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RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/5/2005 2:36:25 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Hi Pink.

I serve others. I submit to one. As bella does to Six, so do I to Demon. Bella may serivce someone, but that doesnt make her less owned by Six. Its still His lap she returns to. Its still His feet she rests at. But what I am reading is that His desire is for her to be all she can for others so she is all she will be for Him, for what she does reflects on Him. Her service is priceless and the pride He has in that is unimaginable... (Lol... if I am reading to much into this, just let me know)I think that what Six is saying is that if Your Dominant in the future hosted a dinner party, then He would expect you (more likely than not) to serve His guests - they may be concerned wwiitwd or not, but ultimately, that is irrelvant. You will serve. But that doesn't make your submission to Your Master/Dominant or whatever He will wish to be called any less important. In fact, you will be making Him exptremely proud if you do so well.

I serve every day by being exactly what Demon wants. For every door I hold open, to every phonecall I take for Him from business associates of His, to every meal I serve whether on my knees or at His table to whomever HE decides. I serve to honour HIM. If thats His wish, His desire, I do so.

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 61

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/5/2005 3:34:42 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

to the best of my knowledge....

em and i were referring to several posts that came about BEFORE your post on aging...if you look at the quote boxes.

okay pink, i went back and reread just to make sure i was absolutely correct in that.
and indeed i am...my post that you quoted was in re to stef, nakedonmychain and lady albatross.

it didnt have anything at all to do w/ you and i am quite baffled as to why you think i meant you?

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 11/5/2005 3:59:00 PM >

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 62

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/5/2005 3:47:31 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

well we are in agreement on this matter as well as the monogamy issue

quote:

fyreredsub..i have come across "skills and interests" here i will never engage in, while others seem strange but not necessarialy out-of-the-question. i have yet to have a Dom (at least one who played/had sex with me) so it's hard to forecast. But i would certainly hope i could make my One happy..joyful...peaceful.

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 11/5/2005 3:48:06 PM >

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 63

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/5/2005 3:48:00 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel

Hi Pink.

I serve others. I submit to one. [clipped]
I serve every day by being exactly what Demon wants. For every door I hold open, to every phonecall I take for Him from business associates of His, to every meal I serve whether on my knees or at His table to whomever HE decides. I serve to honour HIM. If thats His wish, His desire, I do so.

Peace and Love

In a related manner, our servants often work outside the House, plying their skills on our behalf in outside jobs. They serve us when they give their best service to their employers. They are not -owned- by their employers, but their service is, in its whole, and whether in our presence or not, to -us-, as we own them in all things.

I think that what others have talked about here is similar, in that it diminishes the relationship not at all to have our servants taking care of others on our behalf. Hospitality in our house, or working diligently in an outside position, in the end it is -all- service to us.

Lady Zephyr

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 64

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/5/2005 4:06:04 PM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Thank you for your post LadiesBladewing....this was something that I hoped I could touch on with this thread...I treid with the "Your Not My Dom Syndrome".......this lifestyle encompass's much more than kinky sex......I have always based Owning an individual upon trust and loyality......if you build the foundation upon these few things then the rest of the emotional boundries seem to just fade away and when the tough times come around you feel even more closely bonded........I know that ive probably ruffled a few fethers with mine and bella's experiences but I want to show people the difference in between an emotional boundry and an actual limit............how bella acts is a direct reflection upon how I have trained her whether she is in an online format or in person......

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)

Post #: 65

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/5/2005 10:47:23 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

I think that maybe what myself and bella are saying has been misconstrued a bit. The point I was trying to get across with the monogamy thing is that I have personally seen and read people complaining that their specific others have cheated on them in the past whether it was a previous marraige or just a D's/M's relationship. There are alot of wounded psyche's out there. If it works for someone to be monogamous then im happy for them. The ponit of the thread is that there are alot of emotional issues out there that are "soft" limits.

