RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly....

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AAkasha -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 10:07:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 I don't understand the appeal of making gay males submit to a woman. I am thinking that is part of what gets the OP off in this scenerio. Whats wrong with men who like women? Sounds to me that you have issues. and yes - dishonest, disrespectful and just plain wrong. No, I find gay bondage bottoms to be hot. If you watched enough gay porn like I do, you would know what I mean. They present themselves differently - it's that simple. I have many men that submit to me regularly, including my husband. I watch a lot of gay bdsm porn (because the focus in het bdsm porn is always on the femdom, not the bottom) and the submissives are simply hot - there's no way of denying that. Does that mean I think straight males subs aren't hot? NO. It's just different. Until you watch a few hours at bondagejeopardy.com, extremeboyz.com, and tieguyuk.com, I don't know that you can tell me I don't know what I am talking about. Akasha

RCdc -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 11:11:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I know some are very eager to find a way to jump on me morally. And then 'suddenly everyone has morals' point gets used - usually as a way to justify that when people disagree with a viewpoint. It's the same as when people throw in the 'your kink is not ok' line too. It has fuck all to do with morals - it's an ethical point, not a moral one. the.dark.

RCdc -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 11:17:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize Are you suggesting that because someone doesn't post on a thread it means they agree with the OP of that topic? Nope. the.dark.

catize -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 11:20:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: catize Are you suggesting that because someone doesn't post on a thread it means they agree with the OP of that topic? Nope. the.dark. Just checking! Thanks for responding.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 11:20:24 AM)
~fast reply~ Ok, I think I've figured this out after several of these "lying and honesty" threads.... Here's what it boils down to. I am a liar by trade. I write fiction -- this is storytelling, and is, actually, making money from telling lies... so I really -can't- say that I won't lie. The issue, for me, seems to be about whether or not it is done with the intention to deceive where it may cause someone to be hurt. My stories won't hurt someone. If they don't like what I'm writing, they won't read it. It's fiction, so it isn't going to hurt someone. OTOH, pretending to be what you are not, regardless of the reason or whether or not there is the chance of getting caught... that could, conceivably, hurt someone if the cat got let out of the bag -- if nothing else, it might leave that person feeling like a fool for trusting... so that is where I've figured out that I draw the line. If my recreation could non-consensually damage someone else... I can't go there. CFB

DominaYork -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 11:21:32 AM)
Okay I read page one of comments and page four and skipped the middle... sue me if I repeat something. AAkasha, I agree, gay guys are hot. I'll watch gay porn over straight porn any day. I make my living writing yaoi novels for goodness sake. (Email me and I'll send you the link.) An online fantasy is an online fantasy and if indulged in, well, I highly doubt it would shred the moral fabric of the universe. That said, it's leaving a bad taste in your mouth becuase it's a lie. Bottom line, end of story, it's a lie. The dude on the other end will be thinking some guy sitting at his computer is enjoying his show, that he's being wanted and desired by this guy and it'll all be a lie. It's a fantasy for you, a role play but to him he's accepting you at face value. It's a betrayal of his trust and sure you'll never meet him and you don't know him but how would you feel in his shoes?

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 11:23:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha No, I find gay bondage bottoms to be hot. If you watched enough gay porn like I do, you would know what I mean. They present themselves differently - it's that simple. I have many men that submit to me regularly, including my husband. I watch a lot of gay bdsm porn (because the focus in het bdsm porn is always on the femdom, not the bottom) and the submissives are simply hot - there's no way of denying that. Does that mean I think straight males subs aren't hot? NO. It's just different. Until you watch a few hours at bondagejeopardy.com, extremeboyz.com, and tieguyuk.com, I don't know that you can tell me I don't know what I am talking about. Akasha I agree -- gay bondage bottoms are -sooooo- hot. I got lucky with some friends who let me observe on their scenes, and it is amazingly, scorchingly HOT... just a completely different scope of being. CFB

Emperor1956 -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 1:00:04 PM)
FR: Actually after reading AAkasha's responses, I think the issue here is her severe Internet pornography addiction. She watches porn for hours, apparently, she promotes porn, she buys porn, she sells porn, she lies about her status to get porn. The focus shouldn't be on "this poor immoral woman", or "this poor woman who is not true to her self", or the "damage she is doing to her soul" by contemplating the deceptive behavior in the OP. Those of you with any compassion should be helping her overcome this horrific, debilitating disease. Porn addiction/sex addiction is widely recognized as just as damaging to the victim (and her family and her relationships) as alcohol, drugs or gambling. Where is the soul of CollarMe? E.

