Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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Its been interesting to me to read the various comments and discussions in this thread. The original poster spoke of a very Zen like experience of feeling centered and balanced, which can be a powerful personal experience. There is also something to be said, particularly for dominants, in remaining centered enough that they no longer react to what happens around them, but instead act of their own choosing.
In many cases the words power, authority and control are synonymous and used interchangeably to describe the influence one person exerts over another. I think it would be useful to keep in mind that arguing over symantics is not generally helpful when trying to understand that influence.
Often the concept of power is tied to self worth because we (as a society) associate having power with personal worth, which means conversely we assume if a person is powerless they must be worthless (literally worth less than someone who has power). If we divorce ourselves of that notion, then we can assign personal worth and self worth without relating it to personal power. That is, a submissive can be powerless in a relationship and still have value. We can do this by assigning value based on something else... usefulness. That is, a submissive may have no power (control) in a relationship, but if they are useful they still have worth. I think that sets up a much healthier dynamic and better suited to a D/s relationship (since usefulness leads to service, something generally part of D/s relationships in some form).
Something that has helped me understand the kinds of influence/control/authority/power/leadership one can exert comes from John Maxwell's "Developing the Leader Within You," in which he describes five levels of leadership. They are, in ascending order:
Positional Authority - People follow because they have to.
Leadership by Permission - People follow because they want to.
Leadership by Production - People follow because of what you have or can achieve
People Development - People follow because of what you have done for them
Personhood - People follow because of who you are and what you represent
There are many dominants in this lifestyle, particularly those who are new, who have only Positional Authority. They latch on to the title of Master and expect people to obey them simply because they are now a "master", they expect the rank or title to give them authority. Arguments over how much a dominant should be obeyed at a public gathering (or even if they should be at all), are often really arguments about positional authority and whether others recognize it at all. The reality is positional authority is the weakest form of authority and without a group to back it up, it doesn't exist. If you are not a member of a club or munch group which insists on dominats be treated with a certain degree of deference then calling yourself a Master does not bring with it any positional authority outside of any personal relationship you establish with individuals.
Leadership by Permission is probably one of the most common forms of dominance in this lifestyle. This is where submission exists as a gift, and where dominance is entirely by agreement. Contractual agreements epitomize this level of dominance. The submissive follows because they want to, and only for as long as they want to. A dominant at this level rules only by permission of those ruled, think constitutional monarchy. D/s relationships at this level focus on the personal relationships, attention to personal needs, wants and desires. None-the-less its an important level to achieve precisely because it does focus on personal relationships. You cannot lead anyone for long if you cannot establish a personal relationship with them.
Leadership by Production is one most men relate to the best, its about getting things done. At this level a dominant's influence comes from their achievements, what they have done, are doing and are going to do. That might be being adept at particular styles of fetish play, being an articulate and knowledgeable teacher regarding they dynamics of the lifestyle, having written books on the lifestyle, given demonstrations at events, etc... but ultimately its the accomplishments of the dominant that draws submissives to follow. A dominant might try to skip the second level and go straight to this level, but that won't work over the long term. Without the personal relationships developed at the second level (Permission), the dominant's influence will only last as long as they can continue to lead the submissive towards new achievements. Simply put, the submissive follows because of what the dominant can do.
People Development is the fourth level and about as high as most of us will ever get. At this level the dominants influence comes from developing the submissive's potential. That is, the submissive follows because the dominant helps them to be more than they could be on their own. At this level dominance starts becoming about inspiration, inspiring a submissive to be their best, to try their best. Not just their best as a submissive, but their personal best as a person.
Personhood... every dominant wants to claim to be at this level, few of us get there. At this level people follow you because of who you are, because who you are inspires them even if you aren't actively trying to help them grow. Your character, your personal achievements, how you relate to others, all the qualities developed at the previous levels come together to make you a person who inspires others to follow.
Its interesting to note how things shift the higher you go. At the basic level a dominant's authority comes from others, a group. Above that it comes from the individual submissive (permission). But when a dominant grows beyond that it (influence, dominance, authority, power, etc.) truly begins to flow from within, because it becomes based on the nature of the individual dominant, first on achievements and later on how they affect others. Can a submissive still choose not to follow in these later cases? Sure, but not without giving up something that is either not easily replaced or is irreplaceable because it was unique to that dominant. At this point the submissive cannot walk away without losing something themselves.
Something else I've noticed. When I see others wanting their "power" or "authority" recognized by others, I often find the case to be that person is actually seeking positional authority... they are looking for or trying to create a group to give them that positional authority by "recognizing" them. The higher you go in the above hierarchy of influence, the less you see that sort of seeking. At Personhood just the opposite occurs, they no longer seek recognition, rather recognition seeks them.
A third thing I've noticed is that at the beginning of that heirarchy of influence is where "Master" is most likely to be viewed as a title or rank... but as one ascends through the various levels it tends to transition into a state of being. I think that indicates an important shift if perspective.
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Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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RE: Power - 
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and I'll get back to you on this thread in the next day and hoefully I'll find my time conversion chart then we can plan a good YM session with whoever. 
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