RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (Full Version)

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missturbation -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:13:22 PM)

Sorry but you missed my point entirely. I was actually speaking of the posturing that goes on the boards which has been denied by many who posted here. I was speaking of those looking down from their ivory towers on the honesty and integrity of others
 
quote:

Maybe it's possible that some of us really are here for healthy and good reasons.


Are you saying that softness's reasons for being into bdsm are unhealthy?
Please show me one unhealthy reason for being into bdsm from the below.
 
  • Being in borderline abusive relationships (personal/sexual/professional) gets my juices flowing - as long as I have an escape route and a safety net.
  • I am arrogant enough to know that I will never find anyone who is the boss of me, better than I am.
  • I will never be made to do something I do not wish to do ... It might look that way, but it will never actually happen.
  • I like being a heavy player because people look at me and flinch .. that turns me on.
  • If I was a thin, beautiful woman who could walk into any bar and get the attention I want ... I would be as vanilla as the ay is long.
     
     



    • MadRabbit -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:18:12 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: NuevaVida


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

    Maybe it's possible that some of us really are here for healthy and good reasons.




    Not only is it possible, it's probable. Where I saw the irony was, unless I was misreading/misunderstanding, witnessing the criticism launched from what seemed a less than compassionate standpoint. Just recently, softness was applauded for how she was dealing with a very painful breakup. Now, just a couple weeks later, she is put down for a sense of confidence that seems over the top to some.

    I just wonder if people have short memories, or if they understand the process of such a breakup can catapult us all over the emotional board, within ourselves?

    Or do we only want to see the good stuff?

    Just some weird contemplations from a current catapulter...


    Well, that's an entirely different issue, because I don't believe I have launched any type of personal attack at softness. I only argued against the rising insinuation that people are into BDSM, because they are fucked up in some way and I am now somewhat taking offense to the idea that just because some of us didn't produce a list of psychological issues related to our activities that we are apparently living in an Ivory tower.

    It puts me in a rather peculiar position when confronted with such an accusation, because apparently the only way to qualify as not being in the Ivory Tower is to make up some kind of issue.

    Ok...fine....Uncle Billy touched me in the bad place as a child and now I have to have sex while wearing a gas mask and a pink ballerina dress with thigh high leather boots. Am I out of the Ivory Tower now?

    Oh yeah...and I am an alcoholic. I've overcome my denial. [:D]



    NuevaVida -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:19:48 PM)

    Apologies, MR, if my post seemed to indicate that you personally launched an attack. It was not directed at you; rather it was answering your post in general, from my perspective.



    MadRabbit -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:22:23 PM)

    I'm not going to comment on the impressions I've gathered from Softness's posts, because I don't know her personally and it would be just Internet speculation.

    The use of the word "unhealthy" as I was using it wasn't directly related to anything in specific one person said, but rather that when someone wants us to be "brutually honest", that usually tends to encompass talking about the bad, negative, or unhealthy things about or our involvement in BDSM.



    missturbation -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:23:17 PM)

    quote:

    I thought, all and all, a pretty good OP like most of softness's threads even if she needs to work on a less snobbish and more mature presentation.

    Not a personal attack?
     
    quote:

    I am now somewhat taking offense to the idea that just because some of us didn't produce a list of psychological issues related to our activities that we are apparently living in an Ivory tower.

    I actually had you down as someone who defended softness's op.
    Sensitive much?
    However now............. if the cap fit's wear it.



    gypsygrl -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:26:18 PM)

    quote:

    I have to have sex while wearing a gas mask and a pink ballerina dress with thigh high leather boots.


    Ok, now that's hot!!!  I just hope we all can process our trauma in such creative ways. :)



    missturbation -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:26:48 PM)

    b
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

    I'm not going to comment on the impressions I've gathered from Softness's posts, because I don't know her personally and it would be just Internet speculation.

    Snobbish, immature?

    quote:

    The use of the word "unhealthy" as I was using it wasn't directly related to anything in specific one person said, but rather that when someone wants us to be "brutually honest", that usually tends to encompass talking about the bad, negative, or unhealthy things about or our involvement in BDSM.


