quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

good manners say you should respond, even if with a "Sorry, I am not interested in you."

Yeah, and let's review the responses that are possible when submissives take your advice:

You aren't real
Please meet me for coffee
Let's yahoo, you don't know what you are missing
You are a bitch
Come on, talk to me, here's my phone number:  xxx xxx xxxx
A true sub would know her place, you are fake

also add (and these are actual responses i've received when politely responding no not interested):
you're so fat that i wasn't really interested in you
BDSM is for the beautiful people only and you're so f-ing ugly
please tell me why ....i feel we're so compatible and right ...give me a reason why ...i love you so much....
I AM DOM DO AS I SAY
why?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To Hand: There is no societal norm mandating a response to an email/message.

I'll put this inline so you can see it better...Emails as you know are just another form of communication and their are plenty of set ways in society on how a "proper" way to respond is..Kind of like someone talking to you in person and asking a question yet you do not respond? Why is it different if a stranger on a buss or at the mall in line asks that question versus someone online? Isn't it still rude to not answer them? I guess you could ignore someone in a convenience store line but I most likely wouldn't if they were being polite.

I'm off to watch a movie..I'll read up later.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I had to go and check out your profile because oh my goodness, you are so logical.  :)  I almost swooned at the comment of projected rudeness.
I don't know if you have a mate, but who ever that may be should count themselves lucky.
Kyst

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ORIGINAL:KatyLied

He's missing with boat with the admittance of no available penis pics.    

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To Hand: There is no societal norm mandating a response to an email/message.

I'll put this inline so you can see it better...Emails as you know are just another form of communication and their are plenty of set ways in society on how a "proper" way to respond is..Kind of like someone talking to you in person and asking a question yet you do not respond? Why is it different if a stranger on a buss or at the mall in line asks that question versus someone online? Isn't it still rude to not answer them? I guess you could ignore someone in a convenience store line but I most likely wouldn't if they were being polite.

I'm off to watch a movie..I'll read up later.

I would agree if the stranger is asking you "What time is it?" or "How do I get to Market Street from here?".   But not if the stranger is asking "Will you be my slave and grovel at my feet?" or even "Will you go out with me?".

quote:

ORIGINAL: auburnvixen

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnashsLiLwench

omg lmao.  here is the best part of this whole thing.  the OP starts this thread and then of course never comes back, which who can blame him?  i am sure it would be less painful trying to jack off a bob cat with a fistful of thumb tacks then come back here and have your rear end handed to you by a bunch of "fake subs and slaves" lol but i got nosey and decided to read his profile and here is the best line ever.  .........................................If you are interested, contact me here with your contact info, picture and a list of your desires,needs and past experience, if any. I will get back to you if i deem you correct for my needs and desires.

hmmmm gotta love the people who will only drive on one way streets

Hey, I have an idea! Let's all us subs email the OP and see if he responds!

Here's my answer to him:

WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? BECAUSE YOU'RE SHOUTING AND THAT'S NOT POLITE!!!

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To Hand: There is no societal norm mandating a response to an email/message.

I'll put this inline so you can see it better...Emails as you know are just another form of communication and their are plenty of set ways in society on how a "proper" way to respond is..Kind of like someone talking to you in person and asking a question yet you do not respond? Why is it different if a stranger on a buss or at the mall in line asks that question versus someone online? Isn't it still rude to not answer them? I guess you could ignore someone in a convenience store line but I most likely wouldn't if they were being polite.

I'm off to watch a movie..I'll read up later.

I would agree if the stranger is asking you "What time is it?" or "How do I get to Market Street from here?".   But not if the stranger is asking "Will you be my slave and grovel at my feet?" or even "Will you go out with me?".

I might see the first of those responses as rude but it still doesn't kill anyone to say no thanks. The second one is harmless..my whole "problem" with not responding is based on first replies and then on polite replies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To Hand: There is no societal norm mandating a response to an email/message.

I'll put this inline so you can see it better...Emails as you know are just another form of communication and their are plenty of set ways in society on how a "proper" way to respond is..Kind of like someone talking to you in person and asking a question yet you do not respond? Why is it different if a stranger on a buss or at the mall in line asks that question versus someone online? Isn't it still rude to not answer them? I guess you could ignore someone in a convenience store line but I most likely wouldn't if they were being polite.

I'm off to watch a movie..I'll read up later.

There are two, enormous differences.

