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RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 3:33:56 PM   
WhisperSupremacy


Posts: 74
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline 		I'm 28,....Damnit, starting to get old.  It sucks.

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 4:53:26 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinSoap

Not sure if we are allowed to talk about people going through puberty (ie: under 18) you might want to edit your post a little? But hey, not sure.


You know... I'd just like to point out, in accord with the Terms of Service of this site and every other site out there on the internet devoted to these topics, how grateful I am that no one under the age of 18 has ever had deep or important questions about BDSM safety or emotional health, that no one under the 18 is having sex, and that everyone waits until their appropriate age of majority (which thankfully is 18 in every state of the union, and every nation of the world) before engaging in any of the sorts of activities that we find useful or important, here. Otherwise someone might have to lie about their age to get any sort of useful peer group, and who knows what kinds of neurotic behaviors that might entail.

(in reply to SinSoap)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 5:01:53 PM   
Daddystouch


Posts: 162
Joined: 10/20/2006
From: South East England
Status: offline 		Well said.

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What men in all the world have shown such daring?

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RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 5:03:48 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		Have you actually done a search of 18,19, 20 etc year olds? There is a plethora here.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to Gorgias)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 5:05:52 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

Have you actually done a search of 18,19, 20 etc year olds? There is a plethora here.

That was what I was thinking too......


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 5:15:44 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Also, I think you may have answered your own question somewhat, OP: as you noted, a great many of the younger people in the BDSM scene have grown up with the internet, and have adopted to every trendy new change in it.... maybe all the TNG folk are hanging out in  Second Life, or whatever it's equivilent du jour is...

Maybe the problem is, you're not "hip and trendy" enough? LOL

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 5:21:05 PM   
NormalOutside


Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gorgias

Not that I mind older doms; I'm 19 and my current one is 41.  Something sexy about that imbalance, in fact.  But I'm still scratching my head.  This is the time we should have more people entering the community than ever.

My generation was the first to have access to the internet when we hit puberty, hence an availability of pornography.  Now, I'm not saying that looking at this sort of porn will turn you into a dom or a sub, but it will certainly make you aware of your own desires, and probably stoke them so you're more likely to pursue them.  I can say for sure that I wouldn't be in the lifestyle if it wasn't for collarme.  Moreover, I'd expect an influx of young people hitting puberty, wondering WTF is going on with their sexuality, and joining forums like this one for advice; lord knows the gay forums are full of teenagers coming to grips with their sexuality.

So why isn't it happening here?



Good post, and good question.  My girl is 19 (I'm 33) and she's like you - she got the internet in her frickin BEDROOM at 11, and her parents even put a lock on her bedroom door for her.  So she figured out what she'd been craving all those years pretty quickly.

I too would expect (and like) to see far more young people interested in the lifestyle and in D/s.

(in reply to Gorgias)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 5:30:28 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gorgias

Not that I mind older doms; I'm 19 and my current one is 41.  Something sexy about that imbalance, in fact.  But I'm still scratching my head.  This is the time we should have more people entering the community than ever.

My generation was the first to have access to the internet when we hit puberty, hence an availability of pornography.  Now, I'm not saying that looking at this sort of porn will turn you into a dom or a sub, but it will certainly make you aware of your own desires, and probably stoke them so you're more likely to pursue them.  I can say for sure that I wouldn't be in the lifestyle if it wasn't for collarme.  Moreover, I'd expect an influx of young people hitting puberty, wondering WTF is going on with their sexuality, and joining forums like this one for advice; lord knows the gay forums are full of teenagers coming to grips with their sexuality.

So why isn't it happening here?



I have a few speculations... but they are only that, speculations...

a)  The young people... especially doms... are seriously discriminated against.  If I were a younger dom, I don't think I'd be calling attention to that fact on this site.
b)  The influx from the internet that you are speaking of is also discriminated against in a variety of ways on this (and other) sites.  God forbid that you might've been introduced to BDSM online (as I was),  Many will tell you that such experience means nothing.  I think a lot of the younger people you are referring to probably also have some sort of "experience" in second life, chat rooms, or god knows what else... all of which is seriously maligned here.

In short, I think what you are speculating IS happening -- and not just with young people. I'm 44 and I was introduced to this whole mess via the internet.  But sites like this that wish to hang onto the old, pre-internet "good ol' days" are going to mostly miss out on it.  My own suspicion is that the BDSM "scene" such as it is, is going ot find itself completely overtaken with a newer "scene" and the "old timers" won't even know what happened because they deliberately weren't looking.  That's ok though, they can go the way of old timers through time.. muttering to themselves about "kids nowadays" and "the good old days".  If you want to see it in action, visit second life.  For all it's warts, you'll find a ton of younger people exploring and experimenting there.  Some of those people will make the leap to real life.

(in reply to Gorgias)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 9:02:32 PM   
MisterBeast


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

sire
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Younger people, much like older people, get told "shut up" or "you can't possibly know anything" or "you just are too X" constantly in the BDSM world.... I've seen it over and over and over again.