    Thats a big assumption. Ya know what assuming does, don't ya?



    MadRabbit -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:27:29 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: missturbation

    quote:

    I thought, all and all, a pretty good OP like most of softness's threads even if she needs to work on a less snobbish and more mature presentation.

    Not a personal attack?
     

    Nope, not all. A personal attack would be calling softness snobbish and immature which I didn't. I commented on how the OP came off somewhat as snobbish and immature thus resulting in the negative responses.

    To take that as a personal attack is the result of someone being overly sensitive and not actually reading what I wrote.

    quote:

      
    quote:

    I am now somewhat taking offense to the idea that just because some of us didn't produce a list of psychological issues related to our activities that we are apparently living in an Ivory tower.

    I actually had you down as someone who defended softness's op.
    Sensitive much?
    However now............. if the cap fit's wear it.


    My rebuttal to your post had nothing to do with personal attacks, but rather what I thought you were communicating : That people who didn't produce a laundry list of negative issues weren't being brutually honest and continueing to posture.

    This wasn't what you meant as you elaborated above so we will have to chalk this up to miscommunication.

    Still buddies?



    MadRabbit -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:29:19 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: missturbation
    The use of the word "unhealthy" as I was using it wasn't directly related to anything in specific one person said, but rather that when someone wants us to be "brutually honest", that usually tends to encompass talking about the bad, negative, or unhealthy things about or our involvement in BDSM.


    Thats a big assumption. Ya know what assuming does, don't ya?


    Not too big of an assumption. If I were to produce a laundry list of good and awesome qualities about me, what exactly would be the qualifier for "brutual" in that kind of honesty?



    missturbation -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:30:38 PM)

    quote:

    To take that as a personal attack is the result of someone being overly sensitive and not actually reading what I wrote.


    Hmm. Yet you taking my post about how people were in their ivory towers was perfectly ok to take as a personal insult even though i never even mentioned your name?
     





    MadRabbit -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:34:05 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: missturbation

    quote:

    To take that as a personal attack is the result of someone being overly sensitive and not actually reading what I wrote.


    Hmm. Yet you taking my post about how people were in their ivory towers was perfectly ok to take as a personal insult even though i never even mentioned your name?
     





    Nope. I said that I took the insinuation (hence what was applied by the logic being used) that the absence of a laundry list of negative issues for being into being BDSM equated to being in an Ivory Tower as being personally insulting since I fall into the category of people who directly rebutted the idea that they were into BDSM for negative reasons or issues.

    I would recommend giving up this personal vendetta to stretch everything I am saying into something I did not say.



    missturbation -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:36:59 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: missturbation
    The use of the word "unhealthy" as I was using it wasn't directly related to anything in specific one person said, but rather that when someone wants us to be "brutually honest", that usually tends to encompass talking about the bad, negative, or unhealthy things about or our involvement in BDSM.

    Thats a big assumption. Ya know what assuming does, don't ya?


    Not too big of an assumption. If I were to produce a laundry list of good and awesome qualities about me, what exactly would be the qualifier for "brutual" in that kind of honesty?


    It could have worked in the same way if truth be told. Being big headed about yourself would have the same effect on me as if you had listed what you call 'unhealthy' stuff.
    Yes it wuld qualify for me as the same kind of honesty.



    MadRabbit -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:38:54 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: missturbation
    It could have worked in the same way if truth be told. Being big headed about yourself would have the same effect on me as if you had listed what you call 'unhealthy' stuff.
    Yes it wuld qualify for me as the same kind of honesty.


    That's cool. We will just have to agree to disagree, because I won't take a laundry list of good and awesome qualities to be "brutually" honest, because there is nothing hard, enduring, or difficult about publicly talking about the positive.



    missturbation -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:40:25 PM)

    quote:

    I would recommend giving up this personal vendetta to stretch everything I am saying into something I did not say


    Personal vendetta?
    Stretching what you say?
     
