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The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:31:20 PM   
pinnipedster


Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		One of the things I personally find a little odd -- admittedly as a person with relatively little experience in the BDSM scene -- is that there often seems to be relatively little bondage in it.  At least, the dommes I have played with seem to generally use it rather minimally, and there hasn't been a whole lot at the play parties I have been to (which have mostly been femdom-oriented).

I personally really enjoy being bound, and would like to experience a lot more of it, in frequency, variety, and duration.  I don't necessarily even have to have much done to me while bound; just the experience would be enough.  (Though being at least mildly teased and tormented in certainly a nice addition.) 

It seems like almost a niche kind of thing, with most people much more into things like flogging.  Aside from perhaps the shibari fans.  And understandably, they seem to strongly prefer female victims/models.  Were I female and twenty or twenty-five years younger, my ambition would be to model for the House of Gord site...oh. my. god. 

So, am I kind of out there on this one?  Or am I just finding the wrong people, or the wrong circumstances?  Or is it more of a male dom thing?  Just curious what others have experienced.
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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:32:27 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Bondage has always been my biggest thing-actual physical control. Role playing and posturing-not so much.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:36:00 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		The rope, like the truth, is out there.  You're bound to run into it.



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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:36:01 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Bondage at play parties is not as prevalent as it is in face to face private encounters. Flogging makes for a better public exhibition, and you need less trust to allow someone to hit you than you do to allow someone to immobalize you. 
Personally, I am a fan of bondage and I am learning shibari.  I am not god with rope YET, but that is not the only sort of bondage that can be done.   I like cuffs, mancles,  simple rope tiedowns... not necessarily completely unable to move, but definately restricted.

Maybe you need to look more into those interested in bondage specifically, and less what you are seeing at play parties.

--all opinions stated are my own and not meaning to sound like fact, if they are percieved as such--

DV

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:38:57 PM   
WarriorsGirl


Posts: 20
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		I like bondage purely for the physical sensation, not for the "captive" aspect.  I like metal and other hard materials against my body.  Being bound with a scarf just doesn't do it. 

I have a hard time getting past, though, the "captive" part of it and knowing it's just not true.  We both know I don't have to be there if I don't want to be, so to be bound up ....as if I'm really going to go somewhere and not sit there and take it....sometimes it rings false to me. 

I like it.  I love it.  I like the hard, cold, pressure against me, or the digging into me, or whatever might be happening.  But my liking it doesn't really have much to do with my being submissive. 


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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:47:11 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I have seen the same thing as you have. Very little to no bondage at any of the play parties I have been to. Lots of floggers and little else.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:47:57 PM   
Floggings4You


Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		W/we've definitely noticed!
 
My submissive and I (granted, she's a she) enjoy bondage very much.  I like rope, she loves chain.  I've learned some elaborate methods for binding her wrists, ankles, and waist, often including metal rings in the rope weavings so that she can be at least partially suspended.  W/we're working towards full-suspension, but don't feel W/we know enough, yet, to do that safely.
 
W/we attended a three-day, two-night BDSM campout a few weeks ago sponsored by a local fetish club, and W/we noticed that almost none of the attendees seemed interested in bondage.  I wove a set of rope corsets for her forearms, complete with five 1-inch rings per wrist--which received numerous admiring comments--but no one else did much more than use a pair of basic leather cuffs to attach a submissive to a cross.  Even the submissives who were kneeling over spanking benches--which were chock-full-of attachment points--were rarely bound to the furniture... 

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:49:15 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		Bondage takes work - and sometimes, I just want to get to the part where I have a boy in tears grovelling at my feet.  I jokingly say I am Shibari impaired.  Plus, I don't want to drag a bunch of heavy shackles around.  I do carry several sizes of industrial shrink wrap - good for so many uses.  You do need to communicate to the people you play with that you really enjoy being bound and prefer it to other activities - at least for me, knowing what a sub at a play party is into helps me.  If I knew I could hogtie you and let you loll about on the floor while I worked over another with a flogger - it would be great fun to me - I love to multi-task.

My question is this.  As a piniped, isn't it hard to bind your flippers?

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:53:37 PM   
hardbodysub


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Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Racquelle

Bondage takes work - and sometimes, I just want to get to the part where I have a boy in tears grovelling at my feet.  I jokingly say I am Shibari impaired.  Plus, I don't want to drag a bunch of heavy shackles around.  I do carry several sizes of industrial shrink wrap - good for so many uses.  You do need to communicate to the people you play with that you really enjoy being bound and prefer it to other activities - at least for me, knowing what a sub at a play party is into helps me.  If I knew I could hogtie you and let you loll about on the floor while I worked over another with a flogger - it would be great fun to me - I love to multi-task.

