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RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"?


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RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 3:36:20 PM   
BbwCanaDomme


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline 		This is an email exchange that just happened, I'll leave the name out, but this I think is a pretty good example of why a lot of dommes don't answer all emails I think.;

<redacted>
"luv to be ur toilet"
 
Me

"well that's just super for you"
 
<redacted>
"no u save money and water theres no flushing"
 
Me
 
"it's also gross and messy and you live at the other end of the continent"
 
<redacted>
"it might be gross but not messy im a expert what i do it seems like you might like to use a slave for toilet duties"
 
Me
"I'm not sure where you got that idea, but no."
 
<redacted>
because u keep talking to me
 

And there you go! Any response to emails can be misinterpreted as interest.


< Message edited by BbwCanaDomme -- 8/26/2008 3:37:39 PM >

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 3:43:55 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BbwCanaDomme

This is an email exchange that just happened, I'll leave the name out, but this I think is a pretty good example of why a lot of dommes don't answer all emails I think.;

<redacted>
"luv to be ur toilet"
 
Me

"well that's just super for you"
 
<redacted>
"no u save money and water theres no flushing"
 
Me
 
"it's also gross and messy and you live at the other end of the continent"
 
<redacted>
"it might be gross but not messy im a expert what i do it seems like you might like to use a slave for toilet duties"
 
Me
"I'm not sure where you got that idea, but no."
 
<redacted>
because u keep talking to me
 

And there you go! Any response to emails can be misinterpreted as interest.



I'm not really surprised in that particular example. From what I'm reading, you didn't even use the word no until the third communication. Up until that point, I don't see anything that directly indicated you did not want to continue to communicate with the individual... As gross as I feel his words were, I don't see the continuation of that unusual exchange being entirely his fault. You essentially baited him with "well that's just super for you".

Why egg these guys on, and then complain about them later?

Edited to add a point.


< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 8/26/2008 3:47:52 PM >

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to BbwCanaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 3:50:04 PM   
BbwCanaDomme


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline 		Really? I thought saying it was gross was pretty clear. Anyways, I stopped responding after that and have had 3 more, equally as gross, if not grosser messages from him over the course of the last 10 minutes. So now blocking has to happen, where if I hadn't responded at all, I don't think it would have proceeded to the level of gross that it has.

(in reply to E2Sweet)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 5:22:50 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BbwCanaDomme

Really? I thought saying it was gross was pretty clear...


Well men are often known for not responding to subtlety, and in society are usually the pursuers, made to press on until they get their chance to impress. Sometimes you do have to hit them over the head with extreme clarity for them to get what you're trying to say.


_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to BbwCanaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 5:44:31 PM   
RayvenGoddess


Posts: 77
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

For a average male sub to get a reply, his email and profile has to stand out from most male subs to qualify the interest of most dommes. A male sub has to be extra interesting or extra intelligent than most average men next door to be worthy enough. But how many dommes have the capability or status of standing them selves out from most dommes and being extra interesting and intelligent than most average women next door? It also seems that bi sexual women will more easily give an average woman a chance who doesn't stand her self out from the rest.

Yes, it is rude to place your self above the other gender, unfortunately, 99 percent of the dommes do on this site.


Wow, sounds like someone has tasted some sour grapes ...

We dominant women are not placing ourselves over anyone based on their gender.  We are trying to deal with the deluge.  I half-half wish that all of these people stating how they hate it that dominant women are rude to them for this and that would create a fake dominant woman's profile (not really though as there are already too many of those floating around ruining our reputation).  No pic, no description, just a plain profile and let them sit back and wait.  I swear to you that within the first day it will be physically imposible to write back to everyone, let alone even read them all.  As the account get older the emails per day trickle down, but it never goes away and by that time we are usually so jaded by our first few minutes on this site that you couldn't pay us to write back a "thanks but no thanks".

It is not a case of a few bad apples that ruin the reputation of the orchard; it is a bad orchard that ruins the chances of a few good apples finding someone to take a bite.

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 5:49:08 PM   
RayvenGoddess


Posts: 77
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BbwCanaDomme

<redacted>
"luv to be ur toilet"
 
Me

"well that's just super for you"


Lol, well I must say that you did lead him on.  Sarcasm really doesn't transfer in written word unless that person knows your real-life personality well.  For all that poor bastard knew you could have been serious.

(in reply to BbwCanaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 5:54:43 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

A Mistress can step out of her front door, throw a stick and hit a submissive man in the face.


and he'll immediately prostrate himself before her and say "Thank you Mistress, may I have another?"