I agree. I have absolutely no problem with you, or anyone else being poly, as long as you don't force that on others. It is true that many are hindered by emotions in dealing with the subject of sharing partners. Many have had bad experiences. Many are not ready to move on. Many choose monogamy because it simply suits them. None of these are necessarily a bad thing. Wounds may be painful, but they do need time to heal.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 66

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 7:28:07 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Thank you for your post LadiesBladewing....this was something that I hoped I could touch on with this thread...I treid with the "Your Not My Dom Syndrome".......this lifestyle encompass's much more than kinky sex......I have always based Owning an individual upon trust and loyality......if you build the foundation upon these few things then the rest of the emotional boundries seem to just fade away and when the tough times come around you feel even more closely bonded........I know that ive probably ruffled a few fethers with mine and bella's experiences but I want to show people the difference in between an emotional boundry and an actual limit............how bella acts is a direct reflection upon how I have trained her whether she is in an online format or in person......

Master Six

Master Six i believe i said (repeatedly) that i understood and respected the happiness You and bella have found. In fact, i celebrate it, as everyone's happiness enhances mine and gives me hope.

Naturally i would be obedient in the "setting the table" scenario...and if it made me uncomfortable, we would discuss later, in private.

My counter-point to You has been i will never play or have sex with anyone apart from my One..i need/want/desire Monogamy in my relationship. This want/need/desire would be mutual; He would be a faithful Man. Surely, the BDSM world is large and diverse enough to encompass both of Us without any need to disrespect another.

candystripper

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 67

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 7:57:12 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

to the best of my knowledge....

em and i were referring to several posts that came about BEFORE your post on aging...if you look at the quote boxes.

okay pink, i went back and reread just to make sure i was absolutely correct in that.
and indeed i am...my post that you quoted was in re to stef, nakedonmychain and lady albatross.

it didnt have anything at all to do w/ you and i am quite baffled as to why you think i meant you?

fyreredsub

fyreredsub; am not aware of those little messages on the bottom of a post. i thought ya were replying to me because we had been discussing aging. Sorry if i interrupted.

candystripper

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 68

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 8:45:13 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I'm not quite getting the point of this discussion.

Do some people have emotional baggage that prevents them from living as fully and beautifully as we could?

Yes.

Do some people meet others who can help them work through that baggage which then opens doors and allows them to do things they previously felt unattainable?

Yes.

Do people have things they know they will not do that have nothing to do with emotional security or issues and it does not matter who they meet, where they go, what they do, will simply not be part of their life experience?

Yes.

What does any of that have to do with Ds relationships (since all of those statements apply in vanilla life just as much as anywhere else) and what exact insights are we supposed to gain from it?

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 69

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 9:07:15 AM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

The point of the discussion is that there are alot of people in this lifestyle that have limits pertaining to emotional baggage..........maybe we can open a few eyes and show them that these things can be overcome and not to sell yourself short on any experience based on these emotional issues

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 70

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 9:19:09 AM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

What does any of that have to do with Ds relationships

Perhaps it's just the mere fact that this seems to be the setting we are involved with.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 71

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 9:37:39 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Let us immagine that I have a girl who has been sufficiently trained and tested to the point where she has been removed from a House Collar and placed in my personal collar. Her service and my pride in her service renges from, but not exclusively, her daily work/employment, her duties about the home, personal services to me (including sex as I desire), to her service to others (outside employment) with community assistance in any project I am interested in, serving others as dinners and other social occasions and should i decide, serving others sexually, all to the best of her ability. None of this devalues her in my eyes, but infact increases her value as a slave and my pride in her abilities. In the words of some one I know: "I will strip where, how, when, where and before whom my Master commands. I will be a whore and fuck where, when, how and whom my Master commands me to and I will be proud to honour him by doing so." That personally there would be few people I'd sexually share a girl in my personal collar with, I'd happily display her nakid at any suitable event, provided she was safe in doing so.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to starshineowned)

Post #: 72

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 9:51:07 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

to the best of my knowledge....

em and i were referring to several posts that came about BEFORE your post on aging...if you look at the quote boxes.

okay pink, i went back and reread just to make sure i was absolutely correct in that.
and indeed i am...my post that you quoted was in re to stef, nakedonmychain and lady albatross.

