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RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 12:58:55 AM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint
What test do males get for HPV??  Do you realize a male could be a carrier of the virus for years without symptoms??   What testing, checking, keeping clean, testing again, taking a sexual health history, using a combination of protective measures is going to protect you against HPV? 



I thought this was an interesting question, so I checked.

From http://www.thehpvtest.com/HPV-for-men-FAQ.html#domen :
"There is currently no FDA-approved test to detect HPV in men. That is because an effective, reliable way to collect a sample of male genital skin cells, which would allow detection of HPV, has yet to be developed. However, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention advises men that they don't need to be worried about the lack of an HPV test for them. The agency states that "there is no clear health benefit to knowing if men have this virus, since HPV is unlikely to affect their health and cannot be treated. For most men, there would be no need to treat HPV, even if treatment were available, since it usually goes away on its own."

and

"Because HPV is so common, it is difficult to avoid it altogether. It is reasonable to expect that you will get HPV at some time during your life. Sexual contact with just one partner can be enough to get or spread the virus."

Somewhere in there, it also says the risk of HPV causing cancer is very rare for people with healthy immune symptoms.  It also says over 50% of men carry HPV and don't know it.  So basically, having just one sex partner in your life - a monogamous husband - can give you a more than 50% chance of contracting HPV.



This is from the Center for Disease Control website:
"Because HPV is so common and usually invisible, the only sure way to prevent it is not to have sex. Even people with only one lifetime sex partner can get HPV, if their partner was infected with HPV."

and

"Partners usually share HPV. If you have been with your partner for a long time, you probably have HPV already. Most sexually active adults will have HPV at some time in their lives. Men with healthy immune systems rarely develop health problems from HPV."


I didn't mean to hijack your thread, Softness, but since there seemed to be such a concern about STD's, I thought I would do some research, for my own information as well as for those who are interested.



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RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 1:58:42 AM   
marieToo


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I see nothing wrong with procurement, in fact, I love the idea of it and have been involved in such a quest myself.  I think it's a highly intimate form of service and can actually bond the couple on a new level not previously experienced.

It is something that monogamous people have a hard time relating to.  I have nothing against monogamy, but people who aren't wired for polyamorous relationships are always blown away by this type of thing.  A lot of people cannot understand how anyone could not only be ok with their man fucking another girl, but actually enjoy the idea of it.  And if one enjoys the idea of it, why wouldn't they contribute to the realization of such a desire, both for themselves and as a service to their Dom?

In the situation I was in, I was actually the one who first introduced such an idea to my then Dom.  It was my desire to watch him fuck another girl.  And I knew the possibility existed that if I found her, maybe he'd even fuck her without me, which was still fine with me, because I didn't see myself  as a person in any position to tell him who he could/should fuck, or how, or when.  Yes it can be scary and it can create some fears even in the most secure people, but what relationship isn't vulnerable?  What the hell is security anyway?  Is there any guarantee that our partner won't feel differently next week or next year?  That risk is present for anyone in a any kind of relationship, vanilla, bdsm, mono, poly or whateverthefuckinbetween.

The relationship I was in, when I was actively seeking ended after several months (for other reasons) so it never came to fruition for us.  But I can certainly speak to the way it made me feel when I was actively looking and speaking to prospects.  For one, it made me feel closer to him when I couldn't see him, it also made me feel focused on him, and made me feel as if I was doing something for him-- on a quest for him, which in turn, was like doing something for the relationship as a whole.  It also made me feel more bonded to him...or I think a good word is "united", as we would discuss the different prospects I had spoken to. 

And for me personally, there was also a "meat" factor involved; amongst all the other positive feelings that it conjured for me, there was an objectification element which reminded me of the place I love to be in as a submissive.   Beyond that, not only was there a sexual turn on involved, but there is also an element of humiliation present.   It's a bittersweet desire to watch my Dom fuck another girl,  or even just to know that he's fucking someone else.  And I always analogize procurement as having to go out and fetch the switch you're going to be whipped with. This remains one of my greatest fantasies, and one I hope to realize someday with the right person.   I'm not saying that my motivations are the same as anyone else's, I'm merely sharing this about myself in order to show that there are a multitude of deliciously mixed feelings in this type of act, and many various reasons why a couple may enjoy something like this, none of which involve a Dom victimizing his sub or using her for something he can't accomplish for himself. 


