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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/12/2008 8:13:04 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Well I could have said, homely oldster, but it wouldn't have worked in the context.

All in all, I think adorable youngsters is far better than what alot of people my ageish tend to say. You know, things like "ignorant kids"

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/12/2008 8:16:07 PM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/12/2008 8:21:05 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Wow... this thread exploded since I checked it out this morning.

I'd have to say I'm immature in my judgment of people, but it works for me. I'd never decide that I didn't like someone before I got to know them at least a bit. For some people, all they have to do is open their mouth- and it's a train wreck from there.

I have seen my FILL of sub par dominants. The one's who are quite sure that they are more knowledgeable of when my body is about to bruise (GOD there are a lot of those), the ridiculous ones at munches who strut around trying so hard to suck their stomach into their chest to impress me- with my date laughing his ass off beside me. I don't care what they call themselves, they get no respect from me, and I will mock them until they leave in tears. Like I said, probably not the most mature of approaches, but I get a little fed up at times.


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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/12/2008 8:32:00 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Which to be truthful, I find to be the perfect male counterparts of flabby "twue slaves",who seem to base thier entire worlds on "service", which usually consists the passive agressive  bossing around of  "Sir Blowfish"-all the while pontificating about what perfect servants they are, and all about how no one else understands what submission REALLY is.

Which may not be a bad thing.

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/12/2008 8:33:35 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Which to be truthful, I find to be the perfect male counterparts of flabby "twue slaves",who seem to base thier entire worlds on "service", which usually consists the passive agressive  bossing around of  "Sir Blowfish"-all the while pontificating about what perfect servants they are, and all about how no one else understands what submission REALLY is.

Which may not be a bad thing.


There's nothing passive about my aggressiveness!



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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/12/2008 8:36:51 PM   
patina


Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline 		i wonder what RT would say to Dom's who get kicked off for missconduct but return under different names.  They never admit they were on here under a different name.  I have had two profiles on CM when you are collared by a Gorean Master you lose your name and are given one by him.  I redid my profile when he gave me a new name.  It was amphora, as i now am no longer in his collar i have returned to my old name as it hurt too much to use his name.  
 
Just because a male says he is a dom that does not make him a dom.  At least not on-line it doesn't who knows who is really sitting typing these words.  i know some people who find it fun to create false profile and send in fake pictures just for kicks.  Some guys are great Dom's on line and on the phone but in person they are terrible.  They can not stand up and be strong they always back down to everyone.  i will only give respect to a Dom who has earned it.  but i will show complete courtsey sp? to any and all males and free females as that is the Gorean way.

patina

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/12/2008 10:16:51 PM   
jim64


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Likeable person have admiration for = respect.

years of experience coupled with an attitude of entitlement = blowfish.


DITTO

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/12/2008 10:58:26 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Been catching up on the thread.  So many posts going on here.

Just because somebody or anybody has had x number of years experience doing something, and is X years old and has been around since the beginning of time.  Simply by no means is an indicator of one having Good Character or Good Qualities.

Some people live to be mean miserable old Bastards or Bitches.

I'm certain the best of assholes are very experienced at being the ass they are for X number of years.   I'm not saying everybody who's into BDSM is a ASS or a Bitch.

Experience and Age alone does not mean Squat when it comes to a personality, morals, values, character and perspectives.

OK, so some people are entitled to breath the same air that I breath, and live on the same planet that I do.  La De Da... 

Some people walk around like the WORLD OWES them everything, that everybody and everything in it must and should bend to their will.   Oh Crap, wait until they Bump into other Dominant forces that refuse to honor and respect their MasterCards.   We're sorry, you've reached your Credit Limit.  Your Card is Maxed out.   If you want more credit you'll have to make a payment.

Instant gratification and extending limits.   Payback time can become a bitch, even more with compounding Social interests.  The exchange rates of people sharing a mutual opinion shape the Market.   Whooppss we're sorry, the meat market refused to take your MasterCard because you're over your limit.

Respect is a matter of a social rewards program.  Sort of like racking up frequent flyer miles.  If you ain't flying the friendly sky, you might not get jack shit back for points. 

Some people enjoy taking the cheapest crappiest flight they can, then bitch about the 101 lay overs, lost luggage...and crappy service.  Some of these people have lived their lives for years, taking the same crappy airlines.  Still they have not figured out that if they want great service, they need to shell out the extra cash for better service.

Personally, I have no respect for people that keep on doing the same bad things over and over again, and act like the world owes them something.   Why should they be rewarded for or somebody take pity upon thier soul.   I mean, it's pretty easy to figure out.   They should have at least figured it out.   They are how Old and How Experienced after all... You'd think they'd get it and understand.

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 12:12:14 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

It's  obvious to me that no one here even begins to understand what I said in my first post. In order for BDSM to work, there has to be Dominants and submissives.  For BDSM to work, submissives need to SUBMIT. For BDSM to work, there has to be a trust/belief  that Dominants are what they claim to be and submissives are what they claim to be.

