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Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 10:57:58 AM   
chickpea


Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline 		Doms are always complaining about subs not acting submissive, not having this or that quality, before they even look in the mirror.  So my question is, can you submit to someone you don't respect?

Respect = you hold reverence to them for the way they act.




_____________________________

Congrats to both In the end it was win-win. Now let's get to work http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/nov/05/john-mccain-concedes-election http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/17/transition.wrap/index.html
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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:01:35 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Why would I?

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:03:44 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

Doms are always complaining about subs not acting submissive, not having this or that quality, before they even look in the mirror.  So my question is, can you submit to someone you don't respect?

Respect = you hold reverence to them for the way they act.





No, couldn't, wouldn't, don't see the point.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:04:51 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		People do it every day.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:10:03 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I take it you have never worked a day job?

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:10:15 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Now wouldn't that make an interesting scenerio..having the instinct or ability to submit to someone you disrespect or even despise.  It would take some sort of offbeat mentality, I suppose it IS possible. Yet if so, (in the most drastic of circumstances) in that case it would just be called Stockholm syndrome.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:11:07 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		It's True if you work you submit and I have only had one boss in my whole life that I respected.

Now the Surrender aspect of this spectrum is a whole different question all together and I don't actually think it is possible in the terms of how we view modern slavery, but if the slavery were non-consentual I believe over time one could be broken like a hores and surrender out of lack of drive to not.

Did that make sense?

Steel

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:11:12 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		no i couldn't....i don't hang out with people i don't respect, why would i submit to one?

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:11:23 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Not sexually but otherwise yup. I do it all the time. Especially when I used to be able to work lol.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:12:05 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		hello chickpea,

What is disrespect?  How deeply does it go?  What does submit mean? 

People are complex creatures and to turn things into simple yes or no, black or white, ignores that.  Depending on one's own state of mind and neediness, sometimes our inhibitions and sense slide on out the door... and we get fulfilled for the moment... by whom, it doesn't matter.

In a perfect world, when feeling in tune and clear... who is worthy of disrespect?  and who am I to judge?

But generally, no I wouldn't, but I have at times and as I learn more of me those times are fewer and further between... and the level of "disrespect" is smaller ...

peace and passion,
sunshine


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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:15:48 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Not in the sense we mean it here.  Its pretty much an absolute nope, not a chance. 

I may do what somebody wants because its expediant, but thats not the same as submission.  Physically, I'm easily overpowered, and I can be cowed, manipulated, scared and deceived into compliance.  But, thats not submission.

For me, respect creates the conditions for voluntary submission.


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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:17:29 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

It's True if you work you submit


Its really hard for me to stay at a job working for someone I don't respect.  It makes me feel like a cheap sell out.


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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:22:30 AM   
chickpea


Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

hello chickpea,

What is disrespect?  How deeply does it go?  What does submit mean? 

People are complex creatures and to turn things into simple yes or no, black or white, ignores that.  Depending on one's own state of mind and neediness, sometimes our inhibitions and sense slide on out the door... and we get fulfilled for the moment... by whom, it doesn't matter.

In a perfect world, when feeling in tune and clear... who is worthy of disrespect?  and who am I to judge?

But generally, no I wouldn't, but I have at times and as I learn more of me those times are fewer and further between... and the level of "disrespect" is smaller ...

peace and passion,
sunshine



If they violate rules of common decency...and for whatever reason, like for instance, they're bitter at an ex, and want to treat the new person in their life the same way the ex treated them, or cuz it makes them feel empowered like a macho man that doesn't put up with the menial lowly needs of women.  (They need not be a mass murderer) 

If they do things that aren't upto par with what your individual values.  Like if they don't take care of their mom who's sick, and think it to be a burden.  When someone values respecting elders and helping those out that raised you as a kid.

And, I'm talking about a relationship where Doms are doms and need some sort of gimmick besides the bi-weekly paycheck for those living paycheck to paycheck. 


_____________________________

Congrats to both In the end it was win-win. Now let's get to work http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/nov/05/john-mccain-concedes-election http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/17/transition.wrap/index.html

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:23:37 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I could submit to someone I didn't respect ... but I could never be Owned by someone I didn't respect. It took me a *long* time to find someone who inspired full blown doormattiness in me, and right at the foundation of my doormattiness is the fact that I have profound respect for my Owner.

I could be ordered to go and serve Mistress X ... even though Mistress X is a prancing moronic bimbo with about as much actual Dominance as my left big toe (which isn't all that Dominant) ... I would still submit to her, because that is what I had been instructed to do. even though I no respect for her whatsoever Not only would I submit .. I would make the moronic cow believe I though she was the mother fucking Princess of Mistresses.

I am slave meat, I love being slave meat, it makes me happy. That means I would submit to the whim of a gerbil if thats what would please my Owner.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:25:33 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		only if I was getting paid

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:27:57 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

only if I was getting paid


laughs ... yeah .. almost anything can become sufferable for a generous hourly rate


_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:31:54 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I don't condiser it a submission when i work i condiser it a need.  I could work for someone i did not respect i guess ( i respected all my old bosses)  I coud not submit to a person i did not respect.  As blushes said why would i?

Matt's littleone

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:37:35 AM   
DaddyDomsgirl


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		most of my old Bosses i respected.....but as for submitting to someone i disrespected......i couldn't do it......the way i see it is...if there is no respect then what is there?.....how can you put your trust in someone if you don't respect them?.....how can you wear someone's collar if there is no respect?....how can you give your body over to another without respect?

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 11:52:19 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		As in to a partner? Absolutely not.

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

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"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 12:05:24 PM   
chickpea


Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline
Thanks for all the feedback!

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I could submit to someone I didn't respect ... but I could never be Owned by someone I didn't respect. It took me a *long* time to find someone who inspired full blown doormattiness in me, and right at the foundation of my doormattiness is the fact that I have profound respect for my Owner.


oh my god, i know what you mean!  It's like the way the Dominant is or acts, just opens doors in your heart, where you are *inspired* to be the best. :D  There's no longer resistance, and you just let the submission and happiness flow...and things just happen!  almost anything!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

As in to a partner? Absolutely not.


Yes, a partner!  I'm not talking about bosses at work
One Dom I disrespect are the "instant Doms"...doms wanting subs to act so perfectly submissive, with no history or no matter how stupid or bone-headed or un-respectable they act... then they don't look in the mirror and claim that the sub not really acting like a sub is some sort of genetic flaw or deep-huge personality chasm that can never change.  *eye roll* 

Another is, the "fake Doms" that put on a performance, just go through the motions of being a good Dom just to get the sub to reciprocate on a surficial level, yet there's nothing really beyond wanting a proper reaction from the sub and there's nothing deeper behind their seemingly admirable actions where they truely understand, value and really know the importance of the way they act. 

So my other question is, can you submit to a Dom that acts perfectly in a BDSM way (comforts the sub, lets the sub open up, acts safely during play, etc..), yet who he is as a person or what he's done in other areas of his life you dislike and don't respect?



< Message edited by chickpea -- 6/26/2008 12:08:21 PM >

_____________________________

Congrats to both In the end it was win-win. Now let's get to work http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/nov/05/john-mccain-concedes-election http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/17/transition.wrap/index.html

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