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No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:11:48 AM

tia111

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

I actually got the idea for this thread from another and did not want to hijack that thread with my own issues nor did i want to be insensitive to the OP. I am hoping others have some suggestions to help me.

I too have noticed that dominant men want to be in control of the female orgasm. The problem is that when i am ready to orgasm, i am unable to stop just because they have told me to. I cum quite easily with internal stimulation and it seems impossible for me to control that if i am denied permission.

How does one shut off that physical aspect? Even when all stimulation has ceased, i still sometimes fail at keeping it in. Sometimes i also have the issue that i don't realize it is happening until it is too late.

I have tried Keegal exercises (forgive me if i spelled that incorrectly please) but to no avail. I liken it to a hose that has been turned on but when you turn it off there is still some water that pours out. I can refrain from having a proper one but am unable to keep it all inside. Then i feel like a failure because i have disobeyed a direct order.

It sounds silly to make it a hard limit but i have gotten to the point where i almost want it to be one because it seems to be impossible for me. Does anyone have any further advice for me? Or should i just give up and make it a hard limit?

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Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford

Post #: 1

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:21:36 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

tia.. personally, I'd make it a hard limit.. I'm like you.. once it starts..it's not gonna stop until I'm done. And if pulled back from the edge, it aint gonna happen at all.

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to tia111)

Post #: 2

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:28:48 AM

tia111

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

Thank you GreedyTop for your reply. I guess everyone needs a limit that others kind of shake their heads at.

_____________________________

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford

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Post #: 3

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:43:49 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I have to agree with Greedy. For me if you do stop it (and that is hard work when you are on that track!), I will not be able to again that night.
And if that is the guys desire, it certainly will be the result. LOL not that it isn't something I have not experienced. I was married.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

tia.. personally, I'd make it a hard limit.. I'm like you.. once it starts..it's not gonna stop until I'm done. And if pulled back from the edge, it aint gonna happen at all.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 4

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:46:41 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

this slave will take a stab at answering because she has been in the uncomfortable position of having to stifle spontaneous orgasms when in inappropriate situations...for a very long time...and has had a little bit of success from time to time. in turn, she believes this has helped her to be able to stop and prolong it until Master says it's ok, which pleases Him greatly.

start thinking about stuff that turns you off. from subtle little nuances to the grossest most vile thing you could think of. and it doesn't have to be sexual either, although that helps.

it has been this slave's experience that while it might not stop it altogether from happening, it can help to prolong it until you can get somewhere where it is appropriate...or until you have permission.

(in reply to tia111)

Post #: 5

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:47:35 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

LOL not that it isn't something I have not experienced. I was married.

*snort*

yeah, me too.....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 6

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:48:55 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*waves at Beth* hi gorgeous!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 7

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:51:23 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tia111

I actually got the idea for this thread from another and did not want to hijack that thread with my own issues nor did i want to be insensitive to the OP. I am hoping others have some suggestions to help me.

I too have noticed that dominant men want to be in control of the female orgasm. The problem is that when i am ready to orgasm, i am unable to stop just because they have told me to. I cum quite easily with internal stimulation and it seems impossible for me to control that if i am denied permission.

How does one shut off that physical aspect? Even when all stimulation has ceased, i still sometimes fail at keeping it in. Sometimes i also have the issue that i don't realize it is happening until it is too late.

I have tried Keegal exercises (forgive me if i spelled that incorrectly please) but to no avail. I liken it to a hose that has been turned on but when you turn it off there is still some water that pours out. I can refrain from having a proper one but am unable to keep it all inside. Then i feel like a failure because i have disobeyed a direct order.

It sounds silly to make it a hard limit but i have gotten to the point where i almost want it to be one because it seems to be impossible for me. Does anyone have any further advice for me? Or should i just give up and make it a hard limit?

tia,

you have heard wise counsel from sisters, noow drom a "D". Time to have a candid convo with any future "D" about his role. Explain the mental properties that occur with him and simply state that you seek One that would enjoy his power by getting you to that point in the first place. If he cannot focus on that, move on.

CP

(in reply to tia111)

Post #: 8

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:52:57 AM

hopelessfool

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I agree with beth, but be careful, sometimes that "nasty gross icky thing" like rentals having sex, when your at a really far gone point just start to sound...