    My god pot, kettle, black on the second. The first grow up and recommend away.



    missturbation -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:43:08 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: missturbation
    It could have worked in the same way if truth be told. Being big headed about yourself would have the same effect on me as if you had listed what you call 'unhealthy' stuff.
    Yes it wuld qualify for me as the same kind of honesty.


    That's cool. We will just have to agree to disagree, because I won't take a laundry list of good and awesome qualities to be "brutually" honest, because there is nothing hard, enduring, or difficult about publicly talking about the positive.


    For you maybe. For me however i could list my flaws until the cows come home. My positive stuff would take me forever. Speak for yourself not everyone.



    MadRabbit -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:44:16 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: missturbation

    quote:

    I would recommend giving up this personal vendetta to stretch everything I am saying into something I did not say


    Personal vendetta?
    Stretching what you say?
     
    My god pot, kettle, black on the second. The first grow up and recommend away.


    By definition, you are stretching what I am saying because you are impling things that aren't directly written. I did the same thing which I admitted to as being miscommunication.

    And since I am cooly and non-offensively attempting to explain to you what I really meant so we can go back to being friends and given your continued ignorance and lack of acceptance of that, I would defiently consider this to be a personal vendetta.

    But at any point that you want to try and resolve our differences like I am trying to do instead of trying to create new ones with each post, hop right on in and we can wrap this up and kiss and make up.



    MadRabbit -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:45:46 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: missturbation
    Speak for yourself not everyone.


    I agree that is a very good practice which I follow with all the "I" statements in every one of my posts.



    juliaoceania -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:47:29 PM)

    Softness,

    There have been times I questioned how submissive I am. If the relationship I am currently in failed I would not seek another with a D/s dynamic. I have no desire to be "collared" or "owned". I am strong in my own life, I am successful, and I run my own show. At times I challenge my Daddy in ways I never ever used to. Our relationship had to evolve.

    So here I am, in the same relationship I was in going on three years ago, and yet it is not the same relationship at all. I am submissive when it seems right and feels right, and not that way at all other times. I get mad, I speak up for myself now, and I also demand to be treated the way I deserve to be these days. We needed me to evolve and grow and reach my full potential...

    Here is the deal, there was point in my life last spring when I realized that part of my submissiveness was a relic of low self esteem because of being an adult child of an alcoholic. Not all of my submissiveness was due to this, but the part of it that did not speak up for myself was related to that wound. I was able to return to being his submissive when I faced some of my "stuff". I am who I am, and if someone told me I was not a "submissive" I would not care. I am me, just like you are you. All the labels, all the roles we play, all of this is just more "stuff" that keeps us from reaching the true potential that we can in my mind. If we define ourselves by labels it is very hard to grow into something that may lie outside of that label. I would rather be me than be submissive...

    As far as those who email you little nasties... well if they aren't emailing you then they are emailing someone else. These people want to define themselves and you in a narrow way, let them, it does not change who you are.



    mistoferin -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:50:51 PM)

    missturbation, might I respectfully suggest that being such close friends may have you viewing some of the comments made in this thread from a perspective which is entirely different than anyone else here possibly can. I have read the thread also...but I honestly don't see the personal attacks to the same degree you seem to be seeing them.



    YourhandMyAss -> RE: Ivory Towers .... and other false gods (10/12/2008 2:55:45 PM)

    I'm always honest on here. I speak my mind don't hold back for fear of others not likeing me. I don't care about popularity contests, or if people get pissed off that I dare voice opinions that are tacky or make me seem less kind. You can read some of my posts on here to know that in particular the who didn't glue themselves to the tv after 9/ll. lol. So many people were outraged and told me I was tacky to post an anti post on the date of the event I just shrugged an said oh well.  also when most people would say ewwwwwwww tmi I say whocares , life happens an ya can't squeal an hide behind tmi all the time.
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: softness

    So anyway, try stepping out of the Ivory Tower and trying some real brutal honesty




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