When that happens often enough, folks withdraw or found their own communities.

Then everyone will lose because we have less experiences to share and less knowledge to circulate.

Age does not equal knowledge or desire and it may or may not reflect experience in BDSM.


Now now now, that would kind of insinuate that BDSM in some ways is a pissong contest between a bunch of Dominant men fighting over the submissive females. And we know that never happens... Ever. right?


_____________________________

"I’ve seen what is coming, I put myself inside his head, I’ve become the thing we fear the most, I’ve become capable of becoming the horror that we know we can become only in our heart of darkness, my gift my curse."

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 9:04:11 PM   
MisterBeast


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhisperSupremacy

I'm 28,....Damnit, starting to get old.  It sucks.



Not me man, I am looking forward to being a dirty old man!


_____________________________

"I’ve seen what is coming, I put myself inside his head, I’ve become the thing we fear the most, I’ve become capable of becoming the horror that we know we can become only in our heart of darkness, my gift my curse."

(in reply to WhisperSupremacy)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 10:13:13 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhisperSupremacy

I'm 28,....Damnit, starting to get old.  It sucks.


18-24 only gramps.


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all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 10:15:57 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

Also, I think you may have answered your own question somewhat, OP: as you noted, a great many of the younger people in the BDSM scene have grown up with the internet, and have adopted to every trendy new change in it.... maybe all the TNG folk are hanging out in  Second Life, or whatever it's equivilent du jour is...

Maybe the problem is, you're not "hip and trendy" enough? LOL


sounds like someone's upset dungeons and dragons is no longer in vogue.


_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 10:18:39 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhisperSupremacy

I'm 28,....Damnit, starting to get old.  It sucks.


geesh, guess i should get my cane out and the blue hair tint...

-grannyc

_____________________________

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http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 10:19:49 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

I too would expect (and like) to see far more young people interested in the lifestyle and in D/s.
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527



a)  The young people... especially doms... are seriously discriminated against.  If I were a younger dom, I don't think I'd be calling attention to that fact on this site.


since when has being talked down to by the elders ever discouraged young upstarts?

quote:

My own suspicion is that the BDSM "scene" such as it is, is going ot find itself completely overtaken with a newer "scene" and the "old timers" won't even know what happened because they deliberately weren't looking.  That's ok though, they can go the way of old timers through time.. muttering to themselves about "kids nowadays" and "the good old days".


there's solace in the fact that we are damned to the same fate.


_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/12/2008 11:01:00 PM   
arkitain


Posts: 22
Joined: 5/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30
sounds like someone's upset dungeons and dragons is no longer in vogue.


What do you mean?  Fourth Ed just got released!

I mean... uh... nothing...  *Cough*

Back on topic, I don't have much more to add.  Although, I imagine a lot of the young people get intimidated, especially when going to their first real life event, by the sheer age gaps.  I was lucky enough to find a TNG event as my first to ease me into the whole thing, but my first unrestricted play night at the Crucible was rather eye opening.  If I hadn't already known people there, very well might have fled and never looked back.  Oh, 24 here, just started going within the last year.

(in reply to variation30)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/13/2008 12:05:09 AM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR: Many metro areas have a "TNG" munch or online group for the 18-35 crowd. You want young, network young.

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/13/2008 12:34:52 AM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		I know I would love to get a TNG group together. Even though I play with older Doms, I still would like to have some friends closer to my age into the life.

Really, OP..Just start messaging people on CM closer to you and your age. Stating your looking for friends close to your age. You might be shocked in how friendly people can be.  Good luck

(in reply to DelilahDeb)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/13/2008 12:36:15 AM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline 		A question I have - what do you do when there is a TNG group, but you don't have much in common with them?

What do you do when you're about to transition out of the TNG range, but you have even less in common with the 40-somethings to 60-somethings?

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/13/2008 12:41:40 AM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		Find a group that works for you. I normally do not have a lot in common with people my own age, so going to the munch I do works. Just would like to meet someone closer to my age thats mature enough for me to get along. 

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Where are all the young people at? - 7/13/2008 7:35:19 AM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718
Find a group that works for you. I normally do not have a lot in common with people my own age, so going to the munch I do works. Just would like to meet someone closer to my age thats mature enough for me to get along. 


I disagree here; my primary area of discrimination is intelligence, so unless we have a BDSM gathering where the M stands for Mensa, I'm not likely to find a group I want to deal with in this context.  Even then, book smart and street smart are two different things, but I'll leave that for another thread...

Point being, I haven't found any sort of BDSM "group" I'm really interested in being part of, and I'm in freaking NYC.  If you are in, say, Tempe, I can't imagine your odds are going to be better than mine.

Some people just aren't going to fit with the established social norm.  I also know that the vast majority of my friends who are into BDSM have a similar revulsion towards the formal BDSM community; most of us want nothing to do with being publicly "out", and don't really like the "scene".  Sometimes you have to just quit worrying about groups and find your own path.


_____________________________

Send lawyers, guns, and money.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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