RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (Full Version)

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Lynnxz -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 10:11:15 PM)

I am lazy.

I do not reply.

If it hurts your little feelers, put your big boy helmet on and pedal right on past.




RichieB -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 10:58:08 PM)

Holy Shit!!!! 19 pages in one day. LOL




NuevaVida -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 11:20:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
...put your big boy helmet on and pedal right on past.



OK I'm definitely going to have to use this at the office! Hilarious!




susie -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 12:19:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I'm not your Darling and I'm beyond being a boy so don't talk down to me.
Oh you have every right to think what you want but I'm telling you that I think the only reason your saying anything is cause you want to jump on that bandwagon for the attack..The condescending tone you use tells me just that.



I went to bed and missed your delightful response. I can assure you that I said what I said because (the word is because and not cause) I find the idea of someone hidding behind no profile rude.

As for talking down to you, I talk to people as I decide not as you or anyone else tells me to. You have done nothing to inspire me to show you any respect so live with it.




RCdc -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 12:57:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
I'ts been awhile since I've emailed someone on CM so I'd have to check if I've even done it for more than to comment on their profile or to ask a simple question but i'm not looking for anyone under this profile. If you see it rude so be it but i have a feeling your just saying it cause you want to be a  pain..such is life.



 *is really starting to feel left out with no emails in our inbox from certain people*[&o]
[;)]
 
the.dark.




mons -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 1:21:59 AM)

hello
when you write to a true slave/submissve you will get an answer back that is all. i had one i spoke to ffor three years we meant and it was so nice but as time went on e became crazy acting and lose the slave part of him and began to talk of turning me in his slave i know many slave like bondage but he want to be tape his mouth put a hood on and then want to be place in a box and left for days . i donot have funerals he would had passed on the way he wanted to be tidie and people who would just died so he has to go and i let him go i can tie and whip spank, but not boxes

i aprove of this message lol

mons




RCdc -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 1:32:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Icarys.. I've gotten polite emails.. responded with a thanks, but I'm not interested... and in return have received variations of "your a fat pig/a man/a fake/etc that is worthless/a fucking cunt/ etc"

why should I deal with that?

No response IS a response. 

Ya know..I've had that as well but flipped and tailored for a Dom lol. I'm a big guy, I can deal. I'd say grow a thicker skin instead of not dealing with it maybe.

Rude is rude no matter the excuse. If your okay with that, it doesn't bother me. I could see someone who has a Master and isn't allowed.

No response IS a RUDE response.



By the fuck, this post moved on a bit.
 
Greetings Icarys.
Although I am using the back of this post to respond, this isn't specifically to yourself - but also to the number of people who responded to your ideas - plus I get to use GT's post as well, so it's win-win for me.[:D]
Yeah, and this is a long winded one - grab coffee - or a brandy depending on your tipple.  Or if you are of a delicate constitution, really - pass this one post by.[;)]
 
No response is a rude response.  I absolutely agree with this.  So far, I have seen people post about how, if they respond with a 'no thanks not looking' or 'no thanks - already in a relationship' then they get rude responses of 'fat cow' or 'whore' or 'you must be a man'.
 
Not once in my entire time on CM have I ever had that.  Not once in my time now having a joint profile with Darcy, have we had such a response.  Yet, I have responded quite frankly and bluntly to requests of further contact - explaining that no I am not a female dominant and that no, we are not looking and that people should read our profile.  Not once have we, or I ever had a negative mail back.  We/I have had apologies.  We/I have had 'I didn't know' or even, 'Best wishes then'.  But never insults or attacks.
 
So I have to question myself - and yes I know some of my dearest friends have posted they get yucky mails but I have never been a person to play favourites, and those that are my friends know that - what are people writing, or how are they writing to get such shitty responses?  What are people doing or projecting to get such negative feedback?
 
Everything has a cause and an effect. People like to blame and accuse others for problems and issues that occur.  Very few will say, hey - I might be doing something to be getting this - what is it?  And because I am, I have to accept that sometimes, those negative responses are all cool.
 
