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RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 5:56:23 AM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

OP "...I'm posting in the Ask A Master category because I want the honest opinions of heterosexual intelligent Dom peers. Guys who have close to the same mindset I do and know what kind of crap I can't be bothered with, and what kind I should sit my ass down and pay attention to. "...

Wow well the first lesson would be to open your mind up a tiny bit and let some light inside, because being a Master is not about gender, or about what genders you have sex with. The huge majority of what works for one gender works for both, and a huge percentage of what works for gay and lesbian M/s relationships also works for Hetero relationships.

Once you have opened the mind that much there are a wealth of experiences that can be read about and talked about between Masters.

Archer, even though OP is clearly the greatest thing since sliced bread, I'm pretty sure his use of the word "Master" equates to "Glorified Sexual Service Top".

_____________________________

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The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 21

RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 7:31:30 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkeangelique
Hope we all believe there is no such thing as a silly question...lol

Of course there are. There are even downright stupid ones. Yours was not one of them.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to darkeangelique)

Post #: 22

RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 7:51:07 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

People,people. Here is a op just being his Domly self and your flaming him for it. Here is a nice, self assured handsome. (Im giving him the benefit of doubt there) fellow. He is not a clone. He has his own opinions. Should we not respect them? Im not worried about tomatoes being thrown at me. They pulled them off the markets. He was just asking for some advice to expand his vast knowlege. Why are you so hard on him for doing that. tisk,tisk

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 23

RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 9:30:06 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Reposted from this thread.

What's good for Master role models? One sub I know was very into the 'SexAndSubmission' site but it's also focused pretty much on the her and not the him; I'm not looking to wank off, I'm looking to improve my game. Although the movies are very well done, it's more scripted than I'd like... Plus it doesn't fit well with my particular style of mind fvckery. It doesn't really capture the mental aspect of dominating a girl to the point where she feels helpless, lost as to what happens next yet safe; or fishing out her need to be controlled and satisfying it; it's more about the toys than anything, and it's pretty obvious these girls are paid.

I have watched some of the "SexAndSubmission" videos and the people playing aren't even competent Tops. However, that said I have a very bad habit of looking for reasons to reject things rather than reasons to accept/learn, you, the OP have that same fault. However, for a 28 yo kid, you have your shit together and could very well be amazing by the time you read your mid 30s. How's THAT for condescention!

Seriously though, you nailed that site for me. I wanted to scream watching it there were so many missed opportunities to take things deeper and make it hotter.However, the problem with porn and Dominance is that what is intense for the two people involved might be boring to watch and what might be hot to watch might not involve any dominance. "Seeing" control and discipline isn't always easy and often requires context, something that isn't the strong suite of porn. That said, there stuff is still pretty hot.

Funny side note: That company BOUGHT this HUGE old brick national guard building in downtwon San Francisco and there was a HUGE battle over it. Even SF has limits...but they forced the sale through and it is pretty cool.

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 24

RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 9:31:55 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Oh, I forgot the part about "role models"...learning from porn is a bad idea. Taking SOME stuff from it is one thing, BSB loves porn and trust me, I do watch to see what turns her on and then use that against her. There is enough posturing and acting in the real world bdsm scene, we don't need to import any.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 25

RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 10:08:53 AM

Cuffkinks

Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline

To the OP...
I'm not going to bother flaming you, enough here have done that so I think you get the point about the way to ask a question. But I'm going to give you the benefit of a doubt and take your question in with sincerity.
As far as improvement goes...You never know when or where information is going to come from, so it's important to be open to it when it presents itself. Open your mind. Knowledge can come from anywhere, anytime, from anyone. Dom, sub, slave, gay, straight, vanilla. The point is to listen and absorb. Yes, you may be able to get a few pointers here and there on physical play from watching movies, but, most likely, you're not going to learn anything from a movie that's going to help you penetrate a subs mind. That can only come from knowing and learning your sub.
So many have said it on so many different threads...Communication, communication, communication! If you have a sub...find out from her what does it for her. You can't paint your Dominance with one broad stroke. Each person is different, so find out from the one you have. If you don't have a sub, be open to absord information at any time. Read the boards here, communicate with others in the lifestyle. There are some very wise people here of all types.
I wanted to keep this short so I'll wish you luck and leave you with this old saying: "Knowledge speaks...Wisdom listens."
Of course, all of this is just My opinion and should not be taken as anything more than that.

_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 26

RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 7:50:36 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I have watched some of the "SexAndSubmission" videos and the people playing aren't even competent Tops. However, that said I have a very bad habit of looking for reasons to reject things rather than reasons to accept/learn, you, the OP have that same fault. However, for a 28 yo kid, you have your shit together and could very well be amazing by the time you read your mid 30s. How's THAT for condescention!

