RE: Proof Of Health

RE: Proof Of Health (Full Version)

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Briena -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/3/2008 7:53:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub No. But if we are thinking about having sex, I don't care what you tell me you've done. You're getting tested. End of story and I would believe that you are a virgin. However - for all I know you've currently got crabs from trying on a bathing suit or have herpes from wrestling around with someone who is having a lot of sex you don't even know about. Everything in life is a calculated risk - simply because the risk is low doesn't mean I should ignore it. *Personally, I think if you are offended by someone looking out for their health and* yours, you aren't ready to be having sex. RAMPANT APPLAUSE!** That is so freaking true. That was exactly my point when I said that if you get offended by someone asking when your last test was, than DONT be offended when they run to the door! Me, Id run away to the door screaming! That is a HUGE warning sign. Virgin or not, I dont know if you sucked some diseased dick, or ate some rank snatch, YOURE GETTING TESTED! My remaining STD free is one of my upmost personal priorities. Plus I have never heard of a clean STD test turning away dates... I have been married to hubby almost five years and with him almost seven. We still get STD tests because you never know what could happen. Plus hubby is in the military so its manditory for him to get the full shabang. STD free is the way to be :D

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/3/2008 10:04:40 PM)
So, you don't have any sexual contact at all don't fuck don't suck don't do anal, don't share toys with people like floggers and insertables, don't kiss don't fondle?. Diseases can be transmitted through everyday normal activities depending on the disease, and if you're having ANY sexual contact at all you can still get a disease. You can also get blood born diseases by shareing toys that break the skin. quote: ORIGINAL: flower2007 I don't do anything that transmit disease (don't believe that if you wish, I decided a long time ago not to try to convince people), so I'd be offended if someone asked...it would mean they didn't believe I am who I am. As far as most others though, do people still get insulted over that question? Condoms aren't 100% and like you said, it's possible to have something and not realize it. I didn't realize asking someone for proof was an issue anymore.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/3/2008 10:09:52 PM)
Speaking of being cagey it's the one thing I hate the most about my partner, he'll tell you half the info, like one time he was worried he might of had menongitus, an so he said hey if I start acting diffrent and strange and running fevers an you notice it, TELL ME ASAP, and I was like why an he wouldn't say why so I spent all day worrying he may have something that could make me sick or ill, or that he'd been dallying in something he had no business in. Turns out someone he knew died of it so it was on his mind. Nothing to worry about, but his cagey behavior made me worry tons and doubt him a bit. It also leads to mis understandings and thinking that one is lying when they're not. He's left me no choice but to believe he was lying when he wasn't because of cagey behavior. quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire I will NOT be involved with someone that cagy, even if they are clean. If they take that much offense at something that innocent its just a precursor for other issues. IMHO of course DV

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/3/2008 10:12:42 PM)
I remember a long time ago, there was a dom on these forrums, wh o came to share his story of a girl he was fucking who said she was clean of all diseases, yes she gets tested regularly an yes she'd clean. then turned out she had hepatitus, and didn't think that little tidbit was important enough to mention. quote: ORIGINAL: DomDolf I don't care what anyone says. Get tested and get tested often. Certain things can only be tested for effectively at the time of an outbreak. Don't take chances with anyone other than a tested and trusted partner if you want to have reasonable chances of staying clean. I have seen people catch things from people that were carriers and never showed a single sign of a problem. You don't have to not trust someone to ask for and expect a clean exam. I have been tested every six months since I was 17. So far so good. Dolf