My question is this.  As a piniped, isn't it hard to bind your flippers?



Try leather cuffs, they're a lot easier and quicker to use than rope. You'll have him at your mercy in seconds.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:56:03 PM   
RedMagic1


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Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I've heard the OP's complaint from female rope bottoms, too.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 8:56:56 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		Leather cuffs are heavy.  Consider, of course, I am waiting to have shoulder surgery, so sometimes my car keys are too heavy.  I like "honor system bondage".

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:00:08 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I've heard the OP's complaint from female rope bottoms, too.


It's amazing, how few Tops know basic wraps and ties.  Then again, my first bottom was a girl who did shibari herself-and was learning it from a guy who runs a pro website about it.

I do rope for some stuff- other forms for other stuff. Depends on the time factor.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:03:54 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Steel is intense. I really need to make some padded stainless manacles next month.
 
I once knew a girl who was into the "anti houdini" stuff.
 
Her maxim was-"It's not really bondage until I say "Let me go"
 
You say "No"
 
And no amount of struggling on my part will make it otherwise.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:04:45 PM   
pinnipedster


Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

  You do need to communicate to the people you play with that you really enjoy being bound and prefer it to other activities - at least for me, knowing what a sub at a play party is into helps me.  If I knew I could hogtie you and let you loll about on the floor while I worked over another with a flogger - it would be great fun to me - I love to multi-task.


I have learned to emphasize that I am a big bondage fan, like it strict and prolonged, and don't require constant attention.  Hasn't helped much yet but then I haven't had that many opportunities.  Your scenario above would be exactly the sort of thing I would enjoy....the most disappointing thing is when they let me go far too soon...

(Last year, at a femdom retreat, after a discussion of ponyplay, one of the dommes put me in a bridle she had brought along and hitched me to a post.  But she only left me there a few minutes, as it was lunch time and she figured I was probably hungry.  One of the other ladies present -- who has known for some time I had had the ponyplay fantasy, and even asked me to deliver an impromptu lecutre about it -- said "Leave him there, he can eat any time; how often does he get to be a pony?" but she released me anyway.  Very disappointing...particularly when someone rememberd a bit later they had some leftover oatmeal from breakfast that would have made good pony food, if she was worried about me going hungry...)

(I've also posted in a personal ad that I would love to meet a "kinky, geeky girl" who would enjoy playing video games with me one night -- then the next night tying me up on the floor and using me to keep her feet warm while she played video games by herself....ah well. ;))

quote:

My question is this.  As a piniped, isn't it hard to bind your flippers?


See, the idea is to bind my arms and legs so that I'm no more mobile than I would be if I had flippers.

< Message edited by pinnipedster -- 6/29/2008 9:06:04 PM >

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:06:03 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		so b doesnt stand for boobage??? d doesnt stand for...eh..nm 

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:07:58 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Racquelle

My question is this.  As a piniped, isn't it hard to bind your flippers?



Stapler.

For the OP- i've certainly noticed the same trend... there isn't nearly enough B in BDSM, particularly on the FemDom side. i suspect i've started a similar thread in the past, from which i've learned that no matter what theory you propose to explain it, somebody's gonna complain. So it goes.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:09:25 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: Racquelle

My question is this.  As a piniped, isn't it hard to bind your flippers?



Stapler.

For the OP- i've certainly noticed the same trend... there isn't nearly enough B in BDSM, particularly on the FemDom side. i suspect i've started a similar thread in the past, from which i've learned that no matter what theory you propose to explain it, somebody's gonna complain. So it goes.



It's easy enough. It takes skill for one-money for the other. People are cheap and lazy.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:12:13 PM   
ToOwnATrueSlave


Posts: 262
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline 		Perhaps if you look at the B as not always refering to physical bondage but also to enclued bondage of ones soul or mental bondage such as speech restrictions you would see alot more of it...Just a thought though

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:13:07 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToOwnATrueSlave

Perhaps if you look at the B as not always refering to physical bondage but also to enclued bondage of ones soul or mental bondage such as speech restrictions you would see alot more of it...Just a thought though


protocol.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:19:45 PM   
scarlettjinx


Posts: 117
Joined: 3/14/2008
Status: offline 		I love just being tied up and left alone. I am not sure why, but it calms me down. In one previous vanilla relationship, when I had been under a lot of stress, would tie me up an the bed and then just go play video games or something. He knew being bound was so comforting to me that within ten minutes I would being sleeping deeply and peacefully. It has actually hendered my play with Papa, because he ties me up, and I get so relaxed that I have fallen asleep while he is spanking me. Not exactly the reaction Papa was going for. So no rope for me. Now it is all metal and plastics...

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