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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 12:09:51 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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quote:

So my other question is, can you submit to a Dom that acts perfectly in a BDSM way (comforts the sub, lets the sub open up, acts safely during play, etc..), yet who he is as a person or what he's done in other areas of his life you dislike and don't respect?

definately no.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 12:10:56 PM

Leatherist

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I understand the feeling. I could not dominate someone who's life was a mess-or showed *present* signs of irresponsibility and unethical behaviors. I also realize that people can change-and that the past is not going to be thier future by default.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 12:19:18 PM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea
So my other question is, can you submit to a Dom that acts perfectly in a BDSM way (comforts the sub, lets the sub open up, acts safely during play, etc..), yet who he is as a person or what he's done in other areas of his life you dislike and don't respect?

Now that depends on what it is. If it's something that I merely dislike but doesn't conflict with my own code, principles or integrity then yes I can. I can't expect someone else to have all the same likes as myself. I'm not into sports for instance, but I can submit to a man who is. Differing likes don't impact respect. Now if it is something that I am morally or ethically opposed to....say he is a liar, a cheat...or maybe he is abusive to animals....then no I could not.

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~erin~

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 12:20:03 PM

lovingdomwanted

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Joined: 6/14/2007
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No, I have to respect The Dom........My Safety is in his hands.

Same as I wouldn't ask Count Dracula to bring a unit of blood to my ward for a dying patient and expect him to deliver it without taking a guzzle.....lol

xxxx

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 12:52:27 PM

Daes

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If I dont have enough respect/trust (they go hand in hand), I can't submit or obey, in this case if my partner is trying to get me to do something and I don't want to do it, I will be adamant about it. I'm more sarcastic and dismissive of his antics and the more he pushes the more i will push back. It becomes a lose lose situation if he doesnt Get that I do not want to submit to him and I have to point it out. Hopefully he'll understand and back off or Ill end up leaving.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 1:35:27 PM

gypsygrl

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quote:

Now if it is something that I am morally or ethically opposed to....say he is a liar, a cheat...or maybe he is abusive to animals....then no I could not.

When push comes to shove, this is what it comes down to for me. I can take a lot of poor treatment, but if he's mistreating others, I'm like, um...can't stand by idly and watch that. Because it makes me complicitous.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 1:46:59 PM

pixidustpet

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i had to think about this question.

yes i can. and yes i have. i submitted to my husband even though he scorned my waiting on him, and didnt want me to...but complained if i didnt. and after years of this, i still loved him but no longer respected him.

kitten

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 1:49:05 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I could submit to someone I didn't respect ... but I could never be Owned by someone I didn't respect. It took me a *long* time to find someone who inspired full blown doormattiness in me, and right at the foundation of my doormattiness is the fact that I have profound respect for my Owner.

I could be ordered to go and serve Mistress X ... even though Mistress X is a prancing moronic bimbo with about as much actual Dominance as my left big toe (which isn't all that Dominant) ... I would still submit to her, because that is what I had been instructed to do. even though I no respect for her whatsoever Not only would I submit .. I would make the moronic cow believe I though she was the mother fucking Princess of Mistresses.

I am slave meat, I love being slave meat, it makes me happy. That means I would submit to the whim of a gerbil if thats what would please my Owner.

In this case, I would still be submitting to my own Master who has already earned my respect. Were he to send me off in service to someone for whom I had no respect, it doesn't change the facts of my submission. For me, being of service to another at the command of Himself is not submission to 'them' but to him.

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He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 2:14:57 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

Doms are always complaining about subs not acting submissive, not having this or that quality, before they even look in the mirror. So my question is, can you submit to someone you don't respect?

Respect = you hold reverence to them for the way they act.

I do not want to own anyone, that I do not trust and respect.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 2:18:54 PM

softness

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From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I could submit to someone I didn't respect ... but I could never be Owned by someone I didn't respect. It took me a *long* time to find someone who inspired full blown doormattiness in me, and right at the foundation of my doormattiness is the fact that I have profound respect for my Owner.

I could be ordered to go and serve Mistress X ... even though Mistress X is a prancing moronic bimbo with about as much actual Dominance as my left big toe (which isn't all that Dominant) ... I would still submit to her, because that is what I had been instructed to do. even though I no respect for her whatsoever Not only would I submit .. I would make the moronic cow believe I though she was the mother fucking Princess of Mistresses.

I am slave meat, I love being slave meat, it makes me happy. That means I would submit to the whim of a gerbil if thats what would please my Owner.

In this case, I would still be submitting to my own Master who has already earned my respect. Were he to send me off in service to someone for whom I had no respect, it doesn't change the facts of my submission. For me, being of service to another at the command of Himself is not submission to 'them' but to him.

Yes I agree .. submission to Him from a postion of removal. In a vaguely similar way (I would imagine) an Owner might feel Dominance at a remove if their submissive had a submissive/pet/toy

I have a suspicion that if I were sent off to submit to someone I had no respect for my feelings towards them would be exploited (emotional S&M potential here is huge).