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/3/2008 10:56:25 PM)
I personally don't kiss on first dates vanilla or not. quote: ORIGINAL: flower2007 And I'm still curious if anyone has actually gotten health records from a vanilla parnter that they've kissed goodnight after a first date.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 7:41:32 AM)
I agree, Miss...they are more at risk since they are the receptacle. Which is why I like to know whether or not their previous partners used condoms. But in being asked that question, many are insulted and think that I see them as an indiscriminant slut instead of seeing that I ask for my own knowledge and to help me in making a decision as to whether or not I choose to risk my health because, even if I wear a condom, that is not complete protection and if they have been with many partners who did not wear one, then my chances of catching something go up quite a bit, don't they? Look at your own post here. You seem miffed about a remark made that concerned the idea of women "thinking" that a man is "sayiung" that the woman is an indiscriminant slut by simply asking about her sexual history and health. The OP dealt with the poster questioning a woman about her sexual health and history and being willing to give his own. My post dealt with being willing to give my own, given my own sexual history and the fact that I deal with, in intimate fashions, people who carry sexually-transmittable diseases. It wasn't a slam against women, it was speaking to the frustration of many submissive's wrong-headed reaction to being questioned about their own sexual history and health. quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst Women are receptacles and in a sexual situation isn't being the one that the fluids being deposited more at risk then the male? If so, with so many men thinking only of their pleasure and their desire to ride bareback, perhaps it is men that should be considered indiscriminant sluts. Or at least uncaring ones. It boggles my mind that so many people are ok with playing with anyone who wont wear a jacket, in a casual situation. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I know, I know, some submissives will consider your asking as an indication that you see them as lying about the number of their previous sex partners...or about their use of condoms...or that you consider them and indiscriminant slut. They will be insulted. If they cannot be bothered...neither can I. And if they are insulted, then I have a feeling that my way of dominance will insult their point of view of D/s anyway.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 7:58:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: flower2007 quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW Tell you what, dear, I would STILL ask for testing. No insult to you, but I want to see it in writing. Does that mean I don't trust you... probably. The truth is, I don't trust -anyone-, even my doctor, where my health is concerned. I want to see the black-and-white. Do you -realize- how many people say "Oh, I don't have sex with anyone." and then come back later with herpes, vaginal warts (HPV), chlamydia, etc.? With HSV, HPV, chlamydia, syphilis, and gonnorhea, women may have ZERO symptoms, and the illness may lie dormant in -me- as well, until I spread it to someone else. And honestly...that's fine. But since I also don't play casually, I would have a HUGE problem with a potential relationship partner not believing I'm a very inexperienced virgin. You (the general you) have the right to ask, I have the right to walk away from someone who accuses me of lying and violating my own belief system. And I'm still curious if anyone has actually gotten health records from a vanilla parnter that they've kissed goodnight after a first date. I'd be willing to bet most haven't. Since that's as far as I've gone, I'm not sure why bringing BDSM into it makes the situation any different. You have a huge problem with someone who chooses to protect his health and his very LIFE by asking you to get tested? Because his asking you to get tested indicates he doesn't believe your story about being a virgin? Because let's be honest...anyone can run that story. But here's a question...are you that trusting with any 27-35 year old male you're dating? Do you believe that a 30 year old man is telling the truth when he says he's a virgin or is it different then? Are you willing to bet YOUR life on the "fact" that he is telling the truth? If you are not, why would you be insulted that he is not willing to risk his on your word alone? Sorry...in today's world, cynical as this sounds, I wouldn't take ANYONE's word that they are a virgin if they are over the age of 21. And I am not risking my life on it.

Missokyst -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 8:56:42 AM)
Actually it wasnt the fact that she was asked which miffed me. Anyone who plans to get intimate darned well better have some proof of health. But I would be annoyed if someone would fly to my area to meet me for a first meeting, lunch type deal, and he asked me that. It wouldnt bother me if I planned to have sex. It would bother me that someone from out of town assumed I might have sex simply because we met. LOL I meet a LOT of people. A fair amount of them make the assumption that because I meet them, I am open to a sexual encounter. They are incorrect. Another reason it bothered me regarding being the receptacle is that we as females are more at risk. And yet.. the OP openly states he goes bareback. There is a hypocrisy in my mind that the woman would be the wild card in his getting a disease. Putting a jacket on it would certainly help to protect both of them. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I agree, Miss...they are more at risk since they are the receptacle. Which is why I like to know whether or not their previous partners used condoms. But in being asked that question, many are insulted and think that I see them as an indiscriminant slut instead of seeing that I ask for my own knowledge and to help me in making a decision as to whether or not I choose to risk my health because, even if I wear a condom, that is not complete protection and if they have been with many partners who did not wear one, then my chances of catching something go up quite a bit, don't they? Look at your own post here. You seem miffed about a remark made that concerned the idea of women "thinking" that a man is "sayiung" that the woman is an indiscriminant slut by simply asking about her sexual history and health. The OP dealt with the poster questioning a woman about her sexual health and history and being willing to give his own. My post dealt with being willing to give my own, given my own sexual history and the fact that I deal with, in intimate fashions, people who carry sexually-transmittable diseases. It wasn't a slam against women, it was speaking to the frustration of many submissive's wrong-headed reaction to being questioned about their own sexual history and health. quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst Women are receptacles and in a sexual situation isn't being the one that the fluids being deposited more at risk then the male? If so, with so many men thinking only of their pleasure and their desire to ride bareback, perhaps it is men that should be considered indiscriminant sluts. Or at least uncaring ones. It boggles my mind that so many people are ok with playing with anyone who wont wear a jacket, in a casual situation. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I know, I know, some submissives will consider your asking as an indication that you see them as lying about the number of their previous sex partners...or about their use of condoms...or that you consider them and indiscriminant slut. They will be insulted. If they cannot be bothered...neither can I. And if they are insulted, then I have a feeling that my way of dominance will insult their point of view of D/s anyway.

