RE: You Call Yourself a What?

RE: You Call Yourself a What? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

NihilusZero -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/27/2008 11:39:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz Pointing and grunting can be a little vague at times. But potentially hot, under the right circumstances. Neanderthal Play! Haven't you seen the Geico commercials? It's all the craze right now.

SlyStone -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/27/2008 12:52:21 PM)
quote: OP, if I've misinterpreted your post then my apologies, but to me the post sounds like you are equating uncertainty and confusion with being dishonest about what someone really wants. I guess I would have to disagree with your point of bullshitters being few and far between, but I applaud your optimism and respect it as well. As far as being dishonest, I was talking about being honest to ones self but if you took offense I apologize and I certainly don't mean to be judgmental. I hate judgmental. I am just trying to sort something out that I was thinking about and looking for others viewpoints, so thanks for yours and others who have posted. I think in fact you are right, and it was unfair of me to call it dishonest. Dishonest is to harsh a word, I should have said confusion or conflict. I was trying to speak to the internal conflict that causes someone to declare themselves something that through an endless set of limits (be they openly stated or covertly held), they may in fact be precluded from being. If you think labels are meaningless than the point is mute but if you see labels as expressions of self you may see my point. Or not :) I am in no way trying to set any kind of personal criteria as to what is a submissive or a dominant or whatever. I don't care. I do think that there is a commonly understood concept of what these labels represent and I am assuming that if people use them they accept that broadly defined definition . Otherwise why use them. Why not call yourself Bob who likes a little light spanking and Sue who will gladly submit when she is in the mood. That is totally cool with me. But when Bob and Sue declare themselves to be master and slave it makes me wonder why. No big deal, I just wonder why. But to that point I would ask you this. Can a set of personal limits, be they moral or physical or emotional, or even intellectual, be so exhaustive that they preclude you from being what you outwardly define yourself to be? And if that is the case what is the point. You tell me.

IvyMorgan -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/27/2008 1:24:15 PM)
I think we have terms that have definitions that are accepted across the board, kinda. I mean, we all know vaguely what you mean by "submissive" and "dominant" (hence the frequent posts about "he/she isn't a dominant/submissive"). Trying to say something like, "I'm a submissive... I tell my dominant what to do" just doesn't make sense, as a "community" we'd say you were using the term "submissive" incorrectly, you might be a "bottom", but you're not a "submissive" in the way that the term is generally used. So, I don't think that, as individuals, we can define labels. We can, however, clarify what we mean by a lable. "I'm a submissive, by which I mean I do what my husband wishes, but this only applies to my husband, I am only submissive to him." I'm in the process of re-labeling, it's like redecorating, but messier. I think labels are useful, they let people make basic generalised assumptions about you, and know vaguely what view point and perspective you're coming at an issue from. Labels become un-useful if you stop asking questions about how an individual is using that label, how they are defining it. I don't see why a sub/slave/bottom having a list of limits makes them less subbly/slavely/bottomly. (Or the flip side of that.) They aren't "less honest", or however you (OP) phrased it.

stella41b -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/27/2008 5:06:37 PM)
There's Stella the beer and Stella the person.. others are also called Stella.. but they're not quite like me.

CookieSlave -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/27/2008 5:29:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlyStone As far as being dishonest, I was talking about being honest to ones self but if you took offense I apologize and I certainly don't mean to be judgmental. Glad to hear you didn't mean to be judgemental. But, I still disagree with the dishonesty thing, even with one's self. Again, if that is what someone is comfortable with, if that's what makes sense for them, then.. it's what makes sense, and I don't think that means they are necessarily being dishonest. quote: ORIGINAL: SlyStone I was trying to speak to the internal conflict that causes someone to declare themselves something that through an endless set of limits (be they openly stated or covertly held), they may in fact be precluded from being. If you think labels are meaningless than the point is mute but if you see labels as expressions of self you may see my point. Or not :) I get your point I just mostly disagree with it. (Sorry.. picky vocab thing, but the point is generally "moot" not "mute"). Umm.. where was I.... I just think that gets into a sticky area. For instance, to use some generally used labels, I might think of myself as "slave" because my understanding of the concept of "slave" is what I can most closely identify myself with, what I "feel" I am. However, that might not be what you think of as a slave, because you might think I've limited it out, you might think I'm actually sub.. or bottom.. or whatever. If that fictional Bob & Sue want to call themselves master and slave because that is what they feel that they are, they believe they are a master and his slave, I think that works for them. One thing I've learned since I've been here is that there is a LOT that is up to individual interpretation, and that it's all ok. Note that this is a lesson I've picked up from the people I've perceived as having the kind of valuable information and input that works for me. Someone else might think that's full of crap, and that's fine.. for them. Me, I kinda loosely figure that anyone identified as: Master/Mistress, Sir/Ma'am, Dom/Domme are probably going to be the take-charge kinda folks. The folks referred to as slave, girl/boy, sub - these are going to be the taken-charge-of folks. As far as the levels or degrees of one label vs. another on either side, well, if I absolutely HAVE to know to what degree Bob is a D-type and Sue is an S-type, then I'll probably get to know that anyway, otherwise, it's kind of irrelevant. Just my thought. -cs

DesFIP -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/27/2008 6:45:23 PM)
Very few people in this world, vanilla or kinky, are self knowledgable.It isn't a BDSM problem, it's a people problem.

leadership527 -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/27/2008 7:09:13 PM)
So just to recap, what the "issue" here is that a bunch of people who don't know themselves aren't correctly applying labels which are undefined. Just thinking about that makes my head hurt. I'm going to go back to bossing my wife around.

