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S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 9:16:19 AM

UmbraDomina

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Why and when did S&M / BDSM become so politically correct?
Back in the day ( when the earth was flat and dinosaurs roamed the land...lol) S&M was pretty straight forward...... one person wanted their ass beaten, one person wanted to beat their ass. The dominant partner was in charge of the play, actions, and safety of the submissive and the submissive partner submitted their body, mind and soul to the dominant.
I would love to see a few other people's opinions of how S&M has developed over the years, for good or bad.

< Message edited by UmbraDomina -- 8/27/2008 9:44:50 AM >

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 9:18:51 AM

tammystarm

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being a very old fashioned gal i agree!! i hate that its gone all weird!! lol.. i am very thankful that i have a wonderful Master who is very old fashioned as well

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 9:25:50 AM

Missokyst

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I didnt know this was bdsm until I found it on the net. I am fairly certain that the men I have been with didnt really name it either. It would just evolve. One day I would find myself ass over the sofa with a belt at my butt, another I might be naked and left outside on the backyard patio until I apologized for something, and sometimes it was just being bound up and tormented sexually for hours on end until he shoved his dick in my mouth to cum.
Even on my own without a serious relationship I would do things that were not safe, or pc. And yet I live.
Once people are exposed to new things and it becomes more common, rules will happen. Someone out there always wants to regulate what we do in the interest of "safety".
Kyst

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 9:47:49 AM

RCdc

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And it has altered how?

the.dark.

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 9:52:22 AM

leadership527

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Ah yes, the good ol' days when women glowed and men thundered... oh wait, that was only in Australia and they have vegamite there (*shudders*)

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 9:53:26 AM

LATEXBABY64

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a lot of ways tons of ways liberal vs conservitive vs i am right your wrong vs pc against rt vs age and expernce

in a nut shell as a good domme told me we have become a age of i am entitled how stupid is that
lol but it is true what the op is saying

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 9:56:15 AM

faerytattoodgirl

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quote:

one person wanted their ass beaten, one person wanted to beat their ass.

i miss these days.....and now you have to pay actual cash for it..... inflation..gah!

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 10:06:04 AM

colouredin

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im going to be semantic here because its fun :D

S&M is sadism and masochism, doesnt have to be involved with D/s, just pointing out because you seemed to link the two.

In my view? 'back in the day' as in the origins of the term sadism meant something differant from what it means today check out de sade. In general terms though and the way that you are expressing it, sadists STILL get off on inflicting pain and masochists STILL get off on recieving it. Dom's STILL take charge of the situation subs STILL submit to the Dom and to be honest I dont get where you got the idea that its not like that

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 10:17:46 AM

UmbraDomina

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

im going to be semantic here because its fun :D

S&M is sadism and masochism, doesnt have to be involved with D/s, just pointing out because you seemed to link the two.

In my view? 'back in the day' as in the origins of the term sadism meant something differant from what it means today check out de sade. In general terms though and the way that you are expressing it, sadists STILL get off on inflicting pain and masochists STILL get off on recieving it. Dom's STILL take charge of the situation subs STILL submit to the Dom and to be honest I dont get where you got the idea that its not like that

I understand the semantics, I grouped it as I did since in todays world it seems to have become interchangeable.
And the questions was simply how S&M has developed over the years, for good or bad.
My personal opinion is that in the rush for it to be accepted by all, and welcomed by all ( including vanilla folk) it has become too PC. ( Just my personal opinion.)

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~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 10:19:48 AM

colouredin

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Im not dissagreeing with your opinion im saying that i dont really get what your opinion is, how has it become too pc? in what way?

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 10:32:25 AM

UmbraDomina

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I guess the best way I can explain what I mean by PC, I call the disneyland effect...... S&M at one time was dark, full of loud screams, dark corners, sweat, tears... strong leather covered dominants, who played by their own rules. Now it seems to be lighter..... fluffy....... almost sweet. Does that make any sence?

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~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 10:44:33 AM

leadership527

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Yup, that makes perfect sense Umbra... In fact, I only half-jokingly call myself a "Disney Dom". I wouldn't say that I feel particularly PC, I just have no interest or room in my life for "darkness". From my standpoint, being a badass is something I do when badassedness is required, not something I enjoy.

In talking to some people with way more experience than me, what I'm hearing is pattern that says people like me have ALWAYS come into the scene... and just as promptly, turned right around again. The scene offers little to people like me. It is populated by the darksters for starters. I have no need to use it as a dating strategy since I'm married and likely will be for the rest of my life. And, really, when you get down to it, those in "the scene" really don't know very much of interest to me. They could explain to me at length how to whip my slave (and if we ever get into SM, I will most surely avail myself of that knowledge). But finding someone in the scene who can talk coherently about what it means to train a slave is... well... so far, I haven't had much luck. Honestly I've gotten much better "dom advice" from Colin Powel than I have anyone in "the scene".

What Michael tells me is that this has always been the dynamic (I'm too new to know historical trends from first-hand knowledge). His suspicion is that those "in the scene" have always represented only the tip of the iceberg. That us white-bread suburbanites have always been the larger but invisible fraction who found BDSM, took one look at "the scene" and fled back to their living rooms to happily do WIITTD without all the negative vibes (negative from their and my perspective of course). My guess is that with the influx of new participants, those trends are getting stronger and stronger. It's going to be interesting to me to see how "the scene" develops... does it become progressively more whitebread (and then I'm certain, split yet again) or do the dark and dangerous kinksters circle the wagons and seek to drive off people like me (that's fine, I get them needing their own space for their own energies). It could go either way in my mind.