ODadEO -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 9:10:44 AM)
Good topic If and when I take on a new slave, I will require everyone involved to have a series of tests done to assure us all and take any worry about that part of things out of the way. There is a service available all across the country, far as I know, where privacy (anonymity?) is maintained. The total cost is around $250, which is a little high maybe, but still within a reasonable range for a full line of tests.

silkenfire -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 9:49:45 AM)
I'm one of those crazies that has something against condoms. Is it a typical male reaction for me to say I don't like them? They make me uncomfortable. I have however been on birth control since I was 12 and am slowly adapting to the last 3 months I have been completely off. Now, I get tested about every 6 months -- it's been longer than that right now but I hadn't been active in a while either. It will happen again soon. I trust my partner right now and hope he's clean -- but you never know, even with tests. My last partner contracted something (maybe a UTI?) and the doctors ran test after test that came back clean. They had the nerve to say "the tests are clean and we haven't the slightest idea why". Then they brought me in because it's easier to test some things on a girl, and then didn't believe that my tests were clean either. Even when I had been on antibiotics for a different reason for a couple months. (And they wanted me to pay for all the crap they put me through!!) At any rate, I'm all for regular exams... but the disrespect I receive at the hands of doctors is pissing me off. I was once extremely active (orally) without protection... it's been a few years since that time of my life and have contracted nothing yet... I guess I'm just a terrible person for not "protecting" -- but I believe STDs are a great conversation that must be had when anything is going to happen between two people, and would never decline getting tested, etc. Now, if they're so phobic that they want it more often than I think is normal... they might have to be paying for it, but that's another question.

LadyPact -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 10:30:48 AM)
My last tests were almost six months ago. I'm usually really bad about dates, but I'm very familiar with the time frame on this one. I've posted this before, but here's a quick recap. Before My husband was going to be deployed to Korea, he wanted Me to have a physical, just to reassure him that My health was good. No, I'm not the best person on the planet about getting that yearly check up. I agreed to do it for his peace of mind. I went in, had the physical with a pap and had the panel run. I wasn't really concerned about it because My husband is military and tested regularly due to being in the service. There was no way for Me to have something he didn't have, so I didn't think a thing about it. That was right up until some days went by and some twit called Me on the phone to schedule a colposcopy because they thought I had cervical cancer. Long story short, I had the procedure, waited for what I thought was entirely too long for the results, but came away with a clean bill of health. The reason this is on My mind is because I was called just last week for the reminder that six months has past, and it's time to have the procedure done again. Yes, I have every intention of having the full panel repeated as well, even though I haven't had any additional partners. Why? Because this little <cough> scare was enough to show Me how important regular testing is.

AquaticSub -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 10:35:16 AM)
Well Silk, you are crazy. [;)] But I don't blame you for disliking condoms. I can't stand them either and I have no clue why. I got Val and I tested just a few months in because I couldn't take them anymore.

IvyMorgan -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 11:07:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Briena quote: ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan quote: Actually if you pop positive on one form of HPV, the shot will still protect you against the rest that you have not had. As long as it's either type 16 or 18. Cos those are the two strains the vaccine is effective against. Actually it protects against four types of HPV... "A vaccine can now protect females from the four types of HPV that cause most cervical cancers and genital warts." Which vaccine? There are two. Gardasil (the US one, of the politically dodgy FDA approval record) and Cervarix (the UK one, which protects against 16 and 18 only) I'm guessing you mean Gardasil.

IvyMorgan -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 11:13:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact My last tests were almost six months ago. I'm usually really bad about dates, but I'm very familiar with the time frame on this one. I've posted this before, but here's a quick recap. Before My husband was going to be deployed to Korea, he wanted Me to have a physical, just to reassure him that My health was good. No, I'm not the best person on the planet about getting that yearly check up. I agreed to do it for his peace of mind. I went in, had the physical with a pap and had the panel run. I wasn't really concerned about it because My husband is military and tested regularly due to being in the service. There was no way for Me to have something he didn't have, so I didn't think a thing about it. That was right up until some days went by and some twit called Me on the phone to schedule a colposcopy because they thought I had cervical cancer. Long story short, I had the procedure, waited for what I thought was entirely too long for the results, but came away with a clean bill of health. The reason this is on My mind is because I was called just last week for the reminder that six months has past, and it's time to have the procedure done again. Yes, I have every intention of having the full panel repeated as well, even though I haven't had any additional partners. Why? Because this little <cough> scare was enough to show Me how important regular testing is. This is the exact story that happened to me. Though I was still (debatably) a virgin when I was tested.

Briena -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 11:53:39 AM)
Yes I was speaking about gardasil. I am in the US so thats what we have here. I really dont think its that sketchy. The FDA is very strict. My sister used to have to deal with them while working on other peoples patents for skin care products. The facts that I posted came straight from the CDCs website about gardasil. I think it is better for girls to get the vaccine and not have to worry about catching and passing along those types of HPV. Thats just my opinion though.

