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RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 12:51:39 PM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline

I was enlightened spirit but decided i no longer want to be with that man

I had already told him that as far as i was concerned he was not worth my time. My sons are my life to me i had made that clear in the begning. Both my sons are grown in their mid 20 and live several states away i see them seldom. When they do come for a visit i refuse to be restrictrd with my time with them. One son just spent 3 yrs in Afghanastian, was scheduled to go to Iraq in another 6 months. i do not feel i should have to lose what little time i have with him to satisfy a Dom who wants me to do silly research on the inrernet on orgassm denial. He said i was to do as told or be punished. His favorite punishment was having me smack my nipples 100 times with a hairbrush if i didn't do 2 research items, a dailey journal entry, list every thing i did that day and it was to be every thing, write a saying about him being the master and me being the slave and i was to obey and please him. It just seemed to be pointless i did not mind and was willing to do until mu son came home i figured that during that 2 weeks i could have a break to spend time with him. He said no he came before my sons. so now he does not have any place in my life. i am back to my old name and profile

patina

_____________________________

a diamond in the rough

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 61

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 1:23:49 PM

TabrisMaceth

Posts: 190
Joined: 9/23/2008
From: The Ghost Matrix
Status: offline

I could just reiterate what most everyone else has been saying, but just to be slightly original:

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

When I first started talking to Michael on the phone and my offspring would interrupt for whatever reason, I would apologize for the interruption (as a common courtesy). His reaction the very first time this happened? "I don't want you to EVER apologize for attending to your kids. They come first, PERIOD. Besides, I love listening to you be Mommy. It makes me feel closer to you."

GAWH! That is just too sweet!

-Tabris

_____________________________

I don't like hand baskets. Everything's always going to Hell in them.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 62

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 3:26:44 PM

MzCalisto

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline

BRAVO!! I am glad to hear that you decided that He was not worth your time. Welcome back

(in reply to patina)

Post #: 63

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 5:17:39 PM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline

kids come first. always. how could you even ask such a thing?
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 64

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 6:02:22 PM

DrgnSlayr

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/8/2008
From: Tallahassee, FL
Status: offline

Several have asked "How could you ask such a thing?"

I for one am glad you did for now you see ho much support you have and hopefully that gave you the stength you needed to carry through with what had to be done....hopefully with a minimum of shed tears.

(in reply to PanthersMom)

Post #: 65

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 6:35:53 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm glad. Now go spend your time with your son. Cook him all his favorite things.

This kind of thing is why it was important that I found a man who has offspring about the ages of mine, and who was as devoted to his as I am to mine. We disagree on how to raise them occasionally but we support each other and each other's offspring. For me, this was a necessary component of compatibility.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DrgnSlayr)

Post #: 66

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 6:59:58 PM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

I am so glad that you posted an update and made the decision you did. There is someone out there for you. Don't sell yourself short. Enjoy your
time with your son. Feel free to write me on the other side if you like.

Heather

quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

I was enlightened spirit but decided i no longer want to be with that man

I had already told him that as far as i was concerned he was not worth my time. My sons are my life to me i had made that clear in the begning. Both my sons are grown in their mid 20 and live several states away i see them seldom. When they do come for a visit i refuse to be restrictrd with my time with them. One son just spent 3 yrs in Afghanastian, was scheduled to go to Iraq in another 6 months. i do not feel i should have to lose what little time i have with him to satisfy a Dom who wants me to do silly research on the inrernet on orgassm denial. He said i was to do as told or be punished. His favorite punishment was having me smack my nipples 100 times with a hairbrush if i didn't do 2 research items, a dailey journal entry, list every thing i did that day and it was to be every thing, write a saying about him being the master and me being the slave and i was to obey and please him. It just seemed to be pointless i did not mind and was willing to do until mu son came home i figured that during that 2 weeks i could have a break to spend time with him. He said no he came before my sons. so now he does not have any place in my life. i am back to my old name and profile

patina

(in reply to patina)

Post #: 67

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 7:11:12 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TabrisMaceth

I could just reiterate what most everyone else has been saying, but just to be slightly original:

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

When I first started talking to Michael on the phone and my offspring would interrupt for whatever reason, I would apologize for the interruption (as a common courtesy). His reaction the very first time this happened? "I don't want you to EVER apologize for attending to your kids. They come first, PERIOD. Besides, I love listening to you be Mommy. It makes me feel closer to you."

GAWH! That is just too sweet!

-Tabris

It really is. You guys have no idea just how sweet this man truly is..

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to TabrisMaceth)

Post #: 68

RE: FAMILY - 10/11/2008 9:13:51 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

Hi, enlightenedFK----
It seems from your original post that you already know something is askew.
I don't have kids but I would say family first, especially if there are no particular commitments with this relationship.
Additionally, you glossed over the dishonesty of the Dom about his level of sadism; that strikes me as important as well.
Davan

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 69

RE: FAMILY - 10/12/2008 9:01:09 AM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Hi, enlightenedFK----
It seems from your original post that you already know something is askew.
I don't have kids but I would say family first, especially if there are no particular commitments with this relationship.
Additionally, you glossed over the dishonesty of the Dom about his level of sadism; that strikes me as important as well.
Davan

I was begning to suspect he was not as he said he was. When i asked him if he was a sadist he said NO but then he started to really have me punish myself for every little infraction to the point i had bruises on my breasts constantly. I am not into pain but wanted to please him, so was willing to do things that hurt to do so. When i told him about the bruises he was happy and wanted pic of them. He then started talking how the pic made him hard and how he would be punishing me when i moved in with him. With other men that had tried to get me to do these things before i had just walked away, but this guy stirred something in me i had never experienced it before. I mistakenly stayed around for more. But when he tried to interfer with my sons that was a big mistake. My sons are my life to me. That broke any connection right there. i realized he was an idoit and have blocked and refuse to talk to him since. i have returned to my old profile and will state in it that i left him. i am so submissive i give in to Doms when i should not. i am finally learning i do not have to that i can say no, you are not my master yet so i do not have to obey you. A real--true-- master would not push a girl into obeying before they met and trust was established. i just get caught up in the chatting and let them over run me.

