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RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/11/2008 6:57:34 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Here. I'll settle the question once and for all. The man should pay. Once he pays, he should pay some more. After that, he should pay again. He should still keep paying. He should be picked up by his ankles and shaken until all the loose change comes out of his pockets, along with ancient bits of lint and used mint wrappers. Then he should be forced to take the sofa apart and put his fingers in all the crevices where there are really icky clumps of crumbs from last year's pizza party and large brown stains from spilled Diet Coke in order to find less than a dollar's worth of coinage. Then, he should take this money and buy something - anything - just so that he can pay for it.

To use the modern parlance: I lol'ed.

Personally, I like being able to do nice things like pay for dinners and movies and stuff with Mistress. It's nice to treat somebody you care about, and especially the person you care about the most. Though right now I'm unemployed (and that ends Monday, finally!), and Mistress is paying for our dates and what-not, as soon as I have income I'll be springing for nice stuff too.

Though really, we've already got a situation like the one Tammy Jo was talking about. The concept of "Her money" and "my money" doesn't really jive for us. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm working on establishing credit I wouldn't even have a separate bank account.

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(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 21

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/11/2008 7:07:25 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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Most of the men I've gone out with have been more than happy to pay the tab, and were the type that wouldn't even let me pay if I wanted to. I don't have any expectations of being wined and dined or spoiled. In fact, I'm not comfortable being showered with gifts and treated to a lot of things like some kind of princess. And I don't mind buying stuff to make dinner or purchasing some implements here or there. Having said that, cheap men do turn me off. I was involved with one guy who didn't even take me to lunch or bring a bottle of wine when I made dinner. It was a major turn off, not because I need anyone to buy anything for me, but it seems kind of classless when a man won't part with a dime, especially if he makes good money.

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Post #: 22

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/11/2008 7:20:36 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
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I'm in complete agreement with you. There's something about pinching a penny till it screams that is particularly unattractive. In males or females.

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 23

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/11/2008 8:36:07 PM

MR526

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

For me, at least, when I am first dating a boy/man, I expect that he will pay for our dates. I like feeling taken care of. If someone were to suggest that we go dutch or that we take turns, I would lose interest fairly quickly. I'd like it to be *my* decision when we start trading off. As a relationship progresses past that initial stage, I don't mind picking up some of the costs... but initially, that's the way it is. I do believe in doing nice things for a boy that I'm involved with, presents and etc. If I were involved with someone who was not in a strong financial position, I would expect him to make efforts to find an affordable date... I love home cooking... taco bell down by the lake is fine. I don't have to have fancy, I just expect *him* to take initiative and demonstrate that he wants to impress me. If I were involved with a girl, my gut feeling is I'd wish to treat her like a princess... and initially would treat her. Again, as relationships progressed, I'd expect it to even out some. Yes, I've dated both a guy and a gal at different points. I cannot explain *why* I feel so strongly about this... logically I *get* the case that everyone should be equal, 50/50 we all work etc, but this is what I find desirable in a mate.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 24

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 6:04:50 AM

GreeneGoddess

Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
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When I first met my slave, she was 20 and still in college - I paid for most dates out since she was barely making ends meet. We've since moved in together, and we have a joint household fund, out of which things like dinners out, etc, generally are paid. However, we still both like to "surprise" the other with nights out, etc, that the individual planning will pay for out of her pocket.

When I date male subs these days, they typically pay at the beginning of the relationship. For me, it's part of the courtship process, and also to size him up a bit. If his idea of a "nice meal out" is at a Fridays or some other mass produced low end restaurant....I know that we're not going to be compatible. If he passes muster, he'll eventually be spending time in my home, in my fully furnished playroom, eating food purchased by my household, etc., and the "who pays" curve will smooth out.

