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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 5:50:55 PM

MissIsis

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I wouldn't say the posts here mean you are unpopular. These are just our opinions, & we all know everyone has them. Honestly, I wish you the best with whatever path life takes you on your journey.

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Post #: 141

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 6:00:20 PM

earthycouple

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softness,

I believe that the idea of procurement is a perfectly wonderful one! While I didn't ask this of my husband while searching for my third, he did have ultimate say in the end. I wouldn't even consider someone he didn't care for....regardless of the reason. Had he been the person, or were e01n now the person choosing who comes next, I'd love it. To take the messy part of the work from me would be awesome! I just have to make the final ok! One day my we'll be in search of someone for my husband and I sure plan to procure first because if I don't like her, he sure has heck won't (even if he does *S*). I love this lifestyle!

side note: as a whole, I'm guessing lifestylers are MUCH more careful about STDs and various other health issues than the random others out there....because as a whole we tend know the risks we take day to day and attempt to minimize those we can as much as possible while the cheating husbands, single young adults (and younger), and various others out there often don't think risk applies to them. But that's only my guess, of course *S*

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Post #: 142

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 6:00:25 PM

subtee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

Thank you to those people who have posted , it is much appreciated. My intention was to see what people thought of procuring ... and what I have seen is that people see something that wouldn;t work for them and therefore decide that either it cannot work for anybody .. or anybody it can work for must be broken, dysfuntional or down trodden in some way.

I was warned a long while ago that the lifestyle I wanted for msyelf, and was planning of being fairly ruthless about creating, would make me unpopular because it would hold a mirror up to other people. I didn't really get that until today.

Absolutely the opposite of my intention; I'm sorry. I see you as anything but broken, dysfunctional or downtrodden. Clearly the heartfelt and passionate responses prove you to be anything but unpopular. Do what you will! You're a fantastic person and this thread has fed us all, it seems to me.

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Post #: 143

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 6:03:48 PM

GreedyTop

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softness... I wish you well :) *hugs*

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Post #: 144

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 6:28:33 PM

lanie38

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~FR~

As a disclaimer I'm monogamous and this is something I'd never do but that being said I'm certainly not naive enough to think that this might not work for others. And actually I'm quite convinced that it works very well for both of them and in fact that she quite enjoys it. Softness seems articulate, intelligent, well-adjusted and after reading the entire thread and with all the stuff that's been thrown at her she never once became defensive. I think, a good indication, without knowing her personally, that she's genuine that this really does it for her and for him.

Now for me ...despite the fact that I'm well aware that reality dictates that there are no guarantees in life. I or he may at anytime meet someone who flips our lid sort of speak and we may go our seperate ways...I'd sure be kicking myself in the ass if I was the one who actually *procured* my own replacement...that, I'd much rather he do on his own...just sayin'

Best of luck to both of you!

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Post #: 145

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 6:44:15 PM

CruelDesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

Its not as if I've stopped hunting for myself. It's simply a service that I require be performed, much like licking my boots. By requiring that procuring be a service, it creates a certain set of feelings, concerns, thoughts, etc over there with her.

One thing I notice in several threads is the dissonance caused when the service to be performed falls outside of a fairly rigidly defined set of values. I find that very interesting, fascinating actually.

I see it more along the lines of differing sub-sub-cultures with the bdsm sub-culture. The ideas are alien to many within the bdsm sub-culture and they cannot comprehend it. Just like how people in the vanilla culture have a hard time understanding what goes on within the bdsm world. It is interesting that the more you learn about the intricacies of our lifestyle, the more you can comprehend the minute details that are within different parts of the mainstream lifestyle and all its smaller branches and pathways. I find it fascinating too. :)
CD

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Post #: 146

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 6:59:04 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Softness, you asked why I was intrigued..... I run across all kinds of men who are into "cuckoldry", and that doesn't work in my polyamourous mind...but this whole idea of THEM finding bulls for me opens up a whole universe of potential mindfuck and entertainment! Wank material, certainly!

You've given me new things to think about, and I appreciate it very much.

My regards to you and your ginger man!

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Post #: 147

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 7:10:09 PM

cjan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

How does procurement sit with you?

Softness, this is the question you asked in your OP.