< Message edited by marieToo -- 6/18/2008 2:04:00 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 3:23:19 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		How did this get hijacked into an STD thread?  Interesting.

Anyway, I say more power to you.  If it makes you both happy, good on you.  There is no one twue way.  Thank God.



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Profile   Post #: 163
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 4:22:50 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Midnght
Personally I find it appauling that any Top would use their submissive to procur others.
They should do it themselves.

My girl ran the house and liked girls.  I was running 4 corporations and she had more time to hunt than I did... and she liked hunting as much as she liked catching.  I should not have been doing it myself.  She wanted the “reinforcements” as badly as I did.  We are not talking slaves to help with housework either…  it was a very wealthy house with hired laborers for the yard, maids, laundry etc.  It was her job to keep me and my house in order... girls, social events and all.

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Profile   Post #: 164
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 6:34:33 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

How did this get hijacked into an STD thread?  Interesting.

Anyway, I say more power to you.  If it makes you both happy, good on you.  There is no one twue way.  Thank God.




Yea, thread hijacks are common. I am still waiting for the answers to my questions, so I can understand the OP better.


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Profile   Post #: 165
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 7:19:09 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel
I'm starting to think you have an ironing fetish.


LOL.  No, I just keep re-using the same trivial example.

(As a matter of fact, I don't own an iron.  I thought I did, but when a visiting family member asked to use one recently, I discovered that the box with the picture of the iron on it actually contained a hand instead.)


A HAND?  WTF????

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)
Profile   Post #: 166
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 7:19:49 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		yeah! what CD said!!!

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Profile   Post #: 167
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 7:31:23 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
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Status: offline 		cd. u have cmail

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Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 7:37:56 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Midnght
Personally I find it appauling that any Top would use their submissive to procur others.
They should do it themselves.

My girl ran the house and liked girls.  I was running 4 corporations and she had more time to hunt than I did... and she liked hunting as much as she liked catching.  I should not have been doing it myself.  She wanted the “reinforcements” as badly as I did.  We are not talking slaves to help with housework either…  it was a very wealthy house with hired laborers for the yard, maids, laundry etc.  It was her job to keep me and my house in order... girls, social events and all.

I'm going to start calling you Heff!

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Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 7:45:32 AM   
TwoNYCDommes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
I always analogize procurement as having to go out and fetch the switch you're going to be whipped with. 


I love that analogy.

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Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 7:51:58 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
I always analogize procurement as having to go out and fetch the switch you're going to be whipped with. 


I love that analogy.

DITTO!

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Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 9:14:38 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

Procuring - finding suitable and willing sexual partners for a third party.

One of the services I give is procuring. I wasn't happy about the idea at first, when I was initially told I was expected to do this I became huffy, indignant and hurt.  It took a lot of maturity, acceptance, and most importantly just deciding I was going to submit pleasingly to it and get on with life. I want Sir to be as happy as I can make Him, being a good girl for Him will do that and a good girl for Him - gets Him enough pussy to drown in.

If I am the one going out there and finding Him other girls, nothing is hidden from me, its open, healthy, respectful and therefore unlikely top explode into a world of hurt and damage. I have no say whatsoever in Sir's sex life - none - zip - nada. Its not up for negotiation and never has been. I could though have a big say in who shares His bed if I am the one putting them there. I have no control on IF there is another girl in Sir's bed ... but I can have control over WHO the other girl is in Sir's bed. I can make sure they are all suitable, well behaved, pleasing to Him, and tolerable to me. 

A big issue for girls asked to procure is their own insecurity about their position. Sir has told me again and again that I am secure in my position as long as I am pleasing. I am learning also, that I cannot easily be replaced. So .. being that I cannot be easily replaced, and that He will not seek to replace me as long as I am pleasing - what possible risk can another girl be to me? .. *especially* if I am the one who put her in His bed.

How does procurement sit with you?



Doesn't interest me - if we are going to have sex with a woman then I like to do it together and get to know the person together.  Plus I'm kind of shy with women, making that first step would be exceedingly difficult and best left to my owner (now once the first step is made I'm not so shy - but those first few steps I'm not really agressive). 

