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LaTigresse -> Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 7:49:11 AM)
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Something has been bugging me.
Yesterday a friend of mine from here and I were exchanging emails over a few of the threads we were reading. She linked me to another thread that I had not seen. It was a soap opera hell of a mess that, combined with some other things, really got me thinking.
All the time we see the age card played, and then we see the "years in the lifestyle" card played, and one would think that the two together would created a magnificent dominant/master/mistress. Someone that had some small measure of respect due them. Kinda like the whole, career military service, line of thinking. However, human nature being what it is, and me being the avid observer of human nature, I've come to the conclusion that is it certainly no guarantee. At least not from where I sit.
Now, some of you well sit there and think "Well DUHHHHH, you dense broad!! You just NOW figured that out?!?!?" Well no, I am a pessimestic bitch and never assume anyone is worthy of respect. What I am talking about is the overall collective persepction that if someone says "I am 55 years old, I've been swinging a paddle/crop/whatever for 35 years and had a dozen slaves. I am a great and skilled Master/Mistress, so I am OWED respect!!" ...there is a certain perceived validity in the first part of that statement so we (collectively) tend to agree with the respect part. (even if it annoys some of us pessimistic bitches....)
But here's the thing, when I see or hear someone say, in some way, to a general population that they are "owed" something I tend to get my back up a bit. I am reminding of a tagline that, I think, MissTress has. (forgive me I am sure I am going to mutilate it) "If they have to tell you they are a lady, chances are they are not." And I love that, because it really is pretty accurate.
So, when I hear someone toot their own horn by saying "I am a Great Master/Mistress!!!" I kinda think,"yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....." And if I see/hear someone getting their ass up because they are not getting respect and they "deserve" it because of their age or experience, I have to wonder why they are not getting it and do they really deserve it.........hmmmmmm? I mean, if you are so great, experienced, and respect worthy, odds are, you'd be getting it from the greater percentile of people around you. And if you are not getting it and are so wonderful, you'd probably be a mature enough person to not throw a tantrum about it.
For myself, I don't see alot of value in having anything of that sort that I got, simply because I demanded it. I kinda want to earn it, and keep earning it based upon my actions. Not because I built up muscles swinging a flogger and a whip or gave myself a title then demanded the world respect me because of it.
The online indication of this issue yesterday was watching, through words, another dominant/master/mistress, lose control and mastery of themself. They behaved again and again in a very immature and emotional way rather than taking a high road that, to me, would have shown maturity and self control. Yet stated that they were not given the respect they were due. Then proclaimed themself later on, to be a great master/mistress/dominant. I was really kind of sad and disappointed.
If you want to be a great master/mistress/dominant and be respected, then do so by actions and deeds, in addition to your words. Don't try to weasel out of taking responsibility, don't let your over inflated ego get in the way of seeing that you may be less than perfect. If you want to be a mentor, an example to young people, they behave like it.
Lord knows I am not there, I would never say I am a Great Mistress because I know I am human and fallible. Most of my years of experience, are not in BDSM practices, just life and living. I fall off the snark wagon and make a fool of myself a good bit of the time. I am glad that I get an occasional love letter from Madame Eleven to remind me I really am not "All That" (at least not all the time......) But I do feel I need to be always aware of how I am perceived, not because I really care what the world thinks of me personally, but because I am beginning to realized that I have qualities, like my advanced age of, FREAKIN FORTY SIX!! (too weird to think of) that might lead some of these adorable youngsters to assume I might have a clue.
I am reminded of a bit of stink a famous basket ball player caused, some years back, when he stated he was not a role model for kids just because he was famous. Like he didn't have to behave in a certain way just because he was an over payed, skilled professional athlete. People were pissed because they feel that kinda goes with the territory.
Sooooooooooo, that's my deep thoughts for today. Bludgeon at will!!
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