I am pretty sure- no strike that - I know that some people do not like what I write or what I say either here on CM(which is an easy example) or in real life.  But it's ok for me, it's all cool.  I know I am brutely honest for myself, I know I am blunt and I know that some people see it as being condecending.  I am OK with that.  It is who I am and what I do.
What I find extremely - confusing? - well I don't know if that is the correct wording, but it's the best I can come up with right now - that for all the support I have and the whole, 'your post really hit the spot' etc etc and the 'wow - you told it like it is kudos' - or 'oh your really look past the box, you have such empathy' that the moment someone gets my 'honesty' on a personal level on here, suddenly I am condecending or mean and unfeeling and I get the 'wow- didn't expect that from you to me' or 'wow - that was harsh and you just don't understand me'.  But the thing is - it's not about 'knowing'or'understanding' people - it's about the way you project yourself.  And sometimes that can be good or bad, but either way - don't bother posting or responding to emails if you are not a big enough boy or girl to take the rough with the smooth.
Accept the fact that no response is a response and it IS a RUDE one and get over it.  Trying to conteract a whining and ranting post with whining or ranting about how hard done by you are with the yucky mails you keep getting - well frankly - for any other action, people would be advising - repeating patterns? then look inwards and at what you are doing to encourage and perpetuate this and accept that you are part of your own problems.  Yes, you have to deal with it - and then move on.  Being touched by negativity in a negative way is a form of submission - you are giving in to the person insulting you - you are allowing them power over you.  Which if that's your think - rocks and go with it.  But if it's not?  Well, it's your own 'fault' hey - because you are not dealing and letting go.  When you let go, you don't have to worry about all that shitty email and your life can pretty much rock.
 
the.dark.




RCdc -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 1:48:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

List the post numbers, as I saw nobody who is saying what you are, to the extent that you are. At best, a general poll would clearly demonstrate my point. I can speak confidently on the matter, because I draw my reading of Internet etiquette from actually observing what is considered acceptable behavior by the overwhelming majority, and by reading primers on expected norms of behavior. I am quite certain you have not, partly because you have stated as much.


Yeah well, you can't go by post numbers hunni, bubble busted.  I agree with Icarys - I just have to sleep sometimes and I have a life and cannot be here 24 hours a day.
Thing is, posts like this one bring out the worst in many people.  You get the piss takers, and then you get the complainers and hypocrites and you then get the people who just don't think life is fair.  Oh and don't forget the droolers - you know the ones - that sit on the fringe making one sentance comments and not really contributing to the thread but simply enjoy provoking and sticking the pitchforks in now and them.  It is a witch hunt, don't be fooled that it isn't - most threads are, particularly when started by a non regular.  It just depends what side of the stocks you decide to sit.
 
It's the Jesus syndrome.  You know - denial and non association.
 
Pull all them posts out and this thread would only be about six or so pages long and not the ridiculous amount it is now.  But people like a car crash.  They like to stare.  Some people even try and make themselves part of it.  That is why, when there is an accident say on the road, that another one usually happens somewhere along the way - because of the staring and the need to get involved.
 
Human beings are all pretty sick really.  Just few humans like to self admit it.[;)]
Nonchalancy is the new cool.[:D]
 
the.dark.




zakkan -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 2:00:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
 
No response is a rude response.  I absolutely agree with this.  So far, I have seen people post about how, if they respond with a 'no thanks not looking' or 'no thanks - already in a relationship' then they get rude responses of 'fat cow' or 'whore' or 'you must be a man'.
 
Not once in my entire time on CM have I ever had that.  Not once in my time now having a joint profile with Darcy, have we had such a response.  Yet, I have responded quite frankly and bluntly to requests of further contact - explaining that no I am not a female dominant and that no, we are not looking and that people should read our profile.  Not once have we, or I ever had a negative mail back.  We/I have had apologies.  We/I have had 'I didn't know' or even, 'Best wishes then'.  But never insults or attacks.



