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Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 10:22:57 AM

FatDomDaddy

Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
Status: offline

I have always found the fetish of "Feeders" distasteful and one of the worst sides of the BDSM lifestyle. Feeders prey on the some weakest in the flock, zap them of whatever self worth and self esteem they have left and leave the feedee at very high danger levels. It is handle safe, let alone sane and consensual. Still....There seems to be a niche within this world where it flourishes.

That got me thinking and I feel there must be an opposite to Feeding. I am not sure what that would be...Slimming? Thinning? Is there a name for this, a fetish to indulge as well? As a Dom who has battled his own weight demons and worked hard to reshape and drop weight, the thought of getting a bottom or sub to do the same, through reward and punishment appeals to me. Build up their self esteem and confidence and then enjoy a submisson that comes from strengh and choice and not weakness and need.

I was wondering if that type of TPE is part of this scene or does Feeding go unchallenged as a fetish?

Post #: 1

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 10:26:30 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

Given that feeding isn't even close to being a mainstream fetish (ha, how's that for an odd juxtaposition?) and the general disdain society has for people who are fat I really don't think it goes unchallenged.

As for what the opposit of feeding is, I think you'd call it starvation. If feeding is about forcing a sub to eat more than they really need then the opposite is forcing a sub to eat less than they need. Sounds like starvation to me.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 2

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 10:26:33 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy
I have always found the fetish of "Feeders" distasteful and one of the worst sides of the BDSM lifestyle. Feeders prey on the some weakest in the flock, zap them of whatever self worth and self esteem they have left and leave the feedee at very high danger levels. It is handle safe, let alone sane and consensual. Still....There seems to be a niche within this world where it flourishes.

This happens in every part of life. While I don't support destructive relationships, I'm not going to prevent someone from choosing their own life.

quote:

I was wondering if that type of TPE is part of this scene or does Feeding go unchallenged as a fetish?

Everything anyone does is challenged. We've all been told, by kinky people, that something we do is wrong or bad.

You don't come right out and define "feeding" fetish and your description initially just sounds like a normal abusive situation. But if you're discussing the fetish of making people as fat as possible, it's a very very small part of the scene and not accepted in general.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 3

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 10:27:32 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I've never heard of this, however having a girl loose weight to an acceptable (health wise) and building her selfesteme is simply just one oif the things I would do with a kajira in my collar as part of taking care of my property. I may (if she has earned it) allow her to assist me in what even health or fitness/rehab program I may be doing.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 4

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 10:33:35 AM

FatDomDaddy

Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
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No no...starvation would be a negative. I am looking for a positive.

An Emaciation fetish and a Feeding fetish are too similar in their goals. As they both strive to weaken the submissive. I want to empower the sub.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 5

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 10:51:04 AM

FatDomDaddy

Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

You don't come right out and define "feeding" fetish and your description initially just sounds like a normal abusive situation. But if you're discussing the fetish of making people as fat as possible, it's a very very small part of the scene and not accepted in general.

I would not exactly say that. I think if you google Feeder you will fine a very significant niche within the community. so while I agree that they may not be welcomed openly, they are active.

And yes...A feeders goal is to make someone as fat as possible.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 6

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 10:54:48 AM

WildSpirit2001

Posts: 143
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Colorado
Status: offline

quote:

No no...starvation would be a negative. I am looking for a positive.

An Emaciation fetish and a Feeding fetish are too similar in their goals. As they both strive to weaken the submissive. I want to empower the sub.

As in a diet and fitness Dominant? Hmmm I have one of those at my gym....he's called my trainer... the @#!%@ is a sadist!

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 7

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 11:33:53 AM

justatoy2

Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

you know i have known some "feeders" in my time, and not all of them wanted to weaken the sub. Some has a BBW fetish..and just enjoyed watching her enjoy herself. Some are just truly hedonistic, and relish in that. You cannot just make a blanket statement like "all feeders want to weaken the sub" thats just not true. And furthermore..what makes something a fetish? i dont' know if someone who is a feeder gets sexual gratification from that. There are plenty of fetishes out there that are not healthy or good for you. Smoking fetish comes to mind. Lots of people have this paticular fetish, and encourage their submissives to smoke, but yet i wouldn't classify that as abuse.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 8

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 11:39:21 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

I know! I know! Love her the way she is? Guess that would be a far too simple way to make someone feel good about themselves and thereby impower them. Good luck, anyway!

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

No no...starvation would be a negative. I am looking for a positive.

