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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 8:40:38 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I'll volunteer to take the test Tag, but then, I'm a maso.  LOL!


Cali


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(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 8:45:06 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am a dom, so taking the test wouldn't help you out much, but I just want to leap on in and say that you shouldn't underestimate your readership---wayyyy too many of us on here are familiar with psychology, testing, and the like.



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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 8:45:49 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

and why would you choose that one? 


Because I have to pick something.  I considered "The Role Player", but I am sure people would bitch about that too.  The person I know who most closely fits this type is a girl who is only submissive inside of a rape fantasy, hence my label.  I am sure there are better labels...suggest one!

quote:


I think you are making leaps here... since... by putting them in that group you are saying they want to be forced to endure pain...  but they don't want to be controlled, dominanted or helpless... they just want to enjoy some wax play or fire play or a nice flogging that gives them a massaging sensation... maybe some cupping... or a variety of things that give them sensations but no pain.  Even knife play is incredible for some.. as far as a sensation and doesn't even hit any fears for them. 


Not following you here.  I am saying that "The Rape Victim" wants to be controlled, dominated and helpless, but doesn't like pain.  For example, they would only feel submissive when a handsome stranger broke into their apartment, tied them up using fur covered cuffs, and brought them to orgasm after orgasm in a gentle and loving way.  Sensation should be read as heavy sensation, as even wax play or a nice flogging is waaayyy too much pain for some people.

The terms are a bit over the top, but no one is 100% any of them.  People are a mix of things.  Am I "The Guardian" (ESTJ) or am I "The Field Marshall" (ENTJ)?  Truth is I am a bit of both.  Are my labels a bit over the top?  Maybe, but that makes for good discussions as well...

Taggard


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(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 8:49:48 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


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quote:



Have you ever volunteered to be the whipping post for a BDSM workshop?


if that means anyone can whip me...then hell no.  only 1 person will have that pleasure. 


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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 8:50:18 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
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Status: offline 		Here is my classification.
Non-sheeple.

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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 8:52:11 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
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From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
It seems your view point is from the observer.. and not actually from the person you put in the group. 


I guess we will have to just disagree here.  In my classification, Pain is something you get from your partner, Service is something you find in yourself.  Force is something you get from your partner, Ownership is something you find in yourself.

I think you might have to let go of your personal definitions for those words and see them in the context I am using them to get what I am talking about.  People are motivated by things both internal (self-improvement) and external (competition), and I believe that is applicable to BDSM personalities as well.

Taggard


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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 8:52:56 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:



Have you ever volunteered to be the whipping post for a BDSM workshop?


if that means anyone can whip me...then hell no.  only 1 person will have that pleasure. 



Faery, he means the person being whipped would be tied to YOU!  Bonus!!

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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 8:53:28 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:



Have you ever volunteered to be the whipping post for a BDSM workshop?


if that means anyone can whip me...then hell no.  only 1 person will have that pleasure. 



Only the demonstrator, an acknowledged expert in the activity, would do the activity with you. 


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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 9:10:17 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

I guess we will have to just disagree here.  In my classification, Pain is something you get from your partner, Service is something you find in yourself.  Force is something you get from your partner, Ownership is something you find in yourself.


Pain is something you get from your partner... I agree... but.. I have come across a bottom or two that caused pain upon themselves.. and yeah... I think it was a healthy situation... having said that..... I have come across some that did it and it wasn't healthy.  So.. in a general sense... I see where you coming from. in this.

Service... I see this as well...  sort of...  There is alot of internal satisfaction gained for many service submissives... but that doesn't explain submissives that are doing it for the reaction from the Dominants.. his/her pleasure from the service feeds the feelings satisfaction from the service that is done.

Force.. I see this one as well.. much clear to.. very similiar to pain.. but. and maybe alittle hard to force oneself to do something... though.. damn.. I have to force myself to go to the dentist!!! I haven't succeed at it very often *G*

Ownership... very much like service and I can see that the satisfisfaction is more internal... but.. In most cases it is the interactions with the Dominant that fulfill those internal desires... since I believe no person can feel owned without the owner. 