Also, I think he'd see procurement as a mechanism for me to control the women that he got to fuck.

C~


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Profile   Post #: 172
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 9:33:23 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

How did this get hijacked into an STD thread?  Interesting.



Because there seemed to be an assumption made (or at least a fear out there) that procuring girls for one's master is the meaning behind the supposed high STD volume among BDSMers, and therefore softness must be contributing to the overall ruins of this earth as we know it.  When the question of the horrors of men with HPV came up, I decided to answer it because, having nothing at all to do with procuring girls for a particular man (which is what this thread was about), the whole thing started seeming absurd to me.  So I put some knowledge out there for the frightened folks to take or leave as they choose.

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Profile   Post #: 173
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 9:44:43 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi

I am still waiting for the answers to my questions, so I can understand the OP better.




She answered it a lot earlier in the thread to someone else, before you posted your question.  It's much like a screening process, in which she communicates with someone, matches likes with his through conversation, and then sets them up to meet him.

I imagine the communication process would be much like that which men and women, women and women, and men and men share on the profile side of CM every day. 

I had a friend do this before - she lived in Florida and her Master lived in Ireland.  She would regularly seek out girls local to him, using sites such as this.  She would send them an initial note, engage in an email exchange if it went that far, then IM, maybe even phone after that, and when it seemed to be someone interested, who suited his desires, she would arrange for them to meet.  It's a rather simple concept.

My friend enjoyed doing that for him.  Since she couldn't be there regularly to present her own body to him, she would do her part to present another's.  Much like women submissives who say they don't do domestic service (housekeeping), and hire a maid, I suppose.  To some people it's just another form of service.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 6/18/2008 9:46:48 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 174
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 10:06:05 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I've stayed on the sideline of this thread as my Master and I are monogamous and the idea of procurement therefore wouldn't work for us.  Also when the thread blew up into a "your kink is neither my kink nor ok" and "you're going to die of a horrible disease if you do this" and "you must be damaged / daft / your Master must be too lazy" I couldn't really relate the comments to either softness or Dark Victory from what I've seen of them over the past year that I've been on CM.

Today I feel compelled to say this:

softness, for me personally procurement would be something I would be unable to comply with.  I'm just not wired that way.  I'm horribly jealous and insecure and have never had any desire to be in a situation where I could end up 'second fiddle' even if that were only in my own head.  That said it seems to me that your devotion to DV is astounding, your desire to please him in a task that could cause you emotional distress (and if I am reading between the lines correctly) already has done to some extent is very commendable.  He is very blessed to have found you.  If this is something that works for you both (and your potential 3rds) then go for it.  I hope you continue to be happy in your relationship and find mutually satisfying partners.

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Profile   Post #: 175
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 10:21:12 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
I always analogize procurement as having to go out and fetch the switch you're going to be whipped with. 


I love that analogy.


me too ... but then .. I am happy fetching the switch for Him also ... *grins*

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Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 10:59:14 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

hey softness.... if I wasnt on the other side of the country, I'd volunteer ;)

Dearest Greedy: you see many of us UK girls have got REAL good tongues xx


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Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 11:08:33 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Prinsexx many of us American men have great tongues. No need to go to the UK for that.

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Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 11:32:49 AM   
TwoNYCDommes


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
me too ... but then .. I am happy fetching the switch for Him also ... *grins*


I actually prefer slaves who aren't entirely happy to do such things.  But then, I'm a sadist.

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Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Procuring - 6/18/2008 11:56:19 AM   
TwoNYCDommes


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes
(As a matter of fact, I don't own an iron.  I thought I did, but when a visiting family member asked to use one recently, I discovered that the box with the picture of the iron on it actually contained a hand instead.)


A HAND?  WTF????


The story is not nearly as interesting when explained, though it was a moment of some concern for me, when my visiting father looked into the "iron" box then back up at me, then back into the box (into which I could not see from my angle across the room), and finally told me what it contained.  My mind was racing a bit desperately trying to recall just how a human hand could have ended up there.  In the end, it turned out to merely be the hand of a mannequin that a friend had used in an art project.  I'm still not entirely sure how it ended up in that box, though.

< Message edited by TwoNYCDommes -- 6/18/2008 11:57:03 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 180
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