Anywho...

Also try localized pain have him bite say your shoulder or other ouchy non eroganous zone.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 9

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:57:23 AM

tia111

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I have to agree with Greedy. For me if you do stop it (and that is hard work when you are on that track!), I will not be able to again that night.
And if that is the guys desire, it certainly will be the result. LOL not that it isn't something I have not experienced. I was married.
Kyst

Thank you Kyst i do not have a problem getting there again as such but it is good to know that others have this stopping issue as well.

quote:

this slave will take a stab at answering because she has been in the uncomfortable position of having to stifle spontaneous orgasms when in inappropriate situations...for a very long time...and has had a little bit of success from time to time. in turn, she believes this has helped her to be able to stop and prolong it until Master says it's ok, which pleases Him greatly.

start thinking about stuff that turns you off. from subtle little nuances to the grossest most vile thing you could think of. and it doesn't have to be sexual either, although that helps.

it has been this slave's experience that while it might not stop it altogether from happening, it can help to prolong it until you can get somewhere where it is appropriate...or until you have permission.

Thank you beth i have not tried thinking about gross things before. All i think is about the panic of trying to stop. I will try that. Ultimately, that is why i want to be able to control it, because it will please some. It seems any that i have been with it is just expected that i can control it and that i am just being defiant and greedy if i fail.

_____________________________

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 10

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 9:59:20 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

hell...if i could ever orgasm again...i sure as hell would NOT HOLD IT IN!!!!!
many many years without one.....there is no way its staying in!!!

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(in reply to tia111)

Post #: 11

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:01:09 AM

tia111

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

tia,

you have heard wise counsel from sisters, noow drom a "D". Time to have a candid convo with any future "D" about his role. Explain the mental properties that occur with him and simply state that you seek One that would enjoy his power by getting you to that point in the first place. If he cannot focus on that, move on.

CP

thank you CP i never had this problem in vanilla relationships as most men were just happy to have "gotten me there" and yet i have noticed that dominant men want that control. It is nice to think that there are others who do not have this need though. It is okay as i am not in a hurry to find "the one" i was just hoping that others had some suggestions for me.

_____________________________

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 12

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:03:44 AM

tia111

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

lol that would likely be me.
hmmm i also had not thought of the pain aspect because i am not a masochist though perhaps a little might help. Thank you for the suggestion.

_____________________________

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 13

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:04:47 AM

tia111

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

lol thank you for the giggle faerytattoodgirl thank you for reminding me that this is supposed to be fun

_____________________________

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford

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Post #: 14

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:19:36 AM

Gleegal67

Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline

Orgasm control and denial...yeah...that is very, very popular amongst Dominants...based on my extensive research!

I've become pretty darn good at stopping an orgasm when I have not been allowed...by breathing really deeply...focusing my breath going thru a super tiny straw is the best visual explanation I can give you. Granted, this technique is completely out the window if I'm gagged, I've tried controlling by breathing deeply thru my nose...it hasn't work...yet!

Plus, having a little mantra constantly repeated within my mind...sometimes it's out loud and I don't even realize it...all to the enjoyment to my Dominant at that moment..."Don't cum! Don't cum! Don't cum!" I'm usually given permission by this moment, because He is laughing at my predicament, working so hard trying not to cum.

Even if I lose control, I'm kinda forgiven and the punishment isn't so harsh...because He is usually still laughing.

Orgasm control and denial...great fun...its always a win/win situation...at least in my hilarious book!

p.s. Once I hear His deep voice say "Cum...Now!" I'm a goner...oh how I love that exquisite moment in time...sighhhhhhh

< Message edited by Gleegal67 -- 9/11/2008 10:21:02 AM >

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Post #: 15

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:22:07 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Thank you beth i have not tried thinking about gross things before. All i think is about the panic of trying to stop. I will try that. Ultimately, that is why i want to be able to control it, because it will please some. It seems any that i have been with it is just expected that i can control it and that i am just being defiant and greedy if i fail.

you are most welcome. it is also very important to have a some communication going as to your own personal individual patterns for orgasms and allowing time for you to train to His ways. all women are not the same, and do not respond to the same stimuli. cumming and getting there has never been a rare occurance or difficult experience for this slave...quite the opposite.

