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RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/3/2008 10:53:58 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: silkenfire

However, I'm just trying to figure out what really is sensible. What most people think so I can approach it better in my relationship. Sorry for it being an odd question and not being specific enough...  

What's "sensible" is that everyone is different and what "most people think" probably won't have a lot of meaning for your specific intimate relationships.
 
Me, I've never gotten a lot out of "vanilla" oral sex but oral *service*, specifically as an act of domination, is a whole other animal...!  Since this is about ME doing her, she doesn't actually require alleged oral "skills" beyond doing as she's told.
 
I think the skill that needs the most polish for you is the art of communicating with your partners.  You may be better served asking permission to talk as equal, mature adults.  It's something I like to do a lot of and it's merely a matter of setting different headspace between woman and property.  If you can't even have that with your dom, I'd suggest moving on - it ain't gonna last anyway.
 
Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to silkenfire)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/3/2008 11:02:41 PM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		It depends if you have a agreed upon protocol ahead of time on how and when. Some slaves may find it tacky. Some may not.

_____________________________

www.starhillcreations.com

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/4/2008 12:03:12 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		As most people have said...why can't we have both?

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/4/2008 12:09:10 AM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		Both, but I am not one that likes to hear begging.  Nothing worse than listening to a submissive beg for sex, even if they do want to give it.   I would think asking once & accepting a yes or no from me should be sufficient.  Of course, if I want it, I would expect no hesitation.  

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/4/2008 2:28:44 AM   
LarabysLair


Posts: 156
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline 		I love to hear my girl beg to serve me sexually. Why would I ever want to silence her. :-)

L L
owner of the Lair
(edited to fix the missing r)

< Message edited by LarabysLair -- 9/4/2008 2:29:43 AM >

(in reply to MissIsis)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/4/2008 4:29:50 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		LarabysLair why would you want to silence a woman??? Your kidding right?

(in reply to LarabysLair)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/4/2008 11:03:23 AM   
skeletoncrew


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

As most people have said...why can't we have both?


there is a mental/emotional/communication block for the OP that makes it hard or difficult to iniate from what i got out of it...

personally, i like the two "extremes", sometimes i want my sub to just do what she is told...she likes to give oral, so "suck my cock" is usually enough to get things going and i can decide from there if she is going to mouth fuck me or i will skull fuck her or whatever combination of the two that happens....

but, sometimes it is nice to be a little less active and directing things and have her iniate and even "take control" a little bit...i'm even working on a scene from a thread i saw once(can't remember if it was here or somewhere else) to "test" her ability to please where i will be sensory deprived(eyes, ears, and mouth) and see how well she can please entirely by touch without rigid guidance...what happens if i end up like the guy in Johnny Get Your Gun(or the Metallica One video) and i can't hear, see, or speak???

but, in the end for you and your situation/relationship it is like everybody else has said, communicate as much and as clearly as you can and things should work out...

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/4/2008 11:42:55 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

LarabysLair why would you want to silence a woman??? Your kidding right?


duct tape..........gotta love that stuff


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/15/2008 7:13:49 PM   
CoffinDancer


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/24/2004
Status: offline 		Both. I agree, her begging for oral is nice. 

(in reply to silkenfire)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/15/2008 10:58:23 PM   
badlilthang


Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: silkenfire

One of the major dilemmas that I see is:
Would you rather your sub asked you if they may go down on you, because it shows their desire in pleasing you

or

Would you rather being able to order your sub around to do it whenever you wished to receive?

Do you think there is a downside to either (and I do say "sub" not "slave" as I realize that a slave may hve different connotations)  

Looks like I'm a little different to most here....
 
The way I rationalise things, keeping my dick "happy" is one of my girl's main responsibilities so I first teach her the five instances or circumstances when she's NOT permitted to touch with her hands.  Once she knows them, she alone may go where I won't allow *anyone* else....


Focus.

**ok - i'll bite ( no pun intende..well..almost none....)...what are those 5 five instances or circumstances?**

_____________________________

.Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower leaves in the air after being crushed underfoot.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 1:27:27 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: silkenfire

.


This is sort of where I was trying to go with the post. I'm coming out of relationships where my skills were not appreciated, orally. And yet oral fills a very specific niche to me, and is something that I have worked very hard to perfect (always is however an ongoing learning experience).