An Emaciation fetish and a Feeding fetish are too similar in their goals. As they both strive to weaken the submissive. I want to empower the sub.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 9

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 11:44:06 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Frankly, I was not aware that there is such a fetish, and it seems very distateful to Me also. However, as it is brought up for conversation, I guess it takes all kinds.
As to an opposite... I know of Doms who have taken overweight girls and simply worked with them to change eating habits and caloric intake. A regular exercise regime is often also included. The girl is encouraged in both short term and long term goals. Much overweight is based upon lifestyle habits. So if the weight problem stems from poor eating habits and a lack of exercise, as long as the submissive is committed and obedient, and the Dominant is knowledgeable, this is not a difficult goal to accomplish. I would not call it a fetish, however.
I have not owned a boy who was overweight, but I have talked to a few. If I would ever take on a boy who needed to lose weight and tone up, I would do it sensibly and with patience. My personal feeling is that it does seem unfair that an overweight Dominant would put an overweight submissive or slave on a strict diet, without doing so him/herself. But, as has been stated in the past, the D/s or M/s relationship is not necessarily fair. I can't imagine a Dominant deliberately overfeeding a slave, but I am sure it happens.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 10

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 11:52:05 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

as has been mentioned, the opposite of feeding would be forced starvation, and there are indeed Masters into that. however if you are not looking for the opposite of feeding, but rather just want to help a sub/slave be as physically and emotionally healthy as possible, that imo is just part of being a good Master. my Master keeps close watch over my body, weighing me often, watching everything i eat, creating a workout regimen for me...from day one he set guidelines for my weight and body tone...both for my own health and to suit his own preferences. there are severe consequences for falling outside those guidelines...which only motivates me all the more, as it has gotten more and more difficult to stay within those guidelines as i get older. but again imo this is all simply part of being a Master...i do not know of a Master who does not have at least some broad restrictions as far as his sub/slave's body, tho some Masters are more "hands on" as far as reaching those goals than others.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 11

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 12:53:14 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I was actually watching a program on one of the lifestyle channels a couple of months ago, showing three couple where the male (Dom?) was making his lady (submissive?) over eat. All three males had a feedibng fetish and it was refered to as such. In each case they were also motivated to produce the fatest/heavies woman to get into the record books. two were in the US and the other one was in the UK. The results were, to me anyway, gross, and I am not adverse to BBW (Neets is not a tiny thing). The sadest thing was that the males left the females to find another one to fatten. There were some interesting shots and commentaries of the ladies being treated and dieted etc under strict medical supervision to getvthe excess weight off as each one had entered intio the life threatening area. The guys openly admitted that they didn't care.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 12

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 1:07:09 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I know! I know! Love her the way she is? Guess that would be a far too simple way to make someone feel good about themselves and thereby impower them. Good luck, anyway!

Thanks for the laugh! It's funny when common sense is the exception. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 13

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 3:46:53 PM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like you seek to do something that would be beneficial to some individuals that may wish to have that extra push to get healthier. I commend you for that and wish you luck with it. And like someone else says, it sounds a lot like a personal trainer. Shucks, I'd like to have one of those myself. Actually I nearly did, but his motives were questionable.

As far as feeders, maybe all aren't as some I've encountered over the past ten years, but the ones I met were in it for the sexual gratification it brought them. Once the woman got so big that illness was inevitable, these guys moved on to the next victum and started the process all over again. They cared nothing for the women, it was only about them getting their fix. It was disgusting to watch these guys in action at bbw events.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

I have always found the fetish of "Feeders" distasteful and one of the worst sides of the BDSM lifestyle. Feeders prey on the some weakest in the flock, zap them of whatever self worth and self esteem they have left and leave the feedee at very high danger levels. It is handle safe, let alone sane and consensual. Still....There seems to be a niche within this world where it flourishes.

That got me thinking and I feel there must be an opposite to Feeding. I am not sure what that would be...Slimming? Thinning? Is there a name for this, a fetish to indulge as well? As a Dom who has battled his own weight demons and worked hard to reshape and drop weight, the thought of getting a bottom or sub to do the same, through reward and punishment appeals to me. Build up their self esteem and confidence and then enjoy a submisson that comes from strengh and choice and not weakness and need.

I was wondering if that type of TPE is part of this scene or does Feeding go unchallenged as a fetish?

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 14

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2005 6:09:12 PM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

I have always found the fetish of "Feeders" distasteful and one of the worst sides of the BDSM lifestyle. Feeders prey on the some weakest in the flock, zap them of whatever self worth and self esteem they have left and leave the feedee at very high danger levels. It is handle safe, let alone sane and consensual. Still....There seems to be a niche within this world where it flourishes.

That got me thinking and I feel there must be an opposite to Feeding. I am not sure what that would be...Slimming? Thinning? Is there a name for this, a fetish to indulge as well? As a Dom who has battled his own weight demons and worked hard to reshape and drop weight, the thought of getting a bottom or sub to do the same, through reward and punishment appeals to me. Build up their self esteem and confidence and then enjoy a submisson that comes from strengh and choice and not weakness and need.

I was wondering if that type of TPE is part of this scene or does Feeding go unchallenged as a fetish?

As a fat girl myself, I would be hurt and upset if someone punished me for not losing weight. My dom does have some diet guidelines for me, though he does not have any certain body type that he would like me to accomplish. I am not permitted to drink sugared soda (though, sometimes, if I receive permission, I may have a very small amount, usually to flavor diet coke with a tiny bit of cherry-my fave), and I am expected to visit the gym twice a week (though I don't always make it there, due to a variety of reasons). My dom always compliments me on how I look, and has NEVER punished me for gaining weight or for slipping up on a diet. Instead, we talk about it, and make new goals. That's what works for us.

