RE: In need of some input....(i.e. Help!)

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RE: In need of some input....(i.e. Help!) - 9/24/2008 8:22:43 AM

scarlethiney

Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dementdsuby

I am in a quandry, so I am coming to the experts for some help/advice. So, here is my issue.....I have been in a LTR with a gentleman I met here on collarme for the last 2 years. Out agreement for these last 2 years is pretty straight-forward. I belong to him, I don't talk to other Dom's without permission, no screwing around, etc etc. So, in these 2 years I have asked, respectfully, for an actual sign of his ownership (a collar) perhaps 6 times. It's important to me. Then we discussed getting me pierced, a year later we finally did after I bought everything on my own. 2 months ago I told him I would really appreciate it if he could adjust his profile to mention that he owned a sub, since we have been together for so long. It still remains unchanged. Am I being too touchy on these issues? Or am I fooling myself by making excuses for him, and keeping the relationship going?
Any advice would be appreciated. And this is not my normal profile....so please be as honest about this as you want.
Thank you! (Hope I didn't come across as whiny.)

You've received some excellent advice here. Bottom line is "your" obviously not happy with the relationship as it stands. You have several options:
1) Let your Master know how you feel and see if he is concerned enough to work on changing things so you feel and get more of what you need...... i.e. commitment either verbal or written (hopefully heartfelt)
2) Walk away.
3) Accept the situation the way it is and change yourself.

Decide exactly what would make you happy. If he isn't capable of giving you what you need or is unwilling, then it's time to move on and in doing so you will learn to be more clear the next time about what you do and don't want in a relationship.
I wish you well.

scarlet

_____________________________

"The words 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you." - A.L. Kitselman.

see my profile masterkspet

(in reply to dementdsuby)

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RE: In need of some input....(i.e. Help!) - 9/26/2008 4:14:34 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Sometimes reading between the lines is filling it in with data that doesnt fit.

Weeeell, only if you're into consciously deluding yourself, or others.... lol

If you don't believe in reading between the lines, then you give no credence to "instinct" or "gut feeling", either? How 'bout when people lie by omission - I mean, if you rely solely on what's actually presented....

And you've never felt someone is overtly lying or trying to deceive you - not even once? And if you did, how did you "know" something wasn't right? One thing I've learnt from life experience is that, even when an explanation "seems" unlikely or "out there", the truth has a mighty consistent habit of sounding a whole lot like the truth. But when that explanation feels like hokum, what you're doing is *reading between the lines*, no?

I'd defy anyone to make everyday judgement calls without a level of "reading between the lines". You almost never have all the available information! And it's absurdly naive to advocate a public community Forum should be held to such an impossibly high standard.

People come here and ask advice; ask for an *opinion* - and that's all you can give. If you're gonna confine yourself specifically to the (usually limited) given information, then you may as well copy/paste "it depends" every single reply.... Or you can go the extra mile with what you *think* (reading between the lines et al) and let the OP decide what's relevant and what to ignore.

A court of law found OJ Simpson innoc.... errr..., not guilty. I imagine everyone who thinks that verdict was a travesty must've been direct eyewitness to what actually unfolded. That, or....?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Missokyst)

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Post #: 82