Seriously though, you nailed that site for me. I wanted to scream watching it there were so many missed opportunities to take things deeper and make it hotter.However, the problem with porn and Dominance is that what is intense for the two people involved might be boring to watch and what might be hot to watch might not involve any dominance. "Seeing" control and discipline isn't always easy and often requires context, something that isn't the strong suite of porn. That said, there stuff is still pretty hot.

Funny side note: That company BOUGHT this HUGE old brick national guard building in downtwon San Francisco and there was a HUGE battle over it. Even SF has limits...but they forced the sale through and it is pretty cool.

OMG, but you know the only actor I watch from there is Mark Davis... Did you watch his videos? I wouldn't care if all the other BDSM porn in the world went away as long as I could watch his videos..lol

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 27

RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 8:09:26 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I have watched some of the "SexAndSubmission" videos and the people playing aren't even competent Tops. However, that said I have a very bad habit of looking for reasons to reject things rather than reasons to accept/learn, you, the OP have that same fault. However, for a 28 yo kid, you have your shit together and could very well be amazing by the time you read your mid 30s. How's THAT for condescention!

Seriously though, you nailed that site for me. I wanted to scream watching it there were so many missed opportunities to take things deeper and make it hotter.However, the problem with porn and Dominance is that what is intense for the two people involved might be boring to watch and what might be hot to watch might not involve any dominance. "Seeing" control and discipline isn't always easy and often requires context, something that isn't the strong suite of porn. That said, there stuff is still pretty hot.

Funny side note: That company BOUGHT this HUGE old brick national guard building in downtwon San Francisco and there was a HUGE battle over it. Even SF has limits...but they forced the sale through and it is pretty cool.

OMG, but you know the only actor I watch from there is Mark Davis... Did you watch his videos? I wouldn't care if all the other BDSM porn in the world went away as long as I could watch his videos..lol

You are a woman with discerning tates. If Mark Davis walked in a room with me in it, I would kiss his feet. The last vid, well Lorelei Lee is the most amazing sub. But the Dom was brand new and no match for her. She needs someone who can bring it.

_____________________________

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Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 28

RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 8:09:26 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

OMG, but you know the only actor I watch from there is Mark Davis... Did you watch his videos? I wouldn't care if all the other BDSM porn in the world went away as long as I could watch his videos..lol

Can I get an amen and a hallelujah? LOL! I'm with ya on Mark Davis BSB!

That man can seriously make me cream my panties...... if I were wearing any!!

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 29

RE: Self Improvement - 6/13/2008 11:41:09 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

To reiterate, the topic is 'Good movies (not necessarily porn, but not excluding it either) that give an excellent demonstration of turning someone you have just met into someone that's totally submissive.' As a secondary, good articles/stories that demonstrate excellence in this category.

Segues:
1. Mark Davis
Response: Yeah, Mark Davis isn't bad.

Still, the girls he's with don't bring out the best in him.

2. 'Glorified Sexual Service Top.'

Response: You're alone, aren't you?

3. 'DMF is such a jackass, how dare you rule out what you don't want to hear? Or who?'
A. It was phrased as a polite request. This next part won't be.
B. Flame on mofos. Keep it coming. I'm not going to claim to be misunderstood, or claim that your concept of what is and is not acceptable in a forum is not laughable. I stated exactly what I was looking for, like a good question should do; and I don't give two craps what you think of me. While you're flaming, you're usually also trying to see if you can answer my question so that I pay attention to you when you tell me what a jackass I am, which gets the job done. In this case, the answer seems to be, 'there AREN'T any good movies out there.' That you guys know of.

Thanks for playing. Care for some more troll bait? I've got plenty.

As for the 20% of you that wrote something worth reading, sadly, none of you had any good movie role model suggestions either.

Is anyone else awake out there?

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 30

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 6:42:00 AM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Welcome to the internet. LOL

Anyway. My opinion still stands. Watch any Steven Segal movie. His confidence and Dominance practically oozes from every pore of his body. He's an ultimate ass kickin machine. His wife is a total babe. What more can a person say?

CD

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 31

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 6:56:47 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

You know, I always wrote Steven Segal off as a cornball, but you may have something there. What bugs me in him may be the very thing that is working for him.

The boat I used to work on has like 10 of his movies; I'll be sure to trade for them when they swing back in port.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 32

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 8:09:06 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Some other points:

:: Same things work on male subs as on female subs ::

Male/female psychology is not the same. Male SUBMISSIVES are not female submissives. Different hormones. Different contexts. Different needs, problems, and companions. Different treatment even from the same people who grow up with them. Not less, not more, but different. Yes, I can learn tricks from a domme, but not the tricks I want to learn right now. I want to see a hairy bastard like me take a sub-inclined girl and make her beg, and I want to see it done RIGHT; with notepad in hand. Dommes, you have plenty to offer. But NOT NOW. Go. Away. Please. There's a different forum for you. It's all shared, and normally cross-pollinated, and there's nothing wrong with that. But, once in a while, I refuse to feel ashamed for asking the opinions specifically of other 'Masters' in an ASK A MASTER FORUM!!!!!