AAkasha -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 1:05:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Emperor1956 FR: Actually after reading AAkasha's responses, I think the issue here is her severe Internet pornography addiction. She watches porn for hours, apparently, she promotes porn, she buys porn, she sells porn, she lies about her status to get porn. The focus shouldn't be on "this poor immoral woman", or "this poor woman who is not true to her self", or the "damage she is doing to her soul" by contemplating the deceptive behavior in the OP. Those of you with any compassion should be helping her overcome this horrific, debilitating disease. Porn addiction/sex addiction is widely recognized as just as damaging to the victim (and her family and her relationships) as alcohol, drugs or gambling. Where is the soul of CollarMe? E. Great response! Yes, I LOVE porn and I watch tons of it. In fact, I hope to produce some in the future - but probably not for a year until I have it all in order. One correction though, I don't lie about my status to get porn. The entire point of this thread is that I ethically can't do that. I have pretty much reconfirmed that I won't be going there, but it's an interesting ethical "exercise" to think it through. I also do think some classic signs of addiction are how the action has a negative impact. I may spend a lot of money on my gay bsdm smut, but it's money that I have enough of. And it sure spices up my sex life, not hampers it. I just wish there was more quality m/m bondage porn. I cannot wait for kink.com to open their m/m line -- waterbondage.com for hot gay bondage bottoms? I am SO there! Akasha

AAkasha -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 1:13:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha No, I find gay bondage bottoms to be hot. If you watched enough gay porn like I do, you would know what I mean. They present themselves differently - it's that simple. I have many men that submit to me regularly, including my husband. I watch a lot of gay bdsm porn (because the focus in het bdsm porn is always on the femdom, not the bottom) and the submissives are simply hot - there's no way of denying that. Does that mean I think straight males subs aren't hot? NO. It's just different. Until you watch a few hours at bondagejeopardy.com, extremeboyz.com, and tieguyuk.com, I don't know that you can tell me I don't know what I am talking about. Akasha I agree -- gay bondage bottoms are -sooooo- hot. I got lucky with some friends who let me observe on their scenes, and it is amazingly, scorchingly HOT... just a completely different scope of being. CFB I wish I could explain it in a way that het subs would know what we're talking about, but I can't quite put a finger on it. And I'm not sure why. So if an other ladies who adore m/m scenes can explain, please do! Akasha

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 2:29:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW I agree -- gay bondage bottoms are -sooooo- hot. I got lucky with some friends who let me observe on their scenes, and it is amazingly, scorchingly HOT... just a completely different scope of being. CFB I wish I could explain it in a way that het subs would know what we're talking about, but I can't quite put a finger on it. And I'm not sure why. So if an other ladies who adore m/m scenes can explain, please do! Akasha I wish I could explain it, but it's like a completely different universe... and it is interesting, because frankly, despite being pretty much 50-50 bi, lesbian bondage just doesn't go to the same place for me... so it isn't just the same-sex thing... there is something energetically 'different' about a gay bondage or extreme bottom... something so lush that it almost makes me salivate -- and for me, I know it isn't sexual. It really is something about the energy they have when they yield... and it comes across even in gay bdsm porn -- which is wild since some of the actors in that stuff are neither off-screen bottoms nor do they self-orient as "gay". shrugs Tell you what, though, if I could bottle it and give it to every boy who bottomed to me or served us... Yu uh ummmmm! [sm=passthelube.gif] Hey... I wonder if this qualifies me for that coveted 'fag hag' title....

tsatske -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 2:59:53 PM)
A lot of people won't admit to doing this, and i am sure that there are plenty of people who truly never have, but i think a lot of people do this at some point, while new to the whole web thing. I did. Once. for maybe 20 minutes, the first week I had my first (modern, you know, internet capable) computer, which was about 15 years ago, back when AOL was the real net and charged by the minute. It seemed perfect to me. The perfect chance to pretend to be someone - it sounded like fun. Like a role playing game, only interactive, real time, and without the conflicting visuals sitting in front of you. (It gets hard to visualize the 200 lb hairy guy roling the dice as a 12 year old red head from an alien planet, sometimes) I carefully wrote out a whole persona for myself, just like i would do in a role playing game. wrote all my stats and bio details so i wouldn't cross myself with contridictions. I went online, found a chat room, and pretended to be the character i wrote. Within minutes i got into a conversation with a nice fireman from another city in my state. And i thought - wow, if this isn't stupid. What if i meet someone i really like - he is not going to be happy with me having to back track and tell him that i lied to him - there goes that whole opertunity. That was the end of that. I even tried Gor rooms, just becuase, there, (in certain ones - and those were the ones i tried, because that is what i experemented with) it is up front and known that you are 'in character'. But the rules of the room were too elaborate, plus, people never spoke 'OOC' - so where is your chance to get to know someone there? This is just another tool for meeting actual people and making friends. I always used to have penpals, back in the day. so i am afraid - no judgement, but, it just doesn't work for me. Have you thought of putting up a profile, and admiting to everyone on your first chat that you are a Domme woman looking for a hot gay guy to vidcam Domme? MOst will poof right away, but when you meet one who likes the sound of that, you will be able to be up front about what you are doing, and you will have a fun new playmate.

