WhiplashSmile2
Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina
*shakes my head*
The whole topic and question was to hear other peoples opinions on how S&M had changed, or grown, for good or bad over the time period they had been involved in it.
I started the topic off with one of the things I thought had changed and that was that S&M had become too PC.
Very few people have answered the actual question but instead choosen to pick my opinion apart......
in my comments "dark" is not a place with out light, it does not mean black clothes or metal music, dark is a place in the mind, and heart a dark shadowy forbiden place, where S&M lays all the dark and forbiden fantasies hide.
"In my opinion S&M has been becoming less and less PC and not more."
S&M itself has not changed much in term of being "dark" or not so "dark", actually S&M itself is a really simple and basic concept. I had posed an earlier question of the S&M including or not D/s.
What I'm about to write may piss a few people off, or perhaps not. The problem is not with the political correctness of S&M itself, it has to do with the fact S&M is part of something called BDSM, and the political correct D/s pills that are attached to it.
By looking at the history of BDSM, one would think that the GAY Leather Community were the only True ones to have developed S&M and bondage and everything. Things that have exisited in different Societies for thousdands of years.
Anyways, BDSM is the melting pot of many different kink sub-cultures. Some people refuse to acknowledge that BDSM is the big general umbrella that it is. Instead they somehow how this misguided notion, that since the Gay Leather Community that BDSM should be one in the same. That people should follow the way of the Leather.
Again, I stress the fact that BDSM is the melting pot of many different kink sub-cultures. Mind you the Gay Leather Community is one of many communities that are in this melting pot. Heretosexual people have been doing and were doing BDSM activitities and things long before the Gay Leather Communitity was thought about.
Social protocols and protocols in general were not created by the Leather community. The Leather Communitity in fact adopted many things and shaped them into their own Lifestyle.
So what does this have to do with S&M itself, you may be asking yourself? Actually to be honest with you very little. S&M alone can stand on it's own two feet. It does not have to be tightly coupled with BDSM, let alone the Leather Community or any other sub-sub culture of kink. S&M is very basic, those who love giving and recieving pain. Should be Pretty simple right? However this is not the case.
I've already seen one post on this thread, that was directed at the lack of protocols and respects that DOM don't recieve by not having everybody kiss ass and call them SIR. What they fail to understand, is that BDSM is not Leather. Leather is just one of many different communities inside BDSM now days.
Protocols have very little to do with the giving and recieving of pain. I assure you my roots or foundations of BDSM are not rooted in Leather. My roots came other places besides the Gay Leather Community. There are reasons why BDSM was born into existence. People seem to forget these reasons, then get their underwear in a twist and scream about how water down everything has become or is becoming.
I wish some people would embrace their own Sub Cultures inside the BDSM sub-culture and gain the enlightenment, that there sub-culture is one of many. The Gorean have their own, The Leather Communitity still exists, There's an M/s community, There's things such as MAsT, There are Married D/s couples doing this A La Carte even.
People have the freedom to pick and choose the protocols and things they wish to incorperating into their own Day to Day living. Power of the people. Which seems to not be Politically Correct to those grounded in the Old Guard or Leather Community ways.
Personally, I foresee the development of other Sub-Cultures in the BDSM community. This is what I honestly see as more and more people figure out what they have in common. The Goreans are one such community that has evolved without question.
Back to S&M again, not much has changed in terms of somebody flogging somebody. There are no politically correct or incorrect ways to practice S&M. Now some people that refuse to look at S&M as being something that can not stand on it's own two feet, will argue and debate this. They will bitch about the lack of respect and protocals, and that the world is going to hell in the hand basket. That all the new people coming into the lifestyle are fucking everything up. Again, they forget the reasons why BDSM was given birth to in the first place.
I believe every BDSM sub-culture should be supportive of it's own. Meaning to continue to develop and a grow, to have it's own grass roots movements. To get organized, to perhaps for people to start forming thier own grass root sub-culture movements. The Goreans are an excellent example of this, and what to do. They simply marked off thier own turf. They are not trying to thrust themselves down the throats of everybody else in the BDSM community at large.
Personally, I've never been attacked nor insulted by any Gorean that I'm aware of. In fact the Goreans don't even try to recruit me, they don't attempt to sway my mind in any way shape or form. I've never heard a Gorean proclaim that I'm practicing watered down BDSM, I've never have had a bad experience with a Gorean what-so-ever. This is on a personal note.
Now, in terms of S&M and myself. I guess well my taste for a little pain now and again is not the Politically correct thing for any self respecting true DOM or Master according to some people. I'm a Male Dom that has a sadomaso streak. However, it's simply wrong because it's a violation of D/s. I have had to get into this on a number of occasions. That while I enjoy recieving pain, I'm still in control of the relationship. I've not rolled over and started playing submissive on sombody. I'm anything but submissive when I'm recieving a little tender loving pain.
The fact remains that I'm dealing with the Politically Correctness of old school thinking and ways. I am more then happy to debate this and tear into the frabric of somebody elses PC Dogma. I feel that D/s is taken to extremes that it clouds people's ability to think. I honestly believe some people need to Decouple themselves with D/s overkill.
Whew... I'm taking a deep breath here. I wish some people would stop bitching about other people's free choice of how they incorperate BDSM into their day to day life. People are simply picking and choosing those things out of everything that is right for them. BDSM is not about extending Old Guard or The Leather Communitity ways into the rest of the world. BDSM was not intended to be the invasion of such sub0-cultures into the masses of society everywhere.
BDSM is an open door for anybody that's into kink on some level, and those who are into D/s relationships or those who are not. Dom couples are welcomed, switch couples are welcome, and etc. The involvement of heretrosexual people have changed things. The involvement of Bi-Sexual people have changed things. The involvement of people not engaging in D/s relationships have changed things. You can be simply into Bondage and nothing more. Bondage itself is a very simple concept to grasp like S&M is.
One really does not have to follow nor have shit in the way of protocals to engage in S&M play or Bondage.
In terms of Political Correctness, everybody should embrace their own slice of turf like the Goreans have, and not thrust it down everybody else throat. I think we'd all get a long a lot better. People need to work on their own local sub-cultures. BDSM munches are a little general. Don't expect people at a BDSM munch to conduct themselves in the same manner as those at Leather or Old Guard Event. Wake up and smell the realitity of what is going on.
Instead of bitch about it. I would be best to develop, cultivate, grow, protect, preserve your own BDSM sub-culture. For some people their BDSM sub-culture is how they live lives in their own household. That's the extend of it. They have no interest in being involved in an organized BDSM sub-culture. Well, I think everybody at this point gets the jest of what I'm expressing in this long winded post.
But what the hell, I'm just another pervy wanker on an adult sex site.
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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 
You are absolutely right, and you've helped me decide that I really am going to get that "Fake Dom" pin. Actually, what I want to do right now is to put on a pink t-shirt with lollipops and puppy dogs, take my ladyfriend to some play party where the attendees act all "dark" because they are wearing masks and wielding five different types of floggers... and perform the raceplay-baseball bat scene. Dark my ass. 
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RE: S&M is now PC?? - 
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