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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 3:41:51 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Never mind. Hit post too fast, then changed my mind about the semantics.

< Message edited by CalifChick -- 6/17/2008 3:42:17 PM >

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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 101

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 3:42:10 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

No, I could not nor would I do that. It's just not something that would be good for me.
But I love Softness, and if this is a healthy and happy thing for her, then, I wish both of them the best.
I do worry about what the outcome will be, but, there are no guarantees in life, anyway.

its funny ... people like you know me .. and know my brain is all hooked up and functioning correctly right ... yet some people assume that I would continue to do something that made me damaged, unhappy and incomplete

is the fact that I am evidently gah gah over Him no indication that I might in fact be ok with procuring for Him .... dare I say it ....*gasps* ... even kind of enjoying it!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 102

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 3:44:36 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I remain intrigued.... And dang, Softness, you are really amazing.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 103

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 3:50:50 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I remain intrigued.... And dang, Softness, you are really amazing.

what intrigues you?

and thankyou for the compliment ... I shall pass it onto Sir

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 104

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 3:55:18 PM

VMistressV

Posts: 78
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline

I am loving this idea. As long as youre both ok with it. I really can't see a problem.
The only thing for me is I'm of course a bit of a control freak and may find something wrong with the person picked for me.

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You can have the stable partners, Give me a stable of partners.
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(in reply to Midnght)

Post #: 105

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 3:57:35 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

its funny ... people like you know me .. and know my brain is all hooked up and functioning correctly right ... yet some people assume that I would continue to do something that made me damaged, unhappy and incomplete

is the fact that I am evidently gah gah over Him no indication that I might in fact be ok with procuring for Him .... dare I say it ....*gasps* ... even kind of enjoying it!

Well in all honesty, this was in your original post:

"I wasn't happy about the idea at first, when I was initially told I was expected to do this I became huffy, indignant and hurt."

And remember that people judge things from their own perspective, so some may conclude that you aren't as gah gah over this as you proclaim. Just sayin'.....

And you have posted a couple of things recently that you seemed adamant about conerning your life and your relationship, only to have him come back and correct your opinion to match his. So it might lead folks here to conclude that some serious issues weren't communicated before a committment was made. Not that plenty of people don't do that mind ya.

They say there's a lid for every pot, so maybe you two are the matching set..... and I hope that you both find much happiness and fulfillment in your relationship.

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 106

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:00:11 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Seems that it'd be much easier and less expensive in terms of the value of my slaves man-hours to simply call an escort service. The dozens or hundreds of hours she'd invest in finding other girls for me would amount to tens of thousands of dollars if she were working otherwise. I can buy a hell of a lot of girls for that kind of money.

Stephan

Stephan; I agree.
In my experience procurring was time consuming and time is money.
It was a deal breaker.
Anyway: the said person seemed to be doing a better job of procuring for himself and eventually admitted it was asked as a form of sadism. As a form of sadism it didn't really work either as I got to greet and sometimes meet some lovely girls.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 107

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:02:28 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Well, over here, he finds people and I find people. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. But his desire to have me procure has nothing to do with a lack of personality, laziness or any of the other stuff that's been said in this thread so far. His desire for me to procure is precisely because it's really really really hard for me to do this. I am very shy amongst men and even shyer amongst women.

SURE he gets what he wanted. But it's kind of a "value added" sort of deal if you think about it. He gets what he wants in terms of another woman and as a bonus, he gets what he wants in terms of watching me squirm and try and struggle and try some more and somewhere along the line, be successful.

And for whatever else I get, the things that matters the most to me out of that deal is that a) I've pleased him - both with the procurement and with my struggle and b) At the very least, when it works out right, I get a friend.

Not a bad deal for all of us if you think about it.

juliet

(in reply to VMistressV)

Post #: 108

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:13:02 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

Well, over here, he finds people and I find people. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. But his desire to have me procure has nothing to do with a lack of personality, laziness or any of the other stuff that's been said in this thread so far. His desire for me to procure is precisely because it's really really really hard for me to do this. I am very shy amongst men and even shyer amongst women.

SURE he gets what he wanted. But it's kind of a "value added" sort of deal if you think about it. He gets what he wants in terms of another woman and as a bonus, he gets what he wants in terms of watching me squirm and try and struggle and try some more and somewhere along the line, be successful.

And for whatever else I get, the things that matters the most to me out of that deal is that a) I've pleased him - both with the procurement and with my struggle and b) At the very least, when it works out right, I get a friend.

Not a bad deal for all of us if you think about it.

juliet

You know dear Juliet: I really admire you strength and tenacity.
I'm not a shy girl (quite a social diva) but I really did find the work too much.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 109

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:32:32 PM

Midnght

Posts: 98
Joined: 4/24/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Midnght
Ironing is not the same as obtaining another slave, submissive what have you.

