quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
...put your big boy helmet on and pedal right on past.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I'm not your Darling and I'm beyond being a boy so don't talk down to me.
Oh you have every right to think what you want but I'm telling you that I think the only reason your saying anything is cause you want to jump on that bandwagon for the attack..The condescending tone you use tells me just that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
I'ts been awhile since I've emailed someone on CM so I'd have to check if I've even done it for more than to comment on their profile or to ask a simple question but i'm not looking for anyone under this profile. If you see it rude so be it but i have a feeling your just saying it cause you want to be a  pain..such is life.

 *is really starting to feel left out with no emails in our inbox from certain people*

 
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Icarys)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Icarys.. I've gotten polite emails.. responded with a thanks, but I'm not interested... and in return have received variations of "your a fat pig/a man/a fake/etc that is worthless/a fucking cunt/ etc"

why should I deal with that?

No response IS a response. 

Ya know..I've had that as well but flipped and tailored for a Dom lol. I'm a big guy, I can deal. I'd say grow a thicker skin instead of not dealing with it maybe.

Rude is rude no matter the excuse. If your okay with that, it doesn't bother me. I could see someone who has a Master and isn't allowed.

No response IS a RUDE response.

 
Greetings Icarys.
Although I am using the back of this post to respond, this isn't specifically to yourself - but also to the number of people who responded to your ideas - plus I get to use GT's post as well, so it's win-win for me.
Yeah, and this is a long winded one - grab coffee - or a brandy depending on your tipple.  Or if you are of a delicate constitution, really - pass this one post by.
 
No response is a rude response.  I absolutely agree with this.  So far, I have seen people post about how, if they respond with a 'no thanks not looking' or 'no thanks - already in a relationship' then they get rude responses of 'fat cow' or 'whore' or 'you must be a man'.
 
Not once in my entire time on CM have I ever had that.  Not once in my time now having a joint profile with Darcy, have we had such a response.  Yet, I have responded quite frankly and bluntly to requests of further contact - explaining that no I am not a female dominant and that no, we are not looking and that people should read our profile.  Not once have we, or I ever had a negative mail back.  We/I have had apologies.  We/I have had 'I didn't know' or even, 'Best wishes then'.  But never insults or attacks.
 
So I have to question myself - and yes I know some of my dearest friends have posted they get yucky mails but I have never been a person to play favourites, and those that are my friends know that - what are people writing, or how are they writing to get such shitty responses?  What are people doing or projecting to get such negative feedback?
 
Everything has a cause and an effect. People like to blame and accuse others for problems and issues that occur.  Very few will say, hey - I might be doing something to be getting this - what is it?  And because I am, I have to accept that sometimes, those negative responses are all cool.
 
I am pretty sure- no strike that - I know that some people do not like what I write or what I say either here on CM(which is an easy example) or in real life.  But it's ok for me, it's all cool.  I know I am brutely honest for myself, I know I am blunt and I know that some people see it as being condecending.  I am OK with that.  It is who I am and what I do.
What I find extremely - confusing? - well I don't know if that is the correct wording, but it's the best I can come up with right now - that for all the support I have and the whole, 'your post really hit the spot' etc etc and the 'wow - you told it like it is kudos' - or 'oh your really look past the box, you have such empathy' that the moment someone gets my 'honesty' on a personal level on here, suddenly I am condecending or mean and unfeeling and I get the 'wow- didn't expect that from you to me' or 'wow - that was harsh and you just don't understand me'.  But the thing is - it's not about 'knowing'or'understanding' people - it's about the way you project yourself.  And sometimes that can be good or bad, but either way - don't bother posting or responding to emails if you are not a big enough boy or girl to take the rough with the smooth.
Accept the fact that no response is a response and it IS a RUDE one and get over it.  Trying to conteract a whining and ranting post with whining or ranting about how hard done by you are with the yucky mails you keep getting - well frankly - for any other action, people would be advising - repeating patterns? then look inwards and at what you are doing to encourage and perpetuate this and accept that you are part of your own problems.  Yes, you have to deal with it - and then move on.  Being touched by negativity in a negative way is a form of submission - you are giving in to the person insulting you - you are allowing them power over you.  Which if that's your think - rocks and go with it.  But if it's not?  Well, it's your own 'fault' hey - because you are not dealing and letting go.  When you let go, you don't have to worry about all that shitty email and your life can pretty much rock.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Icarys)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

List the post numbers, as I saw nobody who is saying what you are, to the extent that you are. At best, a general poll would clearly demonstrate my point. I can speak confidently on the matter, because I draw my reading of Internet etiquette from actually observing what is considered acceptable behavior by the overwhelming majority, and by reading primers on expected norms of behavior. I am quite certain you have not, partly because you have stated as much.

