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Is it cheating - 9/13/2008 10:31:36 PM   
badboyinneed


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/19/2007
Status: offline 		is it cheating to have a Pro Mistress if You are married and Your wife has no intrest in the lifestyle
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RE: Is it cheating - 9/13/2008 10:40:36 PM   
JewAndCelt


Posts: 110
Joined: 8/23/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline 		ummm I don't know. Maybe you should ask your wife if it's cheating :)

Unless, of course, she finds a receipt or bank statement first.

In that case, she'll likely let you know one way or the other.

_her

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/13/2008 11:16:16 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It's cheating if she knows nothing about it and if she disapproves

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/13/2008 11:17:58 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		not many wives  have an interest in " the Pro Mistress Lifestyle " . Ask her for the money and see maybe she will be cool with it .

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/13/2008 11:18:28 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with JewAndCelt.

The only one who can truely answer your question is your wife. There are many here who have a Vanilla as their primary partner and have someone kinky on the side. No cheating is going on because the vanilla partner is completly aware of what is going on.

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/13/2008 11:19:03 PM   
subbysubsubsub


Posts: 41
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline 		The definition of cheating varies from couple to couple.  Rather than asking here, talk to your wife about it.  

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/13/2008 11:26:13 PM   
IdiotMale


Posts: 132
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Yea tell him to talk to his wife about it and hope she doesn't divorce him. I suggest you let your wife know what you are into before you tell her anything of your playing with a Mistress.

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/13/2008 11:29:36 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		if your wife does not know of the relatioinship, yes it is cheating. If your wife knows and is against it and you still continue, you are cheating. If your wife knows and is either ok with it or has stated that she doesn't want to know then you are not cheating. However, I immagine that you are at least a moderately inteligent person, I wonder why you feel the need to ask an obvious question when certainly here as many people will enjoy pointing yoiu in the wrong direction. Don't you have the intelligence and balls to find your own answer to an obvious and basic question?

IB
(The incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent Bear)

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/13/2008 11:30:29 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		(Soon to be follow up question:)

"Should she forgive me because I had neither the forethought or respect for our relationship to include her in my decision beforehand?"


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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 12:00:15 AM   
Shylahgirl


Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: badboyinneed

is it cheating to have a Pro Mistress if You are married and Your wife has no intrest in the lifestyle


It's cheating if you are hiding the fact that you are employing a mistress from you wife. It's also cheating if all involved aren't comfortable with the extended relationship.

Be honest and open to avoid cheating.

Shylah


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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 12:00:16 AM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
..."Should she forgive me because I had neither the forethought or respect for our relationship to include her in my decision beforehand?"


Exactly what I was thinking...


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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 6:28:34 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Even if you are doing nothing sexual with the Mistress, you are still handing over an intimacy that your wife may feel belongs only to her.  Turn the tables - how would you feel if she did something similar and left you out of it.  Would you feel that she cheated on you?

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 6:30:41 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		OP, if you have to ask, you know the answer.  going behind someones back isn't right...it happens to be the person you are married to and made vows with.  i really can't believe that you question this...you know the answer.  be a man dude.

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 7:08:27 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		flipflop    if you say something stand by it when you did your vows whcih i beleave vows are just that

not to up for redesign  other wise they have no meaning thats a big problem with bdsm and nilla

a car with out breaks surely will slam into a wall

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 7:22:33 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: badboyinneed

is it cheating to have a Pro Mistress if You are married and Your wife has no intrest in the lifestyle


Depends on the vows you took, the expectations of your marriage and the laws of your region -- of course, given that in some states any sex not between married adults for reproductive purposes isn't legal, many sexual things we do are illegal.

Therefore, I consider the first two points to be most valuable.

If you took vows to be monogamous I think must be monogamous or you nullifying your marriage in the eyes of whomever witnessed your vows. They may be some rituals and ceremonies you can preform to undo and redo those vows but in my opinion they stand as taken.

Expectations are the next level at which you have to consider whether or not you are cheating. Regardless of vows are there expectations of monogamy? My guess is that if you feel you have to hide it from your spouse, you know she has the expectation that you are only doing intimate things with her. This is where you have to have a series of discussions about your expectations.

Now I'm going to sound like a total bitch when I say this: How can people get married and not know about their sexual interests and needs? If you aren't that self-aware, can you be self-aware enough to get married?

I come from a very dysfunctional family-of-origin with high levels of sexual and psychological abuse for generations and I was still able to figure myself out long before I got married and make sure I only took vows I could live with for a lifetime and that we discussed and continue to discuss expectations. I have a great deal of difficulty understanding how others cannot be that self-aware before marriage. I am not that special or unique, I just can't grok that I am.

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 7:25:26 AM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		I think all of these "Is it cheating if ________?" threads have the same answer.

If you feel the need to ask this question, you already know the answer.  You're just hoping a bunch of faceless strangers will say "No way dude!  It's not cheating!  You rock!"

Tasha


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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 7:25:44 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, it was cheating when it was a Mistress and seeing a Pro is still cheating.

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 7:56:45 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: badboyinneed

is it cheating to have a Pro Mistress if You are married and Your wife has no intrest in the lifestyle


I'd say it depends on 2 things-how intimate you are with the Domme and whether your wife feels cheated on, simple as that really. For Me, anyway, O/others will have a different view.......

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 8:00:56 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: badboyinneed

is it cheating to have a Pro Mistress if You are married and Your wife has no intrest in the lifestyle


The ony thing I would be pissed about is the money my hubby would be paying her that would be better spent on the family and household.  Other than that, do what ye will.

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RE: Is it cheating - 9/14/2008 8:01:07 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Lets all picture this scenario............ "Honey, I only paid her to fuck me up the ass. it didn't MEAN anything"

Think she'll go  for that?.... would you?

Jeff




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Profile   Post #: 20
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