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RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:53:23 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
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For the love of God, spend the time with your son and to hell with Master Bonehead Selfish Twit!

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Post #: 21

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:58:29 PM

apiercedkitty

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
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Yeah, so i would have told him when he originally instructed that you wouldn't be spending any less time for him that he needn't worry any longer how much time i devoted to him - because it would be none. i would then have promptly never spoken or emailed again.
Of course, that's just me and i tend to be hard assed when it comes to my kids.

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(in reply to enlightenedFK)

Post #: 22

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 7:15:31 PM

faithbunny

Posts: 99
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

My beloved and I were mostly off-again from 06-08, so I can tell you from experience: men come and go. Your babies are forever. Letting anyone take from your children--be it objects, money, or your time and attention--should be your number one hard limit. If it were me, I'd send him a carefully worded e-mail along the lines of, 'I know you're upset, but my son comes first; if you can handle that, you know where to reach me.' And then I'd go take my kid to a movie. If he's the guy for you, he'll get over himself. If he's not, there are plenty of douchebags in this world; he won't be hard to replace. ; )

~faith

(in reply to enlightenedFK)

Post #: 23

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 7:42:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Motherhood trumps mastery for me. More importantly I picked a man who holds the same view as to the importance of family. Why didn't you find out his thoughts on this ahead of time?

Trying to prevent you from spending any time with your son isn't sadistic, it's insecure and nasty. Your son's in the military and might be deployed which he is aware of. So he prevents you from seeing him for your last chance for a full year.

You deserve someone who wants you to be happy and not full of regrets. If your son is sent overseas you'll regret letting this man ruin your time together. So don't let him.

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Post #: 24

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 7:44:20 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

And you are serving an ASSHOLE because...?

I can only assume it is because you have very low self esteem. As a first step toward aquiring some in a hurry:
DUMP HIM. Then get out of the house, turn off your cellphone and GO HAVE FUN WITH YOUR SON!

You'll get to know your son better, and you'll have a good start on a much better sense of self-worth. Maybe then you'll feel like you deserve an actual Master: someone who cares about your emotional well-being, and that of your son. One who will promote and facilitate your relationship with your son, not get in the way of it.

Your son needs you in his life. Especially right now, at this tender age. Any man who cannot understand about that is not a "Master". He sounds like an insecure, foolish ASSHOLE. If you do not dump him NOW, you'll wish you had, later.

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(in reply to enlightenedFK)

Post #: 25

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 7:51:03 PM

cravesdom

Posts: 5219
Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Pennsylvania
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This would be a huge red flag to me. Anyone who did not understand the importance of my family to me, would never last long in my life. That is one of the first things I look at in a relationship. And then to expect you to wait for an email that may come hours later before going grocery shopping, please. He has serious issues in my eyes.

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Post #: 26

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 7:57:53 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

what craves said...

(and I don't even have kids)

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Post #: 27

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 8:03:57 PM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
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No one comes between a mother and her son. The fact that you even considered allowing him to do so is what surprised me. I dont care if he is online or real time, someone who thinks they are more important than your flesh and blood is no dominant.
One of the biggest red flags we are very quick to warn newcomers of is someone trying to separate them form their family. So, why are you even considering letting him do so to you especially when he is not even physically there?
If he leaves you over your decision... there are other masters out there. Trust me you will find someone else.
You cannot say the same about your son, you only get one of him.

DV

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(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 28

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 8:14:21 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Is this an internet-only relationship or have you actually met in person? That will make a difference on my answer.

Not in mine......

Okay, Pimpette, follow me here for a sec...

1. Have met in person, have a relationship, happen to be in different states: I would have a frank discussion about the importance of family, what it means to me, and what it means to the master, and based on the results of that discussion, decide whether I was staying in the relationship.

2. Never having met in person: I would re-assess why I was forsaking my son for the commands of someone thousands of miles away that I had never met, and re-assess why I was in that sort of relationship.

Cali

Yei in any case, if her LD Master isn't taking into consideration that family is also important to the OP then why would that be any different if the OP's Master lived in the same town? My feelings is there would be any difference simply because if he is ignoring the importance of family to her online then he he'll probably be like that in person. Granted a person should place their Master on a high level of importance yet I don't feel that has to overshadow the importance of family in one's life. One shouldn't have to compete with the other, that's if a person has a good relationship with family.

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(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 29

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 8:15:27 PM

whis31

Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

the only thing i don't have to ask permission for is spending time with my daughter...weather it's the fun things or the not so fun stuff...she goes first...matter fact it's written in to the contact that our children come first...Master has a son a year younger them my daughter so his son and my daughter are first....

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 30

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 8:20:22 PM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Your master is asking you to choose between him and your family. Time to make a choice.

MAMandSlave, it's obvious that you are still very young (checked your profile -- 22) and, although what you said sounds very "slave-like" and devoted, I certainly hope that if and when YOU have children, you will never allow anyone -- man, Dom, parent, sibling, whatever -- to dictate when you can and can't see your child, and/or how much time you can and can't spend with him or her.