(in reply to SoulPiercer)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 6:16:03 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

And what made my attitude be this way to begin with? Oh that’s right, the negative attitude the dommes display towards males to begin with which is, we are disposable and valueless.

Adults who blame their behavior on other people are useless, and gender has nothing to do with it.  What good is a person who can't take responsibility for their own behavior and instead chooses to acts like a victim and complain how unfair things are?

~stef

_____________________________

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"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 6:34:48 PM   
kittengirl8


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		I had a message in my profile for a couple weeks saying, "There is no reason to assume I owe you anything, so rude emails concerning my lack of response to previous emails are unjustified."

I got more than a few emails saying that message was rude and that not responding to people was inappropriate. Or some other BS like that. But... it was one of only 3 or 4 sentences in my profile. Why would anyone respond to that profile in the first place? (Oh, people are desperate... Duh.)

It's foolish to expect people to respond to everything, as if their lives revolve around making sure everyone is clear that they aren't interested.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 6:41:49 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer
A Mistress can step out of her front door, throw a stick and hit a submissive man in the face.

Hahahaha.... I love your posts.
quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsub
I don't think the bad behavior of a few subs should be an excuse for rude behavior on the part of a Mistress.


Yes, yes it is. I do not reply to virtually 99% of emails I get. Why? Because men on this site tend to be a pain in the a** when even gently rejected.


You can tell I am new to the net because I thought all of this time that it was the rule that a subfem couldn't spit in the wind without hitting a dominant lover.

Ok...maybe twice to hit the lover.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:22:54 PM   
bottomboy81


Posts: 74
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Adults who blame their behavior on other people are useless, and gender has nothing to do with it


Okay, going by your logic, that means all male subs can act anyway they want and be as unfair as they want, if the dommes show bitterness towards it, it means they are useless and it’s their fault for being angry about it. Not to mention, this also includes any domme who shows bitterness towards behaviours such as subs not reading profiles and subs who are only after sex.

quote:

What good is a person who can't take responsibility for their own behavior and instead chooses to acts like a victim and complain how unfair things are?


I am taking responsibility, it’s called having a spine. It’s also called “raising the issue” instead of doing nothing at all which is the usual case to any male problem thanks to political correct rules. It’s completely taboo to talk about the bad behaviour from the dommes.

It takes an adult to face the issue instead of ignoring it and running away from it.

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:24:16 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		There's a difference between talking about it...and whining about it.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:28:21 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		How many silly, inane and just plain stoopid emails do you think  most women here get a day?

It boggles the mind to think that a personal response should be given to all of them

Jeff

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:29:17 PM   
bottomboy81


Posts: 74
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

There's a difference between talking about it...and whining about it.


There is no way to talk about these issues without it being classed as a complaint or whine. It's impossible to NOT class it as a complaint if you talk about a problem to the people who cause it.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:34:06 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81
I am taking responsibility, it’s called having a spine. It’s also called “raising the issue” instead of doing nothing at all which is the usual case to any male problem thanks to political correct rules. It’s completely taboo to talk about the bad behaviour from the dommes.

It takes an adult to face the issue instead of ignoring it and running away from it.


Nothing make the folks in this here town happier than sweeping generalizations

Jeffwey

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:34:42 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		How's that working for you so far?


Dr. Phil


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:34:51 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		There are ways to talk about things without sounding like someone pissed in your wheaties.

quote:

And what made my attitude be this way to begin with? Oh that’s right, the negative attitude the dommes display towards males to begin with which is, we are disposable and valueless.


I mean, come on....objectively, you cant see the whine in that??

How about rephrasing it to something like: I've had quite a few negative experiences with femdoms that have left me feeling frustrated, and angry. These women appear to have exceedingly low opinions of malesubs.


See? Not so whiny sounding, and probably more conducive to an actual conversation about the subject.

YMMV


< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 8/26/2008 7:35:45 PM >

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:35:14 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

I've noticed that most Dommes that I send messages to on CollarMe completely ignore me. Am I crazy in thinking this is an incredibly rude way to treat someone who just sent you an honest, heartfelt message expressing an interest in you?


And....?

(in reply to youngstownsubm)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:36:29 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Wow, I just got an honest, heartfelt message from someone.  It consisted of:  Pic?


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not inte... - 8/26/2008 7:36:34 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		funny,I get replies about half the time. Even with one liners.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 80
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