NYC!!! If you can't find a Domme locally, you're not trying. If you're determined, you can find one here. It really is a matter of patience. Grow some.


Uh, yeah, as a migrant from NYC, i know, if you can't get it done in the metro area, you got issues. Don't look at in terms of months, it's going to be in terms of years. YES, go to the munches, be social, be yourself, do you think any Domme worth Her salt is going to give a damn if you can't behave well in public?!


i have some more news for you, of the major BDSM dating sites, this is the best one. Post something to the boards that does not qualify as a whine. ya just might get a hit.

where's that groaner icon?


_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 5:33:22 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		It beats me why you can't find anyone, you have such a humble, yet sunny, nature.

Let's hope that all those people who are not good enough for you read this thread.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to pollux)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 5:33:41 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Well I think the SN is an REM reference....?

Anyway.  Good luck, dude! 

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to jonathan)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 5:39:44 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Here's a line from your profile.  It is near the beginning.

No seriously, you really need to get your mind out of the gutter for a moment and realize that, while this is a part of who I am, I'm not some one dimensional person who doesn't have a heart, soul or feelings.

I can't imagine any woman responding to you after reading that.  You immediately tell her that she needs to elevate herself above her current sex-crazed state, to be worthy of domming the glorious You.

Do you see how that might put someone off?


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 7:21:03 PM   
DreamyLadySnow


Posts: 359
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline 		I go to munches, so apparently you're not interested in me..lol. I've met many amazing people at munches, who've turned into wonderful friends. But I guess I wouldn't wish that on you.
Good luck to you.

LS

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 7:27:15 PM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		Blood in the water. Welcome to CM, chum!

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 7:41:02 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Well... I would be nice and speak to the dear man... but that would probably make me look like a male faker or a Pro.

(Not that there is anything wrong with Pro Dommes)


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to TermsConditions)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 7:49:57 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		After reading his profile, I can tell you that his charming, upbeat attitude reeled me right in, particularly those journal posts.  Of course, I'm not his age, so I'll have to go cry in my bubble bath for the rest of the evening.

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 7:54:11 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Dear Poster , in essence your sayin there are no Female Dominants , none at munches ? none at events ? None at paddles ? with TeS Fest coming up i am sure there shall be None around there either ?!?You have been here a Very short time in BDSM dog years only a blink or two  and done 3 postings one being this  gem yet your still not getting that instaDomme in which you seek ..If you exclaim to the universe the negative and the  can not s that is what it shall grant you .Try saying i shall find a Great Domme ..then make those steps to make it happen .Negative begets more of the same .
If your not willing to put in the YEARS  your going to be in for a long  pissed off  path .

(in reply to TermsConditions)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 8:01:23 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Try alternative, edgy, fetishy (but not outright labeled "S&M") clubs.  Lots of kinky or open minded women in their 20s go there to dance and have a nice time.  Note: If it's on a Friday or Saturday night, it's not the right club.  It's generally on an off-night and frequented by people who are seriously into the music. In the 90s and early parts of 2000 they were mostly industrial dance clubs.

Akasha


_____________________________

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 8:09:03 PM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		I'm toward the bottom of a Merlot and even squinting you still don't look like a male poser to me... I think its the gorgeous ass and flowing red hair.  
 
This bears further study and a refill!  

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 8:14:36 PM   
UnspeakableAxe


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your replies.

I should say that I have been a member of collarme for more than 5 years. My current profile is only a few months old.

I should also say that perhaps my initial post may have come across as more.. harsh...than I intended. When I mentioned the quality of many of the people at the munches I've attended I should have said "dating quality". I have met some great people at munches and made some close friends but few I am attracted to. I'm not saying they are unattractive, only that I'm not attracted to them.

I'm not alone in this opinion. Most of my female friends stay away from events and munches for the exact same reason. Most women in the lifestyle will never go to a minch or an event.

Speaking of TES. If you go to the dominant women/submissive men's group you will see 20 men and 2 women at the average meetup. Again, lovely people to be friends with but I'm looking for someone to date.

I have met many amazing women by going to events and munches, but few that were my type.

When a woman complains about the lack of quality men in the lifestyle she is usually sympathized with. When I turn someone down because I'm not attracted to them physically I'm seen as someone who is too picky. So, because I'm submissive I should be willing to submit to any woman who is attracted to me? I have no shortage of offers to play and date, though there is a shortage of women who I'm attracted to who offer.

Yes, it is NYC but if you ask almost anyone in their 20s and 30s, they'll have some choice words about the scene here. Sure its better than most, but hardly what one would hope.

I can tell I struck a nerve in my question. As I said, I don't wish to offend the many sincere dominant women on here.

Perhaps I am too picky or unrealistic.



(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 8:16:03 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		FR

In your profile you say that you are tall, attractive, smart, funny.

So erase your journal, rewrite your narrative, and be
tall
attractive
smart
funny

(you have outspoken covered)

Many people here will be able to resonate with your jadedness and your feeling of longing, but ragging about it at length won't get you what you want.

Mss

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to TermsConditions)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 8:28:43 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		OP, if you had written your first post as well as your second, I don't think you would have got the responses that you did. The first post came across as insulting and rude, hence the answers you got in the same vein. You didn't strike a nerve, you basically said anyone who goes to munches were not much good. Your second post was much more friendly and explanatory.

No one is saying that you should just be a sub to any Mistress. They were saying don't close any doors unless you have finished looking.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/6/2008 8:37:18 PM   
UnspeakableAxe


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		Miss Magnolia,

My initial post did say most munches, not all. I can see how that would be interpreted as a slam on all people who go to munches. That was not my intent.

Again, my initial question remains.

A majority of the dominant women in the world will never log onto collarme nor will they ever go to an event.

I know dominant women who will never do any of these things because they have learned from experience that most vanilla men will submit to them anyway. Events like TESFest are fine for socializing and spending time with friends, though (having gone to blackrose, TESFest, MAST, FloatingWorld and countless others) most single women will not go to an event like these unless they have a date.

Thoughts?

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 20
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