Lucky! [:D]

I get very little C-mail, and I reply to very little of the ones I get. Why? Because, even if they might be extremely polite, some of them do not know how to read. So when someone asks me if I am gay, I generally don't reply. No offense to gays.

I have replied to one or two such messages(which are polite). And, maybe I am just unlucky, but the replies I got back were always worthy of the "Which idiots write you?" thread in the off-topic forum. Its amusing, but it gets old after a while.

So, I agree with .dark. I am being rude, I guess, but really, I can't help it. One can do with less potential insults [:D] 




RCdc -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 2:06:36 AM)

Zakkan, if you weren't so hot and innocent looking in your photos, then those mails wouldn't keep coming.[;)]
 
I find it cool when people can accept that they might be rude - even if it is in misunderstanding.  It shows a kind of self acceptance of non perfection - humility is a big plus and a huge turn on.  But most people get so hung up on being perceived as rude or on the whole concept of earning respect like it's something of value.  It's not, instead it's fucking priceless.  You can't negociate on something like that.
 
smoochies hunni
 
the.dark.




KrysFyre -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 2:14:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I find it cool when people can accept that they might be rude - even if it is in misunderstanding. 



Hell one of the first messages i received from Master involved a misunderstanding; i thought He was being rude when He was making polite conversation.

As for no polite responses, i respond to most people when i log in...however there are a few i dont respond to. e.g. those which are obviously a scam, and those i'm told to ignore.

To be honest i'd like to see some of the messages that the OP sent out not to receive a response...communication is a two way street.

Krys




cinlela -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 5:51:42 AM)

[:)].....rude emails recieved begets rude replies..




KatyLied -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 5:54:36 AM)

quote:

What are people doing or projecting to get such negative feedback?


They are saying things like "no thank you, I'm not interested".  or "no thank you, I am in a relationship" or "no thank you, I don't have time to build a relationship at the present time"   These are the sort of responses I used to deliver in the past and with some dominants it was obviously displeasing and marked me as unsubmissive.  I found quickly that it is better to not respond.




desertdancer -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 6:09:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAuthoritarian

Why you may think it is rude the reality is they do not "owe" anyone a reply. Just because the phone rings, does not mean someone must answer. Just because there is a knock on the door does not mean someone must open the door. They may in fact think it is rude that you "expect" any response. Then is is always the, "if they do not respond then that is your answer".
 


I think you've just said it the best I've ever read here in my time on CM. 

Though I hardly ever answer the phone, I do try to answer every mail I receive here if I'm logged in.  I do try to be polite, not because I owe it to you as a Dom, but because I feel I owe it to you as a person.  If I meet some random someone on the street I try to always offer a smile and a hiya, not because I am submissive but 'cause I'm trying to be a nice person.




thishereboi -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 6:18:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Lady I'm talking simply about a first reply..


Dude, I'm telling you why we don't bother with the first reply.  It's rarely worth it.


You get what you put out comes to mind.



Sometimes this is true, then sometime you get crap for no obvious reason. I get email from men telling me how intelligent they are and how if I would only look at their profile, I would see what a wonderful master I could have, if only I wrote them back. Generally I write them back and ask, if they are so bloody intelligent, why are they writing a lesbian? If someone can't be bothered to read my profile, then why should I be bothered to answer them. This isn't to say that sometimes I won't send them a snarky reply, but for the most part, I just ignore them.




susie -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 6:31:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

hello
when you write to a true slave/submissve you will get an answer back that is all. i had one i spoke to ffor three years we meant and it was so nice but as time went on e became crazy acting and lose the slave part of him and began to talk of turning me in his slave i know many slave like bondage but he want to be tape his mouth put a hood on and then want to be place in a box and left for days . i donot have funerals he would had passed on the way he wanted to be tidie and people who would just died so he has to go and i let him go i can tie and whip spank, but not boxes

i aprove of this message lol

mons


Snort! There goes my chance of being a "true slave/submissive"

Still I would rather be the person I am than bother responding to ignorant so called Doms who think they are owed something.




thishereboi -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 6:34:28 AM)

To the OP: What I find really rude is a master coming on CM and starting a thread to rant and rave......and then you never hear from said master again.

