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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:10:48 PM

CreativeDominant

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Actually...it was whining that you spelled wrong. Tis "WHINING", not "WHINGING".

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:11:16 PM

softness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
Sees Misst and soft fighting over who gets to bleed first

Sheesh another pair!

During a play session not that long ago:
Me: "You're bleeding bitch!"
metalmiss: <grins manicly>

knew I liked her .... woman after my own heart .... perhaps even literally!

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:13:23 PM

softness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I didn't mean to suggest that was MissT's intent. What I was suggesting that a discussion like this could easily turn into the whole "real and true" type of discussion.

"Oh, you think doing xxx is extreme?? WELL, the other night Fred and I did xxx, now THAT is extreme!!!"

aka............ my S&M is more extreme than yours. More valid. More real, more true S&M.

All I am doing is giving another point of view on the subject and the discussions I've seen on this particular type of subject lately. I think "extreme" should be determined by those individuals within their specific relationship and not always by the masses as guidelines for individuals. What activities are extreme to one person, may be tame to another. I just would hate to see another shark and guppy thread.

I adore MissT and would never personally attack her. I would hope that she knows that. I am just giving another point of view on the topic at hand.

grins at shark and guppy ... nice image ... and yes it could turn that way .. but lets enjoy it while it does't eh? ...

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:13:56 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I've never had a problem finding good sadists. Or maybe after they hear my mouth and deal with me for a while, they just become more sadistic, I don't know.

~R.O.F.L.M.C.D.A.O.~

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:16:15 PM

daddysprop247

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well it's hard to find anyone you're wonderfully compatible with, that's just the way life works. as far as sadists and masochists, it's always been my personal belief that a sadist and a masochist would not make a good match for one another. after all a sadist needs someone who will truly suffer under their hands...not someone who will find their own erotic pleasure in the act. likewise a masochist is one with a need for true suffering, not a partner who wishes to send to heights of erotic ecstasy. but then i'm a bit of a purist when it comes to such terminology.

in my time in the lifestyle (almost 9 yrs...eep i'm gettin' up there...), i have not found there to be any lack of sadists. in fact i would say that it has been easier for me to run across a sadist than a Dominant (one with a dominant nature/personality). even now when we go to lifestyle events and clubs and such, the overwhelming majority of the folks there will be purely S&M-focused. those with more of a D/s bent are few and far between, this has always been a point of frustration for me and my Master. i imagine finding one who was Dominant by nature as well as sadistic, or one who was submissive by nature as well as masochistic, could be especially difficult.

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:22:24 PM

CreativeDominant

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I have to say I agree with the lovely LaT. Extreme is in the eye of the beholder. softness mentioned that there had not been a post on here yet that was headed towards the guppy vs. shark deal but there have been a couple of posts which have stated that someone described themselves as sadistic and yet turned green when confronted with certain descriptions of scenes. The fact that what was being described to them did not sit well with them does not mean that they are not a "true" or "real" or "good" sadists, it just means that they may come at things from a different way. After all, the dictionary definition of a sadist is simply that it is someone who receives pleasure and/or arousal...most often sexual...from the infliction of pain. Nowhere does it qualify what the level of pain is for a person to be considered a sadist.

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:30:19 PM

softness

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we aren't going to have a thread jack about thread jacking are we?

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:35:47 PM

Owner4SexSlave

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Between these two threads, I find myself asking myself just how much of a hardcore sadistic bastard I can be, have been, and what my true potential for sadism really is anyways. lol

There's a level or amount of sadism that is and will always be a part of me. The sensual sadist is not an optional thing I can simply drop completely from my play bag.   On the flip side I also have my own masochistic streak, and that's not going anywhere either.

In terms of hardcore, extreme, sadism.   Everybody here just makes me question myself. Verbally, I have threaten to do all kinds of extremely cruel things to somebody, including chopping them up and eating them.   Mind you, these are just words.   Verbally, I have been one sadistic motherfucker according to the things I've read on this thread.

In terms of S&M play, I've notched it up and done some extremes. This however is rather optional for me to do or not to do.   It all depends upon how big of a Masochistic I have on my hands.

I don't consider myself a hardcore sadistic, but I can be for the right hardcore masochistic, I won't think twice about working somebody really over and then some. If I know you are a really into Masochism.