this slave had to train herself not to cum "inappropriately" due to spontaneous orgasm/easy arousal issues she has had for quite some time. unlike premature ejaculation, it isn't something that many women present with as a problem. but it can be, if you like to be in control of where and when and who's there when you cum.

sometimes, there IS no stopping it, and it could be in the middle of the most inappropriate situation you have ever been in. that's when this slave came up with the idea of thinking about stuff that turned her off. it couldn't be any worse than actually HAVING the orgasm in the middle of an inappropriate situation where everyone else is unaware of what the hell is going on with you. making sense of that one later is a reeeeal mind bender.

it is something this slave spoke with Master about from the beginning...with trepidation. not because He was such a scary guy to talk to, au contraire, it's just that any effort to talk about it with previous partners was met with all sorts of drama/denial/bullshit...it was a big risk to be that naked. like the ones who claim you are greedy and selfish, this slave was called that as well as nymphomaniac, incapable of fidelity, all manner of nastiness.

best of wishes that you can confide in your partner your concerns and fears and that they will work with you so that you both can find pleasure in your intimate moments!!!

quote:

*waves at Beth* hi gorgeous! ...orig:GreedyTop

waves back...howdy

!

(in reply to tia111)

Post #: 16

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:27:24 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

This is something I do not understand as having to need to set a "hard limit" to. It's something that an attentive Dom (I should think) would assess after communication about the issue. A lot of physical training involves pushing the thresholds of the body's ability to do X. Some people may be more capable of controlling one aspect and not another...that's fine.

I don't see why it would become an issue of forceful disappointment or punishment to a Dom who has understood where the sub is in her abilities to control it. Expecting/demanding a sub to run a 100m race in under 10 seconds does not logically justify a negative reaction when the sub cannot extend the capabilities of her own body.

Ideally, I would think it to be something that can be played with...something to explore lightheartedly on both sides. This is why the idea of needing to make it a hard limit would discomfort me...it would seem to suggest that there was a mistrust in the Dom's ability to adequately understand the sub's capabilities. Lack of effort, lack of desire, lack of interest and lack of appropriate yielding/submission are the sorts of things to be addressed during punishment...not the lack of the sub's ability to violate the laws of biology and physics.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 9/11/2008 10:32:07 AM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to tia111)

Post #: 17

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:34:00 AM

GabrielleSlave

Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gleegal67

Orgasm control and denial...yeah...that is very, very popular amongst Dominants...based on my extensive research!

I've become pretty darn good at stopping an orgasm when I have not been allowed...by breathing really deeply...focusing my breath going thru a super tiny straw is the best visual explanation I can give you. Granted, this technique is completely out the window if I'm gagged, I've tried controlling by breathing deeply thru my nose...it hasn't work...yet!

Plus, having a little mantra constantly repeated within my mind...sometimes it's out loud and I don't even realize it...all to the enjoyment to my Dominant at that moment..."Don't cum! Don't cum! Don't cum!" I'm usually given permission by this moment, because He is laughing at my predicament, working so hard trying not to cum.

Even if I lose control, I'm kinda forgiven and the punishment isn't so harsh...because He is usually still laughing.

Orgasm control and denial...great fun...its always a win/win situation...at least in my hilarious book!

p.s. Once I hear His deep voice say "Cum...Now!" I'm a goner...oh how I love that exquisite moment in time...sighhhhhhh

Oh my God this is exactly the same as for myself and Master! Had to double check that i had not posted this and forgotten lol! Good to know that i am not alone in the "Don't cum! Don't cum!" mantra! and yes....... *goes misty eyed..* i know that Cum...Now! moment well too.........

Hugs

Gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to Gleegal67)

Post #: 18

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:38:04 AM

tia111

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

yes i have also tried the matra and the breathing though that seems to not be effective for me. Thank you for sharing your ideas though

_____________________________

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford

(in reply to Gleegal67)

Post #: 19

RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:40:28 AM

zakkan

Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline

Has anyone ever passed out when you finally get the release? In my own(individual

) experiments I almost fell over when I allowed myself to go...

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Silence! I keel you!

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Post #: 20

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