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RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 8:29:50 AM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

To the OP only:

"We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are." --Anais Nin.

I agree wholeheartedly with the people who say that a man who could not find a domme in New York (much less a site the size of Collarme!) probably also couldn't find a priest in Rome or a whore in Bangkok. The problem is not with everyone else, OP. The problem is with you.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 61

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 8:54:43 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UnspeakableAxe

Most of my female friends stay away from events and munches for the exact same reason. Most women in the lifestyle will never go to a minch or an event.

If you go to the dominant women/submissive men's group you will see 20 men and 2 women at the average meetup.

I have met many amazing women by going to events and munches, but few that were my type.

10:1 ratio at dominant women/submissive men groups: Woo HOO! Smorgasbord!

I concur with Usako: lots of couples, creepy 40+ male computer geeks/libertarians with no grasp of social interaction at functions, and doms/switches/vanillas looking for a ho-'domme' experience.

And Most women look at profiles; but we read something we don't like, we don't reply. F'r instance, if I see someone bitching without being amusing, they're going to be needy downers and not worth it; even if you don't feel it that day, you're going to catch more flies with honey than battery acid. I would say most people have been disappointed by people in anonymous forums such as CO; why dwell on it, and why should you feel entitled to?

As to women who are 'your type', do they look like CatWoman looking for SAM's?

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)

Post #: 62

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 11:18:15 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UnspeakableAxe
I moved to NYC specifically because the scene in the midwest was nil.

I've been looking for quite some time. Years and years. I can feel the frustration making me jaded.

If that's the case, then it's definitely your attitude that's holding you back.

I live in Missouri. My boy lives in Kansas. I'm friends with a couple on this site, also from KS, who managed to find a female partner.

If we can have success here and you can't in NYC...you are your own worst enemy. You need to do some serious soul-searching and figure out what it is about you that is turning women off. Because I promise it's you and not them.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)

Post #: 63

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 11:24:24 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
I live in Missouri. My boy lives in Kansas.

Yeah, but -- unlike the OP -- you really are tall, attractive, smart and funny. It's times like these that I feel like a total dope because I Hard Limit vampirism.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 64

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 11:32:17 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
I live in Missouri. My boy lives in Kansas.

Yeah, but -- unlike the OP -- you really are tall, attractive, smart and funny. It's times like these that I feel like a total dope because I Hard Limit vampirism.

*blush* Aww...you're sweet. Thank you.

I...uh...erm....

I'm short. As in 5 ft. 3 in. I hope I'm funny sometimes and I always try to speak with intelligence.

And don't feel too bad about hard-limiting vampirism. Most people who list it as an interest, aren't the real deal. Blood fetishism is not vampirism but few understand the distinction. You're better off staying away from the majority of "vampires."

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 65

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 11:43:39 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Okay, hijack city here, but what kind of vampire are you? My real hard limit is cutting, but that's not available as a profile interest. DV, PsyVamp and Master Fire all identify as vampires or psychic vampires, and they are all people I respect a lot, so I'm not going to diss the idea. (Basing one's life philosophy on poorly-written works of science fiction, on the other hand....)

Sad thing, really, is that this isn't a hijack, it's an example of how to have an actual conversation with a (omg omg) dominant woman.

Edited to add: Just so it is totally clear to anyone reading, Sylvere is in a relationship, and I am not interested in her "that" way.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 6/7/2008 11:55:24 AM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 66

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 12:00:11 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Okay, hijack city here, but what kind of vampire are you? My real hard limit is cutting, but that's not available as a profile interest. DV, PsyVamp and Master Fire all identify as vampires or psychic vampires, and they are all people I respect a lot, so I'm not going to diss the idea. (Basing one's life philosophy on poorly-written works of science fiction, on the other hand....)

Sad thing, really, is that this isn't a hijack, it's an example of how to have an actual conversation with a (omg omg) dominant woman.

I thought about sending you PM but you're right...this is a conversation with a DW. *gasp* O, the humanity!

All kidding aside, it never hurts to teach by example, so here goes.

I'm Leanan Sidhe. If you're not familiar with Celtic mythology, the Leanan Sidhe is similar to the Muses of Greece but she's also a vampire. She inspires artists and then feeds on the energy they produce as they create.

In my case, I exchange spiritual energy with creative people. It's a form of psychic vampirism. No cutting or even blood involved. In fact, while blood tastes nice and I enjoy it occasionally, it does very little for me. It's more like icing on the proverbial cake. I need a "higher octane level" than blood can provide.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 67

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 12:09:54 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
In my case, I exchange spiritual energy with creative people.

Well, hell, I've been doing that my whole life. Does that make me Taliesin?

Thanks for the explanation. I sent you a facepic via cmail.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 68

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 12:19:42 PM

ANeed2ServeU

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline

Hmmm, I guess I must be one of thse creepy guys over 40.

But in reality, I'm not sure I'm ready to "come out" and play in the local clubs as a submissive. On the other hand, I would enjoy meeting/dating a dominant woman. However, it seems I too am not particularly geographically located.... But time will tell... and the search continues...

