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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 1:50:41 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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earning that CM troublemaking merit badge is hard work, Katy

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 2:09:21 PM

stella41b

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There's not just fighting and nastiness here in BDSM, there's also hatred too.

Some years ago at a munch in Warsaw a Dom admitted to some of us that he had killed his female slave.

We couldn't believe it. But he claimed it was true, and that he would show us where he had buried her. So we followed him to his house. He led us through to the back garden. There sure enough was a large mound of earth, but from one side we could see her bottom sticking out.

We asked him why he had left her bottom sticking out.

"I need somewhere to park my bicycle," he explained.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 2:35:57 PM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT
Question:
How can we expect vanillas to respect us and our lifestyle when we don't respect EACH OTHER?

There is a post here that I replied to-and got several rude and nasty replies. Some though the nastiness was funny. The person who started the thread (not me) was quite upset at the rudeness.

Again I ask-If we treat each other like crap, how can we expect the non BDSMers to treat us any differently?

Have you ever heard of the saying: "You reap what you sow?" Next time-THINK about the seeds you are sowing.

Rudeness has no place here! ESPECIALLY here!

You working under the false assumption that poster here are actual BDSM participants. Many (most?) have never gotten beyond the one handed web surfing stage.

That said this is set up as a S/m site. Therefor you should expect some sadists looking for victims. You can either be one, leave, or enjoy the chum they create.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 2:46:44 PM

ThundersCry

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These boards are not for the weak and think skinned...

Get used to it....boss

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 3:30:33 PM

TheHeretic

Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Rudeness has no place here! ESPECIALLY here!

Oh, puh-lease. You're on a website full of sadists, and smart-ass masochists, not to mention independent minded folk who don't give a rat's ass about your individual ideas of proper decorum.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 3:37:32 PM

kc692

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Well put.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 3:43:19 PM

Aileen1968

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Rudeness has no place here! ESPECIALLY here!

Oh, puh-lease. You're on a website full of sadists, and smart-ass masochists, not to mention independent minded folk who don't give a rat's ass about your individual ideas of proper decorum.

No kumbaya????

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 3:58:10 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Question:

How can we expect vanillas to respect us and our lifestyle when we don't respect EACH OTHER?

There is a post here that I replied to-and got several rude and nasty replies. Some though the nastiness was funny. The person who started the thread (not me) was quite upset at the rudeness.

Again I ask-If we treat each other like crap, how can we expect the non BDSMers to treat us any differently?

Have you ever heard of the saying: "You reap what you sow?" Next time-THINK about the seeds you are sowing.

Rudeness has no place here! ESPECIALLY here!

This is a public *discussion* Forum, not some therapy group of back-slapping, "can't we all just get a long" group huggers, for cryin' out loud!

And I agree with Winsome - you're not above making provocative statements at people and, like any coward, you're not to be seen again when someone calls you on it. Maybe this time, since it is *your* thread? I'm not holding my breath....

Overall, you get what you give in all walks of life and I find it very hard to believe you're only having this trouble with people here....

Focus.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 5:03:00 PM

DesFIP

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Here is the same as everywhere else because it's composed of the same people you see in a grocery store, PTA meetings, offices, bowling alleys.

They're all composed of people. Imagine that. And it is well known that some people have less tolerance for fools than others. And that some people believe in tough love while others don't.

What's rude to you may well just be blunt to me. But if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Old advice and still applicable.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 5:44:18 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Question:

How can we expect vanillas to respect us and our lifestyle when we don't respect EACH OTHER?

There is a post here that I replied to-and got several rude and nasty replies. Some though the nastiness was funny. The person who started the thread (not me) was quite upset at the rudeness.

Again I ask-If we treat each other like crap, how can we expect the non BDSMers to treat us any differently?

Have you ever heard of the saying: "You reap what you sow?" Next time-THINK about the seeds you are sowing.

Rudeness has no place here! ESPECIALLY here!

and the whole point of this is?

I really hate whiners

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 5:51:56 PM

LadyPact

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I have to do it. I'm trying to resist, but I'm used to getting My own way.

I fully agree. Why should the vanilla folks respect us? Exactly what is it that we are doing that we would have earned that respect? Are we doing something that might be admirable?

The same goes amongst ourselves. Just because a person happens to be kinky, and I happen to be kinky, doesn't mean they've earned My respect, or I've earned theirs. Actually, I tend to laugh because people often think that, just because this is a kink site, that everybody and everything that they want to do should be accepted, and respected, just because we are kinky people here. It really doesn't work that way. I'm sure plenty of people can think of threads where they've seen this at work.

Common courtesy is the best you can hope for. You won't always get it.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 6:42:23 PM

OldBastardly1

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Very well stated, LP.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 6:43:58 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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My sentiments are that just because everyone else is being rude, that doesn't mean I have to be rude as well. This doesn't mean I don't argue my points (quite vehemently at times), but it does mean that I stick to arguing the point...not rudely cutting down a person.