i just have lousy judgement in people. i am too trusting. i trust by the way i am which is honest, caring, sensitive, giving and truthful. i never seem to learn that the majority of people are dishonest, manipulative, vindictive, selfish, spiteful and mean spirited. Maybe one day i will.

patina

_____________________________

a diamond in the rough

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 70

RE: FAMILY - 10/12/2008 11:55:59 AM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Very good choice patina! I will say though if he does not have children himself, it may be something he just can't understand. That has caused the end of several potential relationships for me. Make me have to choose and you give me no choice.

From a dominant point of view, i feel it is part of my job to continue to help my pet be the best person as a whole that he can be. Encouraging him to teh great dad that he is is just a part of that. He makes me proud every time he makes the "right choice". Find a Master that brings out the best in you. Hugs

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be

(in reply to patina)

Post #: 71

RE: FAMILY - 10/12/2008 12:52:44 PM

sleeper798

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/10/2008
Status: offline

Patina,

Good for you! Thanks for posting an update. I wasn't going to add to the thread, as you seemed to have vanished, but I want to say that I hope you keep moving in the direction you are going. I am a novice submissive myself, but not a novice human being, so I will add that as I see it, the value of your submission is only measured by the value you place on yourself. I am lucky to have a wonderful Master who made it clear from day one that the one thing that will always take priority over my role as his slave is my role as a mother. (And likewise for his role as Master and father.) Being submissive does not mean not having boundaries, so please don't let others set those for you. It sounds like you realize this, yourself. I have found a lot of insight in reading books (not just online) about submission and power exchange. It has made me realize that my Master and i have what we consider a very special M/s relationship, because we are nearly equals in most other aspects of our lives. (Professionally, family, age, hobbies, etc.) Just something I have considered in looking at what submission means to me.

Sleeper

(in reply to patina)

Post #: 72

RE: FAMILY - 10/12/2008 1:51:14 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Patina is a nice name...you shouldn't go changing account for every Dom, Dick and Harry. It also makes things a little less confusing, since I think people were expecting a reply from the other account and might still think things are in a state of turmoil.

(in reply to sleeper798)

Post #: 73

RE: FAMILY - 10/12/2008 2:35:03 PM

tweedydaddy

Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

That's what I do when someone threatens my relationship with one of my children, I put the question out to a bunch of BDSM people I don't know anything about.
Online relationships help to ease loneliness, but they are based on fantasy, if a fantasy does anything other than make you happy, you drop it.
oh dearie dearie me.

(in reply to enlightenedFK)

Post #: 74

RE: FAMILY - 10/13/2008 12:13:33 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

YAY!!!

GOOD FOR YOU!!!

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to patina)

Post #: 75

RE: FAMILY - 10/13/2008 5:34:53 AM

SultryMomma

Posts: 48
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline

Whenever I have had another submissive, besides my husband, I have always told them, no matter what.....family, and school/work always come first. In my eyes, those things are too important.

SM
(Kris)

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 76

RE: FAMILY - 10/13/2008 7:11:38 PM

MAMandSlave

Posts: 110
Joined: 8/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: MAMandSlave

You don't say how old your son is. If he is young enough to need his mother, ie below 18, then it is important to prioratize him. However if he is an adult, and your relationship with your master is your priority, then follow his directions. Your master is asking you to choose between him and your family. Time to make a choice.

How do you get that? I have family and my Master. I have never had to choose between one or the other. This is her son home and in the military. No matter his age her time is limited with him and he is her son. Why would a caring Master ask her to choose?

I got that from this quote "but my youngest son who is in the military is home on leave for 2 weeks. He informed me i was to still not lessen the amount of attention i am giving to him and to the training he is instiling in me. This means my i get little actual quality time with my son. "
this is a request fromt the master for her to prioratize him over spending time with her son, unless I misunderstood the OP.
There is nothing in what the OP wrote to suggest that the master is caring. That is why she has a choice to make.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 77

RE: FAMILY - 10/14/2008 5:17:41 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

Some things in life are sacred and as you can see here defiling such things is never acceptable.

One of those things is the relationship between parent and child or even the basic family unit. It's sacred. Off limits.

IMHO not even acknowledging the offspring of someone you claim to have a relationship with, irrespective of whether it's online or real time, is at best rude and at worst inhuman.

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(in reply to patina)

Post #: 78

RE: FAMILY - 10/14/2008 8:39:00 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

One of the first things my Sir told me when i moved in with him , was that he would never embarass or interfere with my adult kids and me. and he hasn't. inspite of some temptations.

This was one of the things he said that made me trust and love him so fast. How could i not trust a man who had obviously thought so much about his and my role in our lives. It gave me a real sense of his maturity level (very high) and it was one i was comfortable with.

it was one of the things that proved to me that he was "real", like the velveteen rabbit

. He was a bit ragged around the edges, and well lovable.

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 79

RE: FAMILY - 10/14/2008 10:26:47 AM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

ok i didnt read the whole thing. i prolly should have. but i can tell you, when my Daddy comes home in Jan. chances are i wont hardly be talking to another soul, or even want to. that being your son, coming home for a short 14 days, on military leave. do you really wanna guess which way i am gonna say lean?

lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to enlightenedFK)

Post #: 80

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