Rant complete. Next contestant:

:: Iron Bear ::

I'm calling you out specifically because I would very much like to respect you. The others I expect it from, I've seen 'em jump on similar requests too often to care anymore; but I'd like to ask you to reconsider your stance on what I wrote and why I wrote it.

If I'm wrong, please explain why I shouldn't ask other Masters for opinions, and rule out Dommes. Or don't, whatever's clever. Logic that won't work:
'They are women, they know how women think...' Maybe. But I don't want that here, I want a man's perspective, possibly because men DON'T have firsthand experience being a woman and have to learn handling the same way I do.
'It's disrespectful...' No... it's not. I won't even argue with that, it's that bad of a non sequitur.
"Teh pigeons willz flocks at choo!!!" I see this. I don't care; they are being rude and inconsiderate. Correct them, not me.

:: LuckyAlbatross ::

You're hidden. Bye.

A couple more of you are on my hidden list now, too. Thanks for volunteering. If any of you want to return the favor, please note the 'hide' button on the bottom left-hand corner of my comments. It will save both of us pain and heartbreak.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 6/14/2008 8:43:53 AM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 33

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 8:11:22 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

It's ridiculously simple.

"Don't say-do."

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 34

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 8:20:30 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Uh huh. Leatherist, the noise to signal ratio just went down by two. You, and now sadly, me.

Do you have a suggestion for a movie, actor, author? Did you read the question and do you honestly care about what I get out of this, or are you just quipping three words that, while poignant, are not entirely correct?

fine. here's three more: Saying IS doing.

chew on that. As a matter of fact, don't. Just click the ignore button, I'm getting infuriated by this nonsense.

I'm not ignoring you, it takes a hell of a lot before I go there, but if all you want to do is correct my appalling lack of caring for the 'we are the world' crap everyone is spouting, then please do ignore me so I don't get that far.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 35

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 8:28:39 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Paradox, I AM a "Master". Suck it up. If you want to hear what other hairy bastards have to say, I recommend the Gor forum. Plenty of guys there who have lots of opinions to share, and probably good porn lists, too.

The rest of you--Who is this Mark Davis? I never go to internet porn, I am far too cheap! :)

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 36

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 8:54:07 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Paradox, I AM a "Master". Suck it up. If you want to hear what other hairy bastards have to say, I recommend the Gor forum. Plenty of guys there who have lots of opinions to share, and probably good porn lists, too.

The rest of you--Who is this Mark Davis? I never go to internet porn, I am far too cheap! :)

Hey, cool, Princess.

Good thinking on the Goreans. They have their own special blend of drama which keeps me from jumping in with two feet, but you're right, it's a bunch of hairy dudes who might know about this one.

I have zero tolerance for snark right now. You did not suggest any reference material directly, or critique one suggested, and you told me to suck up something that's frankly stupid as hell. In other words, you just wasted my time again. I didn't hide you for your last comment, but I did this one. I don't HAVE to suck it up, and I'm LOVING that little effing button. You've got 2221 posts of which perhaps 1% I gained something from. Bye.

::Edited because you didn't ask me about Mark Davis.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 6/14/2008 9:02:52 AM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 37

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 8:57:58 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Oh my gosh, I just laughed out loud!! Should I be insulted that someone who never reads my posts hid me? Nah....

But ladies,who is this Mark Davis?

And you other guys, you DO know that the key to understanding submissive women is.....LISTENING TO SUBMISSIVE WOMEN, right? And not asking the guys in the secret hideout what they think? Cool, just checking.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 38

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 9:03:16 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Oh my gosh, I just laughed out loud!! Should I be insulted that someone who never reads my posts hid me? Nah....

But ladies,who is this Mark Davis?

And you other guys, you DO know that the key to understanding submissive women is.....LISTENING TO SUBMISSIVE WOMEN, right? And not asking the guys in the secret hideout what they think? Cool, just checking.

Wow, what a revolutionary concept! You mean,we are not supposed to just read bad sci books and then pontificate about what powerful men we are? But this whole "relating" thing? Isn't that just a little too much about really horrible and undomly things-like humility and listening?

They take away your twue master card for that shit yanno.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 39

RE: Self Improvement - 6/14/2008 9:05:19 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Oh dude, I didn't say anything about humility!! <G> You boys are allowed all the chest beating you want. If I find it amusing, sub women must, too, right?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 40

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