quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Two from this morning, "Hey you" from a guy with a (literally) 2 word profile, and "What kind of flower are you?" from a guy with a one paragraph profile about BDSM gardening. Somehow, I don't think either one sent their message only to me, nor are they waiting with baited breath for my reply....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I get your words beautifulone.  The thing I would add is that people who are friends that you don't respond to or write already know where they stand with you.  That unwritten 'rule' is sealed in friendship.  Strangers don't have that, so yes it is subjective in a sense.  But if you forget to answer, or are too busy - that is different to making a conscious decision to not reply, because you don't want to or are too busy etc.
 
the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

People suck - but they do have fucking rocking potential.
 
the.dark.

quote:

at least they are very different then beeing fucked with a bowie knife.(as mentioned before)
I don't see them as bad, perhaps they are shy or just...drums please....kind?   I mean..that could be possibilities..

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

List the post numbers, as I saw nobody who is saying what you are, to the extent that you are. At best, a general poll would clearly demonstrate my point. I can speak confidently on the matter, because I draw my reading of Internet etiquette from actually observing what is considered acceptable behavior by the overwhelming majority, and by reading primers on expected norms of behavior. I am quite certain you have not, partly because you have stated as much.

Yeah well, you can't go by post numbers hunni, bubble busted.

I don't need to go by the post numbers. I posted a link to a Google search on "internet dating etiquette." Go ahead and browse if you like. There are at least a dozen articles by self-proclaimed experts, and all but one, from 1999, and another, aimed particularly at over-40 women, advise that a no-response is equivalent to "thanks but no thanks," and is accepted protocol.

I dug further. There were a number of threads on various BBS in those results. I scanned through them, to get a rough tabulation of the opinions on the matter. Regardless of the degree of hysteria/acrimony of the thread, the opinions fell at least 3:1 in favor of "no response," and that was granting a generous definition of pro-response posts.

More interestingly, I noted, just as I had supposed, that there were, in fact, people who preferred to get a "no response" to a "no thanks," and even some who were irritated by a "no thanks." In fact, there were nearly as many who preferred to receive no response as those who found a no response rude.

Putting aside one's preconceptions and personal preferences on the matter, there is no way I can conclude anything but that the "no response" is the standard demurral, and that sending a "no thanks" is nearly as likely to offend as a pocket veto is.

Well, unless you post all the links to the alleged google links you found, what you found is pretty pointless.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

  The fact is that no one is saying that no response isn't a response.  But that no response is a rude one.  People can use smoke and mirrors as much as they want, but it is still rude.

And I am comfortable being rude.  If I have to be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

As for the poll numbers and the posted etiquette...like i said earlier..It only reflects the attitudes of society now.

quote:

ORIGINAL: windycitysub78

Hillarious stuff!  Amazing how few people on here understand a simple concenpt like this:  Just because one is submissive, that does not mean she/he should be submissive to you!

...but I do feel sorry for Women on these sites, trully I do. :(

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

People suck - but they do have fucking rocking potential.
 
the.dark.

I have just the opposite view.

 
See, I don't see perfection in people.  I see their flaws and their mistakes and I love them.  Adore them.  And I can see the potential that human beings have for self improvement and evolution.  People suck - for all the beautiful reasons.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to NuevaVida)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

As for the poll numbers and the posted etiquette...like i said earlier..It only reflects the attitudes of society now.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I get your words beautifulone.  The thing I would add is that people who are friends that you don't respond to or write already know where they stand with you.  That unwritten 'rule' is sealed in friendship.  Strangers don't have that, so yes it is subjective in a sense.  But if you forget to answer, or are too busy - that is different to making a conscious decision to not reply, because you don't want to or are too busy etc.
 
the.dark.

if you type your response in the response box first, then highlight what you want to quote from .thedark. and paste it to the beginning of your response after that, the formatting she uses doesn't affect yours.

quote:

...And yet...there are so very many who just never reply/respond or react in any way whatsoever...

quote:


A sub/slave's 'duty' is first and foremost 'to serve', this includes, but is definitely not limited to, responding when a Master/Mistress say's something to them...even if the response is in the 'negative'.

there are lots of folks who identify as submissive or slave who don't react submissively to everyone who identifies as Master/Mistress...only those who they specifically choose to...and there is nothing wrong with that, either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSickFck

I've said this before and i will say it again, I PREFER that if a woman is not interested that she NOT reply to my email, which is why I end all my initial emails with "If interested, drop me a note and say hello, if not good luck in your search".

If a woman is NOT interested why would I want to spend even 10 seconds of my time opening, reading and then deleting a "Thanks But No Thanks" email. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

List the post numbers, as I saw nobody who is saying what you are, to the extent that you are. At best, a general poll would clearly demonstrate my point. I can speak confidently on the matter, because I draw my reading of Internet etiquette from actually observing what is considered acceptable behavior by the overwhelming majority, and by reading primers on expected norms of behavior. I am quite certain you have not, partly because you have stated as much.

Yeah well, you can't go by post numbers hunni, bubble busted.

I don't need to go by the post numbers. I posted a link to a Google search on "internet dating etiquette." Go ahead and browse if you like. There are at least a dozen articles by self-proclaimed experts, and all but one, from 1999, and another, aimed particularly at over-40 women, advise that a no-response is equivalent to "thanks but no thanks," and is accepted protocol.

I dug further. There were a number of threads on various BBS in those results. I scanned through them, to get a rough tabulation of the opinions on the matter. Regardless of the degree of hysteria/acrimony of the thread, the opinions fell at least 3:1 in favor of "no response," and that was granting a generous definition of pro-response posts.

More interestingly, I noted, just as I had supposed, that there were, in fact, people who preferred to get a "no response" to a "no thanks," and even some who were irritated by a "no thanks." In fact, there were nearly as many who preferred to receive no response as those who found a no response rude.

Putting aside one's preconceptions and personal preferences on the matter, there is no way I can conclude anything but that the "no response" is the standard demurral, and that sending a "no thanks" is nearly as likely to offend as a pocket veto is.

Well, unless you post all the links to the alleged google links you found, what you found is pretty pointless.  The fact is that no one is saying that no response isn't a response.  But that no response is a rude one.  People can use smoke and mirrors as much as they want, but it is still rude.
 
And I am comfortable being rude.  If I have to be.
 
the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I turn to Miss Manners for the answer: No reply, is your reply and, in fact, is the only reply that does not send potentially confusing signals.

Even saying "no thanks" may be and often has been an opening for an unwanted suitor to continue to press his case. It has been centuries that polite society taught it's members to simply ignore unwanted attention.

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ORIGINAL: spankablemilf

Why on earth would you want to waste your time reading a thanks but no thanks response?  Just makes no blasted sense to me whatsoever. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
That said, neither of these people even read my profile, they are simply shotgunning one liners in hopes of getting a response.

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

It's not exactly unsolicited in a sense..you do have a profile up on a dating site.

That's a matter of opinion. I see this as an online community. Not everyone who has a profile is here to "date." I'm here for dialogue and exchanges, and if something cool happens as a result, great. If not, nothing lost because that's not my purpose for being here. I think a pretty huge handful of others would say the same.