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GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Honor Amoung Friends (11/9/2005 1:27:59 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: candystripper
A good discussion of the generic question about honor was thus stifled. i have to take care what i post, especially in Op posts, and try to think harder how my words will be interpreted. No one one the boards knows me in r/l; no one here can be expected to "read my mind"....it's NOT like sending an email to a friend who is already familiar with my style of writing and can use that to "get" what i have said.
I have read this thread with interest as it unfolded. I have to admit to searching for and locating the situation in question, once sufficient details were published.
I disagree that a good discussion was stifled. Unfortunately, you did ask the simple question, but not prior to writing your own non-hypothetical example of how you felt there had been dishonor. As vague as that was, you did present a scenario. When one puts forth a scenario, that scenario will enter into further discussion.
Perhaps it is true that no one on the boards knows you in real life, but you have been a prolific poster through several screen names, and certain parts of your personality come through very clearly. I don't mean bad personality traits. I mean we can see each other n certain lights. Some are blunt, some are extra sensitive, some are harsh, some are negative, some are even tempered, some are exciteable. As a result, we do feel that we do know you to a certain extent. So we are already aware of how you may or may not react to various things. And that is taken into consideration when the natural probing begins to help facilitate constructive discussion.
In the end, I for one feel that I would never have ended a "friendship" or even an nice "aquaintanceship" over this particular matter. It does seem trivial to Me. And I believe that many of the previous posters were trying to make the same point, in their own characteristic ways. We all have a different take on what is "honorable". Therefore, other posters were just trying to assist you in putting things in perspective. How important was this situation? Apparently it was important enough to you to end an online "friendship". Others would never have made such a request in the first place. Perhaps, instead, they would have felt that they made their own mistake, and now a good lesson had been learned.
"Honor in friendship"? Yes...if you define such as integrity and honesty and loyalty. Example: If someone lies to Me or about Me, to My detriment and their betterment, I would call that a lack of honor. But if I put something out there, and then have it quoted back to Me, I either have to apologize and make amends, stand by My original words, or just let it lie.
It is not always possible, nor is it a good idea, to try to simply delete, or edit, and that just makes it all go away. If everything could be instantly fixed with a few keystrokes, nobody would have to stop and think. And no one learns or grows. Because, there are no consequences.
As Sally said to Harry: "You can't take it back! It's already out there!"
*Edited for font
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