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 10:56:51 AM

colouredin

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ahhh ok I get you now, personally i dont like the 'dark' referances I have been in a relationship with some very interesting people who did have a preoccupation with the darkness of it all, but to me calling it dark is like needing something to make it more edgy rather than the simple fact that masochists like pain , you dont need to be preoccupied with sinister things to enjoy it, i am a bit of a girly girl I like pop music and whatnot and though I can enjoy the imagry darkness it isnt the be all and end all as the result is the same thing to me, sure it can get you in the mood and whatever but for me i dont need to dress it up and make it fancy its just an element of me, im not going to start listening to metal music and dress all in black to proove I am what I am if you get me?

I know people who refer to themselves as fluffy Doms but to me thats a bit differant I think people can have an aura about them without needing the referance. I think that possibly it goes hand in hand with increasing sexual liberation though BDSM is more acceptable and people are more free with kinks and whatever so therefore it has obviously expanded to include far more people

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 10:59:10 AM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina
Why and when did S&M / BDSM become so politically correct?

When swingers with whips started waving SSC banners claiming to be lions not gazelles.

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 11:10:00 AM

UmbraDomina

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

ahhh ok I get you now, personally i dont like the 'dark' referances I have been in a relationship with some very interesting people who did have a preoccupation with the darkness of it all, but to me calling it dark is like needing something to make it more edgy rather than the simple fact that masochists like pain , you dont need to be preoccupied with sinister things to enjoy it, i am a bit of a girly girl I like pop music and whatnot and though I can enjoy the imagry darkness it isnt the be all and end all as the result is the same thing to me, sure it can get you in the mood and whatever but for me i dont need to dress it up and make it fancy its just an element of me, im not going to start listening to metal music and dress all in black to proove I am what I am if you get me?

*laughs* I get you, and I have zero problems with that. I personally dislike most metal music.... I prefer classical, or jazz.... or Jimmy Buffet!!!! (*laughs* ever tried caning someone to margaritaville? it's funny)
I very rarely dress in black.... I am more a beachbum/old hippy/ yuppy type.

But...... I still like to enjoy the shadows...... the forbiden, the dark.

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~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 11:15:54 AM

colouredin

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wow beachbum hippy type sound like my kind of person

I agree with what you are saying, and for most of us the life we live is to an extent always going to be in ther shadows unless it becomes the norm, not likely (mind you walking down bristol high street in full on fet gear during the day is fantastically fun) it will still be hiden to a large extent not least because a lot of it is sexual practgice which on an individual level is mostly kept behind closed doors

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I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 11:44:05 AM

UmbraDomina

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so what has changed, for good or bad, within the S&M world as you see it? Since you have discovered it, what has grown, died, fallen by the way side?

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 11:48:58 AM

Wheldrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

Why and when did S&M / BDSM become so politically correct?

In my opinion, it's not just BDSM - it's our whole damn culture. Squeamishness, hypersensitivity and exaggerated risk-aversion seem to be everywhere. Sometimes the sweetness and light can be just unbearable.

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 11:57:07 AM

softpjOS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

I guess the best way I can explain what I mean by PC, I call the disneyland effect...... S&M at one time was dark, full of loud screams, dark corners, sweat, tears... strong leather covered dominants, who played by their own rules. Now it seems to be lighter..... fluffy....... almost sweet. Does that make any sence?

Now that would get me to drop my disney "hard limit" and return to ratland in a heart beat! Dommesland, a spanking ride... mmmm roflol. Growing up/living so close to ratlando, after trip 391 to the park i said never again!

my take on the whole "evolution" of *what we do*, is truly no different than anything else in this world. The more diverse the people that become involved, more activities/behaviors are incorporated, the *lifestyle* becomes "exposed" in a "new light" and the darkness associated with it starts to fade. It's nothing more than people opening their eyes, being open minded and willing to accept people as they are.

Trust me, there are still many many people that will never accept any part of it, and to those people, it will remain a very dark, fearful thing to them.

S/m D/s will never be fully accepted by society, no different than being gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered..... the dark corners will remain a fact of life for many of us and when we do find an accepting group we'll step out of the dark embrace it.

Perhaps this is the "fluffy side" You are seeing. People coming into this that aren't necessarily fitting into Your definition of "S/m-D/s" or what You expect to see. (absolutely not being judgemental in any way with that statement, *insert smile and friendly debate* so it's not taken wrong)

In my own, sometimes warped, opinion; we need to be more accepting of people that may not fall into our exact definintion of "lifestyle" or "BDSM" or *insert label of choice*, in order to have a sense of community and acceptance. Thus the "Your kink isn't My kink" saying that is so prevalent.

As for bringing "vanilla" into the scene, in some ways i guess i'm guilty of sugarcoating some of the things Mistress and i do, say to my husband... by sugarcoating i do not mean that i am in any way dishonest with him, i just don't give him all the details of a scene or our play. He knows when we play, how we play, he simply isn't comfortable in knowing intimate details such as bruises, cuts.

Personally i like the dark, and converting people over to the *dark side* ~giggles~

pj

*edited for typo*

< Message edited by softpjOS -- 8/27/2008 12:08:52 PM >

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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/27/2008 12:33:58 PM

TimeInEveryDay

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Maybe one positive aspect is the lessened possibility that one within the lifestyle will be persecuted from the outside?

Maybe the more gradual slopes of nowadays BDSM will remove some of the fear factor of mainstream society?

I dunno...

(in reply to softpjOS)

Post #: 20

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