To the OP: Your son is in the military and is visiting for a short while. Your Dom lives far away and was not available for you to ask him a question (which, personally, I find a bit annoying and suspicious, if you have to ask permission for mundane things like going grocery shopping). Why should you be punished for living your life? Do you have to have his permission to walk the dog? Take a shower? Go pee?? Or are you supposed to walk around doing the pee-pee dance until such time that he can get back to you at HIS convenience?

A Dom whom I hold in the utmost regard once told me that a submissive or slave should never allow a Dom to interfere with her family, friends, pets, job, or health. For him to do so is the beginning of an abusive relationship. His words, not mine...but I have taken them to heart.

Spend time with your son. In hindsight, which would you regret more? Not having spent time with your son (who will always be your son, BTW)? Or having displeased your Dom? I think you already know the answer to your question; otherwise, you would not have posted here.

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Post #: 31

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 9:45:30 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild
Yei in any case, if her LD Master isn't taking into consideration that family is also important to the OP then why would that be any different if the OP's Master lived in the same town?

At the risk of drawing a lot of fire, I give more credence to a relationship that is in the flesh. That's why I would have a discussion with the first example, and not with the second. Although, he would have to have a really good explanation for me not to walk, and the likelihood of that explanation existing is pretty slim.

Cali

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(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 32

RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 10:42:42 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

**FR**

Your son is obviously your priority.

And while you're spending quality time with your son, perhaps your 'master' will spend less time online and actually go out and experience what life is like in the real world.

Maybe a quick smack upside the head with a reality-based clue-by-four will get him to realise what a fuckwit he's being.

If not, then it's time to find a real Master....

Good luck, and enjoy your time with your son!

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(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 33

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 12:31:45 AM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I don't even quite understand why this needed to even be asked...I'm more worried you even had to think about this and ask other people about this. I'm not even a mother and yet this is a no brainer.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 34

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 12:49:17 AM

tactileartist

Posts: 36
Joined: 12/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: enlightenedFK

I just had a situation with my Master right now we are in a LD relationship, that has made me think i need to do some reassing in areas. One thing he did was misled me on how sadistic he was. I have accepted that with not too much problems, but my youngest son who is in the military is home on leave for 2 weeks. He informed me i was to still not lessen the amount of attention i am giving to him and to the training he is instiling in me. This means my i get little actual quality time with my son.

Today i had asked permission to go get groceries and as my son had plans for later we did not wait to get a email back i have no other way to contact him as he was at work. He called me later i told him i had went to go get groceries he asked if i had read the email first i admitted i had not. He told me he would call back in a few minutes and give me my punishment for not waiting.

I feel i need time with my son he is young and will not stay here with me much he will go off with his friends. I do not want to have to give up what little time i do have with him to do research during this time. I feel my son should be allowed to take precedence at this time. Am i so wrong to want this?

enlightened spirit(FK)

Dump him. Now.

This is a sign of abusive, controlling behavior, not Mastery. If you do not have self-esteem enough to believe that time with your children is your basic right (and at one point in my life I myself was that low, so I understand how that can happen), then consider this: Your Master apparently has no respect for servicemen, nor their right to spend their leave time with their families, and certainly no respect for your son.

Tell the self-centered SOB to go bugger himself, and then drop all contact.

(in reply to enlightenedFK)

Post #: 35

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 12:55:46 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Putting my personal view on the issue at hand (because it is actually not pertinent to your situation)...

quote:

ORIGINAL: enlightenedFK

Am i so wrong to want this?

If you even have to ask in the first place, you already know the answer. Don't be afraid to stand steadfast in support of the answer you already know.

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(in reply to enlightenedFK)

Post #: 36

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 1:36:00 AM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

Her profile is now hidden or gone so I hope she made the right decision and booted took Master "FK" was and spends the time with her son.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 37

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 1:41:01 AM

ApathyRomance

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

One thing he did was misled me on how sadistic he was.

I guess it would be nice for you to clarify that comment. Are you trying to make a cute little turn of phrase, or is he actually taking pleasure in the pain this is causing you, and did he actually lead you to believe this was not a level to which he would take sadism?

(in reply to enlightenedFK)

Post #: 38

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 2:01:47 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: enlightenedFK

I feel my son should be allowed to take precedence at this time. Am i so wrong to want this?

enlightened spirit(FK)

No, you're absolutely right.

This person simply isn't reasonable. A Mother needs time with her son; especially when he has been away for a while. As he's not reasonable in this instance, then expect to see this replicated in other areas. Simply put, he doesn't exactly have you welfare at heart, here.

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Post #: 39

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 2:56:53 AM

starx

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

Your original like was 'he already missled me over how sadistic he is'
now hes not even understanding enough to let you spend a bit of quality time with your son????

this guy sounds like a total winner

................not

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 40

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