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Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 3:45:58 PM   
Jaded2005


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		I have a question for the ages. Why is it alot of the photos show women in the sexy outfits and revealing poses, yet in the profile they say "no sex". Maybe I'm misunderstanding something but why show something that isn't offered? I would equate that to 'bait and switch'. Offering chocolates and receiving a saltlick....LOL  Or the one I love is "This lifestyle isn't about sex".......really?? Why put all that effort in dressing for a picture when that isn't the intention?

< Message edited by Jaded2005 -- 7/14/2008 3:51:56 PM >

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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:01:35 PM   
DianeB


Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline 		Why can't a woman wear sexy outfits and not want sex? The outfits mean nothing...Too many guys think with the wrong head before they speak/type...


Diane

< Message edited by DianeB -- 7/14/2008 4:03:06 PM >

(in reply to Jaded2005)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:05:40 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB
Why can't a woman wear sexy outfits and not want sex?

... or not want sex with you?


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:06:44 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Your reasoning sounds like that of a defense attorney trying to get a rapist out of the responsibility for his crime by blaming the attack on what a person was wearing.

I happen to like the way I dress.  Most of the pictures in My profile were taken at clubs or leather events.  (Yes, that includes the one in red, but that was taken the morning after at the club.)  Just about all of them were taken by My husband, who happens to like the outfits I wear.  I dress for Myself, but if there was a second reason for doing so, it would be him.  My submissive comes in as a close third.  As far as anybody else, I don't much care.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Jaded2005)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:07:36 PM   
Jaded2005


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		It isn't that. It is wearing sexy clothes, showing cleavege and then saying 'this isn't about sex or if you want sex, move on' 

_____________________________

The greatest delusion of the working class is that
they believe we live in a democracy.
The greatest fear of the ruling class is that some day
the working class will realize that this is not so.



(in reply to DianeB)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:10:31 PM   
DianeB


Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB
Why can't a woman wear sexy outfits and not want sex?

... or not want sex with you?




You know you want me...


Diane

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:11:06 PM   
Jaded2005


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

... or not want sex with you?

I did notice that you don't offer a picture..... 

_____________________________

The greatest delusion of the working class is that
they believe we live in a democracy.
The greatest fear of the ruling class is that some day
the working class will realize that this is not so.



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:13:42 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaded2005
I did notice that you don't offer a picture..... 

It's because I'm fake.  Now please excuse me.  I have to perv Ms. Diane's profile.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Jaded2005)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:15:12 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaded2005

It isn't that. It is wearing sexy clothes, showing cleavege and then saying 'this isn't about sex or if you want sex, move on' 

Has it ever occurred to you that I might only be sexual with the people who *took* the pictures?

Btw, I've seen Red's picture.  I, for one, would say he's a good looking guy. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Jaded2005)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:20:06 PM   
Jaded2005


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Oh Baby! Packing my bags now..... 


You know you want me...


Diane
[/quote]

_____________________________

The greatest delusion of the working class is that
they believe we live in a democracy.
The greatest fear of the ruling class is that some day
the working class will realize that this is not so.



(in reply to DianeB)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:28:16 PM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline 		I wear sexy clothes sometimes and I gotta say, I'm not looking for sex until I get married. Shall I wrap myself up in a burkah to avoid tempting or teasing any of those men out there who happen to gaze in my direction? I mean, honestly ... 

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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:30:04 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaded2005
I did notice that you don't offer a picture..... 

It's because I'm fake.  Now please excuse me.  I have to perv Ms. Diane's profile.

When we met...were You doing some amazing work with holograms or something??? Stunning.......

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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 4:49:58 PM   
Jaded2005


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Did you sit up all nite thinking of that? How original! You should get a job as a stand up comedian....LOL
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB
Why can't a woman wear sexy outfits and not want sex?

... or not want sex with you?



_____________________________

The greatest delusion of the working class is that
they believe we live in a democracy.
The greatest fear of the ruling class is that some day
the working class will realize that this is not so.



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 5:12:12 PM   
Morsigil


Posts: 67
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaded2005

I have a question for the ages. Why is it alot of the photos show women in the sexy outfits and revealing poses, yet in the profile they say "no sex". Maybe I'm misunderstanding something but why show something that isn't offered? I would equate that to 'bait and switch'. Offering chocolates and receiving a saltlick....LOL  Or the one I love is "This lifestyle isn't about sex".......really?? Why put all that effort in dressing for a picture when that isn't the intention?


More like you have multiple questions for the ages.You're attacking a couple of different, complex subjects here, without even so much as a foundation statement about what "this lifestyle" is for us to accept or reject.

There are many reasons people choose particular pictures of themselves for this site, and just because they choose one of themselves in a sexy get-up doesn't mean they're here for sex. They could just like the picture because it makes them feel sexy when they look at it. Maybe it reinforces their world-view in a way that you aren't privvy. Further, who says they put any effort into dressing up for a picture for this site? Most of the pro dommes have professionally done fetish pictures for their websites and use them here as well. Others simply get them done during play, at parties, by friends or lovers.

I can't imagine dommes who are members of this site have pictures specifically done just to lure unwitting, single-minded, submissive men into a one-way relationship. =P Just the opposite, if you've read even one post about the "do me" males.

(in reply to Jaded2005)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 5:52:21 PM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		Bait and switch would be wearing the sexy outfit, acting like you had a shot at sex, and then mid-scene telling you that you would never get sex from her.  Then again, some people are into scenes like that.

What you describe can range from being a tease, to wearing what looks and feels good and being comfortable in her skin, whether or not you'll ever have a chance to do more than look.