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 69

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 12:20:10 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
In my case, I exchange spiritual energy with creative people.

Well, hell, I've been doing that my whole life. Does that make me Taliesin?

Thanks for the explanation. I sent you a facepic via cmail.

It might. Were you discovered, as an infant, by a guy fishing for salmon?

You're welcome and thanks for the pic. Always nice to have a face to go with a screen name.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 70

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 12:51:44 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

All i can say is YUMMY warm smiles .. Master Fire's energy is amazing ..nice post

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Okay, hijack city here, but what kind of vampire are you? My real hard limit is cutting, but that's not available as a profile interest. DV, PsyVamp and Master Fire all identify as vampires or psychic vampires, and they are all people I respect a lot, so I'm not going to diss the idea. (Basing one's life philosophy on poorly-written works of science fiction, on the other hand....)

Sad thing, really, is that this isn't a hijack, it's an example of how to have an actual conversation with a (omg omg) dominant woman.

I thought about sending you PM but you're right...this is a conversation with a DW. *gasp* O, the humanity!

All kidding aside, it never hurts to teach by example, so here goes.

I'm Leanan Sidhe. If you're not familiar with Celtic mythology, the Leanan Sidhe is similar to the Muses of Greece but she's also a vampire. She inspires artists and then feeds on the energy they produce as they create.

In my case, I exchange spiritual energy with creative people. It's a form of psychic vampirism. No cutting or even blood involved. In fact, while blood tastes nice and I enjoy it occasionally, it does very little for me. It's more like icing on the proverbial cake. I need a "higher octane level" than blood can provide.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 71

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 3:13:58 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

hey mister... if you ever want to talk.. I'm big into blood.. on several levels, though I do not identify as a vampire..

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 72

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 3:21:37 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Was that directed to me? Blood doesn't squick me. Sex during menstruation is no prob, tho I know some guys get all weirded out by it. I never figured that one out. I mean, kind of a package deal, right? She's got a vagina, good chance she's got a uterus.

It's cutting I Hard Limit, for reasons I won't explain in this thread.

Oh, and, Sylvere? I realized why I thought you were tall. It's because you are so ..... willowy!

(Ba-dum-bum)

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 73

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/7/2008 3:30:25 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

yes.. directed at you.. but I'm just home from a long day on the bike... I'm about to join the boi in a bath...

more tomorrow.. in private...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 74

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/9/2008 6:46:09 PM

Mlicious

Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

I have not been through all of the responses but my thought is this: even at a party, a Domme can certainly take on more boys to meet and play with. I do it all of the time, and I have a sub of my own. The notion that a Domme is at a party with a date and somehow unavailable is quite vanilla. I was once the same way myself. When I got the guts to go to a party, I'd been chatting for a few months with a sub online. When I met slavekal at that same party, I wrote the online sub and - in vanilla fashion - informed him that I'd met somebody. I did the proper vanilla thing and told the guy I'd met someone. NOW, I regret losing touch with the guy, for I now know that I can have and play with as many boys as I want and I could have kept him. A Domme is not limited to the guy she showed up with. Keep it in mind and get out there to the parties.

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)

Post #: 75

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/9/2008 6:55:08 PM

Mlicious

Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

I went to my first bdsm party by myself and met a very fine sub.

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)

Post #: 76

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/9/2008 7:23:27 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Those were the days!! I remember the first time I saw you at a party, looking like a little Halle Berry clone in a fabulous dress..... Good to be queen, isn't it! <G>

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Mlicious)

Post #: 77

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/9/2008 7:49:23 PM

mistressme32772

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

to life, and aint it just grand! Sweet thing, wherever you meet a Domme or anyone else for that matter, just remember what Albert Einstein said, "Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From Mediocre Minds". Now remember what this Mistress has to say..."If you free your A**, your Mind will follow. If it doesn't, come to me and I'll give that A** a swift kick in the Mind, mediocre or not!". Chin up Baby, we are out there looking for you, and you, and you too! Peace.....................MME..........................

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)

Post #: 78

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/9/2008 7:49:32 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I have been to clubs in NYC. There are single women who show up. Go to a Footnight party there when they have one. I met a bunch of women and hung out with them a few years back. Don't neglect the women you meet in vanilla settings. You never can tell what is in their minds unless you get to really know them. I did a post about meeting a dominant woman on my blog a while ago. Check it out.

(in reply to UnspeakableAxe)

Post #: 79

RE: Best Place To Meet Dominant Women. - 6/9/2008 7:50:05 PM

mztresn0w

Posts: 174
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

I have to agree with azropedntied. I don't understand why people think if they attend one or two events that a Domme or Dom is going to just fall into their lap. It is hard enough in the vanilla world to find the right partner. This isn't e-harmony. But it is a great site to meet people. I have meet alot of wonderful people in my area and all I am looking for is friendship.

_____________________________

Becareful what you ask for you may get it and then realize it wasn't what you wanted.
Wicked Evil Grin

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 80

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