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Maxwell67 -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/22/2008 10:40:57 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
If I go through the whole process of filling out a profile and make all the stuff up just so I can get off on looking at guys on cam in bondage, does that make me a cheat and a liar?
Cheat, no. That is a known part of the game. It is the risk you take for playing, so if you choose to BE the object lesson about which everyone warns, then you have to accept that you are, for those purposes, anyway, a liar.
However, even those telling the truth are not really much better off, except perhaps they are not denying one another the opportunity to take the relationship into R/T thereby possibly making it a 'real' relationship. Either that or destroying your online relationship if meeting makes things go sour, depending on how you look at it. The second is hardly a loss though, except for whatever 'work' you put into it. That is, roughly as valuable as the 'work' you invest to achieve that endless list of meaningless goals in any other interactive game we play. Whatever value you choose to place on it is arbitrary, but valid. It is YOUR time, after all. Just do not have any illusions about how you are spending it.
That person at the other keyboard is not the person you are developing a relationship with. You are just using their image, words, and such.. You may think this is more than simple porn, and you would be right... this is improvised interactive amateur porn, via one handed typist theater. Probably if it were not for the 'interactive' part, it would be even worse than the planned crap the net is overflowing with. You do not know that person. You are not really going to get to know that person... not well enough to have anything meaningful. You are having a relationship with your own fantasy. You have ascribed to them those traits which you are not getting from them that you need to make the fantasy work for you. In most cases more than half of what you think of as that person is a pure projection of your own mind.. Willing suspension of disbelief so you may invest your own imagination (making yourself vulnerable in the process) and 'play' with it interactively. It is the current pinnacle of narccisism in the digital age. The 21st century is going to see whacking off taken to whole new levels. There are people who consider themselves experts in the study of where society is going who are predicting the death of sexual relationships between people because we will develop interactive robots that even more perfectly embody those fantasies than your internet keyboard one-handed typing buddy. Might as well get in all the interpersonal you can get, chances are your buddy will lose all interest in you when it is possible also.
In addition to my R/T sub, I have two D/s relationships online. They are great for what they are.. games. I have told my online charges the same thing I wrote above. If they wish to play a role with me instead of being themselves that is fine. The emotional connection is not what I am playing for.. the intellectual connection is. For that, it does not matter what role they play so long as they play it well. I am getting what I want through these relationships.. Sure I act as if I care. That is part of the game. To some extent I even feel it, in the way an actor feels the emotions of any role played. It does not matter to me if I am advising to a purely imaginary scenario, after all. I know that although they are wearing 'my collar' it is only as good as the people in the relationship no more no less. They might get more benefit if they were honest in the details they gave me, but for myself, it makes no difference. If I could not get something meaningful for myself from illusions, I would never have gravitated to the theater.
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