I wonder... it is not just about what Motivates the person.. Internal and External...

But from where the Fulfillment of those motivations orginate... Internal and External.

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(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 9:12:12 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
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quote:


Faery, he means the person being whipped would be tied to YOU! Bonus!!


i wouldnt mind being tied to sunnyfey or lynnxz


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I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 9:20:32 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
Not following you here.  I am saying that "The Rape Victim" wants to be controlled, dominated and helpless, but doesn't like pain. 


OK.. I understand that... but.. there are those that want sensation (not pain) and don't want to be controlled, dominanted and helpless.... mmmmmmm could these be those Dominanting from the Bottom people *G*

I agree that the Labels need work.. and maybe so do some of the definitions.  Yeah... people are not going to fit into the boxes so well or prefectly... but... dealing with those issues allows a person to see the flaws or even strengths of the system..  the Myers-Briggs.. works more on a range on those basic building blocks of the groups.  Hence is why you have -+ for the 4 blocks of your system.

Also... hit me that in most cases... one or two aspects are primary while the others are secondary the tertirary (fucking spelling)  So.. I think it is important in your system to bealbe to establish what a person's primary, secondary, etc are.   In other words.. where is their orientation focused on more than others.. Pain.. Service.. Ownership.. Force.

Lastly... I need to think more on the four blocks... I am not sure that I agree with them.... the first three yeah.... I am not so sure about Force.  I can see how Force can be wrapped up in the feelings of Ownership.  But it can be rather distinct.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 9:26:56 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
you shouldn't underestimate your readership---wayyyy too many of us on here are familiar with psychology, testing, and the like.


My comment wasn't aimed at the readership, but at some of the commentators.

Taggard


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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 9:33:31 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I agree that the Labels need work.. and maybe so do some of the definitions.


Help a brother out!  I came up with those labels and definitions in 10 mins...well, that and the 14 years of lifestyle experience that I have, but you know what I mean.

This is a conversation starter, not some finished product.  I think you have a good grasp of what I am doing, if you still don't really agree with it. So beat up on it...let me have it!

Taggard


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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 9:40:12 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

Help a brother out!  I came up with those labels and definitions in 10 mins...well, that and the 14 years of lifestyle experience that I have, but you know what I mean.



lol... ok.. but start with taking more than 10 minutes *G*

seriously.. if you are looking for this to be more acceptalbe to others... the labels need to be more of the type that don't draw alot of Emotional response... like "The Rape Victim"  In general... people don't like to be victims of anything.. and Rape well.. that is a very emotional intense term.  If they do draw emotional response.. it needs to be a positive one... something that draws them into it rather than repels them.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 9:40:28 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		i can help you out, dont call any of your labels a rape victim

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(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 9:51:05 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

lol... ok.. but start with taking more than 10 minutes *G*



According to my OKCupid test making thing, I have now put 3.5 hours into this...like I said, my first post was a conversation starter.

quote:


seriously.. if you are looking for this to be more acceptalbe to others... the labels need to be more of the type that don't draw alot of Emotional response... like "The Rape Victim"


I am not sure I am looking to be acceptable to others...that has never been a big interest of mine.  If we take out "The Rape Victim"...replace it with "The Victim"?  What other labels need work?

Taggard


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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 10:01:17 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh bother, yet another set of brand labels that I fail to fit into. 

It isn't so much your labeling things that seems rather telling, it is the labels you picked.  Very interesting.

I'd offer to take the test, but I'm going to label myself the lazy mongrel and decline.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 10:03:11 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
It isn't so much your labeling things that seems rather telling, it is the labels you picked.  Very interesting.


And what labels would you have picked?


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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 10:05:32 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		How about sex drive as one of the motivating factors?  I think that's a biggie.

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(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: Motivations for BDSM - 9/1/2008 10:07:02 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Personally I like quizzes like this- and I'm not threatened by labels. Jeeze people, its not like you have to have it tattooed on your forehead. People get so caught up in being open minded, that their brain falls out.

I'd agree with making the 'rape victim' into maybe just 'victim'.


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