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 2:24:51 PM

daddysliloneds

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nope, but truth be told, i have bottomed to some that i haven't respected because they were a good fuck or for other selfish reasons...

in those cases, i did it 100% for me and nothing else!

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 2:39:02 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
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quote:

I could submit to someone I didn't respect ... but I could never be Owned by someone I didn't respect. It took me a *long* time to find someone who inspired full blown doormattiness in me, and right at the foundation of my doormattiness is the fact that I have profound respect for my Owner. I could be ordered to go and serve Mistress X ... even though Mistress X is a prancing moronic bimbo with about as much actual Dominance as my left big toe (which isn't all that Dominant) ... I would still submit to her, because that is what I had been instructed to do. even though I no respect for her whatsoever Not only would I submit .. I would make the moronic cow believe I though she was the mother fucking Princess of Mistresses.

softness, I only barely disagree. I could not even bottom to someone that I did not basicly respect, though the respect must get deeper as the submission gets deeper. To offer myself over as property, I must deeply respect.
So, my disagreement is, imo, in your scenario, i would not be submitting to Mistress X princess of moronic cows. Nor to the gerbil, for that matter. I would be submitting to Master.
If he told me to walk up and down the street dressed like the slut i am, and give a blow job to anyone who had the balls to proposition me (recently saw a slave post - don't know if it was on CM or another board, that that was a routine rule in her life) - I would not be submitting to the random strangers i gave a bj to. I would be submitting to Master. If Master decided to do K9, it would not be a matter of submitting to some animal, it would be submission to Master. Everything i do is submission to Master. He is an extenstion of the Diving. (And he is home!!

gg - before He catches me waxing gaagaa over Him!)

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 3:05:26 PM

Sandyshores29718

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*fast reply*

No. If I dont respect them then I dont trust them.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 3:19:13 PM

XaviersXian

Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
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greetings to all,

I am an owned slave. When sent to serve another person, I submit to my Master, not to the person He sends me to (unless He specifies the other person may have control over me..in which case, the level of control allowed is decided between Master and the other person). It is as simple as that. My own feelings of respecting (or disrespecting) the person don't come into it. I think of myself as a vessel for Master's pleasure...the rest is irrelevant.

well wishes,

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 4:22:25 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

If they violate rules of common decency...and for whatever reason, like for instance, they're bitter at an ex, and want to treat the new person in their life the same way the ex treated them, or cuz it makes them feel empowered like a macho man that doesn't put up with the menial lowly needs of women. (They need not be a mass murderer)

If they do things that aren't upto par with what your individual values. Like if they don't take care of their mom who's sick, and think it to be a burden. When someone values respecting elders and helping those out that raised you as a kid.

And, I'm talking about a relationship where Doms are doms and need some sort of gimmick besides the bi-weekly paycheck for those living paycheck to paycheck.

Chickpea hello,
thank you for clarifying. Hmmm, well this presumes I know them well enough to have this information about them. And in that case, most likely no. If you are talking long term submitting, heavens no. But if it's playing at a play party, well, I may not have that level of info about them.

Possibly the most important thing in submission is trust. The type of person you are speaking of is not trustworthy in my opinion, cannot see what is in front of them, has not mastered him/herself. And if they don't master themselves, they can't master me. If they can't master me, I won't frustrate myself by submitting to them.

peace and passion,
sunshine

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 4:40:37 PM

DesFIP

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I don't submit outside of a relationship. And I don't have relationships with people I do not sincerely admire, like and respect on multiple levels. So I couldn't.

However if it was a casual relationship, then why not. I wouldn't have to talk politics with him or umrearing philosophies or anything else. It could be just usage, on both sides.

With that said, I disagree that any dom who just wants things to go well on the surface is by definition a fake. Some people are in this for emotional transparency, some for obedience, some for service. None of those motives are wrong ones. Whatever happened to make you consider someone who goes for obedience to be shallow is as much your fault as his. If you had spoken up in the beginning needing emotional transparency then you probably wouldn't have wound up with an obedience type. Mind reading is not something that either side of the slash should be expected to do.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 4:43:37 PM

Kalista07

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can i submit to someone i didn't respect? Are You purely asking if i have the capacity, because yes...i believe i do have the capacity... However, if i were able to do that i firmly believe a part of me would die in the process. Fortunately for me, i'm with someone who does not want a blow up doll fantasy slave.
Kali

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 5:01:18 PM

kiwisub12

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thankfully for me, if they are that bad in aspects of their life, my Sir wouldn't want me to have anything to do with them.

for myself if they have personality issues in areas other than bdsm, i would have problems with them. I have to respect the totality of the person.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 6:00:03 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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NO.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you disrespect? - 6/26/2008 7:47:43 PM

goodpet