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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 2:18:34 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

I miss the days when BDSM meant, Big Dick Small Mouth.

If she cain't fit it, then an ass whoopin' happens. For years I put tha cart afore tha horse. Now, that I'm enlightened as ta tha true meanin', I do tha whoopin' FIRST, then see if all the screams made her mouth bigger.

...Comments like this are why I keep most personal identifying information completely off my profile. Because, you know, yeah. Some people have no sense of humor.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 61

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 2:37:26 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

You know what 'dark' is, in BDSM terms. Admitting you might, even though you are M&s, that you might, just occasionally enjoy - wait for it - missionary sex!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, how vanilla.

the.dark.

no, omg that would be terrible could be real or true if you like missionary sex how boring lol

To the OP, if you start a debate where you take an initial standpoint and state an opinion which you did people will are are well within their rights to rip apart your opinion if they feel that it mkes no sense or simply isnt true as most people here have done.

The advent of the internet has had some positive changes in that its allowed like minded people to gather and chaqt about how they feel, it also opens peoples eyes to the fact that people dont 'do' S&M or D/s or whatever the same way, there are differant things that people get out of it. The fact that people get different things out of it doesnt make it less real and the fact that it appears that there are more people doesnt mean there actually are, as said before people were doing it in their bedrooms behhind closed doors. To me there is always too much drama about it all, i identify with the word submissive because it makes me happy i dont give a rats ass about why other people do it or how so long as it doesnt affect me, I dont see doing something because I enjoy it that doesnt hurt anyone else as being dark or shadowy, and if it was then how in the heck would the Dom e able to see what he was doing, that could cause some accidents :P

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 62

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 4:58:00 AM

Allondra

Posts: 68
Joined: 7/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

so what has changed, for good or bad, within the S&M world as you see it? Since you have discovered it, what has grown, died, fallen by the way side?

The main difference I can see from "back then" and present day is that many people are practising bdsm (acting out fantasies, trying on roles) online. I can't imagine that that went over very well in snail mail, and I don't think so many people were doing phone domination.

Another change: I remember being as appalled as everyone else when AOL users were let loose on the rest of us internet users for the first time (oh my gawd, what's *wrong* with those people, will they *ever* get a clue, they're not *like* us, they can't ftp!) -- and I think some "old-time bdsmers" feel the same way about young people, fluffy players, swingers, whatever your favourite peeve is, getting involved in something that used to be their own special space. *Shrug* Stuff changes.

I used to go to clubs and public events (heck, I used to *run* them) to meet people interested in the stuff I am interested in; these days I don't bother because I don't find those people there. So, yes, there have been changes, and some that I don't personally find positive, but so what.... I can adapt and still find fulfillment. For many, the changes that have occurred are a good thing. It will ever be thus.

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 63

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:07:17 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrrPete
The subs ,usually women, who think it's ok not to address a Dominant as Sir just because A. He isn't their Sir and B. He hasn't earned their respect yet.

From here on out I am The Empress. I wish to be addressed as "Your Excellency" at all times.

Cali
(What do you mean that just giving myself a title/description doesn't automatically cause everyone to address me the way I feel they should??? Must be that farkin' internet again.)

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to MrrPete)

Post #: 64

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:09:17 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

is anything ever politcally correct where did the hell did that term come from a 90s faupau
people that are so anal about the little t hings have to much time on their hands lol

oh and by the way if they ever change the first admin thingy a lot of you people are going to be sucken lol

< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 8/28/2008 5:10:40 AM >

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 65

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:10:30 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Dear The Empress

Its not just the internet, if i meet people calling themselves Dom doesnt mean ill call them Sir it seems weird to me, it would also imply that just because I am sub that ill make everyone else a cup of coffee yeah not really my thing

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 66

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:23:30 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

This thread is kind of amusing.
You've got the younger generation telling the older generation to get with the times.
The older generation saying the younger generation and the damned internet has spoiled things.
Then there's those who just 'do' bdsm in their own way and don't think things have changed anyway.

I'm personally with the third as i 'do' bdsm as i always have and screw what anyone else is doing or thinks about it. Honestly does it really matter if there are fluffy people in bdsm anymore than it matters if there are dark people in bdsm?

Really does anyone care if bdsm has become pc? Has it changed what you do? Has it altered your enjoyment, lifestyle, way of thinking?

Do you care if the younger generation think you are an old fuddy duddy stuck in your ways? Do you care if the older generation think you have ruined bdsm with the use of new fangled technology?

The more time you waste pondering questions about change, which is inevitable the less time you have to beat someones ass / get your ass beaten.

edited for bad spelling, grammar, in fact general bad typing.

< Message edited by missturbation -- 8/28/2008 5:27:52 AM >

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 67

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:27:14 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

what she said

... but in my day she would have had to say it in the third person

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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 68

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:28:18 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

questions are good as are opinions, this type of question can help people to understand the differances and on a site like this thats important we all share our opinions and views this can help explain where the views come from and hopefully therefore be more sympathetic to them and less judgemental, fundementally we all 'do' it our own way but this site isnt really so much about doing it as talking about it debate is good

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 69

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:34:52 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

I agree debate is good.
Unfortunately this thread seems to me to have become nothing more than a thinly veiled......
*your kink is not my kink and its not ok
*younger generation having digs at older generation
*older generation having digs at younger generation
It's not constructive.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 70

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:35:27 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

what they said

... but then in my day neither would have been allowed to speak unless spoken to first.

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 71

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:41:01 AM

WhiplashSmile2

Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

Is it more politically correct to cum inside a girls mouth before or after I've spanked her ass senseless?

Is it politically correct to towel off somebody after an S&M session, or more correct to make the bitch walk and get one herself?

Is it more politically correct to call them a fuck slut before of after the first crack of a flogger on their naked body?

