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ResidentSadist -> RE: -=Damocles mind fuck=- (8/11/2008 7:38:49 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
quote:
I like fear too, fear is good. Fear equals suffering and it heightens the experience for both sadists, masochists, Masters and slaves. Fear is one of my tools and I use it just as surely as I would a whip, chain or cage. In fact, fear is more powerful than physical pain in some circumstances like waterboarding. Without fear, you might as well take away all my BDSM gear because I often mix fear with much of what I do.
RA,
I agree with everything you say here. I use fear all the time. I want my partner to fear what I am can do, what I will do. I want them to fear the consequences of their action. I sure as hell enjoy their suffering.
Where we differ is that I want them to trust me in whatever I decide to do to them. To get there, I never want them to fear me; especially as the scene you describe, right out of the gate. It is an invalid test under those circumstances and not a good method to determine what will happen down the road.
Actually we both agree that trust is paramount. I think the difference between us is what you consider an acceptable sharks versus guppies filter. First of all let me clear something up, I don’t hang my first dates over swords… but only because he thought of it first. However, I am considering getting a cargo net and some beer bottles (thanks again for a great story John).
I lead my life boisterous and openly. The butcher, the deli owner, the people at the theater and the gas station all know that I am a bit of a wild and crazy guy. I socially hang people over a metaphoric sword and those that are able to get with the program become involved in my life. Those that don’t write me off. . . and I really like it that way. I am just fine with that eccentric label that hangs over my head and keeps the tourists away. I don’t care to interface with everyone in the entire world that fits into my lifestyle. There just aren’t enough hours in a day. So I will settle for only the extreme ones that I know can hang for the duration and will be here in the long run. This does work for me as “good method to determine what will happen down the road” whether there is a metaphoric or real sword involved.
As a very mild example, I once met a crazy Russian waiter in a cafeteria who saw me there with my slave. In seeing the protocol transpire between me and my slave, he promptly took his service towel and laid it over his forearm. Then he asked us which wine we would be having (they didn’t serve wine) and suggested Pepsi while pronouncing it with a very fake and exaggerated French accent. Another waiter might have just choked in front of a Master and his slave but that crazy Russian didn’t! That goofball is still my good friend to this day and has more fortitude than most of us (now that's the spirit).
My old hometown is Detroit. They had a tee shirt that said “Detroit, where the weak are eaten”. I’ve always been good with that and I don’t mind that I lose some of the truly “good ones” due to my extreme ways. They will find and flock with a different group of “good people”… there is no loss to either of us. There are plenty of great people in this world and in my life, including many wonderful people from these very forums.
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-=Trust=-
When a slave faces fear it proves trust. Trust inspires love. Love allows surrender. Without surrender it's not TPE for *me*.
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-Sharks vs Guppies=-
There are many masochists that are too extreme for me. I would feel like I was doling out a life of abuse in order to make them happy, keep them caged 24/7, use them orally for my every defecation or completely dehumanize them to the point they weren’t allowed to speak or had their tongues removed. I am a guppy in their pond.
Rutger Hauer and Harrison Ford were in a movie called blade runner. Ford was being chased and after running for a very long time he finally stopped and turned on his aggressor. He reached up and pulled a pipe off the wall hitting Hauer in the head. Afterwards, Hauer turns to him and says “now that’s the spirit!” If I had to say there was some moral to this thread, that would be it. Either step up or step out. All those other replies (not yours) that impose their condescending judgment are doing so for some personal emotional issue of their own.
I do not apologize to all the submissives that got their panties in a bunch because they thought I was saying they weren’t sharks. Some guys don’t want a submissive to be a shark some guys do. It’s apples and oranges. Some submissives want to be the lowest person in a room. Some submissives are competitive, some have control issues… some have false images about whether they are a shark or not. That’s their emotional turmoil and problem. Either you have the kind of spirit that can take it or you don’t. Seek your own kind so you can be comfortable, I do.
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-=I am not a good Dom. I am a good Master.=-
I do not possess the patience a Dom uses when it comes to a submissive's negotiations, limitations or boundaries. Often, I do not want to extensively teach a submissive about something to allay their fears. In fact, that would be completely counter productive to my sadism, use of fear and role as Master in *my* kind of TPE.
...This may be an intrinsic difference between us as well. You speak of developing trust over time before playing intense games like that. That is a very kind and very nurturing approach. On the other hand, I throw a slave off the edge of a cliff and teach her how to fly on the way down. It is two very different approaches. However, both require trusts as a key factor to success.
I respect your writings and perspectives, this is why I took time to remove my “crazy eccentric” hat long enough to write you this very sincere reply. I hope I’ve explained clearly how dearly I do value trust and how my friend’s mind fuck is just fine with me even if we lose a few that would have had potential if developed in another, softer, more nurturing and politically correct manner.
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