Of course things might have been different if everyone had come on here and told you how you were right and justified, but I guess we will never know for sure.




HandSolo -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 6:34:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

List the post numbers, as I saw nobody who is saying what you are, to the extent that you are. At best, a general poll would clearly demonstrate my point. I can speak confidently on the matter, because I draw my reading of Internet etiquette from actually observing what is considered acceptable behavior by the overwhelming majority, and by reading primers on expected norms of behavior. I am quite certain you have not, partly because you have stated as much.


Yeah well, you can't go by post numbers hunni, bubble busted.


I don't need to go by the post numbers. I posted a link to a Google search on "internet dating etiquette." Go ahead and browse if you like. There are at least a dozen articles by self-proclaimed experts, and all but one, from 1999, and another, aimed particularly at over-40 women, advise that a no-response is equivalent to "thanks but no thanks," and is accepted protocol.

I dug further. There were a number of threads on various BBS in those results. I scanned through them, to get a rough tabulation of the opinions on the matter. Regardless of the degree of hysteria/acrimony of the thread, the opinions fell at least 3:1 in favor of "no response," and that was granting a generous definition of pro-response posts.

More interestingly, I noted, just as I had supposed, that there were, in fact, people who preferred to get a "no response" to a "no thanks," and even some who were irritated by a "no thanks." In fact, there were nearly as many who preferred to receive no response as those who found a no response rude.

Putting aside one's preconceptions and personal preferences on the matter, there is no way I can conclude anything but that the "no response" is the standard demurral, and that sending a "no thanks" is nearly as likely to offend as a pocket veto is.




RCdc -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 6:39:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

List the post numbers, as I saw nobody who is saying what you are, to the extent that you are. At best, a general poll would clearly demonstrate my point. I can speak confidently on the matter, because I draw my reading of Internet etiquette from actually observing what is considered acceptable behavior by the overwhelming majority, and by reading primers on expected norms of behavior. I am quite certain you have not, partly because you have stated as much.


Yeah well, you can't go by post numbers hunni, bubble busted.


I don't need to go by the post numbers. I posted a link to a Google search on "internet dating etiquette." Go ahead and browse if you like. There are at least a dozen articles by self-proclaimed experts, and all but one, from 1999, and another, aimed particularly at over-40 women, advise that a no-response is equivalent to "thanks but no thanks," and is accepted protocol.

I dug further. There were a number of threads on various BBS in those results. I scanned through them, to get a rough tabulation of the opinions on the matter. Regardless of the degree of hysteria/acrimony of the thread, the opinions fell at least 3:1 in favor of "no response," and that was granting a generous definition of pro-response posts.

More interestingly, I noted, just as I had supposed, that there were, in fact, people who preferred to get a "no response" to a "no thanks," and even some who were irritated by a "no thanks." In fact, there were nearly as many who preferred to receive no response as those who found a no response rude.

Putting aside one's preconceptions and personal preferences on the matter, there is no way I can conclude anything but that the "no response" is the standard demurral, and that sending a "no thanks" is nearly as likely to offend as a pocket veto is.



Well, unless you post all the links to the alleged google links you found, what you found is pretty pointless.  The fact is that no one is saying that no response isn't a response.  But that no response is a rude one.  People can use smoke and mirrors as much as they want, but it is still rude.
 
And I am comfortable being rude.[;)]  If I have to be.
 
the.dark.




JustDarkness -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/13/2008 6:59:18 AM)

so we have people sending shit messages to polite people. These polite people get sick of it and don't respond to both polite and unpolite people...and therefor becomming inpolite also.
So in the end...we will become all inpolite.
And still I think for a community...that is scary and could even lead to a communities end.
And there is no one to blame but ourselfs, as we choose to treat people as we are treated ourselfs.





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