Is it more politically correct to leave her ass tied up and sobbing for a few hours alone in a dark corner, or to release her and have her curl up next to me?

Man, you people are some serious freaks that have me asking myself some seriously fucked up questions that I've never asked myself before.

You people are just trying to mess with my brain...

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 72

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:41:25 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

hey hey hey

I'm an unowned free range princess brat .... didn't you get the memo?

I am above the law now ... you two on the other hand ... should both be punished!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 73

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:45:35 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

promises, promises.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 74

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:47:55 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

Is it more politically correct to cum inside a girls mouth before or after I've spanked her ass senseless?

Is it politically correct to towel off somebody after an S&M session, or more correct to make the bitch walk and get one herself?

Is it more politically correct to call them a fuck slut before of after the first crack of a flogger on their naked body?

Is it more politically correct to leave her ass tied up and sobbing for a few hours alone in a dark corner, or to release her and have her curl up next to me?

Man, you people are some serious freaks that have me asking myself some seriously fucked up questions that I've never asked myself before.

You people are just trying to mess with my brain...

Mess with your brain....????? I am sitting here panting after reading all this...
I'll take two dozen of all of the above to go please.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)

Post #: 75

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 5:51:17 AM

naturalsin

Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

Is it more politically correct to cum inside a girls mouth before or after I've spanked her ass senseless?

Is it politically correct to towel off somebody after an S&M session, or more correct to make the bitch walk and get one herself?

Is it more politically correct to call them a fuck slut before of after the first crack of a flogger on their naked body?

Is it more politically correct to leave her ass tied up and sobbing for a few hours alone in a dark corner, or to release her and have her curl up next to me?

does it matter? *drools* (in the most ladylike manner of course)

_____________________________

sinful

(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)

Post #: 76

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 9:37:28 AM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

Missionary sex? YES!!

OMG. pinned down. His weight on me. Dominanting me, taking me, His elbow on my hair. i muffle, can't breathe, elbo---hair.. Too Bad he says.

Bliss.

(in reply to naturalsin)

Post #: 77

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 10:45:46 AM

softpjOS

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

lol see if this can come back on topic as i'm trying to understand where You see a change. I personally haven't been involved in the *public* scene for that long and as such only know what i see at events as "the norm". Personal relationships, i truly couldn't care less how other people define what is right/wrong/fluffy within the boundries of those. It's when they decide to judge me on my own personal relationship that they get a reaction.

quote:

S&M was pretty straight forward...... one person wanted their ass beaten, one person wanted to beat their ass.

I don't see where this has really changed.

quote:

The dominant partner was in charge of the play, actions, and safety of the submissive and the submissive partner submitted their body, mind and soul to the dominant.

If You are addressing strictly play, say in a public setting involving two people not in a relationship, then yes, perhaps this is a bit different with people taking more time to negotiate a scene, discuss what the expectations are and the Dominant being very aware of the bottom/subs continued consent.

Sadly, we are in a time where law suits are tossed about like candy from a clown at a parade. Dominants have to be very aware and leary of whom they choose to play with, where they choose to play. Yes, this was also a problem *back in the day*, but as others have said, back then the only way to *find* this was to know someone and be invited into the "secret society". References, being recommended.

Today you can find a munch, play party with a simple internet search. No need to know anyone, just show up!

There are good and bad points about this. More people can come out and experience, see first hand what goes on, thus allowing people to see "us" in a different light. But i can see where it could also change the tone of the event.

quote:

strong leather covered dominants, who played by their own rules.

Suddenly you are not sure who will be accepting of your style, your level of play. If normally you do not allow use of a safeword, to play at a public space you must. Because now it's not a small gathering of the *usual suspects* that know you.

Having watched You play, and thinking about Your post, i can understand a little better Your line of thinking on this.

The last wicked, i found myself biting my tongue when a couple watching a scene stood behind me and acted as if they were watching a football game, complete with shouting and squealing at the couple playing. I found this to be rather disrespectful.

For some attending these events, it would seem they view it as a spectator sport instead of a personal interaction between two people. Yes, we play in public to be watched, but respect goes a long way from those being invited to witness a very personal moment between two people.

Can't say it was any different when dinosaurs roamed the earth ~smiles~ but think this is where You were heading with Your post.

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 78

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 10:57:13 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I think the worst thing about the public scene is "the vultures".....You are playing with someone in front of this crowd-you cannot stop them-and you know they have a habit of being disrespectful-and only in it for what they can get. However they can get it. Makes my skin crawl.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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Post #: 79

RE: S&M is now PC?? - 8/28/2008 12:07:34 PM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

The whole topic and question was to hear other peoples opinions on how S&M had changed, or grown, for good or bad over the time period they had been involved in it.
I started the topic off with one of the things I thought had changed and that was that S&M had become too PC.

in my comments "dark" is not a place with out light, it does not mean black clothes or metal music, dark is a place in the mind, and heart a dark shadowy forbiden place, where S&M lays all the dark and forbiden fantasies hide.

When I first started dabbling with S&M many years ago (still of an illegal age) I thought it was "dark" just the way you described it, something forbidden, something "wrong" but yet so right.
Over the years I have noticed some changes. Not so much with the environment or the "public" lifestyle, but more with myself and I'm sure I project those changes to others. These last two and a half years, after having gone through an emotional trauma I started to look at things differently. This is something that I am, and there's nothing to be ashamed about it etc..... and as a result this "darkness" that surrounded my vision and fantasies sort of dissapeared. Today, getting a good session of pain is as normal and everyday as brushing my teeth or making pancakes. I know this doesn't sound really sexy and noone would ever make a porn flick based on my life hahaha but I'm more happy and content, I get more out of the S/M sessions physically and mentally.
Does that make any sense?

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 80

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