Back a few monthes ago, on a thread I started On Shaping and Molding, DarcyandTheDark made a post about it things also Shaping and Molding the Dominant partner as well.   Hell, I admitted and agreed to that statement fully without any debate or question.   I know from my own Experience, that it's true without fucking question.

What I'm about to express or say, is not directed at anybody personally on this message board.   However, I can honestly see and tell the difference between some of the more experienced compared to less experienced people on here.   In fact, it becomes painfully clear at times.    Mind you, some people are simply more experienced in various facets compared to others.

Experience is a bit tricky of a topic, because it all depends upon what aspects or areas one has experience in.

Anyways, some of Domly Topping people that really don't consider ourselves as being hardcore sadist, can in fact be a hard core masochists dream come true.

Fuck it, if this makes me sound like a service top! The way I've always done things, is to take my list of things I love to do and my partners list of things to do... Combine the two and fucking do it.   Not really hard nor difficult.   Just a DOM taking charge of Both Lists.

Simply talking and things, making jokes and off handed remarks and verbally exploring the potenial of things that can be done and explored.   I really have never ran into any trouble yet using this method.   So what? Does this make me a service top? LOL...   Hell, all I'm doing to finding common ground to work with.

What I really appreciate is when somebody is willing to give themselves to me, to do things that well, they might not enjoy but I enjoy.   Sure, this does happen. Don't get me wrong I don't shelve my own interests in things. However, I'm pretty reasonable about things, at least in my book I am.

Hell, I'll even try and do things my partner has an interest in. In fact, some of the activities I love doing now, my partner was the one would brought up the idea of trying it.    La De Da... so my submissive partner or whoever was the one that came up with the idea.   It really does not make me any less of a DOM for having said, you know what.   I'm open for giving that a spin!

I see shit get nit picked to death on the boards here time and time again. So much fucking posturing and bullshit.

The concept and a fear of Topping from the Bottom happening. That the sub/slave must be the one always and only doing for their Master/Dom/Owner... but come on folks What does the Dom/Master/Owner do for their submissive partners?

Personally, I even enjoy doing things for my submissive partner, or even a Domme partner... whatever fucking orientation label you can slap down upon it.

Ok, I digress... somebody is probally screaming out loud, that I'm into Waterdowned D/s relationships.   Not really, I'd beg to differ with anybody. I've actually have been in a TPE M/s relationship before. The Dynamics were very much there and solid and in place.   But what the fuck do I know anyways, I just know the way I do things. Not what every TOM, Dick and Harry does in the world of BDSM.    I'm Dom enough to do things my way, and make my own choices.   Does not matter if it fits into the Stereotype images and labels at times.

The Labels are just big generalizations.   They don't fully cover all the options and depths of what having an actual relationship with somebody is truely like.

Hell, some of the activities I've engaged in have been Exclusive to specific past relationships I was in. Such as tasting and licking each others blood.. and even heavy S&M play.   My life is a twisted maze of experiences! Different with each partner.

If everything was left to my own imagination alone it might get boring in time! I love the sparks and ideas of my partners mind and imagination as well. It even introduces new thoughts, ideas and directions to travel down.

With that said, how big of a sadist can I be with the right person? My mind travels into the depths of my soul for a moment.   Reflecting upon the past moments, the experiences, and reflecting for a moment at things I have thought about doing, and well......... all depends upon if I ever hook up with a hardcore Masochist..

But there are other things, that I'm looking for.... intense/extreme S&M play is optional. Sensual sadist play, not optional.   But there far more to me!!!   I refuse to call myself a Hardcore Sadist.

Yes, I have a touch of Daddy Dom in me, Hell.. I have streaks of being a White Knight, I'm also a sadistic Bastard, and I'm a Lover as well.   I'll also won't think twice about dropping somebody to their knees, calling them dirty names.. Verbal humilations and Using them like the slutty girl that they are in my life. I'll tie them up, use rope or restaints... I'll pull hair, smack face and ass.. spit on them, kiss them, caress them.   Be calling them my Dirty Little Whore and saying Good girl along the way.   I'll make the put on a show for me... so many things..

However, don't think twice that I'm not ready and able of beating somebody.. nicking them with a knife tasting their blood. Leaving welts and marks on the body. Hell, I could even burn somebody with the end of a cigerettee... OUCH.. come on here folks.   I don't even consider myself a hardcore sadist. But you'd be feeling the pain on every inch of your body and skin.   I'm just another person on this crazy website....

I'm not simple, yet in so many ways I am.