As someone else said, if you're looking to build self esteem and confidence in a submissive, how about you praise them for how they already are, what they accomplish in life, how they meet goals and push past their limitations. I find it far from confidence building to punish a submissive during something so difficult as weight loss, particularly among large women who have been large all their lives but might like to be thinner, someday. It's great that you've struggled with your own weight issues. How nice for you and congrats. But, from this woman's perspective, in the end, I need to get there my own way, and I need my dominant for help and positive support.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 15

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/19/2005 1:02:32 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

dear domdaddy
i'm, not understanding
over my head
only feeders i know is: the water feeder ,in pet- cages used, for hamsters i had to use inside the bed(geneeva convention -water-)
i know ,if you are who you say ,as a" slave "you dont eat, when you are told ,and ,i snuck some icecream once ,or twice ,but ,it set of the security, and ,once those beams hit me ;i knew; i disappointed my top ,and, myself more,
but ,as "collectors"go ....
see movie i hate boxing helena (cause it was probably plagiarized)***********************good actress ,or doms refused to do it,in hollywood ,for ,inside unspoken reasons ...
or as a perfect victim (book perfect victim truecase story)
you won't be able ,to eat unless given food!
i prefer the dom drop kick mine ,so ,to speak
no slavey ;i gain weight ,just like vanilla ,over the hill;,or a depressed 14 year old eating icecream, at midnight ,cause ,she's frustrated ,or a nonactive active person------------------no 24/7 slave ,and ,i got "buckless"....unless i can remember what i am

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/19/2005 1:10:41 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 16

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/19/2005 4:50:27 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

That got me thinking and I feel there must be an opposite to Feeding. I am not sure what that would be...Slimming? Thinning? Is there a name for this, a fetish to indulge as well? As a Dom who has battled his own weight demons and worked hard to reshape and drop weight, the thought of getting a bottom or sub to do the same, through reward and punishment appeals to me. Build up their self esteem and confidence and then enjoy a submisson that comes from strengh and choice and not weakness and need.

I refer to this as a Pygmalion fetish. You find a broken girl and you fix her.

Like you, I have battled some weight demons. Big time. I have lost over 70lbs in the last 15 months. I know that this took a lot of self-discipline. No one could do it for me. The only way I did it was to put myself first.

Yes I have a support system. But I make the decision to show up to my meetings.

Yes I have a personal trainer. But I'm the one who gets up in the morning and goes to the gym.

My reward is feeling better. My punishment is not feeling better. The encouragement to go on and not give up comes from those who love me, my boy included.

I very open to various fetishes. I just caution against fetishes that are so closely intertwined with health and wellness.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 17

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/19/2005 7:31:50 PM

pandoravampire

Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline

There are oodles of people who like to encourage starvation. They push the person to starve themselves continuously. No matter how much weight is lost, still there is more to loose. They are called, not starvers, they are called fellow anorexics, the internet abounds with anorexic support groups. They kill each other literally.

Fat people are people who eat more calories than their bodies expound. Black and white. And this is no debate about why how etc.

Feeders and eaters are a co-dependancy relationship. As such, a self fulfilling prophecy. Its an example of a extreem fetish in the true meaning of the word fetish. ie a sexual response to a non sexual situation/object.

My idea of fun feeder/eater session: starved of food for 3 days, only allowed fluids and cum. The fluctuating blood sugar levels, the escalating electrolyte imbalance, its drug taking for christians. Delicious fantasy

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 18

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/20/2005 2:53:23 AM

Morgaine289

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline

As some of the posters have explained there is the opposite fetish. People who like to starve other people, a friend of mine has a tendency in this direction. But after some of his women got dangerously thin, he understood what he did and stopped. He still prefer his woman to be very thin, but he do not encourage any longer not eating.

Concerning feeders, this is a fetish and i have still problems to come to terms with people who have fetishs are BDSMer. There are a lot of people,that are into BDSM and into diverse Fetishs. But it is not necessary to have a fetish to be a BDSMer.

This feeding fetish, if it is full blown, is extremly dangerous for the feedee and i am on the same page with one of the other posters. This feeders prey on the insecure, lovestarved.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 19

RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/20/2005 7:25:38 AM

stormsfate

Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

No no...starvation would be a negative. I am looking for a positive.

An Emaciation fetish and a Feeding fetish are too similar in their goals. As they both strive to weaken the submissive. I want to empower the sub.

I've often wondered why what you describe isn't more common than it seems to be, but the whole idea seems to touch off such indignation in people and seems to be a real sore point, particularly for people who have weight issues. Weight issues or not, I am suprised that more people on both sides of the slash don't seem to view this as an area that is not only really hot in relation to wiitwd, but also has wonderful health and asthetic benefits to it. Its definately an area of strong interest with me.

best regards,
fate

*Edited to add....but then again...I *loved* the movie "Boxing Helena" <grin>

< Message edited by stormsfate -- 11/20/2005 7:26:49 AM >

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 20

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