1. An email is not analogous to talking to someone in person. It is, at best, analogous to a voicemail. You can certainly ignore an incoming phone call from a stranger. You can review a voicemail at a more convenient time, or you can delete without listening. You can call back, or not. The caller will not draw offense from an unreturned, unsolicited call, because he bears no illusion that he is owed one. If he does, he may be offended, not because you are imploite, but because his expectations are at odds with reality. More accurately, however, online messaging is a unique mode of communication, no more similar to a face to face conversation than it is to a phone call, or skywriting.

2. Based on #1: there is no automatic expectation of  a response to an email from an unknown person, for any reason. The Internet, is (as I mentioned) extremely fast paced, and largely anonymous. The pace and impersonality require a different etiquette than other, more intimate modes of communication. An email, a BBS post, a PM, is arguably more closely related to writing a message on the wall than any other form of communication. There certainly is an expectation of a response to a face to face conversation, with very few exceptions, regarding outrageous behavior by the contacting party. As has been mentioned repeatedly, no response, is a response.

2 1/2. In the olden days of personal ads in newspapers, it was not uncommon for a message to go unreturned. The reasons were the same as those cited in this thread: there is no need to enter into a potential argument with someone who will not be considered for a meeting. To do so opens up the ad poster to nothing more than needless abuse. The unreturned calls were accepted etiquette.

Again, the Cliff's Notes version of my responses here: you are offended (or "put off," if "offended" is too strong a term) not by rudeness, but by your mis-reading of the behavior of others as rudeness.

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ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To Hand: There is no societal norm mandating a response to an email/message.

I'll put this inline so you can see it better...Emails as you know are just another form of communication and their are plenty of set ways in society on how a "proper" way to respond is..Kind of like someone talking to you in person and asking a question yet you do not respond? Why is it different if a stranger on a buss or at the mall in line asks that question versus someone online? Isn't it still rude to not answer them? I guess you could ignore someone in a convenience store line but I most likely wouldn't if they were being polite.

I'm off to watch a movie..I'll read up later.

I would agree if the stranger is asking you "What time is it?" or "How do I get to Market Street from here?".   But not if the stranger is asking "Will you be my slave and grovel at my feet?" or even "Will you go out with me?".

I might see the first of those responses as rude but it still doesn't kill anyone to say no thanks. The second one is harmless..my whole "problem" with not responding is based on first replies and then on polite replies.

Sure it wouldn't kill them to say no thanks, but that doesn't make it rude to NOT respond to those types of requests (where as I would concede it would be rude not to tell someone what time it is or give them directions if they're lost).

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To Hand: There is no societal norm mandating a response to an email/message.

I'll put this inline so you can see it better...Emails as you know are just another form of communication and their are plenty of set ways in society on how a "proper" way to respond is..Kind of like someone talking to you in person and asking a question yet you do not respond? Why is it different if a stranger on a buss or at the mall in line asks that question versus someone online? Isn't it still rude to not answer them? I guess you could ignore someone in a convenience store line but I most likely wouldn't if they were being polite.

I'm off to watch a movie..I'll read up later.

I would agree if the stranger is asking you "What time is it?" or "How do I get to Market Street from here?".   But not if the stranger is asking "Will you be my slave and grovel at my feet?" or even "Will you go out with me?".

I might see the first of those responses as rude but it still doesn't kill anyone to say no thanks. The second one is harmless..my whole "problem" with not responding is based on first replies and then on polite replies.

Sure it wouldn't kill them to say no thanks, but that doesn't make it rude to NOT respond to those types of requests (where as I would concede it would be rude not to tell someone what time it is or give them directions if they're lost).

What's the difference in telling someone the time and telling someone no thanks your not interested? Afraid to hurt their feelings? Is it that difficult?

Maybe your afraid of the response you might get like some others have stated?

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ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To Hand: There is no societal norm mandating a response to an email/message.

I'll put this inline so you can see it better...Emails as you know are just another form of communication and their are plenty of set ways in society on how a "proper" way to respond is..Kind of like someone talking to you in person and asking a question yet you do not respond? Why is it different if a stranger on a buss or at the mall in line asks that question versus someone online? Isn't it still rude to not answer them? I guess you could ignore someone in a convenience store line but I most likely wouldn't if they were being polite.

I'm off to watch a movie..I'll read up later.

I would agree if the stranger is asking you "What time is it?" or "How do I get to Market Street from here?".   But not if the stranger is asking "Will you be my slave and grovel at my feet?" or even "Will you go out with me?".

I might see the first of those responses as rude but it still doesn't kill anyone to say no thanks. The second one is harmless..my whole "problem" with not responding is based on first replies and then on polite replies.

