RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants

RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (Full Version)

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Coupleofwhats -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 8:50:02 AM)
So true. I think that since all people ever "see" of BDSM is porn, they take all that stuff to be true. It's like, "Hey, you like to dominate! I want to be dominated! Make it happen!" And there's not a lick of regard for me and my desires. Not to be conceited... but I'm 25 and attractive. Yet, I get men all the time, who are way older and not taking care of themselves, expecting me to take them and ravish them because they say they're submissive. As if I was just a Dommebot with no wants, doomed to dominate whatever throws itself at my feet. I think that this misconception really informs the way that many submissives relate to Professionals as well. It seems that many think that the domme, wowed by their total passivity, will have no choice but to insist upon taking them on as a houseboy or lover or whatever. As if the normal rules of attraction do not apply to BDSM. Then they are angered when the relationship does not escalate to the level they were expecting.

Chi -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 9:21:20 AM)
Shitted: I am not following you or anyone, I am responding to your comments. If addressing my comments to your specifically has made you fell uncomfortable I sincerely apologize.

chamberqueen -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 9:23:11 AM)
Coupleofwhats, I love that - Dommebot.

sillyslaveboy -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 9:24:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chi Shitted: Tempting, ain't it? :)

VampiresLair -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 9:32:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha True or False: Dominant women prefer to be in charge, so once they know you are a potential submissive for them, they will make all the advances and your role is to be obedient and follow her lead. They will determine if they are interested. True for this particular dominant woman. The thing most miss is that I am the one to determine if they are a potetial submissive for me, and that potential comes from a lot ore than siply being an unattached submissive. Dominant women are easier to date because they are in charge. You just need to know how to follow instructions. This is also true for some people. I know for Fox, at least, it is far easier to date a Dominant woman who makes all the decisions. He would be lost trying to share the responsability and make the decisions for himself and someone else on a regular basis. Dominant women have many options for partners, including introducing vanilla boyfriends to S&M; that said, submissive men need to be courting them just as aggressively as vanilla men. True again, though I do not think that introducing the vanillas to submissive S&M works nearly as well as most think. I personally think the most pervasive subtle misconsception I have run into is that FemDommes do not say please and thank you. That somehow being polite is being less dominant. I ask Fox to do things, I do not bark orders. Obviously, this translates to some as weakness. It isnt as if I think Fox will actually say no, he understands how responsability as much as I do. However, I say please and thank you bceasue he is my partner and my friend as well as my slave. Porn dictates I should be yelling orders and stomping my foot and the like. Sorry, but that doenst work for me. DV

Chi -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 10:37:59 AM)
Sillyslavbeboy: You have me at a loss, but thank you for commenting.

LexiTempest -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 11:20:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats ... Yet, I get men all the time, who are way older and not taking care of themselves, expecting me to take them and ravish them because they say they're submissive. If I had a nickel for every guy who thought he was submissive just because he "likes to please in bed"... [8\|]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 1:12:46 PM)
Or that other prizewinner, "I'm great at oral worship". [8\|]

ShiftedJewel -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 1:41:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chi Shitted: I am not following you or anyone, I am responding to your comments. If addressing my comments to your specifically has made you fell uncomfortable I sincerely apologize. *See.... ^that is precisely why I prefer "Jewel".... lmao. Some pretty imaginative typos in "Shifted"... you think?* *Or was that freudian?* *Jewel* edited to add... yes, it is tempting so thank you for not jumping on that bandwagon.... lol

chiaThePet -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 1:48:12 PM)
Damn, you beat me to it Miss Jewel. chia* (the pet)

ShiftedJewel -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 1:49:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VampiresLair quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha True or False: Dominant women prefer to be in charge, so once they know you are a potential submissive for them, they will make all the advances and your role is to be obedient and follow her lead. They will determine if they are interested. True for this particular dominant woman. The thing most miss is that I am the one to determine if they are a potetial submissive for me, and that potential comes from a lot ore than siply being an unattached submissive. Dominant women are easier to date because they are in charge. You just need to know how to follow instructions. This is also true for some people. I know for Fox, at least, it is far easier to date a Dominant woman who makes all the decisions. He would be lost trying to share the responsability and make the decisions for himself and someone else on a regular basis. Dominant women have many options for partners, including introducing vanilla boyfriends to S&M; that said, submissive men need to be courting them just as aggressively as vanilla men. True again, though I do not think that introducing the vanillas to submissive S&M works nearly as well as most think. I personally think the most pervasive subtle misconsception I have run into is that FemDommes do not say please and thank you. That somehow being polite is being less dominant. I ask Fox to do things, I do not bark orders. Obviously, this translates to some as weakness. It isnt as if I think Fox will actually say no, he understands how responsability as much as I do. However, I say please and thank you bceasue he is my partner and my friend as well as my slave. Porn dictates I should be yelling orders and stomping my foot and the like. Sorry, but that doenst work for me. DV I absolutely agree DV!! I'm very polite and I use please and thank you and "as soon as you get a chance I need you to ___". Of course, I'm being polite and in reality I make it very clear that I don't mean "when you finish playing that game" or "when you finally decide to get off the puter" or "when you feel like it"... I mean exactly "as soon as you get a chance". *Ok, babbling again. But yeah, I do think of them as a friend and partner as well and I've never been one to bark orders... that just isn't me.* *Jewel*

ShiftedJewel -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 1:50:43 PM)
*Oh ok... I get it... it's pick on "Shitted" day huh???* *rotflmmfao* *Jewel*

chiaThePet -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 1:52:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Or that other prizewinner, "I'm great at oral worship". [8\|] Sooooo, reciting War And Peace whilst feeding you pie is out of the question? chia* (the pet)

ShiftedJewel -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 1:55:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Or that other prizewinner, "I'm great at oral worship". [8\|] Sooooo, reciting War And Peace whilst feeding you pie is out of the question? chia* (the pet) *I love pie. And I have War and Peace..... hmmmm* *Jewel*

chiaThePet -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 2:01:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Or that other prizewinner, "I'm great at oral worship". [8\|] Sooooo, reciting War And Peace whilst feeding you pie is out of the question? chia* (the pet) *I love pie. And I have War and Peace..... hmmmm* *Jewel* Soooo apparently if I take up scat, "Heaven, I'm in heaven." chia* (the pet)

ShiftedJewel -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 2:04:18 PM)
*All I can say is EEEWwwwwwww* *Jewel*

chiaThePet -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 2:16:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel *All I can say is EEEWwwwwwww* *Jewel* Oh, let's not bring sheep into this. chia* (the pet)

Chi -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 4:14:05 PM)
Jewel, I don’t want to start another shitty subject but are you saying, you eat pie and read war and peace when you undergo oral worship?

ShiftedJewel -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 4:17:08 PM)
*Only if it's boring darlin', only if it's boring....* *Ok... one of you two is gonna end up kidnapped in the not so distant future!!* *Wait... yeah.... Scooter said I could have two.... hmmmm* *Jewel*

LadyHibiscus -> RE: The most subtle misconception about female dominants (10/1/2008 7:22:38 PM)
No Tolstoy for me, thanks! Gogol or Dostoyevsky are preferred.

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