As I know you are still reading this thread: Honey please. Try this- Create a female submissive profile here with as many "I"s, "limits", "demands", or "topping from the bottom crap" statements as you want and include a generic pic or 2 of anything vaguely female. Then reply to the assload of HNG "Doms" who mail you shit like "on your knees and suck me, bitch" as an introduction... but do so fully respecting their inherent Domliness.... lmao.

BTW, spitting the dummy and throwing your toys out of the pram when people disagree with you? Ummm... negative D points. Please see Merc's post, as he said it better than I could.


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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 12:14:36 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*adores Wyld*

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 12:18:07 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		*smooch* Thanks, Greedy! 

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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 2:39:00 AM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf

Respect must be earned over and over and over again. Every person has a right and a responsibility to evaluate you as a person and determine whether to give you respect. Anyone that feels they are immediately entitled to it has already lost it.

I totally agree with this statement. Now, that doesn't mean I don't give polite respect to people. I was taught by my mother to respect people. When I first address women, I was told to be polite (I use ma'am a lot). I've had some tell me they didn't deserve that. I feel sorry for them. But the deep respect that is the basis of most relationships, must come from knowing each other and earning that respect.


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
For me at least, anyone who tries to claim respect demonstrates that they don't understand the concept at all and are therefor automatically not worthy of it.  Call me old-school, but like others, I think respect is earned, not taken or even given.  What's interesting here is that I could say the same thing about subs who want to give respect before it is earned.. I have just as much of a mistrust of that as I do doms who try to take it before it is earned.

The Dom/mes who strut around and tell folks to kneel and kiss their *** when they don't even know them are quite funny. With just a picture, I'm not giving anyone any respect. Any sub/slave who falls for that .. well, I guess they won't earn my respect either because it's a much deeper feeling than that. That idea, strutting around and demanding, or a sub just giving it to anyone who might fit a cookie cutter mold, shows me they are just playing with this whole thing.
I hope to earn one special ladies respect and to build respect for her. That will be enough, but it won't happen overnight. Nothing good is that quick and easy.

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 2:54:20 AM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Here, subs distrust the credentials of ANY and ALL Dominants, unless they have had the opportunity to PROVE their dominance to THEM!


Damn, I screwed up again. Where do we get these credentials? I went to the license bureau, but they looked at me like I was crazy. Is there a test? Do I have to go through an initiation?

I guess RT, I see this as individual relationships, not a society. My Bad.

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 3:31:27 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Wow! Is there still a 'real deal' Dom on the loose? Oh no. I got to leave my apartment soon. What am I going to do?

People may laugh, but I'm serious. I hardly ever answer the phone, and I'm scared to go out. I'm even scared to do my grocery shopping at the local supermarket. Yes I've seen them.. these Doms.. walking past the laundry detergent with the raised eyebrows as if nobody is going to notice, having casually perused all the clothes pegs and washing lines.. I've read the threads 'how do you spot a submissive...?' and seen them loitering around the kitchen utensils, fingering up the spatulas and testing out the spud bashers on the palms of their hands, working on ways of how they are going to extract their respect from subbies (You thought it was a hijack? I did too until I thought of that)..

You see I decided to put a certain Dom's theory to the test. This morning I met my neighbour, an old lady who walks with a zimmer frame and who lives in the block opposite. We were walking down the road casually, on the way to the newsagent, and I let it slip I'm a Domme (I'm not, but I thought I would put the theory to the test). She asked me what I did and I said I hit people with sticks and kitchen utensils and I pee on them and humiliate them and such. Was she respectful? Not half.. she hit me with her handbag and throwing her zimmer frame aside shot off in the opposite direction. Maybe I said something wrong? She did however pause at the bus stop to talk to some people and she pointed to me and I heard the word 'pervert' mentioned a few times. Was this a compliment?

Anyway I get to the ATM to draw some cash out for my newspapers and.... I've got no money. You see last night I helped this Dom out, a really nice guy from Nigeria, he works in the oil business, and he offered to give me $5 million if I helped him pass some of his money into my bank account. I wasn't so sure at first, as it's the Internet but after reading this thread I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and gave him my bank details. I can't wait until he flies into London to complete the deal.

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 6:41:34 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		jeez, Stella.. I hope when she hit you with that zimmer that you didn't get bruised.. *grin*

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 7:02:30 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

It's funny, in a weird way, but the word "ego" always has had a negative feeling for me. I am not sure where I picked that up because it's only my own issue.


Don't you think that part of it may be due to an attempt by "society" to inculcate the idea that ego is bad?  The only problem with that attempt was that the word ego was only used to to correlate to a person who displayed overbearing, arrogant, cocksure, uncaring, shallow, materialistic, narcissistic behavior.  It was like some group looked up the worst definition of ego and made it be the definition of ego.