Sure it wouldn't kill them to say no thanks, but that doesn't make it rude to NOT respond to those types of requests (where as I would concede it would be rude not to tell someone what time it is or give them directions if they're lost).

What's the difference in telling someone the time and telling someone no thanks your not interested? Afraid to hurt their feelings? Is it that difficult?

Maybe your afraid of the response you might get like some others have stated?

I could care less about THEIR response, I simple refuse to grant every stranger that crosses my path the right to ask me personal questions and requests, and to impinge on my time to reply to those personal questions and requests. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSickFck
I could care less about THEIR response, I simple refuse to grant every stranger that crosses my path the right to ask me personal questions and requests, and to impinge on my time to reply to those personal questions and requests. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I guess we are talking about two different things then. Ive been talking about a nice first email being responded to. Even if it's just to say "I would rather not" "I'm not interested" and so on.

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I guess we are talking about two different things then. Ive been talking about a nice first email being responded to. Even if it's just to say "I would rather not" "I'm not interested" and so on.

I'm actually impressed (sort of) that you've managed to repeat the same thing over and over for the last 13 pages, no matter who presents an alternative opinion.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

Your assuming I'm mis-reading something and I don't think it's the case.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Your dealing with Human Beings at the end of those emails..

If they send a friendly email I think as Human Beings they ought to get some kind of reply. In my business and throughout life period I've had to deal with just that attitude. I'll call someone and they'll never reply for I'm sure are some of the same reason's that come with most non replies. I've realized that it's just the way things are and will always pursue a deal whether or not I'm selling the item or trying to buy it. I've become accustomed to this type of behavior so it doesn't bother me like you might think.. it does however show me something about society in general and about particular people

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I think what your doing is trying to break down different types of communication and putting(in a sense justifying bad behavior) what you think are okay ways to respond to them because of what some people do (or maybe what most do)and what I'm saying is it might be better to treat those emails as if you were standing right there..because in the end they are...guess what? people.Full Stop.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I guess we are talking about two different things then. Ive been talking about a nice first email being responded to. Even if it's just to say "I would rather not" "I'm not interested" and so on.

I'm actually impressed (sort of) that you've managed to repeat the same thing over and over for the last 13 pages, no matter who presents an alternative opinion.

It's a talent..I'm actually impressed you were able to pick up on that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I guess we are talking about two different things then. Ive been talking about a nice first email being responded to. Even if it's just to say "I would rather not" "I'm not interested" and so on.

I'm actually impressed (sort of) that you've managed to repeat the same thing over and over for the last 13 pages, no matter who presents an alternative opinion.

It's a talent..I'm actually impressed you were able to pick up on that.

Does that forgive my rudeness?

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Your assuming I'm mis-reading something and I don't think it's the case.

Yet the fact remains that nobody but you thinks the way you do on the topic. You believe people are being rude, who, fully acknowledging the circumstances of their behavior, do not believe themselves rude. Somebody is definitely misreading. I don't think it is everybody but you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Your dealing with Human Beings at the end of those emails..

If they send a friendly email I think as Human Beings they ought to get some kind of reply. In my business and throughout life period I've had to deal with just that attitude. I'll call someone and they'll never reply for I'm sure are some of the same reason's that come with most non replies. I've realized that it's just the way things are and will always pursue a deal whether or not I'm selling the item or trying to buy it. I've become accustomed to this type of behavior so it doesn't bother me like you might think.. it does however show me something about society in general and about particular people

You also know full well you do not return every call you receive. You do not hold the line for this important message. You don't call back campaigns to let them know if they can expect your support on the 4th. They don't expect you to. Hence, not returning the call is not impolite.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I think what your doing is trying to break down different types of communication and putting(in a sense justifying bad behavior) what you think are okay ways to respond to them because of what some people do (or maybe what most do)and what I'm saying is it might be better to treat those emails as if you were standing right there..because in the end they are...guess what? people.Full Stop.

What I am actually doing is explaining what is currently used as a standard of behavior, to allow efficient online communication among interested parties. It is impossible to communicate with 1000 people the way you do with one person, so the accepted standard of behavior must adapt. Demurring with a "polite" email to somebody who understands the "no response is a response" standard actually could theoretically be considered rude: seeing the returned message gets the recipient's hopes up to no end, and reading the message uses time fruitlessly. If you want to imagine I am justifying misbehavior, fine. If you want to pretend that all forms of communication use the same etiquette, fine. And if you want to be offended by perfectly acceptable behavior, fine. I can't make you learn Internet etiquette, I can only explain it.