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sarisx -> RE: You Call Yourself a What? (10/4/2008 9:05:52 AM)
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I just want to say thank you for that post Whiplash, that has to be one of the most intelligent posts I've read on here in awhile.
I've read through this topic and as with most topics that people tend to disagree with one another on it starts to become some petty back and forth thing between a few of the people posting. That truelly saddens me as I see intelligent people with thoughts and ideas and feelings about a subject descend to a level of pettiness not suitable to the integrity of an intelligent well thought out debate. A person doesn't have to insult or tear down somebodies thoughts, ideas, feelings or grammar to make a valid point in a debate of any kind, though we all to often do so in most venues of life.
I believe that labels are generally unavoidable, those of you out there that don't want to fit in some neat mold and are constantly pushing to stand outside of the labels that the societies around you want to place on people unavoidably become a label. Labels are a part of human nature as cognitive aware beings at this point in our growth as a whole. Since as far back as history remembers we have classified and labeled everything that does exist, might exist or could exist. That isn't to say that labels are a bad thing if they are used in the proper context and definition. But as it has been said on this thread, each person has their own idea as to what a certain label might mean to them. One person might read that a person is submissive and through their own understanding after having educated themselves, or their lack of education, will believe a submissive is someone who has no will of their own and must be controlled by another. I could go on and on with all of the different meanings people place on that word. To me a submissive is simply somebody who submits to someone else, this to me is a choice they make and doesn't define that person as having no say or control over what they feel, think, or believe is right for them as a person. Hence, if a submissive feels that knife play is a hard limit, their shouldn't be anybody that tries to force them to see where they error just because they are submissive.
I would label myself as a Master. But not because I control others, as I have not chosen to take a submissive in a long time for my own reasons. I would say I am a Master because I choose first and foremost to control myself in all areas of my life. But the definition of that word has many meanings, one of them is according to Websters dictionary "an owner especially of a slave or animal " so by that definition I may or may not be a Master, as I do own three dogs, but I do not own a slave. But let us look at it in a deeper light, a man who is the CEO of a large consulting firm has power over his employees but chooses on his free time in his personnal life to be submissive in this lifestyle and take on a Domme. Another of Websters definitions for Master is "one having authority over another" "one having control" Does the CEO not have authority and control over the employees of his company, so by definition is he not a Master in that environment, yet he neatly falls under the label of submissive because of his lifestyle choices outside of work.
So in my perspective labels may be helpful to show a person a general concept of what you think you are, or what you would like to think that you are. But because of the varied degrees of definition and each persons own idea of what a title or label may mean it is really a very small part of who and what we are in this lifestyle. It does help to direct and guide people along the way, but lets face it, you can't know that the person you see on that profile is somebody that will be interesting and good to become involved with on any level based on a label, you must (as I know it has been stated in this thread) begin a dialogue, get to know one another, see what your interests, like and dislikes are. Find if you have any of common things that it takes to build a strong and lasting relationship with the person. Or at the very least be intelligent enough to speak long enough to form a good idea as to whether or not this person would be safe to play with if a lasting serious relationship is not what your looking for.
So basically the conflict in labels only matters if your looking for the quick pick up, they typical I want to find a Dominate or submissive for next saturday night, or your wanting to meet somebody in an unrealistic time frame. At that point I can completely agree with the confusion of these labels and how they apply to our particular lifestyle choices. But then, people that are seeking that type of instant gratification are generally, though not always, not the safest of individuals to associate yourself with.
Anyways, that's my 2 cents.
Be well,
Damien
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