beargonewild -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 3:13:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha ...sign up on a gay BDSM message board/personals site with a fake male profile and pick up 'cute gay bondage bottoms', pretend to be a top, get them on cam, make them do stuff while I pleasure myself, but never agree to talk on the phone, reveal my gender or meet them in real life? Is it unethical if I tell them up front I never will meet them but am just looking for online jollies, but still never reveal my true gender? If I go through the whole process of filling out a profile and make all the stuff up just so I can get off on looking at guys on cam in bondage, does that make me a cheat and a liar? No, I have not done it. But I have thought about it. I don't think I could ever bring myself to do it, but I can't help but think that it's done a lot in the het online community across all spectrums, and to some degree, it's "buyer beware"; if the guy on the cam is getting off on it just as much and didn't ask, who cares if he thinks I'm a hairy bear dude when I'm really a chick? I guess I care. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'll never do it. Maybe I should - screw it, right? Thoughts? Akasha Akasha Even in the gay themed sites, whether it's just to meet other men for short or long term relationships or a gay dating site the issue of issue of false profiles are common there also. Granted there are gay men who don't care if the person behind the profile is who they say they are or not, all that person is looking is a way to get his rocks off without and sort of emotional attachment at all. As a gay male, I have prowled these sites and always keep a health level of skepticism about the person I message with until we decide to meet for coffee or whatever. I will not tell you what you had considered doing is right or wrong as that isn't for me to say so. If both parties know the purpose is just to engage in an online fantasy without meeting then great. Where I would draw the line is when one leads the other person on to believing there is a great possibility of working towards some sort of a real time relationship and then does everything to prevent that happening. Like I said, this is how my ethics work and it is not your ethics. However you decide will be governed by your own morals/ethics which you live your life by.

kiwisub12 -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 3:14:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 I don't understand the appeal of making gay males submit to a woman. I am thinking that is part of what gets the OP off in this scenerio. Whats wrong with men who like women? Sounds to me that you have issues. and yes - dishonest, disrespectful and just plain wrong. No, I find gay bondage bottoms to be hot. If you watched enough gay porn like I do, you would know what I mean. They present themselves differently - it's that simple. I have many men that submit to me regularly, including my husband. I watch a lot of gay bdsm porn (because the focus in het bdsm porn is always on the femdom, not the bottom) and the submissives are simply hot - there's no way of denying that. Does that mean I think straight males subs aren't hot? NO. It's just different. Until you watch a few hours at bondagejeopardy.com, extremeboyz.com, and tieguyuk.com, I don't know that you can tell me I don't know what I am talking about. Akasha This post isn't about wheither or not gay males are hot (yes), but wheither or not its wrong to pretend to be a gay male so you can watch some poor schmuck perform for your amusement - and IMO - regardless of wheither he knows or not - it is. As you well know if you listen to your gut - which apparently you did. If you like gay male porn that much - watch that, not deceive some guy who is trying to get his jollys from safe sex.

SageFemmexx -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 3:29:48 PM)
I know of a fake FemmeDom site where the sub has been instructed to troll for business. Apparently her dominant has decided it will make her a better submissive to fake being a domme and bossing lil subbie boys around for profit. http://www.freewebs.com/goddesscalico/femalesupremacy.htm

darchChylde -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 3:38:22 PM)
FAST REPLY: If it makes you feel any better, Aakasha; i've always secretly suspected you were really a hairy bear dude.

beargonewild -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 3:44:05 PM)
And never underestimate the Power of The Fur!

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 3:44:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I wish I could explain it in a way that het subs would know what we're talking about, but I can't quite put a finger on it. And I'm not sure why. So if an other ladies who adore m/m scenes can explain, please do! The stereotype about most gay men taking really good care of themselves tends to be fairly true in my experience, especially when you compare it to a hetero guy. Just keep this in mind when I break this down into my train of logic here. Gay man = pretty One pretty = happy Pyrrsefanie Two pretties = HOT Why have one shiny when you can have two, and furthermore, have two making out with each other? I know the argument's going to be brought up "why not just watch lesbian porn" but sometimes the dick is where it's at. DISCLAIMER: I speak only for myself and am damn near wasted right now. Apologies if this makes no sense.

gobsmack -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 5:16:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie Just keep this in mind when I break this down into my train of logic here. Gay man = pretty One pretty = happy Pyrrsefanie Two pretties = HOT Why have one shiny when you can have two, and furthermore, have two making out with each other? I know the argument's going to be brought up "why not just watch lesbian porn" but sometimes the dick is where it's at. DISCLAIMER: I speak only for myself and am damn near wasted right now. Apologies if this makes no sense. It makes perfect sense. This is the same reason why some guys like lesbian porn. One girl is great. Add in a second girl and it's double the eye candy.

christine1 -> RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... (8/23/2008 5:45:50 PM)
not interested in "pretties" but yay for those who are. as a side note, i'm a little buzzed if that makes any difference at all.

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