(in reply to MR526)

Post #: 25

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 6:12:17 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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Fr for me in the early stages I think that both should offer and the Dom shoul pay, heres why the Dom chooses the place I have been taken to wonderful expensive places that I would never choose to go and then been expected to buy my own drinks (£10 for a single vodka and lemonade) thats bloody cheeky im a student if they wanted me to pay they should have let ME choose where to go, and maccy d's aint that bad.

In a committed relationship it should be as equal as it can be

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(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 26

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 7:31:11 AM

thetammyjo

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

Though really, we've already got a situation like the one Tammy Jo was talking about. The concept of "Her money" and "my money" doesn't really jive for us. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm working on establishing credit I wouldn't even have a separate bank account.

Well, we aren't there yet.

The husband and I own the house, so Fox's 'rent' covers any additional financial burden he places on us by being here plus chores.

When we all three own the house we'll all three contribute to a "family" account where household expensives will be covered. Then we will each have our own accounts as well.

We can't honestly promise to know what will happen tomorrow and I'd hate for any one of us to find ourselves without credit or finances should something negative happen. The husband and I at least have the legal marriage on our side but that just not happening with Fox so we must construct something when the time arises.

i just didn't want folks to misunderstand what is happening to us right now and the future plans.

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(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 27

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 8:36:53 AM

GreeneGoddess

Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Fr for me in the early stages I think that both should offer and the Dom shoul pay, heres why the Dom chooses the place I have been taken to wonderful expensive places that I would never choose to go and then been expected to buy my own drinks (£10 for a single vodka and lemonade) thats bloody cheeky im a student if they wanted me to pay they should have let ME choose where to go, and maccy d's aint that bad.

In a committed relationship it should be as equal as it can be

McD's really is that bad.   ;-)

I think there's a different perspective from both age difference and background difference.    I'm Southern, and was always brought up that men are gentlemen and treat women very well and COURT her.

Also, I'm 40 years old.   My life is "together", and I've worked very hard to get myself here.   I expect if a man wants me to seriously consider him for a relationshp, that his life is "together" as well.   If he can't manage to take a lady out for a nice evening here and there, then....well. Not the one for me.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 28

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 9:21:09 AM

NovelApproach

Posts: 150
Joined: 3/25/2007
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My boy and I are both your stereotypical starving college kids, and while he makes more money than I do, he pays for his apartment and amenities (though I'm there at least four nights out of the week, and he calls it "ours") and his car (and drives me everywhere in it), so we have roughly the same amount of money in our pockets after the bills are paid.

We usually go dutch on everything occasionally treating each other as a surprise, but this past week I had a larger paycheck than usual and he had some unexpected expenses. As a result, I payed for most of our purchases and meals, and a lot of "Mistress, may I please...?" was heard. It was nice, actually. I love being able to take care of my boy, and he liked not worrying about money - in fact, we're now discussing the possibility of him handing over his paycheck every week and having me handle our finances. Kitty joked it would be half financial domination, and half me being his "sugar daddy."

To be completely honest, if I made more money I'd love to be able to take care of everything, and Kitty sort of wants to be a stay-at-home dad someday.

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Post #: 29

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 9:48:00 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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Typically, my Darling and I choose the places that we meet people. Because we are sensitive to the realization that some of the places we choose are on the expensive side (we are both food sybarites), we often 'dutch' first meetings. I prefer that there not be a huge obligation on either side for that first meeting. I want the chance to evaluate a potential s-type, and have hir evaluate us, without that feeling that, because this was a good meal, in a nice restaurant, that -means- something about the prospective person's chances. (It -does- mean something.. it means that we like -good- food, well prepared, and where the service is attentive, gracious, but not 'leering over your shoulder' oppressive... and it means we're -damned- picky!).