Thing is, posts like this one bring out the worst in many people.  You get the piss takers, and then you get the complainers and hypocrites and you then get the people who just don't think life is fair.  Oh and don't forget the droolers - you know the ones - that sit on the fringe making one sentance comments and not really contributing to the thread but simply enjoy provoking and sticking the pitchforks in now and them.  It is a witch hunt, don't be fooled that it isn't - most threads are, particularly when started by a non regular.  It just depends what side of the stocks you decide to sit.
 
It's the Jesus syndrome.  You know - denial and non association.
 
Pull all them posts out and this thread would only be about six or so pages long and not the ridiculous amount it is now.  But people like a car crash.  They like to stare.  Some people even try and make themselves part of it.  That is why, when there is an accident say on the road, that another one usually happens somewhere along the way - because of the staring and the need to get involved.
 
Human beings are all pretty sick really.  Just few humans like to self admit it.
Nonchalancy is the new cool.
 
the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
 
No response is a rude response.  I absolutely agree with this.  So far, I have seen people post about how, if they respond with a 'no thanks not looking' or 'no thanks - already in a relationship' then they get rude responses of 'fat cow' or 'whore' or 'you must be a man'.
 
Not once in my entire time on CM have I ever had that.  Not once in my time now having a joint profile with Darcy, have we had such a response.  Yet, I have responded quite frankly and bluntly to requests of further contact - explaining that no I am not a female dominant and that no, we are not looking and that people should read our profile.  Not once have we, or I ever had a negative mail back.  We/I have had apologies.  We/I have had 'I didn't know' or even, 'Best wishes then'.  But never insults or attacks.

Lucky!

I get very little C-mail, and I reply to very little of the ones I get. Why? Because, even if they might be extremely polite, some of them do not know how to read. So when someone asks me if I am gay, I generally don't reply. No offense to gays.

I have replied to one or two such messages(which are polite). And, maybe I am just unlucky, but the replies I got back were always worthy of the "Which idiots write you?" thread in the off-topic forum. Its amusing, but it gets old after a while.

So, I agree with .dark. I am being rude, I guess, but really, I can't help it. One can do with less potential insults  

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I find it cool when people can accept that they might be rude - even if it is in misunderstanding. 

quote:

What are people doing or projecting to get such negative feedback?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAuthoritarian

Why you may think it is rude the reality is they do not "owe" anyone a reply. Just because the phone rings, does not mean someone must answer. Just because there is a knock on the door does not mean someone must open the door. They may in fact think it is rude that you "expect" any response. Then is is always the, "if they do not respond then that is your answer".
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Lady I'm talking simply about a first reply..

Dude, I'm telling you why we don't bother with the first reply.  It's rarely worth it.

You get what you put out comes to mind.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

hello
when you write to a true slave/submissve you will get an answer back that is all. i had one i spoke to ffor three years we meant and it was so nice but as time went on e became crazy acting and lose the slave part of him and began to talk of turning me in his slave i know many slave like bondage but he want to be tape his mouth put a hood on and then want to be place in a box and left for days . i donot have funerals he would had passed on the way he wanted to be tidie and people who would just died so he has to go and i let him go i can tie and whip spank, but not boxes

i aprove of this message lol

mons

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

List the post numbers, as I saw nobody who is saying what you are, to the extent that you are. At best, a general poll would clearly demonstrate my point. I can speak confidently on the matter, because I draw my reading of Internet etiquette from actually observing what is considered acceptable behavior by the overwhelming majority, and by reading primers on expected norms of behavior. I am quite certain you have not, partly because you have stated as much.

Yeah well, you can't go by post numbers hunni, bubble busted.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

List the post numbers, as I saw nobody who is saying what you are, to the extent that you are. At best, a general poll would clearly demonstrate my point. I can speak confidently on the matter, because I draw my reading of Internet etiquette from actually observing what is considered acceptable behavior by the overwhelming majority, and by reading primers on expected norms of behavior. I am quite certain you have not, partly because you have stated as much.

Yeah well, you can't go by post numbers hunni, bubble busted.

I don't need to go by the post numbers. I posted a link to a Google search on "internet dating etiquette." Go ahead and browse if you like. There are at least a dozen articles by self-proclaimed experts, and all but one, from 1999, and another, aimed particularly at over-40 women, advise that a no-response is equivalent to "thanks but no thanks," and is accepted protocol.

I dug further. There were a number of threads on various BBS in those results. I scanned through them, to get a rough tabulation of the opinions on the matter. Regardless of the degree of hysteria/acrimony of the thread, the opinions fell at least 3:1 in favor of "no response," and that was granting a generous definition of pro-response posts.

More interestingly, I noted, just as I had supposed, that there were, in fact, people who preferred to get a "no response" to a "no thanks," and even some who were irritated by a "no thanks." In fact, there were nearly as many who preferred to receive no response as those who found a no response rude.

Putting aside one's preconceptions and personal preferences on the matter, there is no way I can conclude anything but that the "no response" is the standard demurral, and that sending a "no thanks" is nearly as likely to offend as a pocket veto is.

 
And I am comfortable being rude.  If I have to be.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to HandSolo)