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:38:41 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I have to say I agree with the lovely LaT. Extreme is in the eye of the beholder. softness mentioned that there had not been a post on here yet that was headed towards the guppy vs. shark deal but there have been a couple of posts which have stated that someone described themselves as sadistic and yet turned green when confronted with certain descriptions of scenes. The fact that what was being described to them did not sit well with them does not mean that they are not a "true" or "real" or "good" sadists, it just means that they may come at things from a different way. After all, the dictionary definition of a sadist is simply that it is someone who receives pleasure and/or arousal...most often sexual...from the infliction of pain. Nowhere does it qualify what the level of pain is for a person to be considered a sadist.

*chuckles* Our household is a really good example of this. I swear to you by all that is divine (which is everything)... my Darling is a sadist of the top order. She may or may not lay a hand on you, but she can rip your heart out with a handful of words and then feed it to you without blinking. For the masochist who craves humiliation and decimation for those few minutes, she can drag a boy down into the dirt of his own spirit and bathe him in it so thoroughly his sweat will smell of it. She can pull together a mindfuck without a single tool, and leave the poor boy trembling at her feet. I am humbled by her skill, because I am just -not- a psychological sadist. Then again, I don't really get into the whole mentally-sadistic thing.

Now, on the other end of the scale, I like to literally get under someone's skin -- I love the smell of flesh separating beneath my hand as I draw the blade over it. I love the slick-soft, velvet feel of blood on skin through nitrile. I love the sub-audible "sound" that flesh makes at the moment it is punctured...

Sometimes, I think people dismiss my Darling, because her method is not as visible -- and fear me -way- too much, because of the blood. My Darling is -much- scarier than I am!!

CFB

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:47:14 PM

FRSguy

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I allways have the problem where I have to compleatly hold back.... I have never been able to really let loose as far as letting my sadistic side out... as it stands I am too rough for most but I would love one evening with a true pain slut...lol. I can never understand why people would wimp out on such sexy offers!

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 12:52:03 PM

softness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

I allways have the problem where I have to compleatly hold back.... I have never been able to really let loose as far as letting my sadistic side out... as it stands I am too rough for most but I would love one evening with a true pain slut...lol. I can never understand why people would wimp out on such sexy offers!

laughs ... if you would like to leave MissT your name and number .. she'll get right back to you

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 1:05:44 PM

FRSguy

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Actually the thought of the two of you side by side to see who could out do the other is just too much...lol
That would make an incrdible movie. I really have to stay away from threads like this...LOL

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 1:12:09 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy
a true pain slut...

Don't say I didn't warn youuu!

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 1:18:20 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

well it's hard to find anyone you're wonderfully compatible with, that's just the way life works. as far as sadists and masochists, it's always been my personal belief that a sadist and a masochist would not make a good match for one another. after all a sadist needs someone who will truly suffer under their hands...not someone who will find their own erotic pleasure in the act. likewise a masochist is one with a need for true suffering, not a partner who wishes to send to heights of erotic ecstasy. but then i'm a bit of a purist when it comes to such terminology.

in my time in the lifestyle (almost 9 yrs...eep i'm gettin' up there...), i have not found there to be any lack of sadists. in fact i would say that it has been easier for me to run across a sadist than a Dominant (one with a dominant nature/personality). even now when we go to lifestyle events and clubs and such, the overwhelming majority of the folks there will be purely S&M-focused. those with more of a D/s bent are few and far between, this has always been a point of frustration for me and my Master. i imagine finding one who was Dominant by nature as well as sadistic, or one who was submissive by nature as well as masochistic, could be especially difficult.

I wanted to come back to this. DP expressed a point of view that always makes my brain go around in circles. If one is a sadist, how can they enjoy playing with a masochist that enjoys the activity they are doing? At that point doesn't it become service topping of sorts?

IF I was being sadistic, instead of whipping a girl that loves to be whipped but was terrified of clowns, I would get front row tickets at a circus and make her sit through the whole show while enticing the clowns over near her. Because there was no blood, no gore, no heavy impact play, etc.....some might not call that extreme. I bet she would.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 1:22:04 PM

Leatherist

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Agreed.

My inner sadist would never be happy if he didn't get to inflict some degree of real suffering and distress. I'd end up feeling like a sex toy myself.