DominaErotica00 -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/27/2008 9:16:39 PM)
I am a firm believer with loads of proof that there are NUMEROUS amounts of people that perpetrate a fraud. Saying that they are one thing but when it comes down to it and they are put to the test and confronted they cower like a leaf in the hot sun...I am very adament and descriptive about this post as I state in My profile journal here on collar me regarding this type of subject with people perpertrating a fraud...Titles play an important role in our society as a whole. And some of us including Myself put it out there for the definition and staple as to who we are as a person and how we want to be perceived with a level of respect and understanding. Titles are necessary to filter out what direction or person to deal with according to our needs and desires. For example a Dominant looking woman could attend a fetish party dressed for the occasion in Domme gear, would not need a neon sign saying "Look at Me I am a Domme". The subs in waiting will see that and know what title She is. And of course if the sub is standing there with a collar and leash around his neck, you already know what his title is. Some situations require no words. But for the most part some people just like to place a title next to their names just for ego sake with no substance at all behind it...Sometimes getting to the point they are so dillusional about it they actually start to believe it themselves and drag other people into their madness!

hardbodysub -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/27/2008 10:31:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlyStone ... I realize that there are no bdsm label police that are going to go around calling out impostors ... Haven't been around here long, have you? lol

SlyStone -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/28/2008 12:10:21 AM)
"(Sorry.. picky vocab thing, but the point is generally "moot" not "mute")." "The point is generally moot"? If you are going to waste your time correcting grammar and typos on a bdsm discussion board you should at least try to do so in a coherent manner. You are attempting to say that generally, the word moot, not mute, is used in conjunction with the word point. Of course you could have just let it go, knowning what I meant, or simply said "hey I think you meant to say moot", but whatever gets you through the day. Anyway you sure did get me and thanks for the nifty "vocab" lesson, really helped add to the discussion. "Me, I kinda loosely figure that anyone identified as: Master/Mistress, Sir/Ma'am, Dom/Domme are probably going to be the take-charge kinda folks. The folks referred to as slave, girl/boy, sub - these are going to be the taken-charge-of folks." Yep, you got it all figured out. Good luck to you.

SlyStone -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/28/2008 12:18:45 AM)
quote: But for the most part some people just like to place a title next to their names just for ego sake with no substance at all behind it...Sometimes getting to the point they are so delusional about it they actually start to believe it themselves and drag other people into their madness! I wouldn't say it is for the most part, I think there are many times where the title fits the man or woman, but I would agree that it does often happen. I think the problem is that extremely conflicted people are generally emotionally unstable, and emotionally unstable people make for very difficult relationships.

masterforRT -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/28/2008 12:40:48 AM)
I call subs on this all the time... I read one sub's profile and she used the phrase 'will not' 11 times in her first paragraph! I messaged her and asked her what she WILL do! This is fantasy, people! I know it's important to be careful, but c'mon! Don't be PARANOID!

catize -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/28/2008 5:14:31 AM)
quote: I wouldn't say it is for the most part, I think there are many times where the title fits the man or woman, but I would agree that it does often happen. I think the problem is that extremely conflicted people are generally emotionally unstable, and emotionally unstable people make for very difficult relationships. Most of the time I believe that people choose a label based on the terms they know; I don’t see where that constitutes fraud. Understanding the nuances of a given orientation comes with time, learning and experience. Uncertainty regarding where one fits within wiitwd is hardly an indication of deep seated conflict or emotional instability.

catize -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/28/2008 5:17:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masterforRT I call subs on this all the time... I read one sub's profile and she used the phrase 'will not' 11 times in her first paragraph! I messaged her and asked her what she WILL do! This is fantasy, people! I know it's important to be careful, but c'mon! Don't be PARANOID! So you think it is okay to write unsolicited advice to someone you don’t know to tell her what you think is wrong with her profile? What is the problem with an honest list of things a person isn’t interested in? How does that translate into paranoia? And truthfully, since this is the internet, after all, I believe that it is the wiser course to be careful. Better to have a long list of ‘won’t do’ than to say ‘I’ll do anything!’

MadRabbit -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/28/2008 5:17:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masterforRT I call subs on this all the time... I read one sub's profile and she used the phrase 'will not' 11 times in her first paragraph! I messaged her and asked her what she WILL do! This is fantasy, people! I know it's important to be careful, but c'mon! Don't be PARANOID! Ha! Setting clear boundaries with strangers on the Internet.... Loser!

Manawyddan -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/28/2008 5:18:02 AM)
There's a reason I usually self-describe myself as a 'wannabe.'

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/28/2008 5:31:18 AM)
i call myself a brat, not only because it's fun, but because i'm unowned and nobody nearby to "tame" me GRINZ

housemouse61 -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/29/2008 6:25:10 PM)
peels the label off a can of organic veggies and slaps it on me forehead "100% Natural; No Artificial Flavors or Colors" There! Now i have a label that truly fits. How's that? ;-) nikki Property of Cruel-Desires

SailingBum -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/29/2008 8:27:30 PM)
Must be a full moon. The ranting posts tonight are "out there" BadOne

leakylee -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (9/29/2008 11:56:39 PM)
well CM provides i guess the noun version of my orientation, that being submissive. somewhere in my profile i throw out a bunch of other nouns that simply qualify me in a lifestyle sense. they dont begin to be the end all of who i am. i readily admit to the smart assed, mouthy, slightly nutty, short round stumpy, opinionated individual that i am. but most of that is somewhere in the 4 years and pages and pages of journals. labels give some clue. give a starting point. i dont rely on them to end something. sensual dominant sadist is a label that catches my intial interest. it is a hope and a requirement for me. a base connection, that without would most leave to much of me lacking and wanting. so while not fantasy based, maybe they can be more of a sign post, a flag saying over here. smooches lee

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125