On future outings, picking up the tab is negotiated like everything else. If a gentleman or gentlewoman servant has the resources to provide a meal, I will gladly accept -- on the other hand, we have had the great fortune of having some young, just-getting-started-in-the-world servants, and I would not expect them to pick up the tab at one of our preferred places. Encouraging a servant to fiscal irresponsibility just to get a fancy meal out seems counterproductive to me, so that's how I handle the decision process.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 10/12/2008 9:49:02 AM >

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Post #: 30

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 10:23:25 AM

DommeKeliDallas

Posts: 311
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

The man! ALWAYS!
...and he will ask...if he isn't a cheap.@#%*.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 31

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 11:09:31 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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For me, there's still a faint feeling that the man pays on the first date. I'd do that unless there was a hint that a woman wanted to go halves. If she wanted to pay for all of it, then I'd go along with that. I'd try to return the favour later.

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Post #: 32

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 1:55:14 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Depends on the situation. I normally try to keep it fairly even and believe in a give and take balance. If a sub is coming just to have a session with me, he pays for his travel, hotel and my dinner. He gets a service in return for his efforts.

If it is an on going relationship... when he comes and pays for a hotel room, I buy his dinner. With my Westie, he has become acquainted with and accepted by my family. He gets to sleep on the sofa and eat with the family. Sometimes he buys me things. Sometimes I buy him things. No biggy.

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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 33

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 2:02:28 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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With my Westie, he has become acquainted with and accepted by my family. He gets to sleep on the sofa and eat with the family. Sometimes he buys me things. Sometimes I buy him things. No biggy.

I think after all that hospitality towards Westie, Ms Starlett, you at least deserve a biggy at the end of it.

[Sorry. Feeble, I know, but I couldn't resist.]

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(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 34

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 2:07:28 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

With my Westie, he has become acquainted with and accepted by my family. He gets to sleep on the sofa and eat with the family. Sometimes he buys me things. Sometimes I buy him things. No biggy.

I think after all that hospitality towards Westie, Ms Starlett, you at least deserve a biggy at the end of it.

[Sorry. Feeble, I know, but I couldn't resist.]

Biggy Fries, or a Biggy Drink..? it matters, you know. *winks*

CF

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 35

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 2:13:40 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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Are you in the US, CF? No burger joint here in the UK would dare describe a drink or fries as a "biggy". That would get as many sniggers as the preview of "Free Willie" did when it first got shown at cinemas (especially from the females in the audiences, natch).

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Post #: 36

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 2:20:01 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Are you in the US, CF? No burger joint here in the UK would dare describe a drink or fries as a "biggy". That would get as many sniggers as the preview of "Free Willie" did when it first got shown at cinemas (especially from the females in the audiences, natch).

Yes, Wendy's in the US has "biggie" fries and drinks. *chuckles* I always get a hoot out of that... and James' Coney Island's "Super Coney--just the way you like it!" *LOL*

CF

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 37

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 2:21:29 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Yep... we have Biggy drinks and Biggy fries. I always love "Would you like to super size that?" *snicker* If only that worked with sub boys. *sigh*

My Westie is big enough in the correct places to keep me happy and that's all he needs.... or that you need to know about.

---------

Now my TOY MAKER tends to get a little 'greedy' ... but he's also more 'needy'. He eats at my house so often I think I should claim him on my taxes. *sigh* BUT - he does a lot of work around the house for me, fixes my car, helps my hubby with all his little projects. Guess feeding him isn't so bad.

< Message edited by MsStarlett -- 10/12/2008 2:23:08 PM >

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 38

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 3:39:16 PM

HandSolo

Posts: 323
Joined: 11/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
That would get as many sniggers as the preview of "Free Willie" did when it first got shown at cinemas (especially from the females in the audiences, natch).

The entendre is just as double here. I have no idea why they titled the movie so, unless maybe to provide John Pinette with material.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfDSZkQvuXU

Jump to 3:23 if you're short on time.

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I plan on leaving this world the way I came in: naked, screaming and by accident.

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Post #: 39

RE: Who Should Pay?? - 10/12/2008 3:48:14 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

*giggle*

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to HandSolo)

Post #: 40

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