I think that society, in general, has reached a point where we no longer expect good manners when dealing with strangers. We talk about needing to "earn" respect... and that may be true, but "common courtesy" is called "common" for a reason -- it is the most basic level of acknowledgement that the person that one is speaking with on this electronic medium is, in fact, a living, breathing, thinking (most of the time) human with whom one must share a planet -- and that, in itself, is sufficient to keep us "greasing the wheels of society", to paraphrase Robert Heinlein.

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

i agree with Aileen. Rudeness is in all areas...we are not immune. Just ignore it to the best of your ability.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 6:54:41 PM

Missokyst

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I don't "expect" anything. If people are rude I move on to talk to someone else. It wouldnt matter if it was bdsm or nilla.
I may engage in bdsm, but it isnt a society of unity. We are all people, all human, all with different personalities which either gel with ours, or not. It is a life thing.
Kyst

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 8:16:39 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

Very well stated, LP.

Thank you. As a side note, I can't wait to have the opportunity to get to CAP again.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/12/2008 9:55:28 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

There's not just fighting and nastiness here in BDSM, there's also hatred too.

Some years ago at a munch in Warsaw a Dom admitted to some of us that he had killed his female slave.

We couldn't believe it. But he claimed it was true, and that he would show us where he had buried her. So we followed him to his house. He led us through to the back garden. There sure enough was a large mound of earth, but from one side we could see her bottom sticking out.

We asked him why he had left her bottom sticking out.

"I need somewhere to park my bicycle," he explained.

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/13/2008 12:58:47 AM

MasterFireMaam

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We are a small microcosm of society. What society has in it, we have in us. Wanna change the world? The secret is for me to start with me and you to start with you and her to start with her....etc. etc.

We can only control what we do. What others do is based on their "stuff". It doesn't make them bad, it just make them not so hot at dealing with "stuff".

Master Fire

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/13/2008 2:09:16 AM

lally3

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- actually, you want to go and visit some of those vanilla chat boards and stuff, they are ruthless, vicious and down right evil to each other sometimes but not always..

its indemic mate, like it or hate it, its how some people are some of the time.

i find being ambiguous helps too....

and that old quote, 'you can please some people some of the time... etc' still holds true..

.heres a bit of love and happyness and snugglewuggly stuff -

< Message edited by lally3 -- 7/13/2008 2:15:46 AM >

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/13/2008 7:34:39 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Question:

How can we expect vanillas to respect us and our lifestyle when we don't respect EACH OTHER?

There is a post here that I replied to-and got several rude and nasty replies. Some though the nastiness was funny. The person who started the thread (not me) was quite upset at the rudeness.

Again I ask-If we treat each other like crap, how can we expect the non BDSMers to treat us any differently?

Have you ever heard of the saying: "You reap what you sow?" Next time-THINK about the seeds you are sowing.

Rudeness has no place here! ESPECIALLY here!

I do agree that there is a LOT of nastiness and rudeness here. I try really hard not to be a part of that kind of behavior, but I'm sure I've slipped a time or two. But as so many others have stated, there is nastiness and rudeness every place you look.

But to try and make you feel a tiny bit better about it.... I used to belong to another message board and nastiness, rudeness, attacking others and just plain hateful comments were not allowed. It lived a very short, and boring, life. People need debate. We need to argue our beliefs and views. We need to be stimulated intellectually and emotionally. Like it or not, collarme forum boards are as big, popular and populated as they are because this is a place where we can do that.

I learned a long time ago to use the rudeness, arrogance and argumentative natures of other posters as a screening process... some that post here I would LOVE to have over and spend a good week debating and conversing... others I wouldn't give the time of day if I passed them on the street. Believe me, if you looked at the forum boards as a filter it's sooo much easier.

Jewel

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RE: Infighting and nastiness - 7/13/2008 9:05:51 AM

Missokyst

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I really don't see too much nastiness and rudeness here. Very few people are outright hateful, and those that do it consistantly are often moderated.

Rudeness is not honestly stating an opinion or observation.
People ask, and are given imput. It is not rude simply because they are not getting the sappy response which validates their opinion.
Just like in life, there will be some or many which do not agree. If a question is asked or an observation posed are we then obligated to post; "Yes, collars mean more than a wedding ring to me!" "Online romance is just as real as meeting them face to face" "There is nothing worse than holding that 10 inch butt plug in my ass for 24 hrs when my master needs to punish me from Tx (and I live in WA)."
The whining I see is more often from those who are not getting the pats of "Yes you are so right!!"
If I wanted constant agreement I will stick a CD and play it over and over.
Lie to me, I promise I'll believe.
Lie to me, but please don't leave.

Meh. Give me rude any day if it is honest. Only I don't see someone disagreeing with me as rude. I note it, respond to it, maybe even get angry at it... and then I move on. I might never see their viewpoint, but sometimes after I cool down, I do.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

I do agree that there is a LOT of nastiness and rudeness here. I try really hard not to be a part of that kind of behavior, but I'm sure I've slipped a time or two. But as so many others have stated, there is nastiness and rudeness every place you look.

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

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