RE: Talking about kink with open-minded vanillas

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RE: Talking about kink with open-minded vanillas - 1/10/2009 9:39:43 AM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
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What kills me is that for all practical purposes, most of the reactionary types are engaging in non-consensual humiliation, objectification, orgasm denial, male supremacy (or female), etc., often they are essentially trying to top you - I tell them that the difference between kink and vanilla is that kink is consensual.

I think there's too much emphasis on kink, and not enough on consent, which is a lesson a lot of Vanillia's need to learn, it's a huge distinction.

(in reply to T1981)

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RE: Talking about kink with open-minded vanillas - 1/11/2009 4:12:57 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

well one of the intersting things that happened when i randomly mentioned something to what i thought were very open-minded vanilla friends is that i found out they weren't really vanilla. =p
dunno if that counts

(in reply to bipolarber)

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RE: Talking about kink with open-minded vanillas - 1/11/2009 7:06:51 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I was very open about it at work. I thought my colleagues would respect my prefernces and keep it to themselves. Of course they didn't and I got the sack for my profile on this site.
The rumours continued and everyone in my community got to here them including my family.
I've been fighting a male led agressive campaign against me since then.
I was suicidal but now I'm surviving on a day to day basis.
I can't move.
I don't have any supportive friends.
The only person who keeps in touch is an ex sub.

(in reply to RainydayNE)

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RE: Talking about kink with open-minded vanillas - 1/11/2009 7:42:50 AM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
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loyalty of friends is a nice thing not?
for many it is there..aslong as they need you. When it gets tough...they are gone.

(in reply to lateralist1)

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RE: Talking about kink with open-minded vanillas - 1/11/2009 7:54:48 AM

eponastar

Posts: 76
Joined: 11/19/2004
Status: offline

My vanilla friends rock my socks. They all know full well about my, ahem... perversions.... and all of them are intrigued by it and tend to ask decent questions. Several of them have met, or will be meeting my boy and have come to understand and love that this is part of who I am. I only have a few friends and we are all very tight knit. I got lucky enough to be friends with a gentleman who is a former Pro Dom. I can really open up to him and talk about training and other such things. My roommate is even cooler, he lives with me and has been witness to my growth in the lifesyle. He provides encouragement and support when I need it.

Lucky for me... non of my friends think I am f-ing nuts or sick in the head. They accept me and love me for who I am. And that is the greatest gift I could ever have. *corny I know, but true.*

_____________________________

Its not that I hold your leash. Its not that I hold the whip. Its not that I hold the power. Its that you willingly and truly gave it to me.

(in reply to bipolarber)

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RE: Talking about kink with open-minded vanillas - 1/12/2009 1:12:13 AM

MizKris

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline

I've never actually 'outed' myself to my friends, but over the years they've figured it out, more or less. They assumed at Halloween that my riding crop, corset and fishnet tights were all pieces I already owned, so that was that...

For some reason, a reputation for being kinky just seems to follow me around. Within a few weeks at a new job a co-worker of mine admitted she thought I was the kind of person who "would tie a guy up and beat him mercilessly". In those situations, I don't confirm or deny - I just smile. It seems to be working for me so far, at any rate.

(in reply to bipolarber)

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Post #: 66