(in reply to Morsigil)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 6:11:27 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		I dress for myself, not someone else.  If I choose an outfit for a photo that is revealing or sexy, it's because I wanted to wear it, not because I was advertising the "merchandise" so to speak.  It has nothing to do with my audience and everything to do with me.  If I say "no sex" then that's that.  What I'm wearing or not wearing in a photo has no bearing on my decision.

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(in reply to Jaded2005)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 6:53:02 PM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline 		The reason that women post pictures of themselves in fetishwear is that this is a fetish website where such things are appropriate, and they like the way they look in those pictures.  I'd guess that most of them didn't dress for the picture, they dressed for something else and someone took the picture.

The reason they women say "no sex" in their profile is because they're hoping it will cut down on the number of wannafucks they receive.  There are a lot of men who believe that because a woman is dressed provocatively in the pic, or even just because she's got a profile on a kinky website, she must be extending him a personal invitation for sex.  Some guys actually get irritated when they're told that their crude request for sex is unwelcome, as if the fact that he got a woody over her pic somehow obligates her to finish him off.  It's bizarre.  If you went to a party or club where there were lots of women in fetish gear, would you assume that they're all offering sex to just anyone?  Seriously, it's ridiculous. 

There actually are dominant women out there who are up for ongoing casual sex/play relationships with men whose company they enjoy.  I personally know women like this.  I am a woman like this.  My hubby has at least a dozen semi-regular playmates who are like this.  They mess around with him because he's a big ol' sweetie pie pain pig who they consider to be a friend - someone who likes them as people and never treats them like a piece of meat.  This is the sort of thing that many of these random idiots dream about, but the way they behave pretty much ensures that they'll never have it. 

quote:


Or the one I love is "This lifestyle isn't about sex".......really??


Yes, really.  Sex is one kink among many.  It's entirely possible to have an absolutely fabulous scene/experience where no one has an orgasm.  For many folks out there kink is not primarily about sex.  For quite a few it isn't about sex at all.  For some folks it's all about sex.  These things are all okay - we each get to decide for ourselves what it's all about for us.  That's the most wonderful thing about kink, but it's also the most confusing.  We can't assume that everyone sees things the way we do or wants the things we want. 


I've taken your question seriously, and have responded seriously.  I'm rather hoping that you're a troll, just posting this crap to get a rise out of people, but I know that there are fellows out there who actually feel this way about this stuff, just as there are guys out there who feel that picking up the tab for dinner and drinks means they're entitled to sex.   My post is directed toward any fellows who read your original post and thought, "Yeah!  What's the deal with that?"  Sadly, there will be some of those. 

Guys, if you really want to have a hot, steamy relationship with women you see here, control your dick and get your head out of your ass.  The loosest woman on CM is not going to fuck you unless she likes you or you're paying her.  Those who might go in for one night of anonymous wild monkey sex have plenty of men to choose from.  Even a chubby, married, menopausal, small-town-midwestern-grandma-type like me can find a grateful and enthusiastic hard-bodied young man to fuck without a heck of a lot of effort.  Why on earth would I waste even a moment of my time on some jackass who treats me like a piece of meat?

(in reply to Jaded2005)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 7:15:50 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaded2005

I have a question for the ages. Why is it alot of the photos show women in the sexy outfits and revealing poses, yet in the profile they say "no sex". Maybe I'm misunderstanding something but why show something that isn't offered? I would equate that to 'bait and switch'.

Then I would say you don't know what a "bait and switch" is.  You're being told from the outset that sex is not on the table.  You're not being promised something then having it taken away.  If you have somehow convinced yourself into thinking sex was an option based solely on how someone is dressed even when told it wasn't, that's on you, not them.

quote:

Or the one I love is "This lifestyle isn't about sex".......really??

For some people, yes, really.  For some people it is entirely about kinky sex, but you shouldn't assume that everyone feels that way or you'll find yourself trying to wrestle out of a conundrum like the one in which you presently find yourself. 

quote:

Why put all that effort in dressing for a picture when that isn't the intention?

Because they like dressing sexy?  Because they are dressing for someone that isn't you?  How many more reasons do you need?

~stef


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(in reply to Jaded2005)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 7:24:53 PM   
KneelingSilently


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaded2005

I have a question for the ages. Why is it alot of the photos show women in the sexy outfits and revealing poses, yet in the profile they say "no sex".
This is about much much more than sex.
quote:

Maybe I'm misunderstanding something but why show something that isn't offered?
Ummm... they allow pussy shots in profiles now? What the hell are you seeing in a woman decked out in leather that I'm not?
quote:

I would equate that to 'bait and switch'. Offering chocolates and receiving a saltlick....LOL  Or the one I love is "This lifestyle isn't about sex".......really?? Why put all that effort in dressing for a picture when that isn't the intention?

Crap analogy. No chocolates are being offered. I think the important question is what the submissive is offering.


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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so. - Mark Twain

(in reply to Jaded2005)
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RE: Fetish wear - 7/14/2008 7:34:01 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		As always, I cannot speak for others, only for myself.

I think I look HOT in my pics.  I've gotten messages from at least a hundred men - and quite a few women - who agree.  (or at least SAY they think I'm hot hoping it will get them some thing that they want) 

I don't have sex with my subs.  It's called Tease and Denial.  My sexuality is a very powerful tool in my arsenal of Domination.  Keeping men cucked or in chastity, while constantly parading 'the merchandise' is a classic form of torture that does not require me to lift a flogger.  Not all pain is physical.  Often, the sweetest torment of all is mental.


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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 20
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