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 1:28:34 PM

softness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

Actually the thought of the two of you side by side to see who could out do the other is just too much...lol
That would make an incrdible movie. I really have to stay away from threads like this...LOL

pppfffff ... it would be a short fricken movie

WWWAAABOOOMPH first hit
Missst ... OOoooooo I like it ... give me more
Softness .... RED *faints*

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 1:37:04 PM

softness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

well it's hard to find anyone you're wonderfully compatible with, that's just the way life works. as far as sadists and masochists, it's always been my personal belief that a sadist and a masochist would not make a good match for one another. after all a sadist needs someone who will truly suffer under their hands...not someone who will find their own erotic pleasure in the act. likewise a masochist is one with a need for true suffering, not a partner who wishes to send to heights of erotic ecstasy. but then i'm a bit of a purist when it comes to such terminology.

in my time in the lifestyle (almost 9 yrs...eep i'm gettin' up there...), i have not found there to be any lack of sadists. in fact i would say that it has been easier for me to run across a sadist than a Dominant (one with a dominant nature/personality). even now when we go to lifestyle events and clubs and such, the overwhelming majority of the folks there will be purely S&M-focused. those with more of a D/s bent are few and far between, this has always been a point of frustration for me and my Master. i imagine finding one who was Dominant by nature as well as sadistic, or one who was submissive by nature as well as masochistic, could be especially difficult.

I wanted to come back to this. DP expressed a point of view that always makes my brain go around in circles. If one is a sadist, how can they enjoy playing with a masochist that enjoys the activity they are doing? At that point doesn't it become service topping of sorts?

IF I was being sadistic, instead of whipping a girl that loves to be whipped but was terrified of clowns, I would get front row tickets at a circus and make her sit through the whole show while enticing the clowns over near her. Because there was no blood, no gore, no heavy impact play, etc.....some might not call that extreme. I bet she would.

but then .... ultimately ... that girl is in a relationship with you to get her rocks off ... however far down the line it happens, sitting there watching those clowns is on the path to her own rocks being got off

when it gets down to it ... both parties are in fact in service to the other ... its just a degree of how directly or indirectly that happens

me finding a nice scary sadist to play with ... makes my pip squeak ... because I have found someone I really have to work hard to please, and along the way some emotional as well as physical torture is on the cards .... doesn't sound like a hard life being my service Top does it? *grins*

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 1:45:12 PM

LaTigresse

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Softness, please do not think I am being critical of you and your relationship. I'm not. I am just explaining my own convoluted thoughts on the whole sadism masochism thing. How my brain goes round and round in circles with it.

Ultimately it's all about what works for us, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 1:52:01 PM

softness

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am joining you running round in circles actually .. I don't think you're having a go *grins*

Yesterday me and the Boss man were discussing my on-going issue that I just don't feel all that submissive because 90% of the time I am doing stuff I would always choose to do anyway because it arrouses me (from doing the ironing, to licking boots, to getting my ass raped)... that I feel bad because I think that makes me less of a submissive, the other 10% of the time I am making up for not feeling submissive 90% of the time by playing way above my actual comfort zone to prove to myself, and Him that I *really* am a submissive because look I am doing these things I actually *really* dislike and would never choose to do unless I needed to prove I was willing to do things purely out of devotion

fucked up huh?

He said I needed some brutal sodomy .. that I was simply hysterical

He may well be right

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RE: A good sadist / masochist is hard to find.... - 8/14/2008 1:54:03 PM

IvyMorgan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I have to say I agree with the lovely LaT. Extreme is in the eye of the beholder. softness mentioned that there had not been a post on here yet that was headed towards the guppy vs. shark deal but there have been a couple of posts which have stated that someone described themselves as sadistic and yet turned green when confronted with certain descriptions of scenes. The fact that what was being described to them did not sit well with them does not mean that they are not a "true" or "real" or "good" sadists, it just means that they may come at things from a different way. After all, the dictionary definition of a sadist is simply that it is someone who receives pleasure and/or arousal...most often sexual...from the infliction of pain. Nowhere does it qualify what the level of pain is for a person to be considered a sadist.

As one of the people who made a "wimped out" post...

It's quite frustrating when people bill themselves falsely in an effort to please. I have started scenes with people who said they were sadists, and who, no starting the scene, were most reluctant about actually hurting me.

That's what I mean about wimping out.

I'm not going to meet someone, who says "well I love needles" and say "well boy golly gosh I do too" knowing full well that I don't. Likewise, saying "hello, I'm a sadist" when you aren't, is just going to disappoint everyone.

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