I agree, of course. What I'm trying to understand is exactly what the specific difference is that causes you to feel that one must be done by the dom, while the other could be done by the sub.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Midnght
But I've always been of the mind set if you want something done right do it yourself.

A fair point. So you would encourage doms to do their own ironing then (or risk having it done incorrectly)?

Hmm a differance, can't say as I can really think of the words to say it right, other than it's just how I fell.

As for ironing yeah i do think you should unless you spend the time to demonstrate how you want it done, or get it dry cleaned. };>).
To many people with exacting tastes expect others to knwo how they want something done and just end up getting mad or punishing because they didn't do their part to instruct.

< Message edited by Midnght -- 6/17/2008 4:48:40 PM >

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

Post #: 110

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:35:19 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

Firstly some of this thread stinks of 'your kink is not my kink and its NOT ok'. I truly think that is a shame in a lifestyle as diverse as ours that some people have not got the vision to say, 'your kink is not my kink but that IS ok'. Air your reasons for why you do not share the same views as Softness on procuring BUT is it not possible to do that respectfully and without vitriol?

For those who judge Softness and Dark Victory on the basis that they are miles apart at present, i have this to say. I know Softness in r/l and have had the honour of spending time with her on several occasions. I'll tell you now, all you need to do is see the look on her face, hear the way she speaks of Dark Victory to know that she is one truly happy, fulfilled slave. I have also interacted with them both on one occasion and their relationship i am truly envious of. From what i have seen they work fantasticly, fit together perfectly and have what most of us probably will never have.
It is my opinion that to judge them on the basis of theirs beinga long distance relationship is extremely short sighted and narrow minded.

To comment on the topic that Softness posted on i see absolutely nothing wrong in procuring girls for your Dom. I agree with the reasons Softness has given for wanting to do this and the benefits she gains from finding these girls.

And on a lighter note i sincerely hope Softness may procure me when Dark Victory visits the UK

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 111

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:35:53 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

edited cause the question was answered while was typing it

< Message edited by SeeksOnlyOne -- 6/17/2008 4:44:25 PM >

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 112

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:36:56 PM

Midnght

Posts: 98
Joined: 4/24/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

So you think that doms procuring for their subs is ok (with a few caveats), though subs procuring for their doms is appalling?

I do it's just how my own set of, dare I say morals, works.

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

Post #: 113

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:40:30 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

And on a lighter note i sincerely hope Softness may procure me when Dark Victory visits the UK

hun .. wish granted

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 114

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:43:51 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

ok i finally figured out that the dom is also participating in this thread. and then i check profiles and im all confused now.

have one of you forgotten to change your location? or is this all happening with her in the uk and him in california?

yes .. sorry for the confusion ...
I like extreme things ... so when I do LDR ... I *really* do LDR

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Post #: 115

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:47:34 PM

Midnght

Posts: 98
Joined: 4/24/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

No, I could not nor would I do that. It's just not something that would be good for me.
But I love Softness, and if this is a healthy and happy thing for her, then, I wish both of them the best.
I do worry about what the outcome will be, but, there are no guarantees in life, anyway.

its funny ... people like you know me .. and know my brain is all hooked up and functioning correctly right ... yet some people assume that I would continue to do something that made me damaged, unhappy and incomplete

is the fact that I am evidently gah gah over Him no indication that I might in fact be ok with procuring for Him .... dare I say it ....*gasps* ... even kind of enjoying it!

N this is why if it makes you happy then do it. It's a serivce thing to provide and if it's good for your relationship don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Those of us who don't do this or like it are just giving our opinions and let's face it these things can change if the wind blows right.
But your thoughts and desires are till valid as is anyone else. }:>)
Good luck in your quest.
Sincerely,
M

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 116

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:49:14 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

I think you hit on something with your words. So many times I've seen people get torn apart, dismissed out of hand and otherwise disrespected simply because they are in a long distance relationship.
As if it could not be real.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 117

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:50:58 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

How does procurement sit with you?

*sits back and wonders*

How did the above question suddenly translate into 'please feel free to judge my relationship?'

< Message edited by missturbation -- 6/17/2008 4:51:35 PM >

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 118

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:53:00 PM

Midnght

Posts: 98
Joined: 4/24/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

How does procurement sit with you?

*sits back and wonders*

How did the above question suddenly translate into 'please feel free to judge my relationship?'

Easy because when people have some anonimity on the internet they don't feel they need to know someone to pass judgement.
That's just how it is on the net any more some do this some don't. Sure feels like there's more who do it though than those who don't.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 119

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 4:57:57 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

This thread makes me wonder how many STDs are floating around this lifestyle...yuck.

I would not procure for anyone and I would not as someone to do it for me. Plain and simple.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 120

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