To be honest, I'm so scared of rejection that for the most part I have dated only those that pursued or showed interest in me. Too scared of rejection to even show interest. So, too scared of rejection to ask for things in the relationship most of the time and that's also a large part of my psyche and something that no one else can really advise on... so that might be part of what started this.

However, I'm just trying to figure out what really is sensible. What most people think so I can approach it better in my relationship. Sorry for it being an odd question and not being specific enough...  






Well maybe you suck at giving blow jobs???  course I maintain there is no such thing as a bad blow job ...some are just better than others.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 9/16/2008 1:28:29 AM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to silkenfire)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 1:29:39 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

LarabysLair why would you want to silence a woman??? Your kidding right?



What he said!!

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 2:33:40 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Really you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. IKrrespective weather the submissive is a sub or slave, it largely depends on the individual dynamic. Personally, both work for me as long as the slave asks first and doesn't take it foir granted that my meat is available for taking when ever they wish.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to silkenfire)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 2:25:41 PM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Sir and I have it both ways...He orders me to give him oral sex at times, but more often than not, I ask if I may please Him with it. It's one of my favorite activities in the world and we both love my enthusiasm. 

_____________________________

9.8m/s^2 + VivaciousSub + ground = ouchx10^9th

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to silkenfire)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 2:40:52 PM   
Cuffkinks


Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline 		I'm with the majority here...Both. My little girl may ask if I desire My cock serviced. She may ask if I wish to use My slut. She may even beg for the privilege of serving Me. (Begging is hot.) Or, I will decide I want My cock serviced, grab her and use her mouth as I see fit, whether she wants to or not. She is not however, allowed to just take it upon herself to suck My cock. She is not even permitted to touch My cock with out permission.

_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 2:57:51 PM   
SirKaton


Posts: 104
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Why "either/or" when it can be "both/and"? Each option has its place and time and depend on my mood and what it is I might want to accomplish with my subs.

_____________________________

....before me there was none; after me there shall be no more...

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 3:14:35 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		ah, new relationships... can be the pits!!

~laughs~

seriously, you are just getting to know one another, just learning what trips your partners triggers.

someone mentioned an email about how it makes you feel to be rejected... and i believe thats a great idea.  it allows you both time to think about what is being said, how it is being said, and how it makes that person feel once its read.  new relationships arent always the best at communication

a few other suggestions... text messages while apart... they can help "set the scene".. teasing, flirting that way can really get the juices going for when you are both home

another suggestion... ask... just once... then, if you are told no, simply say... i understand, will you let me know when you are in the mood?  toss in something extremely complimentary like... because i adore how you taste and i miss tasting you... then let it drop

Men arent that much different than women... moody at times, as we are... they dont always feel sexual.. stress at work and at home can sap the desire from them as well as it does from us

so, if he says no occassionally, try not to take it too personally, let him know the interest is definitely there, then allow him to be the dominant and step forward for when he wants it

and, yes, that works for submissives as well as slaves

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to SirKaton)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 3:16:44 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Im surprised this even came back up. It was a very very new relationship issue which I believe they are both well past.

New relationships are so difficult sometimes, though, arent they?


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 4:21:48 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Except in circumstances where something is seriously wrong, I do not discourage displays of deep affection, particularly sexually. I expect/prefer a sub to feel aroused and excited by being around me or thinking about things...so I leave the freedom to 'surprise' me freely available.

If I'm feeling a tad 'evil' at a certain moment, I may hold them off just long enough to get them to beg and whimper...and if something is actually wrong (physical pain, internal stress) I'd gently communicate that, so as not to leave a feeling of the attempt having been unwelcome.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Masters Receiving Oral - question - 9/16/2008 7:58:28 PM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: silkenfire

One of the major dilemmas that I see is:
Would you rather your sub asked you if they may go down on you, because it shows their desire in pleasing you

or

Would you rather being able to order your sub around to do it whenever you wished to receive?

Do you think there is a downside to either (and I do say "sub" not "slave" as I realize that a slave may hve different connotations)  

-silk


All of the above?
Plus random, unasked for is good to, ya know, when im just sittin around the house and she sees that I look stressed...
did I mention that I have the best girl ever? cause thats important to note here :D:D:D

_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to silkenfire)
Profile   Post #: 40
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