it didnt have anything at all to do w/ you and i am quite baffled as to why you think i meant you?

fyreredsub

fyreredsub; am not aware of those little messages on the bottom of a post. i thought ya were replying to me because we had been discussing aging. Sorry if i interrupted.

candystripper

no problem pink. i was just baffled as to why you would think that i took your posting as an insult. it takes far more than something as a posting of opinions of others to insult this ole girl,lol. no interruptions at all and there is no apology necessary.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 73

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 9:56:26 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: starshineowned

quote:

What does any of that have to do with Ds relationships

Perhaps it's just the mere fact that this seems to be the setting we are involved with.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

let's not forget the fact alot of people do come to this lifestyle to heal old wounds,in some manner..
i for one thought i would make a great domina b/c of past issues and so did my ex boy but we found i am not sadistic at all. which was rather surprising to us both at the time.
so for me in some ways topping did help me overcome some past wounds and to experience new and delightful things and leave me w/ a desire to learn so much more.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to starshineowned)

Post #: 74

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 10:20:01 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsu
let's not forget the fact alot of people do come to this lifestyle to heal old wounds,in some manner..

True, but that's also why some people join a new religion, go back to school, get married, change careers, move, or any other life transition.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 75

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 12:27:18 PM

kinkiminx

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/5/2005
From: Brighton, Sussex, UK
Status: offline

Though soft limits might be due to a sub being shy or nervous about something that they otherwise might enjoy, some limits are there for a reason, things that might deeply upset someone or physically injure them, some are things that someone really doesn't like, and although these might be possible to push, why would anyone really want to push someone to do things they hate doing?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Belladonna82
With Soft limits they are just things that make the slave a little uncomfortable...like poly or swinging.

For some, these *are* hard limits. Not everyone *can* have non-monogamous relationships. It's a wiring thing.

Just what i thought when i read that! Hard limits are as different as people are. swinging or breath control have never been hard limits for me, but poly is, and i know it always will be because of the way i feel about D/s and relationships in general. slaves are still people, and i can probably imagine myself walking out on a poly situation if it was ever pushed. -its all individual.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)

Post #: 76

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 12:40:17 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Kinkiminx,

LOVE your picture!

chymes

(in reply to kinkiminx)

Post #: 77

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/6/2005 2:13:42 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

True, but that's also why some people join a new religion, go back to school, get married, change careers, move, or any other life transition.

I think that the point is that, though they could use any of the tools you've mentioned, THIS is the tool that we, in this venue, are discussing and share, commonly, as a point of connection (regardless of how we -express- that commonality). I think that the point is that, if you have these issues and want to know if there is a chance for them to heal, here are some examples of how some really intense and highly charged issues -have- been resolved through growth in this lifestyle. It may not be relevent for some, but that's ok. There are a lot of posts here that aren't relevent for me, and I don't comment on them, so if it isn't relevent, there's no need to remark...but if it -is- something that has been running through someone's mind, here are some thoughts on the issue that might be worth considering.

Lady Zephyr

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 78

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/7/2005 7:51:44 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

no problem pink. i was just baffled as to why you would think that i took your posting as an insult. it takes far more than something as a posting of opinions of others to insult this ole girl,lol. no interruptions at all and there is no apology necessary.

fyreredsub

Yours is one of the kindest voices here; i never felt insulted, dear.

candystripper

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 79

RE: Emotional Boundries - 11/7/2005 8:42:54 AM

Soulhuntre

Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist
Is that comment really called for? What does her age have to do with her intolerant remarks? You can be 75 and a half and still be intolerant.

I find it amusing how often folks will fall back on some sort of age based attack when they don't have a whole lot to add or want to try and score a fast point.

Because we all know that no one under 24 has ever said or done anything important, ever should intelligence, tolerance or wisdom. Oh, wait - thats entirely untrue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
Calm your pretty head, precious. I was only trying to make a point.

Well, you probably made one that was different from the one you intended :)

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

Post #: 80

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