I'm wondering a couple of things. Why ask the question if your mind is already made up to do as DV has told you he wishes you to do ? Do you have lingering doubts ? You have expressed some doubts in your OP and elswhere in the thread. Perhaps you should examine your own mind regarding these doubts.

Secondly, if you were simply curious to get others' opinions, why get upset and defensive when they give opinions that don't match yours ? What did you expect ? Unanimous applause ?

Finally, I don't see people as simply meat. No matter who they are. The idea is repugnant to me. But, that's simply how I see things. If you and DV both see you as simply meat, well, meat has no opinions, does it ? However, in procurring meat for your masters bed, I hope you exercise full disclosure to the women you are cosidering for such use. Make sure they know they are simply meat as well, won't you ?

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Post #: 148

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 7:12:58 PM

GreedyTop

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Cj..I don't think she was asking it out of doubt.. I think she was asking out of genuine curiosity of others perspective on it (I havent read the whole thread, so she may have said something to counter that).

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 7:18:38 PM

LadyHibiscus

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No, she is just curious, but thanks Cj, you are I think the only one besides me to make a point of subs not equalling meat....

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 7:33:58 PM

orfunboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

Its not as if I've stopped hunting for myself. It's simply a service that I require be performed, much like licking my boots.

Your in California and she is in the UK......she must have one hell of a tongue.

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Post #: 151

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 7:38:14 PM

orfunboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Sure, why not? It's just sex. I don't see the big deal nor why so many people have made the assumption that your dom couldn't get a girl for himself. I mean, he got you, didn't he? ::chuckles::

ya .. from 10,000 miles away, half His age ... who was a card carrying lesbian at the time ... sworn off all men and all real time play forever

no wonder He has to get me do it .. He has no skills at procuring for Himself *at all*

So now I am curious too....how do you find him women in another country? Do you interview them online and then give them contact info for him, if you find them acceptable?

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 7:48:09 PM

GreedyTop

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hey softness.... if I wasnt on the other side of the country, I'd volunteer ;)

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 8:39:39 PM

NeedingMore220

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires
I see it more along the lines of differing sub-sub-cultures with the bdsm sub-culture. The ideas are alien to many within the bdsm sub-culture and they cannot comprehend it. Just like how people in the vanilla culture have a hard time understanding what goes on within the bdsm world. It is interesting that the more you learn about the intricacies of our lifestyle, the more you can comprehend the minute details that are within different parts of the mainstream lifestyle and all its smaller branches and pathways. I find it fascinating too. :)
CD

Agreed. Fascinating, too, that those who have desires that may be sub-sub with bdsm find one another and are able to make a connection and form a relationship which works for them. While procuring wouldn't work for me - I'm more wired for monogamy and wouldn't be able to handle it - I can understand it from several points of view. Hell, whatever rocks your boat, go for it....

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Post #: 154

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 9:11:10 PM

DarkVictory

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Tickets from the East Coast, even these days... are cheap. You may well have a deal there, my dear. :)

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 9:36:22 PM

GreedyTop

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:D

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polysnortatious
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Post #: 156

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:09:55 PM

softness

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adds another one to the "fetched" list

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Post #: 157

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:17:02 PM

GreedyTop

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*snort*

*smooches* softness.. (I really wish we could have hooked up when I was there)

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Post #: 158

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:45:00 PM

RCdc

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Sorry for the mix up Celeste, when I made the partner comment, that was from my monogamous viewpoint rather than poly (so I meant that I couldn't answer from a monogamous pov, so I took the multiple partners out of the equasion and focus on the reason - if that makes sense).

I absolutely agree with you on the 'they do it because they can and want to' from the sex pov - but that was kind of my point - to me that means it is more than just sex - it is about control as well.

And sorry for the font mess up- I'll take full responsibility!

the.dark.

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:53:02 PM

peppermint

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

protection does not begin and end with a condom

testing, retesting, checking, keeping clean, not fluid bonding, testing again, taking a sexual health history, using a combination of protective measures

this is all protection

What test do males get for HPV?? Do you realize a male could be a carrier of the virus for years without symptoms?? What testing, checking, keeping clean, testing again, taking a sexual health history, using a combination of protective measures is going to protect you against HPV?

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