CelticPrince -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 12:19:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee quote: yes i understand that for those that use sleeves it is not a issue, however for those that go "natual" it is an inportant issue as someone can be a carrier and not even be aware of it. Any commnets? CPl CP~ i have a question. Are you stating here that you prefer not to wear condoms? Or was there something in her side of the conversation that indicated that she would prefer to fuck bareback? persephonee, Let me put it this way, I have never used a condom! CP You're the kind of person I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Ever. Not using a condom is nothing to be proud of. I'd hate to think how many little princes are running around the world as a result of this decision too. Shudder. Aileen, No worries girl, it could never come to pass with you! I note no implication of pride but of fact re my going natural all my life. There are many alternative to prevent many little princes from running around the earth, but in favor of time limitations I will leave it at that. If however you feel you might benefit from such a discussion and I will take to time to enlighten you. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 12:23:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia I asked this question on here a few months ago, and I received some very interesting responses. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1885935/tm.htm MzMia, I missed that thread and I think I was in the EU at the time, but there are substancial numbers of new folks since together with those that missed it makes it a good thread for folks to ponder. CP CP, I totally agree with you. I would enjoy seeing this topic brought up more often. There are so many topics that people bring up weekly, but we rarely see this one! Why?[;)] MsMia, Methinks it is an consideration that people like to put their heads in the sand about, sorta like that big ugly bird whose name I forgot how to spell. CP

BKSir -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 12:29:24 PM)
Standard rule of mine. If I'm going to be in a physical relationship with anyone, we ALL go get tested, even though I know for a fact that I'm clean. No matter what the test results are, we still practice safer sex for 6 months. THEN we all get tested again, if they still come back clean, we renegotiate the use of condoms, unless there have been other partners aside from those in the household, then, there is no negotiations, the rubber stays. After that, everyone gets tested every 6 months anyway, it's just good, common sense. And really, it's a whole what, 45 minutes out of my day, twice a year. I think pretty much anyone can spare an hour and a half a year.

CelticPrince -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 12:33:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee quote: yes i understand that for those that use sleeves it is not a issue, however for those that go "natual" it is an inportant issue as someone can be a carrier and not even be aware of it. Any commnets? CPl CP~ i have a question. Are you stating here that you prefer not to wear condoms? Or was there something in her side of the conversation that indicated that she would prefer to fuck bareback? persephonee, Let me put it this way, I have never used a condom! CP i was looking for just that clarification. i am of the age that i can recall the time before AIDS but was not sexually active before AIDS. So i was really indoctrinated in the seamless use of condoms. i can say that i have never had sex with a man without a condom. (No fair counting the 15 years of staunch lesbianism) i dont use barriers for oral on either side of the chromosome. Its a risk that i take and it costs me in interactions sometimes, depending on my partners wishes. i would never take offense at being asked for my medical clearances and i have had partners use barriers with me....no worries...whatever makes you comfortable enough to continue, i can get behind that. As for taking offense at being asked...i honestly dont see how a person can take offense if both parties are using protection. i would be offended if you asked me for clearances and had none of your own to give and then expected sex without protection. Of course, that wouldnt happen. perse, Grins, On the first hand I am very stingent on the health issue both for myself and any potential partner. Seems that my being bare has caused some rancor with a couple of gals, one<Aileen I am not surprised at but the oother is a surprise. I will just say that my partners are always fully comfortable with me once they understand that they themselves are a part of a select few and I take extra measures to keep us both informed. I had my report with me on that lunch date! CP

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Proof Of Health (9/4/2008 12:42:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Briena The FDA is very strict. Hon, I can tell you, from being IN this right now and dealing with the FDA on a regular basis that the FDA has a buttload of paperwork, misses a lot in the testing, etc., that is done and validating that testing for honesty as well as accuracy. The FDA depends on the drug companies and their research centers to -do- the testing, and send in accurate representations of the results of that testing. If a drug company says the they've tested and provides the proper numbers in the proper boxes, and has enough political pressure behind the drug to get it through, it will go. As a -very- good example of this, take a look at the experiences with (1) Celebrex, which has a confirmed connection to deadly heart disease and is -still- on the market and being aggressively marketed and (2)ezetimibe, one of the two ingredients in Vytorin -- taken off the market after it was proven that it didn't work and did increase the risk of death in patients and (3)statins, which have been shown to cause myopathy (muscle failure) in some patients, have NOT shown any improvement in the risk of developing a heart attack, and are still being aggressively marketed (even to individuals like myself who -have- muscle-wasting illnesses and in whom the sympoms of statin-induced myopathy could go un-recognized until the heart muscle was so degraded that it could no longer function... ie., until it killed the person). Like any other government agency, the FDA has its limitations, and because of that, it does not make any sense to place absolute trust in the agency. CFB

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