Look here...These are two definitions of ego.  One comes from the American Heritage Dictionary.  One comes from Collins Essential English Dictionary:
e·go play_w2("E0055900") (g, g)n. pl. e·gos 1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.3. a. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.b. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.
[New Latin, from Latin, I; see eg in Indo-European roots. Sense 2, translation of German Ich, a special use of ich, I, as a psychoanalytic term.]hm()The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2003. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
ego Nounpl egos 1. the part of a person's self that is able to recognize that person as being distinct from other people and things 2. a person's opinion of his or her own worth: men with fragile egos [Latin: I] hc_dict()Collins Essential English Dictionary 2nd Edition 2006 © HarperCollins Publishers 2004, 2006
Note that is the top definition, the bad definition of ego does not come into play until 3a.  In the second definition, it does not come into play at all.  And yet, from the same page on the net, under the Thesaurus section (oddly enough, taken from a university known for its liberal outlook), look where the bad definition of ego...the type of ego everyone hates...comes forth:
Noun1.ego - an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to othersself-importance, egotismpride, pridefulness - a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
2.ego - your consciousness of your own identityselfconsciousness - an alert cognitive state in which you are aware of yourself and your situation; "he lost consciousness"anima - (Jungian psychology) the inner self (not the external persona) that is in touch with the unconscious
3.ego - (psychoanalysis) the conscious minddepth psychology, psychoanalysis, analysis - a set of techniques for exploring underlying motives and a method of treating various mental disorders; based on the theories of Sigmund Freud; "his physician recommended psychoanalysis"mind, psyche, nous, brain, head - that which is responsible for one's thoughts and feelings; the seat of the faculty of reason; "his mind wandered"; "I couldn't get his words out of my head"wn()Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2008 Princeton University, Farlex Inc. Translations

[Mod Note:  images removed]



< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 8/13/2008 7:47:45 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 7:16:46 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

If somebody is not very respected in the Vanilla world, or in general by other people.  Simply coming into BDSM and demanding it because you are a DOM/Master does not mean one is going to get it here.   The basic rules of human interaction don't magically change.



Whip, thank you very much for all of the time and effort you put into your lengthy post. I loved it. Please excuse me for snipping out a piece that really jumped out at me and got me thinking about something I've wondered for a long time.

I sometimes question how much the very idea of instant power and owed respect draws some really fucked up disfunctional people to BDSM and power exchange relationship.

That very concern is one of the things that leads me back to the whole idea that automatic, anything, towards an unknown person that gives themself a title or role and demands to be treated in a special manner, is downright preposterous.


Bingo LaT and Whip.  I've been at this for 10 years now.  I've seen a lot, read a lot, observed a lot in the clubs of various "power" groups in Colorado and what I have really taken notice of is the truly amazing idea that taking on a title means you get the "respect and authority" that comes with that title without having done one thing to earn it...well, you practiced flogging on a pillow for a couple of months and you DID practice "the Look" in front of a mirror for awhile and even tried it on a couple of vanilla girl friends and they were scared.  And the reverse held true also...that you took on a different title and automatically knew how to be subservient, obedient, loyal to your wordand just KNEW that of course, you should be that way with anyone identifying under the other title. 

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Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 7:20:20 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

Yes, I disagree with a POV or thought that somebody has posted on this thread.   Yes, I'm a DOM.  Does this automatically  mean that I have Zero Respect for other DOMs?  Not really.   Some DOMs I respect and others ones I don't.   It's a case by case basis.    



I don't think I have ever said I was a Dominant per se. I more identify as ..

A nose picker with Dominant tendencies. Shouldn't that garnish me more respect?

C-D


Depends...do you pick daintily or just go whole hog with the middle finger? 

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 7:38:10 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy
Damn, I screwed up again. Where do we get these credentials? I went to the license bureau, but they looked at me like I was crazy. Is there a test? Do I have to go through an initiation?

I guess RT, I see this as individual relationships, not a society. My Bad.


I was going to comment on the 'credential' thing yesterday -- but I guess I had a brain fart.. anyway... Credentials. I think there are some credentials that may have value -- for example, I have paramedic and midwife training. It gives me a small edge in knowing how to use things like needles and scalpels. Its great for a couple of the kinks I love. However, it doesn't do a damned thing for my capabilities in shibari (I have -none-). Credentials are only as worthwhile as their relevance to what you're doing.

There is an awesome guy in our area who plays with fire. I love his technique and learn as much as I possibly can from him. He learned by setting himself on fire and seeing how it all worked... then playing on his pet (who is a real peach). He's been doing it for years, and I respect him a LOT -- it has nothing to do with him pulling out the MasterCard - I've seen how he works, and he impresses the heck out of me.. plus he's really personable, willing to answer questions without making you feel like an idiot, and he makes sense. To me, these are the real credentials -- to see someone doing what they do and do it well.

CFB



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Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 7:39:39 AM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

Yes, I disagree with a POV or thought that somebody has posted on this thread.   Yes, I'm a DOM.  Does this automatically  mean that I have Zero Respect for other DOMs?  Not really.   Some DOMs I respect and others ones I don't.   It's a case by case basis.    



I don't think I have ever said I was a Dominant per se. I more identify as ..

A nose picker with Dominant tendencies. Shouldn't that garnish me more respect?

C-D


Depends...do you pick daintily or just go whole hog with the middle finger? 



Up to my second knuckle brotha.

C-D

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RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so... - 8/13/2008 7:46:33 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		fella's...that's gross..


< Message edited by sirsholly -- 8/13/2008 7:47:58 AM >

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